Naruto porn games usually feel like some horny dude slapped boobs on a PowerPoint and called it a day. This one actually tries to be an “adventure” and not just a fap machine, which is cute, because five minutes later you’re making Hinata moan against a tree while pretending you care about plot. You start as Naruto, obviously, and the game just throws you into this village map where every girl suddenly forgot what personal space is. One second you’re “on a mission,” next second you’re sneaking peeks at Sakura undressing behind a paper wall, squinting at your phone like, yeah, this is exactly what Kishimoto had in mind back then, totally canon.

It leans really hard into groping and voyeurism in a way that feels almost too on point. Walk into a training ground, boom, Tenten stretching with her tits basically announcing themselves, and the game is just like, “press here to ‘help’ her adjust her stance.” That “help” is your hand on her ass, by the way. No subtlety. The funny part is how the dialogue pretends this is all very serious ninja business. Tsunade is there, huge breasts barely trying to stay inside that coat, lecturing you about discipline while your only “choice” is where you want to grab first: her tits or her thighs. You can go from pervy peeks to full-on vaginal sex scenes in like two clicks, no slow burn, no romance, just chakra-enhanced thirst. I was playing on mobile in incognito on Chrome, and at some point I legit forgot this was supposed to be a parody and not some lost doujin that crawled out of NHentai and got buttons slapped on it.

Specific moments stick in your brain. Like, there’s a scene with Hanabi where you’re “training her Byakugan” and the drill is literally you watching her masturbate while pretending it’s some focus exercise. Or that bit with Karin in a dark corridor where she’s pressed against the wall, cheeks out, and you’re “checking her wounds” from behind. Yeah, sure, wounds. Suigetsu randomly pops up just to be a thirsty idiot and then disappears again, like the dev remembered he exists and then lost interest. The voyeur scenes with Ayame are weirdly hot for no reason at all; she’s just bending over a counter, and the camera angle is so obviously perverted you almost laugh. Then there’s Lady Tsunade again, because of course the game knows exactly why everyone clicked on it: big tits, big ass, big “medical exam” that turns into you fucking her office desk raw while she pretends it’s therapy. Sound is basic as hell, but the low effort kind of works. Those cheap moans through your phone speaker in the bathroom feel dirty in the right way, like watching porn with awful audio on some sketchy site. The funniest part? The game keeps throwing “fantasy” excuses at you, like, “oh no, Orochimaru cast a spell, guess you have to touch her there,” and by that time you’re already one-handed on your screen and not reading anything. It’s messy, horny, dumb as shit, and somehow that fits this universe a little too well.

There is something very funny for me in this game, because it pretends to be a normal Fairy Tail / High School DxD fan thing with guild jobs and all that, but actually it feels more like a messy personal diary of a horny guy who somehow got admin access to the world. You arrive as the “new member” of Fairy Tail, but it is not that heroic shonen fantasy at all. You walk around, you talk, you click, and every girl you remember from late-night fanart searches suddenly becomes a possible route, a possible target, and sometimes just a test object for your latest mind control bottle from that very suspicious magic shop. It looks almost harmless when you see the shelves full of potions and weird trinkets, but then you click one small line like “Use it on her” and the tone of the scene just falls straight into corruption land, without any apology. I like that, actually. The game is not pretending to be pure. It is horny and a bit cruel and kind of honest about it.

The most “narrative theorist” thing here is how the story is not really written in one direction. You are the pervy gravity center and everything bends around you. You go from Lucy flirting stupidly in that short skirt to Mirajane giving you this soft, too-sweet smile that hides the fact you just nudged her mind into being more “open” about public touching. One moment you chat with Juvia and it is just harmless fangirl energy, and then a single potion changes the conversation into “of course I should show you everything, master, I trust you.” The text is not super polished, sometimes weird grammar pops up and some jokes land like a rock, but this messiness makes the control feel stronger. Like: I am not reading literature; I am poking a beehive and seeing which scene stings. There was this time with Erza where I tried a wrong item first, and instead of instant sex scene she just gave me this cold, disappointed reaction that hurt more than any game over. I had to alt-tab to Discord for a second and complain to nobody. And then I came back and tried again with a different approach and, suddenly, steel queen Erza is blushing and her armor is kind of a suggestion instead of protection. That flip feels earned, even if it is just numbers changing behind the screen. Weird detail, but the small pause before some CGs appear, that half-second of nothing, makes the whole corruption feel like a breath being held. It is probably just my shitty laptop, but my brain turned it into a narrative beat and now I cannot unsee it. Anyway, the result is simple: big tits, familiar faces, your choices, your potions, and that guilty feeling when you realize you prefer mind controlled Rias over normal Rias and you are totally fine with that.

Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

Together with your tantalizing companion, you've opened a one-of-a-kind retreat that caters to some seriously unusual visitors. These aren’t your average customers - your guests are legendary female warriors straight out of famous fighting games.

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Will you dominate and delight these legendary fighters, molding their fierce wills into sweet submission?