Game starts and she’s already half in it, no long story, just this blonde with big porn star energy walking into some cheap looking beach arcade like it’s a job interview. She’s got this tight swimsuit that looks more like something from a trashy Instagram ad than real sportswear, and it actually fits the vibe. There’s sand outside, fake neon inside, and then those booths with holes in the wall that the game is clearly way too proud of. It all feels a bit dirty in a good way, like someone mixed a summer holiday with a gross bathroom and said, yeah, people will jerk to this.

The whole “I want to open my own porn studio” dream is funny, because the game pretends it cares about that goal for like two lines and then completely forgets it once the first dick slips through the glory hole. Money counter jumps every time she starts sucking, and honestly that’s the only “economy system” that matters here. You just watch her work for cash, one blowjob at a time, and it’s weirdly honest as a monetization metaphor. The game is free, but it really feels like it wants you thinking about coins and points and upgrades, just like the shady gacha crap in mobile apps. Only here the prize is more cum on her face, not a new skin in Genshin or some battle pass in Fortnite. Same logic, different fluid.

Her animations when she leans down on the hole actually surprised me, in a stupid way. She adjusts her posture, grabs the shaft like she knows what she’s doing, then you notice her expression change when the guy on the other side starts to get close. It’s porn logic, yeah, but there’s a tiny bit of character there. She’s not shy at all. She opens wide, takes it messy, doesn’t even pretend she cares who’s on the other side. That part is hot and also kind of depressing, like she’s become just another resource in an arcade machine. You pop in a “coin”, she spits and sucks, he explodes, repeat. It’s capitalism with cumshots.

And that beach setting. At first it looks pointless, but actually it hits this thing in the brain. Knowing that right outside this crusty arcade, there are people walking, kids with ice cream, normal couples splashing in the water, while inside she’s kneeling in front of a wall, swallowing strangers through a hole. That contrast is kinda fucked and kinda great. Makes the whole scenario feel more wrong. In a porn game way. Like someone took a sunny vacation photo and smeared it with sex.

Controls are simple to a fault, like a very horny rhythm minigame that forgot it’s supposed to be about “fun” too, not only timing. Sometimes you get a combo for making her keep the pace, sometimes the guy just blows early and you feel cheated. The game clearly wants you to chase higher scores, faster finishes, better “performance” from her. The weird part is that she reacts differently depending on how you play. Keep her at a slower rhythm and she looks like she’s enjoying the taste, speeding up looks more desperate, more like she’s working hard for that cash. That tiny detail actually got to me more than it should.

The cumshots are the main payoff and they don’t pretend to be classy. Thick, messy, dripping down her lips, sometimes on her swimsuit, sometimes on her cheek. It’s not subtle at all. She blinks when her eyes get hit, licks her lips when it’s on her mouth, cleans nothing. Just waits for the next guy. After a few rounds, the scoreboard feels less sexy and more like a spreadsheet of her dignity getting converted into coins, which, yeah, is the whole porn studio dream, I guess. The game sort of mocks itself and doesn’t even know it.

Still, when that last big payout appears and her balance jumps, you almost feel proud of her. Then you remember all she did was deepthroat a bunch of anonymous cocks through a hole in a sticky beach arcade for our entertainment and some imaginary startup capital, and suddenly that little victory screen tastes like cheap lube. In a good way. Or a bad way. Hard to tell.

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Princess Peach in this thing is not the cute little damsel people remember from old school cartridge days. She wakes up basically drenched in yesterday’s fun, still with dried cum on her tits and belly, and the “oh no Mario is gone” energy is way more “shit, I need my dick back” than heroic quest. The whole game feels like somebody mashed an old Nintendo arcade with the kind of filthy hentai you’re not supposed to admit you watch, then said, yeah, Peach is a complete slut now, deal with it. You’re hopping through rooms of the castle, but every few screens you’re not really thinking about coins or enemies, you’re thinking “ok, who is she going to blow next and how hard is the cumshot going to hit her face this time.” It’s still that Mushroom Kingdom vibe, sort of, just with Peach dropping to her knees faster than a goomba gets flattened. Seeing her with her crown on, mascara a little messy, lips shiny with spit while she’s deepthroating some random troop that’s supposed to be Bowser’s guard is weirdly hot and kind of stupid in the best way.

The “levels” are basically excuses to set up more sex, and that’s not a complaint at all, except when it is. You press the same couple of keys to jump or dodge and then suddenly you’re locked into a blowjob loop where timing the strokes actually matters for how fast the guy explodes on her face. One mistake and you’re watching Peach choking and gagging, blonde hair stuck to her cheeks with semen, like she’s done this a thousand times, which she kinda has, lore-wise. I liked that there’s this one moment where she sneaks past a fire trap only to “accidentally” land on a cock waiting behind a column, like, girl, really, you didn’t see that? It made me laugh and jerk off at the same time, which is a cursed combo. But the game also loves to stall you with tiny annoying bits, like one segment where the platforming feels off by half a pixel and you just keep falling, losing the mood, until the next scene of her hungrily sucking off a chain chomp reskins your brain again. The parody is all over the place, like they misremembered half of Super Mario Bros and didn’t care, but that actually makes it hotter somehow, because it’s less respectful and more “fuck this childhood memory, Peach is a cock-hungry mess now and she’ll use sex as her only weapon until she gets her plumber back, if she even wants him after all that.”

This thing is pure horny cartoon chaos, in the best and worst way at same time. You open it, and boom, Jessica is already there like she owns your screen, tits basically defying gravity, dress painted on her body so tight you can almost hear the zipper crying. She gives you that lazy, “I know you’re gonna be a slut for me” look, and yeah, she’s right. The whole vibe is like someone mashed up old-school ToonTown with a Pornhub search for “redhead with ridiculous boobs” and then said, “yeah, let’s make her fuck a rabbit, why not.” There is no romance here, baby, it’s just cartoon meat show. One second she’s posing like a pin-up queen, the next you’re dragging that shiny dress off piece by piece, and it feels kinda wrong but also very, very correct. I loved how the game lets you linger on her body as long as you want, but also I hated it, because I kept clicking the same spot by accident on my phone and it kept skipping ahead. Still clicked again though. Obviously.

Once she’s naked, the whole tone shifts from “ha-ha fun parody” to “oh damn, this is actual hardcore porn but with a rabbit.” Roger looks like he has no idea how he got this lucky, like he tripped and fell straight into OnlyFans. The first actual action moment that made me laugh out loud: Jessica dropping down in front of him, grabbing those bunny hips, and just stuffing that long white cartoon cock straight into her throat like she’s clocking in for work. No build up, no romance, just *schlurp*. The deepthroat animation goes wild, her throat bulging, mascara vibes, spit all over, and she keeps eye contact with you, not him, which is such a little dirty detail. She’s not swallowing for Roger, she’s swallowing for the viewer, full pornstar energy. The cumshot is rude in a fun way, too, like the game is winking at you: you think it’s gonna be a little drip, then suddenly her whole face is glazed like a Krispy Kreme. I was half cheering, half thinking, okay girl, you need a towel and a tetanus shot.

And then the riding starts and things get a little unhinged. She climbs on that rabbit and the camera practically worships her ass, big and bouncy like it’s got its own physics engine, even though this whole thing is super simple. She switches from grinding on his cock nice and slow to just pounding herself down like she’s trying to break the poor animal in half. Pussy, ass, everything on the menu, no shy angles, you get full views of penetration that look dirty and goofy at the same time, because hello, that is still a rabbit. There’s this one moment where you can see his dumb happy face in the corner while she’s bouncing away like a rodeo queen, and I actually had to pause, open Twitter, and type “I am watching a rabbit wreck Jessica Rabbit’s holes and I’m okay with this.” I wasn’t, but that’s between me and my browser history. The game is short, trashy, and kinda janky in spots, but honestly that just makes it feel more like some cursed Newgrounds relic you’d find hidden in an old folder labeled “homework.” It’s wrong. It’s hot. It’s stupid. I replayed the facial twice.