Vacation porn game brain-rot really hits different when you’re trying to sneak a quick fap between putting laundry in the dryer and yelling at a kid to please stop sticking LEGO in the fan. This thing drops you in a fancy Hawaii hotel where everyone is way too hot, way too horny, and somehow no one is screaming about school lunches. You make your own girl at the start, and I spent way too long swapping hairstyles and bikinis instead of actually getting railed. It feels a bit like scrolling Instagram filters while secretly thinking “yeah, I’d let that guy choke me a little.” You pick hair, outfits, vibe, and then suddenly you’re that girl who actually went on vacation instead of just saving travel TikToks she’ll never use. The hotel itself is like a horny labyrinth. Lobby, pool, bar, balcony, little side walks near the beach, and it’s all just excuses to bump into one of the love interests and pretend you’re here for “romance” when you’re really waiting to see who’s gonna pin you to the bed first.

Each route starts all sweet and “oh, aloha, welcome to the resort” and very quickly turns into “okay, who’s on top and who’s begging.” There’s a soft one who looks like he’d write you poems, except the moment you give him a little green light he’s grabbing your wrists and telling you how good girls behave. Another one has that smug vibe, like a guy who knows exactly how wet he’s making you just by leaning a bit closer than normal while he “teaches” you something pointless. Little teasing lines like “You’re blushing. Are you thinking about what I could do to you later?” and I’m just here trying to tap choices with a thumb that still has dish soap on it. It sells that slow burn pretty well: lingering eye contact at the bar, accidental thigh touch at dinner, your character’s inner thoughts getting dirtier with every scene. Then it flips and she’s the one taking control, pushing him back on the bed, riding his face like she owns the suite. Halfway through one scene at the balcony I actually forgot the potatoes in the oven, because I really needed to see if she was going to make him beg or if he’d snap and pin her against the rail. She makes him wait. Makes you wait too. Edge city. Honestly hot as hell.

What I liked is how your choices don’t just give “good ending / bad ending” stuff. You lean into being a brat, you get different lines, different positions, different ways they talk to you. Say the wrong thing and the guy you thought would be a total dom suddenly gets shy and you end up on top, guiding his hands, teaching him how you want your pussy touched. Say the bold thing and the mood changes: voice drops, he moves closer, hand on your neck, asking if you really thought you could tease him and walk away. There’s one route where your girl starts all sweet and respectful, then bit by bit realizes she likes holding the power. She’s the one telling him when he’s allowed to come, whispering in his ear, making him stay hard while she grinds and pulls his hair. I wish the text box wasn’t so damn tiny, I keep scrolling back like an idiot because my thumb presses the wrong choice, and it annoys me every single time. Still kept playing. The romantic parts hit, then they throw in dirty talk that’d make a nun drop her rosary, then go back to kissing in the rain like it’s a drama show. Some endings are all cuddly and stars in the sky, others have you getting fucked raw on hotel sheets with your legs shaking and him telling you exactly how many times you already came. And in between all that, I’m just pausing to check if the kids are still on YouTube and not behind me reading over my shoulder. This game is way too horny for the amount of towels I’m folding.

Cold city, warm bodies, messy feelings. That’s kind of the vibe here. You’ve got this guy who had his whole world ripped apart, parents straight up slaughtered in a way that makes you go “ok, that’s fucked,” and then the game throws him into this snowy Christmas setup where the lights are pretty, the music is cozy, and everyone’s either horny, suspicious, or both. It feels wrong and right at the same time. One minute you’re walking through streets with holiday decorations, talking about trauma and revenge, next minute you’re in a cramped bedroom with a woman twice your age sitting way too close, her tits basically spilling out of her sweater while she pretends she just wants to “comfort” you. Sure, lady. Totally about feelings.

What I liked is how the romance and the sex don’t feel like two different games glued together. You flirt, you joke, you pick answers that feel stupidly small, and then suddenly she’s pushing you down on the couch, sliding her hand under your jeans like it was inevitable. There was this one scene where you’re alone with a stacked MILF who’s been low-key teasing you since the start. She puts on this fake innocent act, complains she’s “so cold,” then grabs your hand and presses it right between her thighs through thin leggings. You can see the outline, you feel the heat, and she just looks at you like “go on, be a man.” When she finally wraps her fingers around your dick, moving slow at first, all while talking in that soft voice about how “you’ve suffered so much,” it’s perverted comfort porn and honestly it hits. Then later she’s riding you, big ass bouncing, tits smacking together, moaning your name while you’re buried deep inside her, and the game doesn’t shy away from the creampie. It shows everything. Thick, dripping, raw. No fade to black.

Not everything is cozy and porn-y though. Some of the girls are trouble. There’s this darker part where you’re dealing with prostitution in the back streets, snow turning dirty, neon lights flickering, and the girls there aren’t just cute NPCs. One of them, with darker skin and a ridiculous ass, starts out all business, talking price, acting tough. Then you push a bit, show you actually give a damn, and her walls come down in this awkward way that feels more real than it should in a porn game. First encounter with her is pure filthy: on her knees in some shitty room, sucking you slow, drool on your shaft, her lips shining while she keeps eye contact like she’s trying to own you. Later sex with her hits different, more intimate, but still rough enough that your hips are slamming into her from behind, her ass shaking while you grip her hair and she begs you not to pull out. Of course you ignore that. Of course the game zooms in when you cum inside.

The dialog can be weird. Sometimes it feels like the characters are actually talking, with little jokes and awkward pauses that make sense, and other times it slips into this super edgy detective tone that feels like it came from a different game. I kind of liked that. Or I hated it. Not sure. The love scenes are where it actually shines though. Oral isn’t just a quick animation, it lingers: tongue on the tip, slow strokes with the hand, that moment where she pulls off just to let a string of spit hang before going back down. Even small teasing moments work, like a girl sitting on your lap in a cafe, secretly grinding on you while you’re trying to pretend you’re listening to her talk about Christmas plans. Your choices do matter enough that you feel like you’re steering the romance, not just clicking “next sex scene pls.” And yeah, there’s violence that hits harder than you expect, mixed right into all that holiday romance, which is kind of fucked up and kind of what makes it stick in your head after you close the tab. It shouldn’t work with the cute lights and Xmas vibes, but somehow it does, like dirty thoughts during family dinner you absolutely shouldn’t be having.