Memory hits you like a drunk kiss: messy, off-target, and a little too slow. You wake up in some rich-looking place that obviously isn’t yours, and your brain is basically an empty save slot. No name, no past, nothing. What you do have is a body that works just fine and a house full of women who look like they walked out of the “forbidden” tab in your Pornhub history. They act like they know you. Or like they’re supposed to know you. That weird tension is the best part: everyone fakes normal life, but every glance hangs one second too long, every “accidental” touch lasts a bit more than polite. You’re the only guy in the house, and the game never lets you forget that. Walking through the hallway feels like scrolling a sex playlist. The “mom, but maybe not really mom, calm down, it’s a porn game” type with a ridiculous ass bent over the washing machine, the soft-spoken one sitting on the couch with her tits half-slipping out of her top, the one who pretends she’s not checking you out while you pass behind her. It all looks too clean, too posed, like those 3D porn renders you hide behind boring folder names, and the game leans into that. Every scene is like you just paused a premium video at the best moment and then someone told you, “Ok, now unpause and go touch her.”

What I liked is that the seduction is actually slow when it wants to be, then suddenly horny as fuck. You sit at the table, she passes you a drink, her fingers brush your hand, and the camera kind of lingers on her chest when she leans in. Later you’re in her room, “helping” her find something on the floor, your hand ends up on her hip, then a little lower, and she doesn’t pull away. Next thing you know, her ass is pressed into your crotch and you get that choice: be a fake gentleman or push it. Pick the fun option and the game rewards you with those porn-mag angles: your hand under her shirt, thumb grazing her nipple, that slow squeeze while she pretends to protest but her breathing gives her away. They really like teasing here. Like, there’s a scene where you can just stand in the doorway and watch her shower through the slightly open door. The steam, her fingers between her legs, the water sliding over her huge tits, and you’re there like a creep, jerking off quietly with your phone screen lighting your face like some cursed incognito tab. The game actually sold me on the handjob scene more than on some of the full sex stuff: her on her knees, close-up on her lips while she whispers shit she definitely shouldn’t say to a guy who might be related, her hand wrapped around you, playing with the tip, smearing precum with this lazy, confident movement that says she’s done this before. Oral and anal show up too, obviously, and there’s this one anal moment where she tries to pretend it hurts “too much” while still pushing back on you, and the look on her face is that perfect mix of “you’re too big” and “don’t you dare stop.” There are creampies that land exactly where they should, dripping out in these thick strings, and the romance angle kind of sneaks in, because between all the filthy shit she sometimes looks at you like she actually cares who you are, not just what you can do with your tongue. It’s trashy, it’s horny, it’s a little bit wrong on purpose, and it knows exactly which sick little fantasies live on your phone.

Tali is absolutely not the shy little quarian tech nerd people remember from the original games. Here she’s more like the center of a very rude quiz show where every question is “How far are you willing to go this time?” and the answer keeps getting filthier. The story picks up after she escapes this messed up ghost ship, and instead of going back to anything safe, she ends up bouncing around space with a bunch of “friends” who have very specific ideas about what to do with her suit, her body, and her obedience. One moment you’re in a legit combat scene, trying to manage shields and positioning, and the next moment losing a fight means Tali is on her knees, visor fogged, being used like a trophy by whatever monster just wrecked you. And yeah, the camera really loves her ass. Whoever built those shots deserves an award. Maybe “Excessive Focus On Tali’s Butt” gold medal.

The game kind of feels like a horny Mass Effect quiz where every choice is secretly: a) blowjob, b) anal, c) corruption, d) all of the above. You run around in this sandbox structure, poke different parts of the ship or station, and suddenly you’re in some awkward scene with Liara teasing her while EDI throws dry comments in the background like she’s hosting a porn podcast. One of my favorite dumb moments: I was half-tabbing out to check Discord, left a teasing scene running with Tali “practicing” oral on some alien cock, came back and she had switched positions and was riding instead because I let the idle animation chain continue. No tooltip, no pop up, just “you ignored the scene, now she’s even more corrupted, congrats.” It’s janky in spots, the animations sometimes loop too obviously, and Kasumi just kind of appears, steals the spotlight with a handjob scene, then vanishes again like a horny ninja. Never explained properly, and the game just shrugs and moves on.

What’s nice is how it leans fully into parody without being shy about anything. Miranda’s big tits are used exactly how you think, Ashley is still an uptight soldier but now her idea of discipline is getting Tali to “follow orders” with vaginal and anal rewards, and somewhere in the middle Shepard is there, but half of the time feels like a side character in his own porn. The corruption aspect creeps up on you in a stupidly fun way: early Tali is awkward, blushing, touching herself alone in a quiet room, just masturbation and a bit of teasing. A few bad fights lost, some “training” with Shiala and Samara, one very wrong encounter with a slime-like monster, and suddenly she’s the one grabbing cocks first, begging for more, suit open in places you’re pretty sure are not Alliance regulation. It’s dirty, it’s uneven, it repeats a couple of angles too much, and the UI sometimes hides a choice you swear should be there. But when she bends over in zero-g and the whole scene turns into this slow, weightless anal fuck with her gasping inside the helmet, you kind of forget what you were annoyed about. Or what you were doing before the scene started. Or why Jira is still open in another tab.

You’re flipping burgers in some sad McDonald’s, trying not to think about your life choices, and suddenly the world just glitches. Instead of the fryer you’re staring at Voldemort’s noseless mug while still smelling like burned oil. He basically speedruns the job interview: no contract, no payroll, just “congrats, you’re a Hogwarts professor now, go corrupt Hermione or die.” That’s the vibe. One second you’re asking “with or without pickles,” next second you’re being told to turn the golden girl of Hogwarts into a filthy bad witch who’d probably hex your dick off and then step on it in heels. And it somehow works. The game just tosses you into Hogwarts like you slipped in through a fanfic side door, but now you’ve got powers and authority and absolutely no HR department watching you. You walk around this parody Hogwarts, talk shit, try not to piss off the Dark Lord, and slowly poke at Hermione’s “perfect girl” shell until it cracks and she starts looking at you like homework she wants to do on her knees.

Hermione here is not the shy bookworm people pretend she is. She starts strict, naggy, all “rules, rules, rules,” but you can see the dev really enjoys turning her into a problem. Clothes get shorter, poses get bolder, she starts throwing those “this is wrong” lines while obviously loving every second. It’s that slow corruption style where your choices and little events stack up. You tease her in class, you nudge her into “practical lessons,” you catch her after hours when the halls are empty and the only magic that matters is making her legs shake. Some of the scenes get wild, especially once she starts using magic while you’re already inside her. Stuff floats, lights flicker, she struggles between being the good little prefect and the girl whose tits are basically falling out of her uniform. And yeah, they made sure she is… very stacked. Ass too. This is the type of Hermione who could smother the entire Gryffindor common room just by sitting down. There’s one moment where she’s bent over a desk “studying” and honestly you forget there’s a world outside the screen. Then suddenly Voldemort checks in and you remember you’re technically supposed to be doing evil, not just horny.

Side note, Bellatrix here completely steals scenes she’s in. She shows up as your twisted assistant, like some goth HR rep from hell whose only job is helping you ruin Hermione while laughing in your face. Half the time she’s mocking you, half the time she’s lowkey ready to ride you till your spine folds, and you never fully know which one you’re getting. She offers “advice” that might help you or might screw your mission and it’s kinda funny how you still click it like an idiot. There’s this bit where she’s explaining how to break Hermione’s resistance and she’s doing it while basically pressing her huge tits into you, like girl, how am I supposed to listen to your evil lecture when your cleavage looks like a death trap I want to fall into. And then the game just casually throws Arcueid in there like it’s the most normal crossover in the world. McDonald’s wage slave turned Hogwarts professor trying to corrupt Hermione with Bellatrix coaching him, and suddenly the blonde chaos vampire girl pops up in this Harry Potter parody like “sup, I’m here now.” It’s stupid, but in the fun way, like a meme that went on too long and became art by accident. The whole thing feels a bit scuffed, a bit random, a lot horny, and somehow that mix of big tits, big asses, magic tricks and dark humor just keeps your hand on the mouse when you said you’d close it after “one more scene.”