Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Tiffa in this game feels like that hot girl from cam chat who pretends she has her shit together, then one bad night and suddenly she’s letting strangers see way more than just cleavage. The whole thing starts stupid simple: dark alley, shady guy, city that looks like it smells of sweat and oil, and her trying to do the “good girl with strong morals” act. Five clicks later she’s already in a situation where those morals are hanging by a thread and honestly, that’s where it gets fun. You’re not just watching her get fucked, you’re kind of guiding how fast she slides from “I’m not that type of girl” to “okay, maybe just a little, but only this once” while she’s breathing hard and blushing and pretending she doesn’t like people seeing her like that. The point and click stuff is simple, yeah, but it works: you poke at a trash can, you poke at a door, you poke at a guy’s crotch by “accident” and suddenly there’s a choice about whether Tiffa lets her top slip a bit too low just to get what she wants. I love that feeling where a wrong click makes you discover a new scene with her pressed to a wall, tits squished, trying not to moan too loud. And she fails. Every time.

The wild part is when Aerith shows up. She’s not just a background waifu, she’s this soft, “pure” girl that looks like she belongs in a flower shop, not in some half-legal alley fuckfest. But she still gets tangled in the mess, and that’s when the multiple protagonist thing actually hits. One moment you’re steering Tiffa, making her flash her big tits to distract some creep who clearly doesn’t deserve that view, and the next you’re on Aerith’s side, choosing whether she acts brave or just pretends she doesn’t notice the guy staring at her thighs. There’s this one scene where you can push it: Tiffa is cornered in a narrow passage, shirt half open, sweat on her chest, guy’s hand already on her ass, and instead of stopping it you can click just the right spot and she leans into it. You feel a bit dirty, like when a viewer in my cam room tips extra just to watch me “accidentally” show more on Chaturbate and I pretend to be shy but I’m already wet. That same vibe. The exhibitionism is not “oh look, clothes disappear”, it’s more like: she knows people are watching, she knows she should stop, but she keeps going because orgasms beat morals every time. Meanwhile the romance angle quietly sneaks in with little lines and looks, which I liked and also kinda hated because I came here to watch Tiffa get ruined, not catch feelings, yet when she actually blushes at a soft touch instead of a rough grab, it hits different. Point and click feels almost too light sometimes, you just hover around the screen until the cursor changes and suddenly Tiffa is on her knees, lips parted, mascara probably about to run. I only got annoyed by one tiny thing: a hotspot near a wall that looks clickable but it’s not, and I kept smacking my mouse there like an idiot instead of focusing on her tits. Anyway, the mix of alley grime, Final Fantasy nostalgia, and shameless sex where both girls end up more exposed than they planned feels weirdly close to real cam life: you start with “no nudity, just teasing” and a few choices later you’re naked, turned on, and negotiating with yourself more than with anyone else.

Ash and Mila look all sweet at first glance, that couple you’d scroll past on Instagram and think “ok, too wholesome, next”, but the game just keeps poking holes in that image until you’re watching this nice engaged pair doing things in their apartment that should probably void the rental contract. You jump between the two, which I really liked, since seeing both sides of a relationship while they’re horny, stressed, and kinda dumb is way better than just watching some dude bang everything that moves. One minute Ash is trying to focus on work with one hand on the mouse and the other already creeping into his pants, staring at some AI-generated porn that looks a little too close to a girl he actually knows, and the next you’re Mila, half bored, half turned on, sitting on the couch in a loose shirt, phone in hand, thinking, “Do I tease him right now or make him beg later?” The game really leans into that quiet domestic sex vibe: she “accidentally” bends over for way too long while doing laundry, his eyes are stuck to her ass, you feel your own mouse drifting with his gaze, and yeah, of course you grab and grope because why the hell wouldn’t you.

When they finally lock the door to the bedroom, it’s not just a quick fade to black stuff. You get the slow build, the kind where Mila pushes Ash back on the bed and climbs on top, tits hanging right in his face while she grinds on him through his boxers, just to watch him squirm. She’s not shy about it either, grabbing his head and stuffing his face in her chest, soft skin and heavy breasts making it hard for him to breathe but he’s clearly not complaining. There’s a great little moment where she’s going down on him, spit and precum glistening, her fingers lazily stroking his balls while she looks up with this smug “I own you” expression, and you’re given the choice: let him cum on her tongue or force him to wait so she can feel it deep inside instead. When you pick the creampie option and watch her sink down on him, her ass bouncing in his lap, her pussy swallowing him in slow strokes until he finally gives in and fills her up, it actually feels earned, because the whole build-up was teasing, edging, little touches and looks across the room. And yeah, sometimes the faces look a bit too AI-smooth and perfect, and one of Mila’s idle poses keeps clipping her hand in a weird way that annoyed me way more than it should, but then you catch that shot of her lying on her back after sex, cum slowly leaking out of her, thighs shiny, fingers lightly rubbing herself again because she’s not quite done, and suddenly you don’t care about that tiny bug at all.