Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

You wake up and it’s just… wrong. Not hell, not heaven, more like the horny waiting room nobody told you about. This smug bitch in heels, Miss Fortune, sits there with that “I own your soul and your dick” vibe, talking to you like she already read your browser history twice. She explains you’re dead way too casually, then basically offers you this cursed-sex-tour through a fantasy world where goblins are everywhere and somehow everyone has ridiculous boobs and zero shame. It feels like someone mixed hentai logic with a fucked-up fairy tale and then said “yeah, that’s enough plot, now go fuck things.” The writing leans into it too. Miss Fortune teases you every time you think you’re in control, like she’s watching from some upper menu, laughing when you pick the degenerate option… which is all of them, honestly.

The actual wandering around is more fun than it should be. You walk into a tavern expecting the usual boring NPC talk and instead there’s this big-titted goblin girl leaning over the counter like she’s about to fall out of her clothes on purpose. I picked the “play it cool” dialogue, and five clicks later I’m balls deep in her, she’s riding me on a dirty table, boobs bouncing everywhere, and the game throws in a titfuck scene just because it can. No fade to black, no “are you sure”, just “you touched her, now deal with it.” Some scenes are rough in that kinky way, with ropes and collars and that bastard feeling of “I probably deserve this.” One goblin dom literally drags your character around by the leash and talks shit like she’s streaming on Twitch. It’s funny and hot and a bit stupid, but in a good way. Then sometimes the pacing is weird, like you go from filthy BDSM dungeon to awkward small-talk with some random NPC with no transition, and the horny mood falls flat for a minute. Also there was one chest in a cave I clicked three times and nothing happened and now I hate that chest forever. But then you run into some new character who calls you a “useless dead meat toy” and grinds on your face and you forget you were annoyed. It’s that kinda experience. Messy, horny as fuck, not pretending to be deep, just constantly tossing you into new goblin sex trouble while Miss Fortune smirks like she planned it from the start.

Bolsdip sounds like the kind of town where nothing happens, but then you walk around for five minutes and suddenly you are watching your hot neighbor masturbate through a half open curtain and pretending this is “part of the investigation”. You play this young detective who comes back home carrying big city attitude, small town trauma, and a dick that keeps voting against professional ethics. On the surface it is this classic mystery thing: weird disappearances, rumors about supernatural shit, people keeping secrets. But the game quietly keeps shifting everything into sex. Every clue, every locked door, every awkward chat in the college hallway somehow slides toward blackmail, seduction, or some fucked up mix of both where you are not sure if you are saving them or corrupting them further. It feels less like solving cases and more like peeling clothes off reality, one layer at a time.

The way it plays is relaxed and a bit messy in a good way. You click around town, poke at objects, wait for certain times of day, and different scenes unlock depending on what you already screwed up or screwed. One run I spent ages orbiting the local professor, this classy-looking woman who talks like she teaches ethics but dresses like she cosplays her own students’ fantasies. Conversation with her starts academic, about motives and perception and all that, then suddenly she is pressing you against her office desk, whispering about “research” while her hand slides down your pants. It’s not just “sex scene, reward, next”. She keeps referencing previous choices, teasing you for hesitating when she first offered to “help you relax”, and if you push back she flips into this cool femdom mode, sitting on her chair and making you kneel between her legs while she explains moral philosophy like it’s foreplay. I wish the transitions between normal talk and horny talk were less abrupt sometimes, but at the same time that abruptness kind of feels right, like how real desire cuts into small talk without asking.

Next door is the milf who looks way too perfect for this shitty little town. She bakes, she smiles, she leans over in yoga pants in a way that absolutely counts as exhibitionism. She acts all caring, nostalgic about when you were younger, but the camera angle really cares only about her tits and her ass. You end up in these situations where you “help” her carry boxes, fix some minor thing in her house, and the reward rapidly goes from a hug to her guiding your head between her legs on the living room couch while some boring TV show is on in the background. There is this one scene where she pretends to be half asleep on the sofa and you are standing there, watching her nipples harden under the shirt, and the game lets you choose whether to be a good guy or quietly slide your hand under the fabric. It feels dirty in a very aware way, like the game is staring right into that part of your brain that always wonders what you would really do if nobody judged you. And then, when you think you have the pattern, the game throws that hidden baocat thing at you, so suddenly you are clicking around locations looking for a ridiculous little mascot that unlocks some extra lewd toy or secret animation. It is silly, breaks the mood, makes you grin, and somehow also makes the next blowjob scene feel more earned, because you hunted a stupid cat for it. The whole thing ends up like a horny detective diary: a slow burn of mysteries, voyeur moments, guilt-flavored orgasms, and the constant sense that Bolsdip itself is getting wetter and weirder the deeper you push.

This thing starts in the school therapist office and it feels exactly like when you get caught watching porn in class and pretend it was “just a meme”. The guy is sitting there, still salty after a teacher made him look like a total idiot in front of everyone, and you can almost smell that mix of shame and rage. From there it just slowly turns into this messy revenge fantasy where every girl around him is either a target, a comfort, or a fucking landmine. It’s not elegant, it’s not subtle, and I kinda loved that. One click you’re calmly asking “how was your day?”, next click you’re pushing a hand under the desk and seeing if she’ll jerk you off while pretending to check your homework. The game is that type of horny, zero to sixty, and then suddenly back to “so, how are your grades?”.

What surprised me is how much it made me feel like some creepy cameraman in my own head. I collect animated gifs for years already, and this thing is like a neverending hunt for the perfect frame. The animated scenes are short, sometimes janky, but when that shy classmate bends over the desk and you catch that one loop where her big tits press against the wood and her ass shakes just a little too much, it’s instant “save to Gallery” moment. I literally paused the game, opened ScreenToGif, and sat there trimming a 2‑second loop of a titfuck like it was some art project. Same with the mom in the kitchen, wearing that half-assed cosplay apron that shows more cleavage than cloth, idly stroking his cock with her foot while she pretends to talk about dinner. The toe curl animation is not even smooth, but it’s burned into my brain. And yeah, they really go for that whole “family under one roof but everyone is way too horny” thing. Twins sneaking into his room, mom “checking on him” while he’s fapping, that kind of wrong that your VPN cries about.

The point & click stuff jumps from cute romance to straight up corruption so fast it feels like the protagonist doesn’t even know what line he’s crossing anymore. One scene he’s just peeking through a keyhole to watch a teacher masturbate with a sex toy, trying not to breathe too loud, and the next time you meet her he’s blackmailing her with that exact moment, pushing her to suck his dick in her office while students walk past the door. I liked that, then suddenly hated it, then went back to clicking like a degenerate. There’s this wild sleep sex sequence with one of the girls where you keep testing how far you can go while she “sleeps” and the game lets you drag your hand from innocent thigh touches up to full anal teasing and you sit there thinking “okay, this is too much” while also checking if there’s a secret climax animation hidden at the end. There are romantic bits too, like awkward dates at school and soft kissing under the stairs, but I mostly remember the stupid little things: the way her panties slide to her ankle during a rushed toilet stall blowjob, that one anal scene where her expression flickers between pain and pleasure for half a second, or the moment your milf therapist straddles you on her couch and you realize this office was never about mental health. I kinda wish the sandbox parts were less grindy, I kinda wish the incest stuff was even more unhinged, I kinda wish nothing changed at all. This game feels like browsing a secret porn folder someone forgot to organize, but every file is clickable and wants to ruin your life.