This one starts like someone mashed a porn parody with a super old flash mini game, then forgot to polish half of it and went “fuck it, it’s good enough.” And somehow that actually works. It throws you right into a cheap-looking Star Wars knockoff room, with this Rey clone giving you that half-innocent, half-“I know exactly what’s going on” look. At first I was kind of annoyed, because the UI feels like it was made on a Monday morning by a hungover dev. Buttons are tiny, some stuff doesn’t really stand out, and I kept misclicking on shit when I just wanted to grab her by the hips and not open a random menu. But after a while you start to understand how the game “thinks,” and then it clicks. The way choices slowly unlock more dirty scenes feels like you’re leveling up in pure perv skills. When I started, I was just mashing the basic options to see her tits. After a few rounds I was timing actions, testing dialogue, figuring out what opens the more hardcore stuff, trying to “min-max” my way into that messy cumshot ending. It’s stupid, but I’m proud of that.

Funny thing, the Kylo knockoff in here is nothing like movie Kylo. Here he’s basically a walking dick with a lightsaber and some edgy lines. And that dick is huge. Like porn comic huge, not “real human anatomy” huge. First time Rey gets on it I literally said “no way that fits” at my screen. It adds this ridiculous, over-the-top vibe where every scene is turned up to eleven. You don’t just get a quick fuck. You get Rey choking on this giant cock while she tries to talk, her eyes watering, that cheesy space background behind them. Then you mess up one option and suddenly the pacing goes all weird, the scene cuts too fast and you’re just staring at a static image thinking “wait, that’s it?” Some moments feel rushed like that. There’s this one animation where her head moves but her body is like a statue and it pulled me straight out of it. I still replayed that scene three times, though, because the sound of her gagging is lowkey perfect. Yeah, I know, priorities.

What actually surprised me is how much the game accidentally trains you. At first I treated it like dumb fap material. Then I noticed I was experimenting with order. Talk dirty first, then touch, then push further. Don’t jump straight to “slam her on the table” or she doesn’t react the same. It kind of mirrors real flirting in the most trashy way. You try different lines, see what she likes, adjust. Screw up and you get a weaker scene or some half-hearted blowjob where she barely reacts. Get it right and suddenly she’s riding that big cock like she’s been waiting for it the whole trilogy, moaning non-stop, eyes rolling back. There’s a bit where you time your thrusts and if you keep the rhythm, you get this longer finish with cum all over her face and tits. Miss the timing and he just shoots once and it ends. Already annoyed me once that the cum lands slightly off on her cheek, not aligned with the head, and now I can’t unsee it. Still came. Still went back to see if I could get a “better” splatter like some horny speedrunner. The whole thing is cheap, messy, a little broken, but if you grew up with these dumb parody games and like watching Rey get absolutely wrecked by a huge cock while you try to “optimize” your way to more nudity, it just kind of hits that brain spot you don’t admit you have.

Charlie in this thing is like if some horny fanfiction writer got drunk and rewrote Star Wars from memory, but only remembered the boob parts. She shows up in that half-assed space outfit that looks like it failed a cosplay contest, and somehow her tits are both the main plot and the side quest. Blonde, big, bouncing every time she pretends to do “space combat”. Feels less like a Jedi and more like a walking pair of soft hitboxes. And it kind of works, in a stupid, dirty way. The humor is pure 2009 internet energy: stupid puns on character names, sex jokes that don’t even try to be smart, and then suddenly a threesome scene that hits way harder than the build-up deserves. I was laughing at the dumb “force-skin” jokes and still clicking like a degenerate, which is a strange combination. Sometimes you want high art. This is not that. This is like porn Mad Libs written during a late-night shitpost session. And yet I kept going.

The “choices” are that funny kind of fake freedom where you know the dev is just teasing you, but you still pause a second like, ok, do I send Charlie to flirt with the old creep space master, or do I push her right into the princess’ lap first. One click and boom, she’s on her knees testing the “dark side”, like yeah, we all saw that coming, but it still hits nice when the camera gets a bit too interested in her mouth and the strings of spit. The threesome stuff starts chaotic in a good way, like the scene doesn’t know if it wants to be a joke or a straight-up fuckfest, and the result is Charlie stuck in the middle, tits squeezed together, someone behind her, someone in front, and all the dialogue is horny parody that absolutely overstays its welcome. I liked that everyone talks too much, then I got tired of it, then one stupid gag about the “shaft” made me snort again. The princess is written like that one smug girl from your porn search history who pretends she’s above it, then five minutes later she’s riding like she invented it, moaning something about “galactic peace” while getting absolutely railed. It’s crass, sometimes lazy, kind of embarrassing, pretty hot, and way too convinced its own dick jokes are clever. I’m not proud of how much I enjoyed watching Charlie “negotiate” with the pimp master using her throat, while some knockoff Jedi wisdom plays in the background like a bad YouTube parody. But I did. And if the idea of a horny blonde space bimbo juggling cocks and stupid puns in a galaxy that looks suspiciously like a Pornhub comment section makes you grin even a little, you already know where this is going.

This one is basically “what if Padme just stopped giving a shit about politics and only cared about getting ruined by Imperial cock,” and honestly, that’s the whole mood here. The game wastes zero time pretending it’s about the Clone Wars or whatever. You open it, you see Padme with those perfect huge tits and that hungry look, and you already know you’re not here for lore. The setup is simple: she’s on top, she’s on her back, she’s getting folded, she’s riding like a woman who has completely accepted that the Force is not what’s about to fill her. It feels more like a horny fan’s wet dream that someone accidentally made playable. And yeah, it’s trashy as hell, in a good way. Or bad way. Depends who you ask. I liked it.

What hit me first was how much the game leans into the teasing before it lets you go full throttle. You start with this slow touch, hand on her boobs, playing with her nipples, dragging the cursor around like some kind of perv Jedi mind trick. Her tits actually change size as you mess with her, going from “ok, big” to “holy shit, how is she standing,” and it’s both hot and a little stupid in the best hentai way. Sometimes they get so big they almost block the rest of the action and you have to angle your view just to see the cock sliding in, and that annoyed me more than it should. I kept adjusting, like this is not how I imagined my afternoon going, arguing with giant cartoon breasts. The funny part is that the more you click and rub and switch spots, the more she starts reacting, moaning louder, face changing from smug senator to brain-melted cock toy. You can feel the game pushing you to play with all the options instead of just mashing the main thrust button, which I did anyway the first time and immediately regretted when I saw what I missed.

Then the positions start to unlock and it turns into this little loop of “ok, I’ll just try one more” and suddenly she’s bouncing on top of you like she’s trying to break your hips. The on-top scenes hit hardest for me, because the animation really makes it look like she’s slamming herself down to feel every last bit inside. When you swap to that 3 on 1 thing, it gets way nastier. Padme in the middle, one cock stuffing her pussy, another taking over her mouth, sometimes a third one crowding the frame and you’re like, alright, this is the version of the Republic they didn’t show in the movies. There’s this specific moment where she’s riding one guy and leaning forward, tits swinging, while the other trooper grabs her head and forces his cock between her lips, and her eyes roll just a tiny bit upward. That little detail stuck in my brain more than the final cumshot, weirdly. Speaking of, you get those sticky inside finishes, proper creampie where you can see the white filling her up, and she keeps grinding on it, like she wants to make sure none of it escapes. Sometimes I wished there were more sound options or some stupid cheesy Star Wars joke, but at the same time, it kind of works better that it just goes all in on the porn and leaves the parody stuff in the background. If you’re the type who searched “Padme hentai” at least once and felt a bit too proud of yourself, yeah, this is probably for you.