You wake up in Sonic’s blue spiky body on this weirdly quiet island, with zero idea how you got there and way too much blood in the wrong place. The game doesn’t waste time pretending to be deep. You click around, you poke into random places, you pretend to care about the “mystery of the island”, but everybody knows why you’re actually here. Amy shows up early, all pink and clingy, and the writing leans hard into that obsessive fangirl vibe. One second she’s telling you that Tails is locked up in Chemical Plant, next second you’re already getting options that basically translate to “act like a horny hero” or “act like a slightly less horny hero”. It’s not subtle. I liked that. Or maybe I hated it. I’m not sure, I clicked everything anyway.

The best part for me is how it keeps pretending it’s a serious Sonic adventure with mother emerald, Eggman trying to make a new life form, world in danger, blah blah, while you’re clearly just building a harem of furries with big… personalities. Blaze shows up with this cool serious attitude, like she’s too good for horny nonsense, and ten clicks later you’re seeing her in a situation you definitely never saw on your old Sega emulator on your phone. Rouge? Completely untrustworthy, which is perfect, because every time she talks I’m waiting for her to stab me in the back or sit on my face. Sometimes both. There are dialog choices that act like you’re planning strategy, who to recruit, how to attack Eggman, but the “strategy” is mostly about which girl you want to flirt with first and how much you can push before the game rewards you with another explicit scene. And of course Tails is suffering offscreen while you’re getting handsy with everybody. Relatable, honestly. My love life also feels like I’m the side character locked in Chemical Plant.

The actual adult scenes are not shy at all. The game knows exactly what Sonic fans have been searching on incognito mode for years and just leans into it. You get Amy going from cute to desperate, Blaze trying to keep control and failing, Rouge being a total tease, and then you have Sticks, who feels like she escaped from some conspiracy subreddit and landed straight into porn. The tone jumps around all the time, sometimes goofy, sometimes surprisingly sweet, sometimes just straight up filthy for three clicks in a row. I laughed at a few lines that clearly were written by someone whose first language also isn’t English, then got turned on, then laughed again because a sex scene used the word “teamwork” like it was a fetish. The “plot” with Eggman and the mother emerald is only there to justify why all these hot animal girls are stuck together on one island and why you have an excuse to “form a team” by fucking your way through the cast. I kept telling myself I was chasing the emerald, but the only gems I actually cared about were attached to the girls’ chests. It’s messy, horny, a bit stupid, sometimes oddly romantic for three seconds before it goes back to raw hentai energy. Honestly, it feels like the exact kind of disaster a lonely Sonic fan would dream up after a bad day and too much internet. In a good way. Or a bad way. Whatever, I still clicked every option.

You die on a shitty first date and wake up staring at Rias’ tits. That’s basically the tone right away. No long build up, no “oh no what happened to me”, just you flat on your back, her in that tight outfit, looking down like she bought you on discount and is not sure if the product is broken or just horny. And guess what, you now belong to her and her little devil harem, which is honestly the most honest contract I’ve seen in a while.

The fun part is how the game treats the High School DxD cast. Rias is pure power fantasy and also total brat. One scene she sits on your lap, pushes your face in her boobs, calls you her “pet project”, and later acts like she did you a big favor by letting you cum on her stomach instead of just her hand. Akeno shows up like a walking BDSM quiz: “Question one, how much electricity can your balls take?” and then giggles like it’s afternoon tea. The teasing is constant. They drag you through the school halls in that classic uniform vibe, Asia bumping into you, apologizing with her big soft chest pressed in your face while Rias watches with this lazy smile, like she’s checking if you’ll stay loyal or just melt. Then you blink and suddenly Miki is pinning you to the couch, hips grinding, acting like “oh, I’m just helping Rias break you in.” There is a scene with toys that actually surprised me: Akeno pushing a vibrator along your shaft while Rias is sitting a bit away, legs crossed, pretending she’s only here to supervise, but her panties are getting wet and you can see the 3D jiggle when she moves wrong for half a second. On the other side you have Raynare and the others popping in with that monster girl edge, wings, claws, that cruel smile. Kalawarna treats you like office property: titfuck as a “performance review”, stroking your cock with those heavy boobs, asking “Are you loyal to your mistress?” while you’re trying not to blow early, because the game actually lets you fail that scene if you mess the timing. Which is funny and annoying at same time.

Some of the humor hits really hard. Like Asia walking in on Akeno tying you up, then trying to “help” by joining, but she only knows sweet missionary, so the whole thing turns into this bizarre combo of soft, loving vaginal sex from one side and cruel female domination from the other. The animated bits are honestly the best thing here. Rias bouncing slowly while riding you, red hair falling over your chest, then suddenly she leans forward and whispers something stupid like “You’re only alive because I wanted a toy” and you’re like, okay, step on me more. The camera sometimes lingers too long on feet for no reason, which is weird but also kind of on brand for DxD degeneracy. There is one scene with Mittelt where she pretends to be all innocent and then uses a toy on you with this little smug grin, and the only thing I hated is that it ended right when it got really nasty. Also, small complaint: they make you run around the school for dialogue triggers a bit too much when honestly I just want Rias to choke me with her thighs again. The adventure parts are there, clicking around, choosing who to serve first, but my brain kept going back to Akeno’s “quiz” and that one time Tsubasa just silently grinds on you in the clubroom like it’s no big deal. It’s messy, horny, sometimes stupid in a good way, and somehow the fact you died on a date fades away under a pile of big asses, bigger tits, and very smug devils who know exactly how much control they have over your dick.

Angels Academy feels like someone smashed a horny dating sim into a theology class, spilled porn all over the syllabus, then said “yeah, this is fine” and opened the doors anyway. You play this bratty guy who got shipped off to a religious “last chance” island because he got caught jerking off, which already tells you the tone: no one here is really holy, they just pretend until their pants are off. The whole place is this weird mix of strict uniforms, old stone halls, stained glass, and girls with asses and tits that do not belong in a place that talks about purity. One moment you’re nodding along while some pious girl talks about virtue, the next you are watching her blush hard while you stare a little too long when the wind lifts her skirt. The story gives you space to either play the slightly decent guy who teases, flirts, learns how to talk to different beliefs, or the absolute bastard who blackmails, corrupts and turns every “angel” into something far from heaven. It is mostly clicking around the campus, spying where you should not, poking at every shiny icon like a horny raccoon, and then watching what kind of trouble your mouth and your hands can start.

The fun comes from how dirty the game is willing to go while still pretending it has “faith” in the background. There is this high you get when you pull a girl away from the group after some prayer session, close the door behind you, and she goes from “God is watching” to sliding to her knees with your cock in her mouth, drool on her chin, eyes up like she is worshiping something else now. Some scenes play from your eyes only, so when you shove a shy virgin against a locker and just start groping her ass through the skirt, you see her breathing quicken literally in front of you. Or when you push a proud, bossy girl to strip on a balcony where people might look up at any second, and she hates you for making her do it but still spreads her legs wider because you told her to. The tone jumps a lot: one route feels like romance with slow teasing and handjobs in quiet dorm rooms, another is pure humiliation, like forcing some religious honor student to masturbate for you while she whispers prayers that get more and more broken. You can fool around with all kinds of girls, different skin tones, different religions, different kinks, and the game happily lets you be a controlling prick who uses secrets and blackmail to build a harem that looks holy on paper and filthy from your bed. I wish the UI didn’t hide some scenes behind weird skill checks that look like a spreadsheet, but whatever, it still feels good when that one choice you made three clicks ago suddenly turns into a sloppy blowjob in a confession booth with the candles flickering and her faith falling apart on your dick.

Westview Academy looks like one of those nice, clean elite schools at first glance, the kind you’d see in some boring brochure, but this thing is more like a horny sandbox with uniforms and homework as optional decoration. You drop in as this talented “golden boy” type, but honestly you feel more like the only sane guy in a place where every corridor hides a new way to get distracted from studying. Music rooms that turn into impromptu seduction stages, locker rooms where you’re trying to be a gentleman and your camera angle obviously isn’t, teachers with tight blouses pretending they don’t notice you staring at their tits, or they notice and like it way too much. The game just hands you all this and goes “ok, don’t fuck it up” while giving you a million ways to fuck it up.

It calls itself a dating sim, but half the time it feels like you’re just poking at the world to see who gets horny first. Point and click, yeah, but not the boring type where you’re hunting pixels for 10 minutes. Here you’re clicking on the shower door in the girls’ locker room, knowing damn well the MC “didn’t mean to peek”, sure, and then the camera lingers on wet skin, big asses and bigger tits pressed against foggy glass. There’s this one scene where you’re supposed to be helping a classmate rehearse a music piece, and she keeps “accidentally” dropping her pick, leaning over the desk so her shirt gapes open, and you can either play it cool or lean into the teasing and watch her go from shy virgin to full-on blowjob under the piano in like three choices. I liked that it pretends to be a romance and then suddenly you’re balls deep in the auditorium after hours. Very classy. Completely not classy at all.

The harem side is kinda sneaky. You don’t immediately realize you can juggle multiple paths until you find yourself promising a study date to the cute nerd, a “private lesson” to the stacked music teacher, and a gym session with the thick track girl on the same afternoon. Somehow the game lets it work, at least if you’re not a complete idiot with your choices. It feels good when they all start reacting to each other: a milf teacher gets a bit too touchy and the jealous classmate is peeking through the window, and suddenly it turns into voyeurism from both sides, with you deciding if you want to show off or stay subtle. I had one scene where the black PE coach catches you “stretching” with a girl who’s very naked except for her socks, and instead of a game over he joins the fun with this casual “you two need proper guidance”, and boom, interracial threesome that came out of nowhere. The humor is also kinda dumb, in a good way. One moment you’re laughing at some meme-tier joke scribbled on a classroom whiteboard, next moment you’re clicking through a strip tease in the music room, watching the MC pretend he’s interested in “technique” while her bra hits the floor. It’s horny, clumsy, romantic, trashy and sweet, sometimes in the same scene, and I still can’t forgive that one stupid minigame where I misclicked and missed an obvious blowjob route in the bathroom, but whatever, I’m still going back to see who else I can add to the bed before the semester ends.