Vault Wanderer is one of those horny little parody projects that feels like it started as a shitpost between friends on Discord and somehow became an actual game. You play this guy who crawls out of a comfy underground vault into a wasteland that is less about radiation and more about who is fucking who, and with what. The whole thing mixes classic turn based RPG combat with stupid jokes and very explicit scenes that just kind of slam into you out of nowhere. One second you are clicking through some goofy dialogue about bottle caps, the next you are watching a futa raider get her dick sucked in a surprisingly long animated loop while your character pretends he is not into it. The game loves voyeurism like crazy. Almost every location has some “oops I walked in on them” moment, except it is never really an accident and everybody is cool with you standing in the corner jerking off. Or pretending to “research.” The writing knows exactly what it is doing: it makes fun of the wasteland clichés, then uses the same clichés to justify a harem route where every big tits, big ass, wrong-race-for-this-town waifu somehow ends up in your camp.

What surprised me most is how messy but confident the sandbox structure is. You are just dropped on the surface with this point and click map and told to explore, and the game absolutely does not care if you go straight to a lesbian futa bar and stall your “main quest” for two hours doing nothing except footjobs and blowjobs in different outfits. There is real RPG stuff happening in the background: stats, turn based fights, random encounters that sometimes end in actual combat and sometimes turn straight into oral sex scenes if you pick the horny dialogue option. I lost one fight because I was too distracted watching the enemy’s boobs bounce in the attack animation, which is a stupid reason to reload, but here we are. The art is simple 2D CG but the animations have just enough motion to make the scenes feel alive without turning into weird rubber people. Some of the interracial setups are actually hot, then the game drops a joke so bad it short circuits the mood and you kind of hate it for ten seconds, until the next harem scene where three girls are roleplaying “capturing” you and you forget you were mad. The mobile support is oddly good too; I tried it on my phone while half-slouching on the couch with Chrome open and it ran smoother than some serious games on Steam. Sometimes the text spacing gets fucked on smaller screens and nobody bothered to fix it, which annoyed me for like a full minute while I was trying to read a masturbation scene and the last line wrapped in a stupid way, and then I clicked next and forgot. That is basically the whole vibe here: horny, rough around edges, a little broken, but when the wasteland mommy with huge boobs kneels down for oral and the camera zooms in just right, your brain stops caring about polish completely.

You start off thinking it’s just another fantasy visual novel with tits and dragons, right? Then it hits you - this thing actually *wants* you to care about who you fuck. You’re tossed into this castle, all dressed up like some half-hero, half-sacrifice, and the queen’s gaze feels like she’s undressing your soul. The choices come fast, and they’re not just “pick girl A or girl B.” They twist your story, they mess with your head. One moment you’re flirting with a sly elf who keeps her armor half-open just to tease you, the next you’re in a candlelit chamber, her breath hot on your neck, whispering something that sounds like a spell but feels like a promise.

And then the dragon part - holy hell. It’s not just a pet or a mount; it’s a whole mood. The game plays with that line between power and surrender, and it’s filthy in the best way. There’s a scene (you’ll know it when you get there) where you’re supposed to “bond” with your dragon, and it’s dripping with tension. The camera lingers, the sound design goes low and throaty, and suddenly you’re not sure if you’re taming the beast or if it’s taming you. The lesbian routes? Way more tender than I expected, but still raw - like two warriors trying to outlast each other in bed, both refusing to be the first to beg.

It’s not perfect. Some transitions feel like the devs got distracted halfway through animating a kiss, and the dialogue sometimes sounds like it was written by someone who’s never actually seen a naked person. But then it’ll throw a line at you that just *clicks*, and you forget the rough edges. It’s messy, horny, weirdly emotional. Like a fever dream that smells of sweat and dragonfire. You’ll probably finish it once, swear you’re done, then start again just to see what happens if you say yes to the queen this time.

You start out as this incubus kid that somehow survived a holy massacre, raised by the same warrior chick who was supposed to kill you. By the time the game actually lets you move around, you’re not some crying baby demon, you’re a horny adult with way too much divine “blessing” in your blood and way too much curiosity. The whole world basically hates what you are, but every time someone wants to punish you, it turns into some wild sex scene instead of a sermon. It’s like: “you are a danger to the races” and then two minutes later you’ve got her on her knees, drooling on your cock, trying to keep her pride while you push her head all the way down and watch her mascara die. Most scenes lock you into first-person and you really feel like you’re the one making these women betray their gods, their husbands, their own rules. Sometimes it feels wrong. Then you click the next option and make it worse on purpose.

One of my favorite bits was with this “saint” MILF, all holy voice and fake gentle eyes, who’s supposed to check your purity or something. You can play it respectful, but if you lean into the maledom side, you put her slowly on her back, lift that fancy robe, and just keep pushing until her halo basically falls off. The way her face breaks into full ahegao while she still tries to quote holy lines is ridiculous and hot in a stupid way. And the game doesn’t just jump cut to orgasms, it lets you watch her go from “I’m in control” to “I’m addicted” while you decide if you finish in her mouth, her pussy, her ass, or all of them over several scenes. The creampie angles are extra mean here, because the camera stays close, like it’s trying to make you stare at how deep you’re stuffing these women. Then suddenly you have a foursome in a temple with a dark-skinned warrior, a nervous elf, the saint and your “mom” figure watching from the shadows, and someone is on your cock, someone is riding your face, and someone is licking the other girl’s ass like this is normal religious practice. It’s messy and crowded and kind of confusing to track who’s moaning what, but it hits.

I streamed a censored version of one route on Chaturbate and people in chat kept spamming “this foot scene is criminal” during the part where a proud knight gets forced to kneel and clean you with her tongue. That footjob starts almost as humiliation, like she doesn’t even want to look you in the eyes, and then she begins pressing your shaft between her soles, stroking slow, trying to pretend she isn’t into it. Later, you catch that same girl secretly watching you fuck her squadmate from behind through a half-open door, hand in her panties, and you get a little voyeurism moment where you decide if you drag her inside or keep “performing” for her. There’s also this threesome with your demon side getting tested: one warrior girl, one soft mage, both different races, both on your bed, taking turns sucking you while you finger the other. At some point you just grab the mage’s hair, shove her down, and the other girl sits on your face, grinding so hard you almost forget which one you’re supposed to dominate. The toys show up later, when they try to “rehabilitate” you and end up strapping stuff to you and themselves, trying roleplay scenes that obviously backfire. There’s a ridiculously hot lesbian detour in the barracks too, where two women start “training” each other with a toy, and you decide if you step in or just watch them ride each other raw until they can barely talk. It’s messy, horny, sometimes awkward, sometimes way too much, like someone smashed together a dark fantasy war story and a Pornhub search history, but it sticks in your head for the wrong reasons and the right ones at the same time.

Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.