You know that feeling when you’re scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind, and you start thinking “yeah, I kinda wanna flirt with half the anime multiverse right now”? This game leans right into that. It’s a mobile-style dating sim where your whole job is to talk, tease, and slowly push your way from cute banter to full-on filthy with a bunch of familiar faces. One minute you’re trying to keep your shit together while Tsunade leans in with those ridiculous tits, the next you’re trading playful jabs with Marin Kitagawa like she’s your chaotic cosplay girlfriend who absolutely knows she’s out of your league. It’s very much a “pick a waifu, poke at her until she cracks, then enjoy the view” setup. You answer questions, pick dialog options, earn points when you say the thing she wants to hear, and each correct move nudges the relationship from “hi, senpai” to “okay, pull your dick out already.”

What I like is how the game doesn’t pretend it’s some deep, tragic romance. It pretends for like 10 seconds, then goes straight into horny nerd brain. You start with small talk, a bit of teasing, then she starts hinting, and once you’ve stacked enough points, the clothes start vanishing. One date you’re laughing with Aqua while she’s being useless and bratty, the next date she’s grinding in your lap and calling you a pervert like it’s your fault. Rias acts all composed, polite, almost royal, but you keep pushing the right answers and suddenly you’re getting your cock squeezed between those huge tits she pretends are a burden. There are titfucks, messy handjobs, slow teasing oral where she holds eye contact like she wants to watch you lose control, the usual “oops I sat on it” vaginal sex, and yeah, anal too if you unlock the right scenes. Some girls treat it as a reward, some as a challenge, some as “shut up and enjoy it.” I had this moment with a certain dragon milf where she’s bouncing on top of me with that massive ass, smiling like she’s finally found a new toy, and I genuinely forgot to click the next line because I was too busy staring.

It’s not all straight either, which is nice. You’ve got traps like Astolfo and Felix in the mix, cute and flirty and way too confident, and if you’re into that, the game doesn’t tiptoe around it. They flirt hard, they suck you off like they’ve practiced, they ride you like they’re trying to prove something. Some routes feel more romantic, like a soft slow-burn with a girl like Rem, where you actually care a bit about the conversation before you end up buried inside her, and some are pure chaos, like Darkness begging you to use her like a toy while you’re thinking “ok, I’m the degenerate here but wow.” It’s kinda funny how sometimes the writing hits this surprisingly sweet mood, then two screens later you’re balls-deep and watching a loop of her moaning and drooling, legs shaking. There’s a harem vibe too once you realize just how many characters are waiting for you. Best way to enjoy it? Don’t rush. Take a character, answer her correctly, watch her shift from “oh, we’re just talking” to “fuck me harder” and let yourself get sucked into each scene. Screenshot the faces you like, replay the ones that make you twitch, and let the game do what it clearly wants to do: melt your brain in the dirtiest, laziest way possible.

Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Guy just wants to chill at home with his phone, scroll a bit of Twitter, maybe lose another match in Clash Royale, and then suddenly this hot red-eyed assassin-mom type walks into his life and basically says: “I need a fake boyfriend. I’ll do anything.” The game doesn’t even pretend to be subtle about it. One second you’re some random dude, the next you’re staring at this Spy x Family parody version of Yor who is way too polite, way too shy, and somehow also ready to sleep with you to keep her cover. It’s like the anime if someone removed the brakes, the kid, the husband, and left only horny awkward tension.

The whole thing runs as a sandbox dating sim on your phone, so it kind of feels like you’re texting and hanging out with her instead of being dragged through a long VN script. You tap around the apartment, poke at her routines, pick dumb dialogue options just to see if she blushes or offers to “repay” you again for something tiny, like buying her a coffee. Sometimes you choose a line that looks innocent, and suddenly you’re in a sex scene where she’s on top, trying way too hard to act like a normal girlfriend while riding you raw. Fully animated, by the way, with this slightly janky 3D look that somehow makes it hotter because it feels like a bootleg porn clip your friend sent on Telegram. Her body language looks a bit off in some loops, but then her tits bounce in just the right moment and your brain stops caring.

What I liked is how the “romance” and the porn keep tripping over each other. You can play the nice supportive partner who helps her practice her cover story, teaches her how to act more casual in public, asks about her missions, all that. She gets clingy, genuinely tender, apologizes for using you, kisses you like she actually loves you. And out of nowhere she’ll whisper something like, “I must satisfy my boyfriend, right?” and you’re back in vaginal sex with her moaning like she’s trying not to alert the neighbors. There are little choices where you decide if you push her harder, treat her more like a sex tool, or try to protect her, and the vibe in the scenes shifts. Same bed, different Yor. One path, she begs for your cum because she’s terrified to lose the fake relationship; on another, she’s more confident, still goofy, still stabbing dudes on the side, but she’s the one pulling you by the collar and using your cock to unwind after a mission.

The spy part is barely there, just small dialogue lines and some outfits, but somehow that makes it funnier. She shows up in lingerie that looks like someone tried to design “stealth underwear” in Photoshop at 3% opacity. There’s this one moment where you come home, she’s in an apron cooking, and if you play it right, it goes from domestic slice-of-life to her bending over the counter with cum dripping down her thighs while she insists dinner will not get cold. I got annoyed that you can’t poke at every single background object, like there’s a knife set just begging for some spy roleplay and the game does nothing with it, but I kept tapping it anyway like a monkey. Also, the mobile interface is pretty good until your thumb hits the skip button by accident in the middle of a really good loop and you want to scream, but whatever. You reload, pick a slightly different choice, and suddenly she reacts another way, blushes deeper, or starts calling you by some cheesy petname that somehow works. It’s messy, horny, a bit trashy in the best way, like watching a fan-made porn edit of Yor that suddenly remembers it can let you decide what she does next.

Street brawls and horny brain rot in one place, that is basically this thing. You’re running around a city that feels like somebody mixed a fighting tournament with Pornhub search history, and then just said “yeah, that’s fine” and left it like that. One moment you’re throwing hands with Chun-Li, trying not to stare at her thighs for too long, next moment you’re balls deep in her, watching her go full ahegao while she still talks shit like she’s winning the match. It’s not subtle at all. Juri Han shows up and the whole vibe switches from “street justice” to “I might actually be her pet now and that’s okay”. She’ll stomp you, choke you a bit, that lazy evil grin on her face, then ride you until you forget what your health bar looked like. Half the time it feels less like a normal game and more like some bizarre therapy session where all your kinks get dragged out one by one and no one pretends to be innocent.

What got me hooked was how the fights never feel separate from the sex. You start a match thinking “ok, normal 1v1, let’s try some combos”, and fifteen clicks later you’re pinning Lucia Morgan against a wall in some alley, her uniform half-open, sweat and cum everywhere, the “victory” screen basically being her legs shaking while you give her a creampie. There is this one scene with Cammy where you lose on purpose, just to see what happens, and instead of a boring game over she flips you, takes control, rides your face and makes you cum with nothing but her feet. It’s that kind of game where you think you’re the tough male protagonist, then a woman like A.K.I. grinds her heel on your chest, poisons you, and uses you like a toy while you’re barely conscious, and your brain goes, “yeah ok, I guess I’m into that now”. And it doesn’t stop at quick fucks either, there is romance woven in, that weird tender moment after all the filth where someone like Manon or Lily Hawk leans in, kisses you slow, and talks about wanting your child, then later you see her tits swollen, pregnant, still ready to ride you again before the next fight. The game is messy, horny, animated in all the right ways, a mix of big asses, creampies, footjobs and domination, and sometimes you wish the story was less all over the place, but honestly that chaos kind of fits. It feels like scrolling through three different porn tabs and a fighting game wiki at the same time, except here it all somehow clicks together and leaves you way more drained than you planned to be.