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AI JERK OFF
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That's all we got, try searching for Tower Defence Hentai Videos instead?
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You know, sometimes you just want to see cute anime girls but also you want to put up some little cannons to shoot monsters, and that is why tower defense Hentai Games are actually kinda fun for wasting time. I have played so many of these where the strategy is just awful, like the balance makes no sense at all and you lose even if you put the strongest unit at the start, but then the CG gallery unlocks anyway so who cares. It is weird how many of them use the exact same goblin sprite, I swear I have seen that green guy in five different games this month. But okay, the main point is usually upgrading your towers so they turn into naked girls or something like that, which is a mechanic I don't really get but I accept it because it is hot. Usually, the art is nice, but sometimes the artist clearly cannot draw feet, like they look like weird blocks of cheese, it bothers me a lot. Why do they never fix the feet? Anyway, you play these games in the browser so it is fast, no waiting for big files. I remember playing one where the main hero was a slime and you had to defend the dungeon core, and honestly, the gameplay was better than normal non-lewd games on steam, which was a surprise, but then the dialogue was so bad I skipped it all.

I wish there was a mute button that actually worked on all of them because sometimes the music is just a very loud loop of techno that hurts my head after ten minutes. But you keep playing because you want to see the next scene with the elf archer. The progression in tower defense Hentai Games is usually very grindy, you have to replay the same level three times to get enough gold or crystals or whatever currency they invented this week. It feels like work sometimes. But then you get that new unit that shoots lasers and has huge tits bouncing around and you think okay maybe it was worth the twenty minutes of clicking. One thing that makes me laugh is the enemy pathing, sometimes the monsters just walk in circles or get stuck on a wall and you win automatically. It feels cheap but I will take the win. Also, why are the menus always so confusing? Just put the "play" button in the middle, stop hiding it behind three other screens of upgrades. I spent five minutes just looking for the level select screen once.

It is funny how serious some of these developers try to be with the story, talking about ancient wars and dark lords, but we are all just here to see the clothes come off when the tower gets damage. I like it when the game is honest about being just for horny people. There was this one title, I think it was *Kingdom Guard Harem* or something generic like that, where the losing animation was actually better than the winning one, so I started losing on purpose just to see it. That is bad game design maybe, or maybe it is genius. I don't know. Sometimes the browser lags a bit if there are too many enemies on screen, like a thousand little slimes, and everything goes slow motion, but it gives you time to look at the character sprites I guess. I just wish they would stop using that one sound effect for getting hit, it sounds like hitting a wet bag of sand and it is in every single game. But yeah, if you like watching little chibi characters fight and then seeing full art scenes, this category is basically full of that stuff.

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Okay so look, usually when I am looking for something to play I don't think about strategy too much, but tower defense Hentai Games are a weird mix of thinking hard and just looking at boobs. It is stressful when the wave of enemies is coming and you don't have enough mana to build the magic tower, and then the game over screen is just a picture of the main girl crying, which is annoying because I wanted the other kind of scene. The difficulty spikes are crazy in these games. Level one is for babies, level two is impossible unless you click perfectly. It makes me angry but then I try again anyway. I played one yesterday where the towers were actually monster girls you place on the map, and they attack the knights coming in. It was a cool idea but the hitboxes were broken so half the attacks missed. Why do they release it if the attacks miss? It is a mystery. But the gallery mode was easy to unlock so that is good.

I really hate when the tutorial is too long. Like, I know how to place a tower, dude. I have played video games before. Just let me start the wave. But no, you have to click the flashing arrow for five minutes while the text explains things poorly in broken English. It adds charm I guess. The best part of these browser games is you can just close it if it sucks and try the next one. There are so many clones of *Kingdom Rush* but with naked anime girls added, it is almost impressive how they copy everything. I found a bug in one game where if you upgrade the barracks to level 4, the game freezes, but only if you have the sound on. How does that even happen? Programming is magic to me. I like when the enemies are distinct, not just color swaps, but usually, it is just red slime, blue slime, yellow slime. Very creative guys, wow.

Sometimes I think about how much time someone spent drawing the background art for level 7 that you only see for two minutes. It is usually surprisingly detailed, like nice trees and rivers, while the actual game looks like it was made in paint. The contrast is funny. Also, the voice acting in tower defense Hentai Games can be hilarious. Sometimes it is professional and sometimes it sounds like they recorded it in a bathroom with a phone. I prefer the bad quality ones, they make me laugh more. There was a specific game where the hero unit had a sword that was way too big, it covered up the other units so I couldn't click them to upgrade. I lost the level because his sword was in the way. That is the kind of jank you have to deal with here. But the payoff is usually good if you are into fantasy themes or monster girls. Just don't expect the strategy to be perfect like a real big budget game, it is mostly about the reward scenes anyway. I wish the text font was bigger though, I have to squint to read the stats of the towers. Maybe my eyes are just bad from staring at screens too much.
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