Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

Curse of the Six Serpents feels like somebody mashed a horny power fantasy with a fucked up history lesson about Hogwarts, then just let it run wild. You play this smug male caster who basically hijacks an old curse that Salazar left hidden under the school, using it to slowly break six of the “big” witches into full on sex slaves. It sounds edgy on paper, but what surprised me was how nasty and specific some scenes get. One moment you’re walking the halls like a normal wizard, the next you’re peeking through magic wards and watching Hermione unknowingly bend over a desk, her robe hiking up just enough that you feel like a creep and still keep clicking. The voyeur angle is strong here. The game really wants you to feel like you’re stalking the castle, catching Molly half undressed in a guest room, or seeing Luna in some weird position “charging crystals” with her huge tits bouncing in a way that definitely didn’t happen in the books. Or maybe it did and Rowling just chickened out.

The corruption stuff ramps up slower than I expected, which is both hot and annoying. You’ll talk to Hermione again and again, push dialogs, use your new superpowers to nudge her thoughts, then finally see her go from outraged student to someone who blushes while spreading her own pussy for you on command. Same with Fleur, who starts all haughty and superior, and later is on her knees, drool running down her chin because you told her that’s how a “proper offering” looks. Anal scenes hit harder with characters who’d never go for it normally. Narcissa acting all pureblood ice queen, then gritting her teeth as you push into her ass and she’s torn between pride and moaning like a whore. Sometimes the writing actually nails that filthy, humiliating shift in them, especially when you tell Minerva to keep her glasses on while you fuck her against a classroom wall and she’s trying to stay “professorial” even with your cum dripping down her thighs. Then other times a line lands flat and sounds like some horny teenager with Google Translate, which is funny because I’m not native either and even I winced at one or two of those. I keep forgetting where the save icons even are, which pisses me off every single time and I still don’t learn.

What I liked most is how the game doesn’t pretend you’re a hero. You’re a bastard with too much power, walking around a twisted Hogwarts, turning legendary women into meat for your altar. Bellatrix, who’s already crazy in canon, somehow becomes even more unhinged once you start playing with her mind, going from taunting you to begging to be chained to the bed so you can “mark every inch” of her big ass and tits. Molly getting dragged into this whole swinging situation, her mature body put side by side with younger girls, hits a different kink entirely, especially when she hesitates for half a second then climbs into your lap anyway. There’s a nice little thrill each time the curse tightens around one of them and you notice new dialog options, more explicit positions, vaginal and anal variations, little custom reactions when you push them too far and they break in just the way you wanted. The adventure parts are there, walking, exploring, triggering events, but you mostly remember the moments: Hermione on her knees between bookcases, Luna riding you slow in some forgotten tower while talking nonsense about stars, Narcissa forced to watch as you use another witch right in front of her. It’s messy, it’s not subtle, sometimes it’s actually kind of dumb. I still kept playing.

God Tier Academy feels like one of those horny power fantasy animes that got drunk, fell into a porn studio and just decided to stay there. You’re this poor bastard with basically broken magic, tossed into a school where every other student could fold you in half by sneezing too hard. Government has your balls in a vice, so you go anyway, pretending to be some kind of undercover badass, when in reality you’re walking plot armor with anxiety and a hard-on. The fun part is how fast things go from “I’m going to die in this hallway” to “I’m getting a sloppy blowjob from a girl who could vaporize a building.” It has that nice mix of fear and horny where your brain’s like: I might get murdered, but at least I’m getting my dick sucked first.

The whole academy is split into the usual ranks, S at the top, D at the bottom, and you’re basically not even on the list. That gives you a good excuse to be the punching bag, the pervy therapist, and the accidental harem magnet at the same time. One moment you’re stuck in a training class, trying not to get turned into a stain on the wall during a mock battle, then after class the same girl who almost burned your face off is sitting on your lap in a locker room, tongue in your mouth, your hand under her skirt, and she’s grinding her huge ass on you like that was the plan from the beginning. The game loves going from serious political shit, like shady higher-ups and secret missions, to you balls deep in some monster girl with tentacles coiling around your legs while she milks you from both ends. And it doesn’t pretend to be classy about it. There’s ahegao faces, messy creampies, spit strings during blowjobs, cum leaking out on the sheets, the whole thing. The 3D look is pretty solid on mobile too, even if sometimes a boob jiggle looks a bit rubbery, but honestly your brain is not in “animation critique mode” when you’re watching a double penetration scene on your phone in bed.

What hit me more than I expected is that it tries to be funny and romantic in between all the filth, and somehow doesn’t completely fail. You’ll be sitting in a cafeteria scene, chatting with this girl who acts all tsundere and smug, teasing you in front of everyone, foot rubbing against your crotch under the table like she’s bored out of her mind. Then later, same girl is whining with an ahegao face while you fuck her from behind in a dark classroom, her tits slapping against the desk, moaning your fake name like she’ll die without your cock. There’s group scenes where two or three girls share you and talk shit to each other mid-oral, like “you missed a spot” while they swap your dick between mouths, and then someone decides to shove a finger in your ass just to see you twitch. There’s also some pretty rough stuff, blood, violence, magic ripping monsters apart, so it leans into horror more than you’d expect from a game where half the UI time you’re just tapping through flirting. And, yeah, the gay content is there too, not some tiny checkbox scene, but actual dude-on-dude heat if you go for it, which I kind of didn’t plan at first, then suddenly I’m watching the MC on his knees sucking off a guy who just saved his life, because of course gratitude scenes get sexual in this place. The story pretends to be about politics and survival, but the real loop is: do mission, almost die, go back to dorm, get a handjob, maybe an anal scene in the shower if you picked the right options, wake up to more drama, repeat. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy, and weirdly relaxing, like watching a long-running lewd anime on your phone where every episode ends with somebody getting filled, sometimes by monsters, sometimes by classmates, sometimes by more than one at once.

Danny McCroy feels like that dude you see in a bar on a Tuesday afternoon, a little too confident, a little too horny, and somehow the universe keeps putting wet, messy situations in his lap. The game throws you into his skin and just lets you stumble from one filthy encounter to another with barely any attempt to pretend this is “wholesome romance”. You get a bit of story, some light plot about his life, but honestly it’s just scaffolding so he can end up face-first between someone’s thighs or buried in a thick ass that probably defies physics. I kinda respect that. It’s like the dev looked at subtlety and just said “nah, we’re here to make your dick do the thinking”. You click through dialog, tease a bit, pick some horny options, and suddenly he’s got his tongue in places and his hands in places and occasionally both at once. When the first scene where he actually goes down on her happened, the build up was just enough to make it feel earned, but not so long that I opened Twitter from boredom. Good balance, for someone clearly very focused on holes.

What surprised me most is how unashamedly the game treats older women. The MILF in here isn’t just a side dish, she walks into the room and everything kind of rearranges itself around her tits and her ass like gravity got confused. She’s not written like some fragile mom fantasy either. She’s bossy, a bit mean, and when Danny finally gets between her legs, it feels like he’s working for it, tongue doing overtime while she pulls his hair like a handle. The scene where she makes him focus on her first, riding his face and grinding till he’s basically suffocating in pussy, was way better than I expected. Then later, when she casually reaches for a toy from the bedside drawer like she’s done this a thousand times, and tells him to keep going while she fills herself even deeper, that’s the moment I sort of forgot I was “reviewing” anything. The pacing there hits that sweet spot where you’re half annoyed by how long she teases and then suddenly he’s stretching her with his hand, knuckles disappearing, and you just think, yeah, that escalated nicely.

The game does have this thing where it really wants Danny to be a universal key that fits every lock. Younger girl, older woman, tight body, big tits, asian beauty with that careful makeup and soft voice that hides a real nasty side once she spreads her legs. He somehow always has the same cocky grin, whether he’s licking slow up a slit, tongue circling the clit, or he’s pushing in from behind and staring at the way her ass bounces when he slams her. There’s an anal scene where she pretends to resist at first, just a little, then that first moment when he pushes past and her face shifts from “no way” to “oh fuck” is honestly the best expression work in the whole thing. I wish they had that level of attention on every scene, but then there are moments where dialog feels like it was written in a rush, like a bad porn title got turned into a line. Still, when he’s got a toy buzzing on her clit while he fucks her from behind, watching her tits sway and her ass shake, it all sort of melts together into this messy, dirty, low-class kind of hot. It’s not elegant. It’s not trying to be. It’s like Danny’s whole world is just mouths, tits, asses, and holes to fill, and honestly, sometimes that’s enough.