Luke's got this whole university thing figured out - or at least he thinks he does. This isn't your typical college romance where some awkward freshman stumbles through dating mishaps. Nah, Luke's been through this rodeo before, literally. Time loops, resets, whatever you want to call it - he's lived his first year over and over until he's basically gaming the system. Now he's ready for what he calls "Phase Two," which sounds way more strategic than it probably should be for a guy just trying to get laid.

The whole premise is pretty wild when you think about it. Luke's essentially become a relationship speedrunner, knowing exactly which buttons to push with each girl. There's this maid cafe setup that becomes central to everything - because of course there is. The game throws you into managing relationships with different girls who each have their own specific kinks and fetishes. One minute you're dealing with some vanilla romance situation, next thing you know you're deep in BDSM territory or watching some serious NTR unfold. The variety is honestly overwhelming sometimes. You've got your classic anime parody characters mixed in too - I spotted what looked like Nico Robin and Boa Hancock variants, which feels both nostalgic and weird at the same time.

What gets me is how the game handles the whole "perfect base" concept Luke keeps talking about. It's like he's treating relationships like some kind of RPG stat management, which... honestly isn't that far from reality if we're being real here. The turn-based combat elements feel randomly thrown in, but somehow work with the overall simulator vibe. There's phone interactions, dating mechanics, and this whole corruption progression system that gets pretty intense. The multiple endings thing means you're constantly second-guessing your choices, wondering if you're optimizing for the right fetish path or missing out on some kinky scenario. Luke might have his advantage, but navigating all these relationship dynamics still feels like controlled chaos.

I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

This Resident Evil parody throws you straight into Lady Dimitrescu's castle, and honestly? The devs knew exactly what they were doing. You're playing some poor bastard who's gotta survive Alcina's "trial" - which basically means getting dominated by a nine-foot vampire mommy and her equally stacked daughters. The turn-based combat system feels clunky at first, like they copy-pasted it from some RPG maker tutorial, but once you realize the real gameplay is about managing your stamina while getting your face buried in supernatural cleavage, it starts making sense. There's this one scene where Dimitrescu pins you against the wall and the camera angle is just... chef's kiss. The 3DCG models look decent enough, though Lady D's proportions are so exaggerated she looks like she'd topple over in real life.

Combat encounters blend into these weird BDSM scenarios where losing actually feels like winning. You'll find yourself deliberately failing just to see what creative punishment awaits. The spanking animations have more effort put into them than the actual sword fighting mechanics, which tells you where the priorities were. Sandbox elements let you explore the castle freely, groping your way through dark corridors while avoiding or seeking out the various monster girls lurking around. Some of the dialogue during sex scenes made me laugh out loud - not sure if that was intentional. The ahegao faces during climax moments are over-the-top ridiculous but somehow work within this campy horror-porn aesthetic.

What really caught me off guard was how they handled the size difference fetish stuff. Tall vs short dynamics play out in every interaction, from handjobs where your character can barely reach to titfuck scenes that look physically impossible. The harem aspect kicks in later when you're juggling multiple supernatural ladies, each with their own domination preferences. Voice acting ranges from surprisingly good to hilariously bad, but the moaning sounds authentic enough. Fair warning though - the grinding gets repetitive and some animations loop awkwardly.

Ash and Mila look all sweet at first glance, that couple you’d scroll past on Instagram and think “ok, too wholesome, next”, but the game just keeps poking holes in that image until you’re watching this nice engaged pair doing things in their apartment that should probably void the rental contract. You jump between the two, which I really liked, since seeing both sides of a relationship while they’re horny, stressed, and kinda dumb is way better than just watching some dude bang everything that moves. One minute Ash is trying to focus on work with one hand on the mouse and the other already creeping into his pants, staring at some AI-generated porn that looks a little too close to a girl he actually knows, and the next you’re Mila, half bored, half turned on, sitting on the couch in a loose shirt, phone in hand, thinking, “Do I tease him right now or make him beg later?” The game really leans into that quiet domestic sex vibe: she “accidentally” bends over for way too long while doing laundry, his eyes are stuck to her ass, you feel your own mouse drifting with his gaze, and yeah, of course you grab and grope because why the hell wouldn’t you.

When they finally lock the door to the bedroom, it’s not just a quick fade to black stuff. You get the slow build, the kind where Mila pushes Ash back on the bed and climbs on top, tits hanging right in his face while she grinds on him through his boxers, just to watch him squirm. She’s not shy about it either, grabbing his head and stuffing his face in her chest, soft skin and heavy breasts making it hard for him to breathe but he’s clearly not complaining. There’s a great little moment where she’s going down on him, spit and precum glistening, her fingers lazily stroking his balls while she looks up with this smug “I own you” expression, and you’re given the choice: let him cum on her tongue or force him to wait so she can feel it deep inside instead. When you pick the creampie option and watch her sink down on him, her ass bouncing in his lap, her pussy swallowing him in slow strokes until he finally gives in and fills her up, it actually feels earned, because the whole build-up was teasing, edging, little touches and looks across the room. And yeah, sometimes the faces look a bit too AI-smooth and perfect, and one of Mila’s idle poses keeps clipping her hand in a weird way that annoyed me way more than it should, but then you catch that shot of her lying on her back after sex, cum slowly leaking out of her, thighs shiny, fingers lightly rubbing herself again because she’s not quite done, and suddenly you don’t care about that tiny bug at all.