You know what's weird? I downloaded this thinking it'd be another cheap cash-grab using stolen assets, but honestly... there's something oddly charming about how janky everything feels. Like, you've got Bowsette right next to Tsunade having coffee while Android 18 complains about her hair, and somehow it works? The whole thing runs on Koikatsu cards which means the character models look decent enough, though don't expect AAA polish here.

The dating sim mechanics are pretty straightforward - you pick a girl from this massive roster spanning everything from My Hero Academia to Dragon Ball to fucking Vocaloid characters, then try to sweet-talk your way into their pants. Some conversations feel genuinely funny, especially when the writers clearly had no idea what they were doing with certain franchises. Watching Frieren act like a horny teenager is... an experience. The sex scenes range from vanilla missionary with Princess Peach to some wild tentacle stuff with monster girls, and yeah, there's plenty of titfucking and footjobs if that's your thing. Oral scenes are animated well enough, though the physics can get wonky.

What really got me though was stumbling across this random voyeurism scenario with Komi-san where you're basically just watching through a window, and it felt more intimate than half the actual sex scenes. The game doesn't take itself seriously at all - you'll have Harley Quinn making Batman references during foreplay while Yor Forger somehow ended up in the same room discussing assassination techniques. It's absolutely ridiculous and I kept playing just to see what bizarre crossover would happen next. Sure, the UI looks like it was designed in 2005 and sometimes characters clip through each other during the steamier moments, but there's something endearing about this chaotic mess of anime waifus all existing in the same horny universe.

I swear this game messed with my head more than any so-called “psychological” visual novel ever did. You wake up rich, spoiled, surrounded by girls who look like they stepped straight out of some fever-dream crossover - like, imagine Asuka Langley arguing with Hinata about who gets to sit closer to you at breakfast, and then Merlin just casually walks in wearing nothing but a towel that doesn’t even try to do its job. It’s ridiculous, yet there’s something weirdly believable about it. Maybe because the dream logic fits too well: everything looks perfect, but your brain keeps whispering that something’s off. I liked that uneasy feeling until it got buried under all the moaning and skin. Then again, maybe that’s the point - when reality breaks, people reach for pleasure first. Or I’m overthinking pixels again.

There’s this scene - I won’t spoil too much - but you’re supposed to choose between helping Yor Forger study or letting Jinx drag you to her room. I picked Yor, thinking it’d be wholesome. Yeah, right. Five clicks later she’s on the desk, glasses half-off, saying things no spy should ever say. The animation isn’t flawless; sometimes her eyes lag behind her face, which made me laugh when I shouldn’t have. But that glitchy charm stuck with me longer than any of the polished stuff. And the sound design? Way too real. My cheap headphones couldn’t handle Tsunade’s voice purring through them. Still, I kept replaying the same moment like an idiot chasing déjà vu.

Funny thing: I started playing for the sexy chaos, but ended up stuck thinking about that blank-memory setup. Like maybe the main guy deserves the confusion. Maybe we all do. It’s a horny game pretending to be philosophical - or a philosophical game pretending to be horny. Doesn’t matter. When Nami whispers something about “remembering the wrong things,” I actually paused. Then I unpaused, because, well… she was already moving.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You start as this nobody shinobi that completely flunked his shot at becoming a proper ninja, and honestly, it fits. The world of Naruto is full of geniuses and destiny kids, and here you are, the background extra who somehow got dragged into the darker corner of the setting. Danzo scoops you up on the side like some discount weapon, drills you in secret until you’re this quiet, efficient tool. Not the heroic, orange-jumpsuit idiot. More like the guy in the shadows who actually cleans up the mess. By the time Lady Tsunade suddenly calls you to her office, you already feel a bit twisted inside from the training, and the game really leans into that. One second she is the “big-tits alcohol auntie” Hokage, slouching with that bored face, next second she pins you with those eyes and you realize the power gap is stupidly huge. And somehow that makes the whole corruption angle even hotter, because you know damn well she could snap you in half, but the story keeps finding excuses to put you in control anyway. Well, sort of in control. In the way hentai logic works, where one little advantage becomes a full-on mindfuck campaign.

The structure is this mix of visual novel scenes and a light management thing where you juggle missions, training and, yeah, seducing or breaking kunoichi. You’re not just clicking through text, you’re planning how to get stronger, how to stack influence, what to say to each girl so later you can push them a step further. There was this moment with a certain loud blond idiot and a certain legendary busty Hokage where your choices earn you “trust” as the good reliable shinobi, then the next scene lets you flip that same trust into subtle blackmail. One innocent favor turns into “you owe me,” then into “you’ll do this and pretend you like it,” then into you pressing her up against her own desk while she still wears the Hokage hat. The dialogue swings between goofy parody stuff, like making fun of Naruto’s stupid optimism, and dead serious submission play where a proud kunoichi realizes she is aroused from being ordered to kneel. I liked that whiplash more than I want to admit. Also, whoever decided Tsunade’s breasts needed to be that big was probably compensating for something, but hey, I’m not complaining. Actually I am, because some scenes end just when they get really filthy and it drove me crazy, but anyway. The fun part is experimenting with choices that look harmless, then later you find out that “joke” suggestion you made to a ninja girl became the seed for full corruption, and suddenly she is sneaking into your room at night, half shy, half desperate, asking you to use her like a toy so she can forget about her duties. If you want to really enjoy it, push the submissive paths, save often, and don’t rush to the obvious “good boy” endings. Stretch out the tension. Make them squirm a bit longer before you finally tell them what position they’re sleeping in tonight.