Frank really picked the worst possible way to escape prison and the best possible place to wash up. Storm, wreck, boom, suddenly the dude is crawling out of the water into a familiar yellow square house that should not be this horny. He looks around, nobody home, nobody asking questions, so he just goes, “Yeah, sure, I’m SpongeBob now,” throws on the clothes and starts living this fake life under the sea. It sounds stupid as hell. It is stupid as hell. That’s kind of why it works. The game just leans into the parody thing completely, like a Newgrounds cartoon that got drunk, grew up and decided to stop pretending it’s for kids. One minute you’re wandering Bikini Bottom talking to cartoon weirdos, next minute you’re balls deep in someone with tits that would absolutely not pass broadcast standards. It’s all exaggerated, big tits, big asses, stretchy mouths, thick thighs, the whole hentai checklist but in this goofy aquatic world that used to run on Nickelodeon.

The tone is all over the place in a fun way. You’re this criminal hiding in plain sight, trying to remember you’re “SpongeBob” while also basically turning the town into your own personal sex playground. You can wander around, poke into houses you probably shouldn’t, get into some stupid mini-games, buy junk from shops, then somehow that leads to a blowjob behind a counter or a rough handjob in a back alley lit like a bad crime movie. The animated scenes are unapologetically dirty: sloppy oral with lots of spit, big cartoon cocks sliding between fat wet lips, pussy getting pounded while her huge chest bounces in that silly loop that looks wrong and right at same time. Sometimes it goes from silly to surprisingly graphic fast, like you’re laughing at a joke and suddenly there’s this intense vaginal close-up with her moaning like a full hentai OVA. The violence sneaks in too, not super serious but sharp enough you remember that Frank isn’t some innocent hero. He’s a fugitive who lies, pushes people around, fucks them, sometimes intimidates them. Definitely more male dom than soft romance here, even when the girls act all cutesy.

What surprised me most is how oddly cozy the sandbox feels even when everything on screen is nasty. You move across different Bikini Bottom spots, trigger crazy side events, stumble into lewd scenes you didn’t plan, then ten minutes later you’re grinding money again because you wasted it on some dumb store item that only unlocks one short sex loop. Some dialogues hit like shitposts from Reddit, other lines sound like the dev wrote them half asleep, but that gives it this raw energy. It’s not “polished narrative experience”, it’s “guy in a funny outfit lying to the whole town while shoving his dick where it doesn’t belong”. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you’re stuck wandering around checking every door because the game refuses to tell you where the next scene is, and then out of nowhere you trigger a scene with a stacked character who rides you like she’s trying to break your spine. If there was a DLC where Bikini Bottom just leaned even harder into the corruption, with even more twisted hentai-style events and Frank losing the last bits of morality he has, I’d play that in a heartbeat. Even if I’d complain about some tiny bug in the shop UI and then completely forget I ever mentioned it once the next girl drops to her knees.

There’s this weird moment when you’re playing, where you suddenly realize that in this world nobody is really “the guy” or “the girl” in the old boring way, and yet everybody is horny about power anyway. You’re this college professor, trans woman, looking very put-together on the surface, stylish outfits, that slightly strict teacher energy that makes you want to sit up straight and also get on your knees. The campus looks normal at first, everyday slice-of-life stuff, coffee in the staff room, awkward students, dumb meetings. Then conversations slowly twist into something more playful, more corrupted, like the world already accepted that gender is flexible, but people are still kinky little creeps about who gets to be on top. You’re respected by your colleagues, but they look at you with that extra second of eye contact, like they know you’re packing more than a gradebook under that skirt. The boyfriend exists, sure, sweet and supportive and kind of useless, which is funny, because the game pretends everything is fine while quietly setting up all these opportunities to ruin that “normal life” with your own hands.

What really hooked me was when the game stops flirting and actually lets you act on all that tension. There’s this scene with a shy femboy in your class, the kind that blushes just from you calling his name, and the dialogue lets you tease him slowly enough that you can almost hear his voice crack. You can be soft, patient, talking about his future and grades, and then without changing tone you slide into talking about how obedient he is, how cute his legs look when he crosses them. It feels like you’re directing your own audio drama, choosing where the pitch goes up, where you lean in, when you finally push him over that line. And because the MC is mostly the one on top, the camera and the writing both treat her as the center of gravity. She takes control in bed with the same calm authority she uses in the classroom, guiding a girl’s head down for a blowjob or pressing a trembling trans partner into the mattress for a deep, messy creampie. There’s a scene in a cramped office where you corner a female colleague who has been flirting for way too long, and you can practically imagine the sound of the chair wheels scraping as you pin her there, one hand on her throat, the other under her skirt, until she breaks and begs you to fuck her harder. It should be ridiculous, and it is, but the game knows it. It goes from serious psychological “who am I really” questions to you railing a cute futa on your desk like this is just another faculty meeting. And of course, I kept pausing the game thinking about how I would deliver those lines as a voice actor, where to add a breathy laugh, where to drag out a moan. Then I forgot completely and just clicked through, because seeing the professor pound that femboy into the bed while whispering in his ear about how good boys spread their legs for their teacher was way more interesting than analyzing anything.

Phil is the kind of old bastard you see in hentai and think, “nah, nobody is like that in real life,” and then the game spends about ten minutes proving you wrong. He used to be this self-proclaimed sex god, king of the boarding house, panties thief, the whole package, and now he’s broke, humiliated, and somehow still horny as fuck. The plot is simple on paper: someone screwed him over, he got kicked off his throne, and now he claws his way back up by joining the local mafia and turning his own house into this weird mix of crime HQ and pervy playground. It sounds ridiculous, and it is, but that’s kinda why it works. One moment you’re helping him deal with shady guys in suits, the next you’re peeking through keyholes to watch a girl ride a dildo she swears is “for back pain only.” The game just shrugs like, yeah, that’s normal. Helga, Olga, Mirian, Layla, Ronda, Phoebe… every name drops like some bootleg crossover of childhood cartoon parody and cheap soap opera, and they all come with their own flavor of fuckery. Helga being a tsun brick with big tits is probably the least surprising thing in here. The first time Phil accidentally walks in on Layla, ass in the air, playing with a toy in front of her phone camera, I actually paused and laughed, because of course the old pervert doesn’t back out. He just stands there, breathing heavy, and the game lets you drag that voyeur moment out longer than it should. The teasing is constant, insanely slow at times, like the devs are edging you on purpose. You grab tits, you grope asses, someone complains, someone moans, and the line between “oops” and “he totally meant that” is very blurry. It’s a sandbox structure, so you bounce around the house, repeat scenes, poke at characters until new stuff unlocks. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s just Phil being a creepy old fuck and you go “okay dude, relax,” but then you click the same option again anyway, so who’s the real problem here.

What I didn’t expect is how much the game leans into Phil being old, not in a sad way, but like a filthy legend past his prime trying to speedrun a comeback. He talks about his “glory days” while staring at a teen with a big ass bent over the kitchen counter and whatever sympathy you had just melts. And yet, the game still lets him be this weird charm bomb. He flirts with Milfs and teens like it’s all the same sport, one minute groping some big tits in a cramped hallway, the next sabotaging some poor bastard’s date so he can swoop in. There’s a scene with Olga where he “helps” her with yoga, and you can practically smell the sweat and desperation when he pretends his hands just “slipped” to her ass. Anal stuff shows up more casually than I expected too, like Phil is just ticking off a bucket list he started thirty years ago. The parody angle pops out more in small jokes: little nods to “Hey Arnold” style names, some girl literally named Ronda who looks like she walked out of a bootleg hentai version of a kids show, and the game never points at it directly, it just sits there and lets you be the one who feels dirty for noticing. Sex toys appear in random places, like a vibrator casually on a coffee table, and Phil’s reaction is always the same horny old man energy, half shocked, half delighted. I only really got annoyed at tiny things, like how the same teasing line repeats in certain scenes and the timing of some events feels off, you walk in, get blueballed, leave, come back, same half-finished seduction, like the universe is lagging. But then you hit a new voyeur moment with Phoebe showering, water dripping over huge tits pressed against the glass, and the irritation just fades into the background noise. Nothing feels polished, not the pacing, not the transitions, not even the way Phil talks, but in this type of game it kind of fits. It’s like dirty fanfic that escaped, got some code slapped on it, and decided to become your new guilty habit without asking.

Royal Madness is probably the closest thing to a horny fairytale written by a very drunk court painter who really likes cats with huge tits and smug faces. You’re tossed in as Lewis, bastard ocelot prince, and the world instantly treats your royal blood like a kink rather than a title. It’s not subtle about it. Every rival, every “enemy,” every supposed threat ends up circling one question: are you fucking them into your harem, or are they turning you into their cute little pet instead. The game doesn’t pretend to be noble. It treats power as a sex toy and nobility as an excuse to collar people and re-style their bodies until they match your tastes a bit too perfectly.

What I liked is that the characters aren’t just recolors of the same cat-girl with different boobs. The art actually feels like someone sat there and thought “ok, what if a smug lioness warlord had hips like a fertility statue and armor that only makes sense if her nipples are a political statement.” Sometimes it looks messy, lines a bit shaky, anatomy going off on its own adventure, but that fits the energy. It’s not corporate clean, more like horny sketchbook that got out of control. There is this rhino general, for example, huge chest, scars across the muzzle, and when you win their challenge the magic doesn’t just slap “now they are pretty” filter. No, you literally watch the body warp piece by piece, broad muscles smoothing or sharpening, maybe the tits swelling stupidly big while they gasp halfway between outrage and getting turned on by losing. That slow change hits way harder than a simple “transformation finished” screen.

The actual structure is that loose sandbox style where you hop from one hot mess to another, switching perspective between male and female protagonist when the story feels like it, not when you are ready. One scene you’re Lewis using magic to slowly erode the pride of a tiger knight, teasing him until his cock and even his voice betray how much he wants to kneel. Next time the game flips and you’re playing as one of your own ex-rivals, now loyal, wandering your palace and accidentally starting something filthy with a new intruder who thought they’d be the one on top. That shift is the fun part. You see the same harem from different eyes, sometimes as a conqueror, sometimes as the newest toy, sometimes as the one being “improved” by your own magic. And the kinks slide around too. One route gives you a stacked lion queen that you carefully nudge from terrifying monarch into doting, overprotective mommy dom, then another throws you against a seemingly submissive bunny clerk that ends with you collared, hips reshaped, moaning her name while she tests how flexible ocelot royalty can be when properly “reformed.” Half the time I was cursing at the tiny UI buttons and weird pacing, the other half I was staring at the screen of my phone on the tram, trying not to bite my lip like a complete idiot.

If you really want to squeeze every filthy drop out of it, don’t rush straight to the obvious sex scenes. Poke around the challenges, lose on purpose sometimes, see how the transformations twist when you’re the loser instead of the victor. Talk to characters again after you’ve changed them, especially the big tits crowd and the ones who pretended they didn’t care about you. Watch how their new bodies and new roles corrupt their own original goals. Treat each battle less like a level and more like a negotiation with the world’s nastiest fashion designer. That’s where the game actually gets hot.