This Irish magic school setting hits different than the usual wizard academy bullshit. You're playing some loser who can't get laid to save his life, which honestly? Relatable as fuck. Five years at this fancy Tír na nÓg place and you've got nothing to show for it - no grades, no sports trophies, definitely no pussy. Your buddy Eric comes up with this brilliant idea to use some ancient spell to conjure up girlfriends, because apparently that's what passes for problem-solving in magical Ireland. The spell works, sort of, but there's always a catch with this old magic crap. Now you've got to actually earn your keep and climb the social ladder before you can claim your magical girlfriend prize.

The sandbox RPG mechanics let you wander around doing whatever the hell you want, which is nice because most of these school games railroad you through boring-ass storylines. You can focus on studying to boost your grades, hit the gym to get swole, or just chase after the various big-titted witches roaming the halls. The art style does justice to all the curvy magical babes you'll be pursuing - we're talking proper thicc witches with assets that defy both gravity and school uniform regulations. There's something satisfying about starting as the school's biggest nobody and gradually working your way up to actually matter. Though honestly, the pacing feels weird sometimes - one minute you're struggling with basic spells, next minute you're somehow important enough that hot sorceresses give a damn about you.

What really works here is how the game doesn't pretend you're some chosen one bullshit from day one. You earn every bit of respect and every piece of ass through actual effort, even if that effort involves magical shortcuts. The fantasy school setting gives you plenty of excuses to explore different kinks and scenarios without things getting too repetitive. Sure, it's not the most original premise, but when you're balls deep in a redheaded witch who's teaching you "advanced wand techniques," originality becomes less of a priority.

You’re flipping burgers in some sad McDonald’s, trying not to think about your life choices, and suddenly the world just glitches. Instead of the fryer you’re staring at Voldemort’s noseless mug while still smelling like burned oil. He basically speedruns the job interview: no contract, no payroll, just “congrats, you’re a Hogwarts professor now, go corrupt Hermione or die.” That’s the vibe. One second you’re asking “with or without pickles,” next second you’re being told to turn the golden girl of Hogwarts into a filthy bad witch who’d probably hex your dick off and then step on it in heels. And it somehow works. The game just tosses you into Hogwarts like you slipped in through a fanfic side door, but now you’ve got powers and authority and absolutely no HR department watching you. You walk around this parody Hogwarts, talk shit, try not to piss off the Dark Lord, and slowly poke at Hermione’s “perfect girl” shell until it cracks and she starts looking at you like homework she wants to do on her knees.

Hermione here is not the shy bookworm people pretend she is. She starts strict, naggy, all “rules, rules, rules,” but you can see the dev really enjoys turning her into a problem. Clothes get shorter, poses get bolder, she starts throwing those “this is wrong” lines while obviously loving every second. It’s that slow corruption style where your choices and little events stack up. You tease her in class, you nudge her into “practical lessons,” you catch her after hours when the halls are empty and the only magic that matters is making her legs shake. Some of the scenes get wild, especially once she starts using magic while you’re already inside her. Stuff floats, lights flicker, she struggles between being the good little prefect and the girl whose tits are basically falling out of her uniform. And yeah, they made sure she is… very stacked. Ass too. This is the type of Hermione who could smother the entire Gryffindor common room just by sitting down. There’s one moment where she’s bent over a desk “studying” and honestly you forget there’s a world outside the screen. Then suddenly Voldemort checks in and you remember you’re technically supposed to be doing evil, not just horny.

Side note, Bellatrix here completely steals scenes she’s in. She shows up as your twisted assistant, like some goth HR rep from hell whose only job is helping you ruin Hermione while laughing in your face. Half the time she’s mocking you, half the time she’s lowkey ready to ride you till your spine folds, and you never fully know which one you’re getting. She offers “advice” that might help you or might screw your mission and it’s kinda funny how you still click it like an idiot. There’s this bit where she’s explaining how to break Hermione’s resistance and she’s doing it while basically pressing her huge tits into you, like girl, how am I supposed to listen to your evil lecture when your cleavage looks like a death trap I want to fall into. And then the game just casually throws Arcueid in there like it’s the most normal crossover in the world. McDonald’s wage slave turned Hogwarts professor trying to corrupt Hermione with Bellatrix coaching him, and suddenly the blonde chaos vampire girl pops up in this Harry Potter parody like “sup, I’m here now.” It’s stupid, but in the fun way, like a meme that went on too long and became art by accident. The whole thing feels a bit scuffed, a bit random, a lot horny, and somehow that mix of big tits, big asses, magic tricks and dark humor just keeps your hand on the mouse when you said you’d close it after “one more scene.”

Sophia Parker looks like the kind of woman who should be drinking wine in the kitchen and talking about PTA meetings, but the game is basically about how fast that image breaks once she hits San Alejo. You start as this middle-aged wife and mom who keeps telling herself she’s “happily married”, while the city around her is hot, sticky, and full of people who stare at her tits like they’re a public monument. Her new life feels way too big for her, big house, big backyard, big everything, and the story kind of pokes her from all sides until she stops pretending she doesn’t like being watched. What sells it is that you don’t just click through scenes, you pick how she reacts when someone’s eyes linger too long on her ass, or when the neighbor just “accidentally” sees her sunbathing. One moment she’s scolding someone for looking, next moment you’re choosing whether she keeps her bikini top on while she leans forward a little too much. It’s less about stats, more about how far you’re willing to push her, and how much she lies to herself while doing it.

The game gets really spicy around Ellie and Logan though. There’s this branch where Ellie forgives Logan, but only if you’ve basically turned Sophia into her secret lesbian safety net first. Those earlier scenes with Sophia and Ellie matter a lot more than they look at first. You’re not just clicking “kiss” or “no,” you’re building this slow burn where Sophia goes from awkward “I’m your mom’s friend” hugs to sitting too close, to that first time she lets Ellie’s hand stay on her thigh a few seconds too long. When you finally hit the event where Ellie has taken Logan back, the tension is brutal in a good way. She’s technically “his girl” again, but she’s still sneaking these hungry, guilty looks at Sophia when they’re alone, and you feel it. There’s this one scene where they’re in the backyard at night, the house lights on behind them, and you can choose whether Sophia pretends not to notice Ellie’s nipples poking through her top, or just stares and lets it happen. I picked the second one, obviously, and it turns into this messy, wet makeout with Ellie grinding on Sophia’s leg like she hasn’t touched herself in weeks, while the game keeps reminding you Logan is literally inside the house. That mix of cheating, voyeur vibe, and “I shouldn’t be doing this but I really want to taste her again” is pretty much the core of the whole thing. It likes to put Sophia in spots where someone could walk in at any moment, or where a window is just a little too open, and then let you decide if she plays it safe or spreads her legs a bit wider and hopes no one is looking. She’s got big tits, a thick ass, and the camera knows it, especially when she’s on her knees, mouth shiny, pretending she’s still the good wife while her tongue is all over another girl. You can call it romance, sure, except every time you try to convince yourself it’s “about feelings,” the game drops another scene of Sophia masturbating alone after, fingering herself hard because the memory of Ellie’s tongue or some forbidden glance has her soaked, and she can’t blame the city for that.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.