Three words: messy, horny, sentimental. I didn’t expect that last one, but it creeps in between the loud moans and ridiculous crossover nonsense like a drunk confession you weren’t supposed to hear. The game throws you straight into a world where timelines are tangled beyond repair - Jaina Proudmoore flirting with Garrosh while Nami’s arguing with Momo Yaoyorozu about who gets “first turn.” It sounds like chaos, and yeah, it is. But there’s something oddly sincere in how it handles the whole “build a family” idea; one moment you’re pounding through dialogue boxes full of absurd dirty talk, and the next you’re watching a cutscene that’s almost tender, like the devs accidentally made an emotional arc while trying to code boobs that jiggle right.

I kept thinking about how the characters’ personalities bleed into the sex scenes. Himiko Toga’s manic giggle before she bites your lip actually startled me, even though I knew it was coming. And then there’s Raikou - her scenes feel like they were written by someone who once read a samurai poem and got too aroused to finish it. The pregnancy mechanic (yeah, it’s there, don’t act surprised) is handled with this bizarre mix of reverence and kink, like the devs can’t decide if they’re writing mythology or porn fanfiction. Maybe both. The transitions between worlds - one second you’re in Castlevania’s gothic hallways, next you’re in a Pokémon Center watching Nurse Joy do things that would get her license revoked - feel sloppy, but in a charming, “we made this on caffeine and lust” kind of way.

What really sticks though is how *alive* the characters seem when they’re not supposed to be. There’s this glitch where Vados keeps calling you “mortal” mid-thrust, and it became my favorite thing. I wish the sound mixing wasn’t so uneven; moans drown out the music half the time, but maybe that’s the point. It’s filthy, dumb, strangely heartfelt. I laughed, I groaned, I maybe felt something real for Ishtar. Or maybe that was just the post-nut clarity talking. Anyway, it’s a disaster. A beautiful, sticky disaster.