Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Game starts in that slow, sweaty way where you think it will just be training and grinding stats with your sensei, and then suddenly everything goes to hell. Two royal looking bitches crash into the dojo, collars and heels and smug faces, and you barely have time to breathe before you and your teacher are chained up like trophies. The story pretends to be about “rescuing your sensei” but most of the time it feels like you are the one who keeps getting captured, toyed with, pushed around. Which is good. And horrible. And good again.

Every new zone feels like walking into another woman’s fantasy of power. One world is all silk and red curtains, older women lounging around like bored queens, judging your body with lazy eyes while they decide if you’re going to be a servant or a toy. Another one is cold stone, iron cages, boots echoing on the floor while some empress type makes you kneel just to talk to her. The game really loves that moment where a woman leans close, voice soft, and tells you exactly how small and pathetic you are, then uses your dick anyway like it is royal property. If you like being in control, you’re going to hate this. Unless you don’t. I tried to play “dominant” the first run, choosing the most defiant answers, and the game almost laughed at me. One milf slapped my choices away with a single line and pinned my arms like they were decoration, rode me like she was proving a point, then called it “training” with this mock-sweet smile that actually made my stomach twist.

The 3D models are messy in a way I ended up kind of liking. Tits are big but not all perfectly symmetrical, faces change expression mid scene in slightly off timing, physics sometimes look like they are drunk, yet it all fits this weird dream feeling. There is one empress with this strict haircut and huge chest who leans too close during interrogation and her nipple clips through the armor a bit. It annoyed me, then suddenly I could not stop staring only there, reloading the scene in incognito Chrome like a complete idiot. The adventure bits are surprisingly not lazy: walking through ruined temples, desert palaces, corrupted gardens, picking choices, losing fights on purpose because you want to see what humiliating thing they do when you fail. Combat is not deep, you mash through and then you lose or win, but the punishment scenes carry it. One of my favorite moments was getting captured by a “priestess” who looked gentle at first, then strapped me to some ritual thing and edged me while reciting sacred lines about male obedience, only letting me cum when I begged in a way she liked. Another time, an older queen made me lick the dirt from her heel before she even allowed any nudity, which felt oddly more intense than the full-on sex that came later. Not everything hits: a couple of zones feel like filler, one character just loops the same “I own you” line until it loses bite, and the pacing around the middle drags because you walk too long between scenes. But then you meet another cold eyed ruler who treats your whole heroic quest like a joke, sits on your face like you are just furniture, and suddenly you forget you were annoyed five minutes ago. The game keeps doing that. It stumbles, then grabs your hair and pulls you right back into it.

Fog, flickering lights, shitty day already in the trash, and then this supermarket just locks itself around you like some horny haunted cage. The game throws you in as this regular guy who mostly wants to go home and jerk off in peace, but instead he gets stuck with strangers who slowly stop acting like normal people. At first it's just small stuff, people snapping, yelling, being rude. Then all that nice civilized mask peels off and you start watching them trade bodies for safety, protection, or just because they finally stop pretending they aren't horny, scared animals. It feels less like a porn game at the beginning and more like one of those tense horror stories, except here you're allowed to grab that tension with your dick too.

What I really liked is how the erotic stuff doesn't show up right away like some cheap porn ad. It crawls in. One moment you're arguing about food and supplies, next moment there's a girl offering you a blowjob in the back storage if you don't tell the others she stole something. The fog outside feels alive, and it kind of corrupts everyone slowly. People start saying "fuck it" and selling themselves for stupid reasons: "let me suck you off if you share your water", "I'll jerk you under the counter if you help me hide this body". It sounds dumb when I write it here, but in context it actually hits, because you've watched that character try to stay moral before. And since the game loves domination, you can push them pretty far if you lean into the darker choices. You can force that quiet nerdy woman to her knees right below the security cameras, or tell the exhausted cashier to use her mouth if she wants to stay in your group. I felt a bit bad. Then I reloaded and made it worse.

The 3D animated scenes are rough in a good way, like they were made by someone who actually likes porn, not some corporate bullshit. Blowjobs look wet, hands move on dicks in a very "I know what I'm doing" kind of rhythm, and there is this one scene in the frozen section where the girl is shivering from cold while giving you a handjob against the glass door. Her breath fogs up the window while outside that supernatural fog is swallowing the parking lot, and for a second it feels too on the nose, but I still replayed it three times. The prostitution angle is handled weirdly casual: one dude basically turns the supermarket into his personal brothel corner, and you can either compete with him for control or just use his "service system" for your own fun. Sometimes the horror part tries to be very serious, with people screaming and something nasty outside banging on the doors, but then there's a scene where you're getting your dick sucked behind the cereal aisle while a guy bleeds out a few meters away and nobody moves him. It shouldn't work. Somehow it does. The game has that vibe of Pornhub tab open on one side and some psychological thriller on Netflix on the other, and your brain keeps jumping between "this is fucked up" and "this is hot" without choosing one.

It’s messy in a way that feels uncomfortably real, like watching someone make the worst decisions possible and still finding yourself leaning forward, curious where her next excuse will lead. Yumi moves through the story with this almost painful self-awareness - she knows she’s being watched, both by the player and the game’s world, but she never really stops preening for it. The first time she opens her blouse just slightly too far during that office scene, there’s no sound cue, no dramatic pause - just the soft rustle of fabric and that flicker of doubt on her face. I swear, that moment hit harder than any of the explicit stuff later. The game tries to sell corruption as gradual, but honestly, it’s more about how easily she adjusts to attention. Maybe that’s what makes it so believable.

Then again, sometimes it overplays its hand. There’s this one animation loop during a handjob scene where her eyes cross weirdly, and it pulled me straight out of it; felt more comedic than erotic - like a reaction meme frozen mid-spasm. But that’s part of its charm, right? It’s too earnest to be slick. Even the blackmail thread with Thompson manages to feel less like some grand scheme and more like the world’s creepiest HR problem spiraling out of control. Which, depending on your mood, could be hot or just exhausting. And yet, when Yumi whispers something half-hearted before giving in, it lands. Maybe because the voice acting doesn’t try to sound sultry - it sounds confused, nervous, real.

The lighting deserves attention though. Somebody clearly obsessed over skin tone gradients because every sweat bead looks deliberate. The husband scenes are quieter, tender even, though they carry that slow dread of knowing he’s already losing her. I found myself irrationally annoyed by his tie color - gray, always gray - as if that dull choice symbolized everything wrong with him. Maybe that’s reading too much into it. Or maybe the game wanted that reaction. Anyway, it lingers. You finish a session and keep thinking about those tiny hesitations, how desire can look like guilt when the camera holds just a second too long.