You boot this thing up on your phone, thinking it’s just some light tennis VN with cute guys, and suddenly you’re sitting there trying to pretend your screen isn’t full of flustered muscle twinks talking about “practice” in a way that is very much not about improving your serve. It starts all innocent, like, “oh, college team, gotta keep your grades up, gotta train,” and two choices later you’re in a locker room, half naked, pretending you’re interested in racket brands while your teammate is basically eye-fucking you. In a good way. Mostly.

The vibe is very “gay college drama if everyone was horny and bad at hiding it.” You’ve got that main guy energy where you’re kind of lost but also surprisingly good at reading when someone wants your dick in their mouth. Some routes push you into slow burn stuff, like you keep running into the same dude after class, he helps you with homework, the tension just keeps building, and at some point you’re not sure if you’re more excited about passing exams or finally getting his cock in your ass. Then another path is just, boom, you’re on the court after hours, it’s sweaty, he’s frustrated about missing a shot, you try to comfort him, and it turns into him pushing you against the fence, grinding on you through your shorts while you’re trying not to moan too loud because someone might walk by. I opened Reddit on my other screen once mid-scene and just sat there like, “yeah, okay, this game is way filthier than it pretends to be.” Not complaining. Well, I am, but not about that.

Sex-wise it goes all in. There are handjobs that feel like they drag out forever in a good way, the kind where the text really leans into the small stuff: the lube noise, the pre cum, the way his abs tense when you twist your wrist just right. Masturbation scenes where you’re alone in your dorm, headphones on, trying to be quiet while thinking about that practice match where your doubles partner pressed his chest into your back “to correct your posture.” Then some of the guys are very into putting it in the back, and the game does not shy away. One route has you bent over a desk, your shirt still half on, tennis bag on the floor, his fingers opening you up while he whispers things in your ear that I absolutely cannot repeat on Discord without getting a mod ping. It’s hot, but it can also be weirdly sweet, like they’ll rail you, then ask about your midterms. Tone whiplash, but in a fun way. And yeah, the characters are furry, which makes it even more of a trip the first time a fluffy tail curls around your thigh while someone’s pounding you from behind. I still can’t take one guy’s ears seriously when he’s talking about “going deeper” yet here we are. There’s this tiny UI thing that annoys me, some tap targets are way too small on mobile and it pisses me off every single time, and then I forget because the next CG is your teammate jerking you off in the showers while you both try not to slip on the tiles. Anyway. It’s messy, horny, kind of dumb in places, kind of tender in others, and it absolutely knows what you’re here for even when it pretends to care about tennis technique.

God Tier Academy feels like one of those horny power fantasy animes that got drunk, fell into a porn studio and just decided to stay there. You’re this poor bastard with basically broken magic, tossed into a school where every other student could fold you in half by sneezing too hard. Government has your balls in a vice, so you go anyway, pretending to be some kind of undercover badass, when in reality you’re walking plot armor with anxiety and a hard-on. The fun part is how fast things go from “I’m going to die in this hallway” to “I’m getting a sloppy blowjob from a girl who could vaporize a building.” It has that nice mix of fear and horny where your brain’s like: I might get murdered, but at least I’m getting my dick sucked first.

The whole academy is split into the usual ranks, S at the top, D at the bottom, and you’re basically not even on the list. That gives you a good excuse to be the punching bag, the pervy therapist, and the accidental harem magnet at the same time. One moment you’re stuck in a training class, trying not to get turned into a stain on the wall during a mock battle, then after class the same girl who almost burned your face off is sitting on your lap in a locker room, tongue in your mouth, your hand under her skirt, and she’s grinding her huge ass on you like that was the plan from the beginning. The game loves going from serious political shit, like shady higher-ups and secret missions, to you balls deep in some monster girl with tentacles coiling around your legs while she milks you from both ends. And it doesn’t pretend to be classy about it. There’s ahegao faces, messy creampies, spit strings during blowjobs, cum leaking out on the sheets, the whole thing. The 3D look is pretty solid on mobile too, even if sometimes a boob jiggle looks a bit rubbery, but honestly your brain is not in “animation critique mode” when you’re watching a double penetration scene on your phone in bed.

What hit me more than I expected is that it tries to be funny and romantic in between all the filth, and somehow doesn’t completely fail. You’ll be sitting in a cafeteria scene, chatting with this girl who acts all tsundere and smug, teasing you in front of everyone, foot rubbing against your crotch under the table like she’s bored out of her mind. Then later, same girl is whining with an ahegao face while you fuck her from behind in a dark classroom, her tits slapping against the desk, moaning your fake name like she’ll die without your cock. There’s group scenes where two or three girls share you and talk shit to each other mid-oral, like “you missed a spot” while they swap your dick between mouths, and then someone decides to shove a finger in your ass just to see you twitch. There’s also some pretty rough stuff, blood, violence, magic ripping monsters apart, so it leans into horror more than you’d expect from a game where half the UI time you’re just tapping through flirting. And, yeah, the gay content is there too, not some tiny checkbox scene, but actual dude-on-dude heat if you go for it, which I kind of didn’t plan at first, then suddenly I’m watching the MC on his knees sucking off a guy who just saved his life, because of course gratitude scenes get sexual in this place. The story pretends to be about politics and survival, but the real loop is: do mission, almost die, go back to dorm, get a handjob, maybe an anal scene in the shower if you picked the right options, wake up to more drama, repeat. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy, and weirdly relaxing, like watching a long-running lewd anime on your phone where every episode ends with somebody getting filled, sometimes by monsters, sometimes by classmates, sometimes by more than one at once.

First thing you notice is how tall she is. Not just tall, but that kind of unfair, “I could crush your skull between my thighs and you’d say thank you” tall. The castle feels built for her, not for you. Doors are too big, ceilings too high, shadows too long. You start as this regular guy who somehow walks into the worst possible horny nightmare: a fucked up old mansion twisted into a playground for a giant vampire lady who looks a lot like a certain tall queen from that zombie game, but here she’s even more cruel, more smug, and yeah, way more horny. The whole place is like a maze of wet whispers and creaking floors. You move from corridor to corridor, waiting for that click of heels behind you, knowing that when she catches you, it’s not a game over. It’s a different kind of punishment.

What surprised me is how the game mixes horny and horror without trying to be subtle. One moment you’re creeping through some dark library, watching dust in the beam of a flickering lamp, and the next she’s got you pinned against a stone pillar with one massive hand around your throat, nails at your chin, staring down with that “you’re nothing but a toy” look. She teases the fact you’ve got these weird powers, like the world is broken and you’re some glitch that can slow her, shove things with your mind, twist reality a bit. Sometimes you use them to push a wardrobe in front of a door while she’s hunting you. Sometimes you fail and she catches you, drags you off, and then it turns into this obscene little trial where she decides if you get milked with her tits, jerked off lazily while she yawns, or just taken straight, hard, with your legs shaking and her laughing when you cum too fast. She treats creampies like trophies. There’s one scene in a ruined chapel where she rides you in a broken pew, stained glass behind her, and after you explode inside her, she stands up and you literally see it drip down her thighs while she calls you “useful.” I hated how much I liked that. I also hated that the inventory menu sound is too loud and it annoyed me every single time, and the game never fixes it.

The best part is that it often feels like you’re playing some fucked up dating sim from hell, where romance is twisted into this toxic, possessive thing. She’ll act gentle for ten seconds, stroking your hair, almost soft, then flip and use you like a living stress toy. You can try to play smart, pick dialogue that pushes back, use your powers to resist, but honestly, half the fun is failing and seeing her switch into full female domination mode. There’s a section in the dungeon where a monster girl variant of her shows up, more feral, claws scraping the floor, and if she catches you, she doesn’t bother pretending to be classy. She just tears open your pants and uses you. It’s rough, messy, and still weirdly romantic in this fucked up way, like you’re the one sane person stuck in a dystopian porn dream and the universe keeps asking if you’re sure you want to say no. The whole thing feels like a parody of that survival horror game everyone knows, but it leans hard into the “you’re prey and you kind of like it” angle. It’s ugly in some places, awkward in others, but when she bends over, tits spilling out of that dress, smirking because you can’t stop staring at her ass while ghosts whisper in the walls, all the weird edges suddenly make sense.

Last night I boot this thing up thinking, ok, one last jerk before YGGDRASIL dies, log off, go sleep. Instead the whole vibe goes full “what if your porn game suddenly took you serious”. You’re in Nazarick, sure, but it’s not just click scene, jerk, done. The NPC girls actually look at you like you’re a real bastard who walked into their story at the worst possible time. Enri asking you why your hands are shaking while you’re trying to act all cool, Albedo leaning over your shoulder way too close while you poke around menus that shouldn’t even exist anymore. It feels like when Chrome freezes on a hentai tab and suddenly you see your own reflection on the black screen. That kind of tiny shame but also “yeah ok I’m into this now”.

What got me was how the harem stuff doesn’t feel like a checklist. Albedo is still obsessed with you, but the game really lets you be a perv about it. You can push her into this “perfect wife but with breeding brainrot” angle, going for raw vaginal all the time, watching her panic when you don’t pull out, talking pregnancy like it’s just another buff. Then you slide over to Shalltear and she’s a whole different kind of crazy, like the devs asked “how horny can one vampire be before it breaks the engine” and then did not stop in time. I had this scene where she made me finish inside her on purpose in front of a mirror, then licked it off her thighs while complaining I didn’t push her hard enough. Next minute I’m in the same save file drinking tea with Evileye like some awkward virgin who only knows sex from porn. No smooth transition, just emotional whiplash in the best way.

The monster girl stuff is where it gets weird-good. Entoma and Solution are not “oh look cute bug/maid, press F to fuck”. Solution basically treats your dick like a thing to store in her body like any other item, calm as if she’s sorting inventory, and that was way hotter than I expected. Entoma’s voice vs face vs body combo messes with your brain, and the first time she asks if she can “keep some” of what you shoot in her, I just sat there like, excuse me what. Kyouhukou exists, I will say only that, and if you go down that tunnel you do it on your own risk. Interracial hits different here because it’s not just human and dark skin, it’s you and literally inhuman girls trying to understand why you get off from using them like this. At one point I had Lupusregina riding me raw in a storage room while Mare walked in and pretended he didn’t see anything, and the game lets that awkward silence breathe just long enough to make you feel like a total creep, then rewards you with another creampie option like it’s nothing. The sandbox part is janky as hell sometimes, you can wander around doing random prostitution gigs for cash you absolutely don’t need, but that messy structure kind of fits. Feels like being stuck in a dying MMO that decided it wants to be your porn-filled second life instead. You think you’ll just log out after one quick masturbation session, and the game quietly goes, “No you won’t, slut”, and you listen.