This thing feels like someone took a horny RWBY Discord server chat, smashed it into Ren’Py, and hit “fuck it, good enough.” And weirdly, that’s kinda the charm. You’re not dealing with slick corporate porn here. It’s Ruby and Cardin in a messy little fantasy romance that should not work at all, but you sit there clicking like a raccoon in a trash can anyway. The writing swings all over the place: sometimes it’s sweet “shy girl with her first real crush,” sometimes it’s “oh, Cardin is absolutely rearranging her inside that Beacon dorm bed” and the text really leans into it, spelling out every wet sound like the dev had Pornhub open on one monitor and Ren’Py on the other. There’s this one scene where Ruby is trying to be all serious about her feelings and within like ten lines she is on her knees, drool on her chin, begging him not to stop. That tonal whiplash? Honestly felt like some of the hookups at my events. One moment deep emotional talk, next moment someone is grinding on a folding chair.

The pacing is like a half-drunk house party where the snacks run out but the booze doesn’t. Early on, the story toys with the whole “is this romance or is this just Cardin using her” thing, and if you know RWBY canon you keep going “no way she’d fall for this guy.” And then you click through a few more screens and she’s pressed against the wall, panties around her thigh, gasping his name with that kind of desperate little whine that makes you shift in your chair. The moaning audio carries more weight than it should. It’s not studio quality, you can literally hear that slight home-recording vibe, but when Ruby starts letting out those shaky little cries and the text mentions her legs trembling while he pushes in deeper, it suddenly feels way more obscene than it has any right to be. There’s this bed scene where she’s trying to keep quiet, biting into the pillow, and the game keeps flipping between her thoughts about how wrong it is and then describing exactly how her body is clenching around him. Honestly, kind of hot in that “this is almost too personal” way, even if a couple of lines sound like they came from a Wattpad account that got banned three times.

And yet, for every filthy detail that hits just right, there’s a tiny thing that pokes your brain. The UI is there, it functions, but that textbox color? I keep thinking about it and I wish it was different, even if it never will be. Some lines feel like the dev just let an AI autocomplete, like mid-sex Ruby suddenly drops a weirdly formal line that nobody with a dick inside them would say. The parody angle shows up mostly in how off-brand everything feels, like this is Beacon in some horny parallel universe where everyone’s moral compass is slightly broken. Still, when Cardin grabs her by the hips and slams into her from behind, making her yelp and stutter through his name, it absolutely sells the fantasy. There’s a moment where she’s sore, cheeks flushed, hair all messy, but still climbing back onto his lap because she “needs it again” even though she can barely sit. That kind of detail feels oddly specific, like the dev was remembering something way too clearly. It’s clumsy, shameless, way too focused on this one wrong-but-right ship, and somehow that makes it hit harder than it should. I closed the tab once, then opened it again on Chrome because I wanted to replay that one corridor scene where he corners her and murmurs in her ear while she tries not to moan loud enough for teammates to hear. I’m not proud of that. But I’m also not going to pretend it didn’t happen.

New town, new job, new giant horny mess. The whole thing starts with you dragging your tired ass into this weirdly serious pharma company, Palmer-Pharma, while every single woman around you looks like she escaped from a “thick and dangerous” catalog. The boss wants to see you on Sunday, which already screams “this is not about paperwork, honey,” your phone is gone, you barely know where you sleep tonight, and then you meet your landlady with hips that could cause traffic accidents. Game’s like: welcome, you are stressed, lost, and also surrounded by big tits and asses that do not believe in subtlety. Real HR problem, but in a fun way.

Once you start moving around town, it turns into this slow, horny tour of every curvy grown woman in a ten-mile radius. None of that barely-legal nonsense, these are women who pay bills, remember your schedule, and still somehow have time to pin you to the sofa and jerk you off while complaining about their ex. One moment you’re talking about lab procedures with the assistant who pretends to be all serious, glasses and clipboard, and next thing, she’s teasing you with that “oh, is that for me?” look, brushing her hand over your bulge and pretending it’s an accident. The receptionist? She switches from snarky gatekeeper to “I locked the door, now sit on this chair and don’t talk” while she kneels between your legs and takes her sweet time with her mouth. And she does that thing where she stops right before you cum, smiles, then goes back like she’s tasting wine. That detail annoyed me in the best way and I swear I’m still mad about it. I’m also still thinking about that barmaid, the one who hands you a drink, leans over the counter with her huge boobs almost falling out, and spends five minutes just playing with your self-control. Like, she’ll casually press her soft belly against you on the way past, whisper something filthy in your ear, then pretend she said nothing. The scenes go from handjobs on sagging couches, lazy morning oral with messy hair and no makeup, to hard, slow vaginal sex where the camera really loves the jiggle, the folds, the way big asses move when you’re deep inside. It’s not shy about any of it. There are choices everywhere, which you will totally forget about because your brain has turned into “which thick woman do I fuck today” mode, but those choices actually branch out into different scenes and endings, so your horny indecision has consequences. Also, I keep thinking about that one tiny animation where the landlady adjusts her top after you finish on her chest, like she gives this little “ugh, men” smile, wipes it with a tissue, and I spent far too long replaying that instead of doing literally anything useful. Anyway. The whole thing feels like you got dropped into a town where every chubby, soft, mature woman secretly wants to either mother you a bit, or ride you until you forget your name, sometimes both in the same scene, and yes, it’s a mess, but it’s my kind of mess.