HeartProblems looks like one of those games you open just to “check it for five minutes” and then suddenly you’re clicking through scenes like a horny raccoon searching in the trash. On the surface it’s the usual porn VN setup: young guy, dead parents, moves in with uncle, house full of women that absolutely should not be as hot as they are. Milf energy in the kitchen, stacked bodies, tight clothes, that kind of slow-burn teasing where nothing “really” happens at first but your brain is already writing fanfic. Feels a bit like when you open X and see one “harmless” clip, then the algorithm decides you’re never seeing normal content again.

What sells it for me is how dirty it gets while pretending to be wholesome. You start as this awkward dude just walking around the house, talking, doing little choices that look innocent: help with the laundry, watch TV together on the couch, massage a sore back. The game loves to put you in those “accidental” skin contact situations. Hand brushing over that thick ass when you squeeze past in the hallway. Waking up with her on the sofa, your face basically in her tits, and she acts annoyed but does not move away. Corruption here is not some instant switch, it’s death by a thousand horny cuts. One day she slaps your hand for groping, later she just sighs, later she pretends not to notice, and then suddenly her leg is opening a bit more when you sit down. I caught myself saving before every dialogue just to try the slightly more perverted line and see if I can push one step further without getting shut down.

The 3D style is a bit uneven, which somehow fits. Some scenes look like they belong in a premium Patreon post, others feel like they were rendered while the dev was alt-tabbing to Telegram. Tits are huge, unapologetically so, bouncing and squeezed into outfits that clearly lost the fight with gravity. Asses too, like, “there is no way this character can find jeans in her size” big. Sometimes the proportions feel almost too much, but that might be exactly why it works. It reminds me of those cursed TikToks where the filter stretches everything and yet people in comments still type “link?” The humiliation angle hits when the MC gets caught peeking, or when one of them talks to him like he’s still a kid while his dick is obviously reacting in the shot. There’s a really fun scene where you get caught staring at her cleavage at breakfast, and the way she leans forward, half mocking you, half secretly enjoying your discomfort, is actually hotter than the later explicit stuff. And the mobile build is nice; playing this in bed with brightness low like some shameful little goblin feels exactly right. It’s weird, messy, sometimes clunky, and that’s kind of perfect for what it is.

Alright, let me tell you about this High School DxD parody that's been floating around - formerly called "Gremory Live" which honestly sounds like some weird livestreaming service but whatever. This thing is basically what happens when someone takes the DxD universe and goes "you know what this needs? More explicit fucking." And boy do they deliver on that promise.

The game throws you into the shoes of some lucky bastard who gets to bang his way through practically every female character from the series. We're talking Rias, Akeno, Koneko, Asia - hell, even Venelana Gremory is in there which is... interesting choices were made. The anal scenes with Kalawarna hit different though, not gonna lie. Xenovia's route gets surprisingly kinky too, way beyond what you'd expect from her character. Actually scratch that, knowing Xenovia it makes perfect sense. Yasaka shows up looking absolutely stacked and ready to drain your soul through your dick. The variety is insane - you've got devils, angels, fallen angels, all ready to get their holes stuffed by the protagonist who somehow has the stamina of a fucking machine.

What really gets me is how they managed to get Mittelt in there acting all tsundere while getting railed. Like girl, we both know why you're here. Grayfia maintains that cold exterior right up until she's moaning like a bitch in heat. The Kuroka scenes are pure feline energy - scratching, biting, the whole nine yards. Momo gets some surprisingly tender moments before things get absolutely filthy. Even Irina shows up twice apparently because why the hell not. Gabriel being all innocent until she's not is chef's kiss territory. Though I gotta say, some of the dialogue feels like it was translated by someone who learned English from hentai subtitles, but honestly that just adds to the charm. It's rough around the edges but when you're balls deep in Sona Sitri, technical polish becomes less important.

Last night I boot this thing up thinking, ok, one last jerk before YGGDRASIL dies, log off, go sleep. Instead the whole vibe goes full “what if your porn game suddenly took you serious”. You’re in Nazarick, sure, but it’s not just click scene, jerk, done. The NPC girls actually look at you like you’re a real bastard who walked into their story at the worst possible time. Enri asking you why your hands are shaking while you’re trying to act all cool, Albedo leaning over your shoulder way too close while you poke around menus that shouldn’t even exist anymore. It feels like when Chrome freezes on a hentai tab and suddenly you see your own reflection on the black screen. That kind of tiny shame but also “yeah ok I’m into this now”.

What got me was how the harem stuff doesn’t feel like a checklist. Albedo is still obsessed with you, but the game really lets you be a perv about it. You can push her into this “perfect wife but with breeding brainrot” angle, going for raw vaginal all the time, watching her panic when you don’t pull out, talking pregnancy like it’s just another buff. Then you slide over to Shalltear and she’s a whole different kind of crazy, like the devs asked “how horny can one vampire be before it breaks the engine” and then did not stop in time. I had this scene where she made me finish inside her on purpose in front of a mirror, then licked it off her thighs while complaining I didn’t push her hard enough. Next minute I’m in the same save file drinking tea with Evileye like some awkward virgin who only knows sex from porn. No smooth transition, just emotional whiplash in the best way.

The monster girl stuff is where it gets weird-good. Entoma and Solution are not “oh look cute bug/maid, press F to fuck”. Solution basically treats your dick like a thing to store in her body like any other item, calm as if she’s sorting inventory, and that was way hotter than I expected. Entoma’s voice vs face vs body combo messes with your brain, and the first time she asks if she can “keep some” of what you shoot in her, I just sat there like, excuse me what. Kyouhukou exists, I will say only that, and if you go down that tunnel you do it on your own risk. Interracial hits different here because it’s not just human and dark skin, it’s you and literally inhuman girls trying to understand why you get off from using them like this. At one point I had Lupusregina riding me raw in a storage room while Mare walked in and pretended he didn’t see anything, and the game lets that awkward silence breathe just long enough to make you feel like a total creep, then rewards you with another creampie option like it’s nothing. The sandbox part is janky as hell sometimes, you can wander around doing random prostitution gigs for cash you absolutely don’t need, but that messy structure kind of fits. Feels like being stuck in a dying MMO that decided it wants to be your porn-filled second life instead. You think you’ll just log out after one quick masturbation session, and the game quietly goes, “No you won’t, slut”, and you listen.

First thing you notice is how tall she is. Not just tall, but that kind of unfair, “I could crush your skull between my thighs and you’d say thank you” tall. The castle feels built for her, not for you. Doors are too big, ceilings too high, shadows too long. You start as this regular guy who somehow walks into the worst possible horny nightmare: a fucked up old mansion twisted into a playground for a giant vampire lady who looks a lot like a certain tall queen from that zombie game, but here she’s even more cruel, more smug, and yeah, way more horny. The whole place is like a maze of wet whispers and creaking floors. You move from corridor to corridor, waiting for that click of heels behind you, knowing that when she catches you, it’s not a game over. It’s a different kind of punishment.

What surprised me is how the game mixes horny and horror without trying to be subtle. One moment you’re creeping through some dark library, watching dust in the beam of a flickering lamp, and the next she’s got you pinned against a stone pillar with one massive hand around your throat, nails at your chin, staring down with that “you’re nothing but a toy” look. She teases the fact you’ve got these weird powers, like the world is broken and you’re some glitch that can slow her, shove things with your mind, twist reality a bit. Sometimes you use them to push a wardrobe in front of a door while she’s hunting you. Sometimes you fail and she catches you, drags you off, and then it turns into this obscene little trial where she decides if you get milked with her tits, jerked off lazily while she yawns, or just taken straight, hard, with your legs shaking and her laughing when you cum too fast. She treats creampies like trophies. There’s one scene in a ruined chapel where she rides you in a broken pew, stained glass behind her, and after you explode inside her, she stands up and you literally see it drip down her thighs while she calls you “useful.” I hated how much I liked that. I also hated that the inventory menu sound is too loud and it annoyed me every single time, and the game never fixes it.

The best part is that it often feels like you’re playing some fucked up dating sim from hell, where romance is twisted into this toxic, possessive thing. She’ll act gentle for ten seconds, stroking your hair, almost soft, then flip and use you like a living stress toy. You can try to play smart, pick dialogue that pushes back, use your powers to resist, but honestly, half the fun is failing and seeing her switch into full female domination mode. There’s a section in the dungeon where a monster girl variant of her shows up, more feral, claws scraping the floor, and if she catches you, she doesn’t bother pretending to be classy. She just tears open your pants and uses you. It’s rough, messy, and still weirdly romantic in this fucked up way, like you’re the one sane person stuck in a dystopian porn dream and the universe keeps asking if you’re sure you want to say no. The whole thing feels like a parody of that survival horror game everyone knows, but it leans hard into the “you’re prey and you kind of like it” angle. It’s ugly in some places, awkward in others, but when she bends over, tits spilling out of that dress, smirking because you can’t stop staring at her ass while ghosts whisper in the walls, all the weird edges suddenly make sense.