So there's this game called Cartoon Hearts and honestly? It's kinda weird but in that good way where you can't look away from a car crash, except the car crash is horny teenagers and cartoon characters going to high school together.

You play some random dude - because it's always some random dude, isn't it - walking around what looks like a normal city but surprise! Raven's doing her goth thing in art class, Violet Parr's trying not to phase through her desk during math, and Starfire's probably setting something on fire in chemistry because that's just Tuesday for her. The whole setup is unhinged in the best possible way. Like someone took Saturday morning cartoons and said "what if they all went to the same school and had raging hormones?" which is either brilliant or deeply concerning depending on your perspective. The writing bounces between actually clever character interactions and moments where you're like wait did Raven just say that? Because she did and it's weird but also... kinda works?

Each girl's got her whole personality thing going on - shy artist with mysterious vibes, popular athlete who's secretly insecure, alien princess who doesn't understand human customs but definitely understands human anatomy. Standard visual novel fare but with characters you actually recognize instead of Generic Anime Girl #47. The dialogue gets pretty explicit when things heat up, which they do because that's literally the point. Some scenes hit different when it's characters you've known since you were like twelve, creates this whole cognitive dissonance that's either your thing or absolutely not your thing. No middle ground here. The art style does this thing where it tries to stay true to the original designs while making them more... adult-oriented, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it works great, other times Starfire looks like she walked out of a completely different universe than Teen Titans but whatever, you're not here for art consistency anyway.

Riveroaks looks like one of those nice West Coast towns from Instagram, but this game keeps poking the dirty meat under the skin. You play this broke guy who gets kicked out of home and suddenly finds out his estranged dad is a porn mogul with a new gay studio that needs a handler. Not in the fun BDSM sense. In the “sign contracts and worry about profits while staring at six packs” sense. Half the time you are trying to pretend you are a professional businessman, the other half you are trying not to get a visible boner during casting. The fun part is how casual the world treats sex. Everyone already knows you are Leonard King’s kid. Baristas flirt with you like they want a role, gym bros stretch way too close, and every conversation has this small chance to slide into filth. One second someone is talking about lighting, the next they are describing exactly how they want to be fucked on camera, and the game just goes “yeah this is normal”. As a horror nerd I like when a city feels like it has a pulse, and Riveroaks kind of hums like something alive and wet. Every location feels like a different fetish altar. The arcade with sticky neon, the gym with its sweaty muscle cult, the cute café where the “nice guy” director talks about art and then asks if you are comfortable filming a three-way with a choke scene. None of this is subtle. Sometimes it is hilarious and awkward and horny at the same time, like when you are reviewing test footage and realize the actor is staring straight into the camera, dirty talking you of all people, and the dialogue actually acknowledges your flustered silence instead of pretending you are a blank self insert.

What surprised me is how much the management part and the romance keep stepping on each other’s toes. You choose what kind of scenes to produce, who to cast together, what kinks to push, and later you have to sit with the people you just turned into “content” and maybe flirt with them, or listen when they tell you about their trauma, or both. There is this one moment where you schedule a shoot with a cocky twink and a quiet older guy, thinking “ok, this will sell, simple power play vibe”, and by the time you watch the preview cut you realize they actually clicked emotionally in between all the deepthroating. Then the game asks you, softly but not really gently, if you want to push them harder next time for profit or let them have a slower, sweeter scene. Of course I picked the darker option because I am weak and also curious. The aftermath hit harder than I expected, but then the next scene is just a stupidly funny argument in a bistro over whose ass looks better on camera, so your feelings never get to settle. It is messy, like real life, only with a lot more cum. The main character is weirdly relatable too. Not some porn god, just this slightly lost young dude who keeps flipping between horny, bitter, and accidentally caring. One route has you teasing a muscular cameraman in the locker room, trading nasty jokes until he corners you in the shower and asks if you are just playing or if you want him to ruin you for real. Another has you sharing late night drinks with an actor who looks like he walked out of a yaoi doujin, talking about family while his hand sits a little too high on your thigh. The sex scenes commit. They use the dirty words, they linger on bodies, they let you taste that feeling of being looked at like fresh meat. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you jump from intense emotional build up to “ok, we are sucking dick now” with almost no breath, but honestly that clumsy cut has its own charm. Porn is rarely tidy. In my head I almost read Riveroaks like a cult story, only the cult is gay porn, and instead of summoning Cthulhu you are summoning audience engagement with horny thumbnails. There is something quietly corrupting about how normal it feels after a while to treat desire as a spreadsheet thing. And then a cute guy smiles at you from across the studio, half naked, and you stop caring where exactly your soul went.

Rain, snow, horny college boys and a bunch of talking animal dudes in the middle of nowhere. That’s more or less the vibe here. You play this slightly awkward guy who got shipped off to study in Norway, and somehow you end up in this tiny guesthouse way above the arctic circle, stuck with a bunch of other guys who are all some flavor of cute, weird, or “oh god why am I hard again”. Most of them are furries, you’re a furry too, but the game doesn’t scream “yiff now” in your face. It’s more like: you wake up, brush your teeth, stare at the snow outside, and then suddenly the wolf roomie is stretching in a tight shirt and your brain just quietly leaves the chat. The lewd stuff sneaks up on you. One second you talk about science camp, next second you’re in some small bedroom, lights low, trying not to make too much noise while a guy with soft fur is breathing into your ear and you’re both already past the point of return.

What I liked is how it actually lets you be a little shit with choices. You can flirt badly, push people away, get attached to the wrong guy, or just be the shy mess who needs three lines of inner monologue to ask someone to go for a walk. Some paths start super wholesome, like watching the northern lights together and talking about your past. Then, without big fireworks, a hand stays on your thigh for just a bit too long, and if you lean into it, things escalate. The sex isn’t just “click and suddenly porn”. You work for it in a small way. Sitting close under a blanket, feeling his tail twitch against your leg, the awkward half-boner you’re trying to hide, all that. When it finally explodes, it feels earned: heavier breathing, wet sounds in the quiet guesthouse, his claws or paws holding you in place while you grind against him or drop to your knees. It doesn’t go crazy hardcore, but it doesn’t shy away from cocks, cum, messy underwear, morning wood pressing against someone’s hip in a shared bed. I got one scene where you wake up spooning a guy, fully hard, and he just reaches back, rubs you through your boxers and whispers something half-teasing, half needy. That was the point I stopped pretending I was just “checking the story”.

It’s not perfect. Sometimes the pacing is weird and you spend a bit too long listening to small talk about studies, and you’re like “ok but when do I get to make out with the big cat again”. A few scenes feel like they are heading somewhere filthy, then they slow down into emotional talk and your dick has to wait. On the other hand, that slow burn makes the actual payoffs better. You start to notice which guy looks at you when he thinks you are not watching, or how someone’s ears flatten when you tease them. There was one path where I ended up in a cramped sauna with another guy, sweat dripping, towels slipping, and the game leans into that “we’re just bros chilling” for a bit too long before finally letting the tension snap and you get hands under towels, hard bodies pressed together, all that steam making it feel even dirtier. By that point I didn’t care about the little dialogue stumbles or how sometimes the MC overthinks like a Twitter user. It’s basically “gay furry camp where you can actually fall for the dude before you jerk off to him”, with plenty of moments where your mouse is in one hand and the other hand is… busy.

Esterium feels like somebody’s horny D&D notebook that accidentally grew into a browser game, and I kind of love that it’s still rough around the edges. You get tossed into this messy fantasy world with a body you pick yourself: big-dicked futa amazon, soft trans mage, stacked barbarian girl with tits that look like they’d knock her off balance, or just some unlucky dude who wandered way too far from home. It starts simple, mostly text and some 3D-ish character shots, but the way the game talks to you has this awkward charm. One moment you’re reading about rusty swords and trading junk, next moment the description suddenly spends three lines on how your cock twitches under your armor, or how your nipples brush the inside of your leather top when you climb over a ruined wall. It’s a bit inconsistent, but in a kind of “oh, a real person is writing this while horny and tired” way that feels weirdly honest.

There was this moment where my futa barbarian was barely strong enough to leave the starting area. I thought, fine, gonna grind skeletons like usual. Instead of a big hype combat, the game just quietly lets you bonk a skeleton to pieces with a rusty axe and then spends more time describing the sweat on your abs than the actual fight. I was like, ok priorities understood. Then later I rerolled as a female mage, wandered in the wrong direction, and ended up in a forest that felt way too empty. Just birds, vague paths, some herbs, nobody to fuck, no monster girl jumping out of the bushes. I actually got annoyed, left the tab open, went to scroll Twitter on my phone, came back, and only then noticed I had missed a clickable option in the text. Suddenly, bam, you meet this monster girl with claws and soft curves, and the game flips from “standard fantasy exploration” to “she pins you to a tree and smells your fear before deciding she’d rather smell your arousal instead.” There is no smooth transition. It’s like the writer forgot they were making an RPG and remembered “oh right, porn” halfway through the paragraph.

The sex so far is short, but it hits specific buttons. There’s this focus on size, on how heavy your tits feel when you run, how your cock strains against your gear when a merchant leans over the counter and you get a hint of cleavage. It’s not super poetic, more like horny forum roleplay with slightly better grammar. Sometimes the pacing is just weird: a whole careful explanation of basic trading, then suddenly one sentence like “her tongue traces the vein along your shaft” and you’re like, wait, we’re doing this now? I like that you can be any of the three main body flavors and the world mostly reacts to your genitals instead of treating it like a big identity lecture. You’re a futa or trans type? Cool, here’s how your underwear feels when you walk, here’s how monsters grab you by the hips and test your “endurance” in a way that has nothing to do with hitpoints. I wish the combat and leveling were less prototype and more “I’m scared to fight that demon because she might absolutely break my back in the fun way”, but also, if they ever polish it too much, it might lose that sleepy, horny energy it has right now. It’s like catching a kink game at that stage where it’s still shy and a bit clumsy, but you can already see it wants to drag you into a dark alley and see how much your character can take before their legs stop working.