Vault 69 feels like somebody took a Fallout parody, spilled a full Pornhub search history on it, and then said “yeah ok, this is the plot now”. You play as the only useful dick in an underground vault that ran out of common sense and condoms at the same time. The Overseer basically pats you on the shoulder and says “go breed, champ”, while the whole place is full of desperate, half-broken, half-horny people that somehow still find time to argue about rations and power supply. It’s not subtle. It’s not trying to be smart. It just throws you into a post-apoc mess where your cock is both resource and weapon. You walk around the vault, talk to girls who are clearly one bad day from snapping, and every choice is like a weird mix of dating sim and HR management, if HR was about who gets to swallow and who only gets it up the ass.

What I liked is that the game doesn’t pretend sex is soft or romantic. It’s rough, dirty, and sometimes a little fucked up in the head. You’ve got big-titted slaves, “volunteers” that are clearly not okay, raiders topside who think “negotiation” means forcing the protagonist to prove his value by breaking in new captives. One scene had me trying a pickup line like “Let’s save humanity together” and the girl actually laughed at me before forcing me to go down on her as “practice” for future breeding candidates. Another time I tried a more aggressive line, something like “Bend over the desk, I’m tired of talking”, and she just locked the door and went full dom on me instead, using my face on the chair and calling it “evaluation”. The game loves flipping your expectations like that. Sometimes your cheesy line works and opens a new hardcore scene, sometimes it gets you punched, sometimes it triggers a weird management event about population stress where you’re suddenly filling forms after filling holes. And yeah, those stupid little stat prompts that pop up on screen, they feel like Excel sheet made horny. I hated it. I also kind of liked it. I don’t know.

Outside the vault it gets nastier and funnier at the same time. You meet wasteland chicks who are way more dangerous than the gun they’re holding, and somehow the dialogue still makes room for cringe pickup attempts. Had a moment where I tried to be smooth with a raider girl, something like “You look like trouble, I like trouble”, and she just put a boot on my chest and told me I’ll “earn the pussy” by bringing her slaves to trade. Next thing I know, I’m back in the vault doing this awkward loop of cold resource management and hot, brutal sex, trying to decide who gets treated like a person and who gets used like equipment. The violence can be a bit much sometimes, honestly, but the world is so broken it weirdly fits. I wish there were more soft scenes where characters just fuck for fun, not duty, but this setting is not really about cozy cuddling anyway. It’s about mouths full, asses sore, power plays everywhere, and you stuck in the middle pretending your shitty pickup lines are actually saving civilization. At least when I alt-tabbed to check Discord after a particularly harsh anal scene, my brain needed a second to remember that in real life, people don’t usually ask “What’s your breeding quota today?” so I guess the immersion works a little too well.

Whole world gone to shit, cities eaten by zombies, and what you get is not some heroic soldier fantasy, but a fucked up little family bunker where everyone is too close, too horny, and way too bored. The game throws you in as the male MC, stuck with your “relatives” in a half-ruined safehouse, watching the world rot from the windows while you juggle food, ammo, and the fact that every woman under that roof keeps walking around in underwear like it’s a normal thing. It starts kind of slow, like a messy point and click management sim: you check supplies, patch walls, send people out to scavenge. At first it feels almost normal, like one of those survival browser games you’d run in a second tab while pretending to work on Slack. Then it begins to twist. The longer you play, the more you notice how often the camera lingers on curves, on that milf’s big ass squeezed into tight shorts when she climbs a ladder, or how your “sister” stretches on the couch while the radio talks about the end of humanity. The horror part is not just zombies scratching at the door, it’s the fact that you start to like the tension.

What really got me hooked is how the corruption doesn’t slam into your face from the first click. It drips. You choose who goes on patrol with you, who showers when, who sleeps where. Little “innocent” choices, yeah? Until one night you peek through a cracked door and she’s masturbating in the dark, trying to be quiet so nobody wakes up, and you get a voyeur scene that actually feels earned. Another run, you push more, tease more, and you end up “accidentally” groping her in a cramped storage room when you both reach for the same box. Suddenly her shirt rides up, your hand stays on her big tits a second too long, and the game just lets that silence breathe. You know that porn game moment when you click once and everything jumps from 0 to full gangbang? This is not that. Here you grind affection, trust, and straight up manipulation like XP. You decide if you want to be protective or a sneaky bastard, if you share rations as reward for oral sex, if you let her go outside wearing almost nothing, turning scavenging runs into walking exhibitionism while zombies groan in the background. There is group sex if you push the corruption hard enough, and some nasty netorare edges too, where you can watch someone else touch “your” woman, and the game just sits with that feeling instead of trying to comfort you. Half the time I was aroused, half the time I was uncomfortable, and weirdly, that’s why it works. It’s rough, a bit clunky, UI looks like it escaped from a porn site in 2012, and I still kept a tab open in Chrome all week, min-maxing food and morality while the family slowly forgot what real society was and started using each other to stay sane. Or insane. Whatever. Just remember: in this wasteland, survival is numbers, sex is a resource, and privacy is completely dead.

Civilization is basically a smoking crater, the streets are full of rotting corpses and hungry dead things, and somehow this game still manages to feel more about horny, stupid human choices than about the zombies themselves. You start in this ruined city where everyone keeps saying “freedom” like it’s a religion, and yeah, they absolutely use that word as an excuse to fuck anything that moves, drink anything that burns on the way down, and chase every dark kink they were too scared to Google when society still had laws. The vibe is half horror, half “what if Pornhub and a bad trip had a baby during Halloween cosplay night,” and honestly it kind of works. The writing swings from serious to trashy in like two clicks, one moment you’re checking a blood–smeared hallway and the next you’re balls-deep in some girl who thinks moaning louder keeps the undead away. Spoiler, it doesn’t.

What surprised me is how often the story gives you a choice that looks simple on screen but hits weird after. You’re not just picking “fuck / don’t fuck” every time, sometimes it’s “do you help this desperate guy who’s clearly high as hell” or “do you use this girl’s messed up daddy issues to get what you want.” It pushes that line where you catch yourself thinking, ok, I’m kind of an asshole here, but then you click anyway. There’s a scene early on where you’re holed up in a shitty apartment, sirens long dead, city quiet like a morgue, and your partner for the night wants to try something rough while there’s a zombie literally scratching the door. The game lets you decide if you stop and deal with the threat or keep going and turn it into fear-play. I picked the second option. Felt dirty, didn’t regret it, regretted it, still not sure. That’s the type of thing that sticks. The horror is not the dead; it’s you getting used to this new normal where necrotic moans outside are just background noise while you eat pussy on a broken kitchen counter. And yeah, the game knows exactly what it’s doing when it leans into drugs, shady trades for sex, and people using the apocalypse as an excuse to finally turn their porn tags into real life. Sometimes it’s hot, sometimes it’s gross, and sometimes those two are the same thing and the game just shrugs and lets you click “continue.”

The sky in 2059 is this ugly, sick orange, like somebody pissed on the sunset and never cleaned it. You play a guy who basically grew up in that shit, no nostalgia for the old world, no “remember when we had internet” crying. Just concrete bones of cities, blown-out highways, and horny, desperate survivors who learned pretty fast that a hard cock and a sharp weapon can both save your life, just in different ways. The whole thing is built around trying not to die while everyone around you is trying not to wear clothes. You wander through ruined malls that look like war museums, find half-melted billboards with smiling people from before, and then two minutes later you’re in a scav camp where some big-titted raider queen is laughing while she makes a guy strip naked in front of everyone because he lost a bet. She tells you to choose if you wanna join in humiliating him, help him, or just watch and jerk off behind a broken vending machine. And the fucked up part is that all three options feel valid.

What sells the game for me is how it mixes “oh shit I could die” with “oh shit I’m hard” in the same scene. Like you’ll be low on food, trading bullets for a place to sleep in an underground bunker, and the guy in charge says the only open bed is already taken by his sister. You expect some cliché, but she’s the one who looks you up and down, this tall woman with thighs like she squats cars, and asks if you have any “special talents.” You can brag about your combat skills, or you can say something like “I’m good with my hands.” That tiny choice flips everything. In one route she tests you in a training room soaked with blood and sweat, in another she just grabs your belt, shoves you against the wall, and makes you prove it with her tits bouncing in your face while her brother “guards the door” and politely pretends he doesn’t hear her moaning loud enough to wake the dead. It’s gross. It’s hot. It’s weirdly funny. And somehow you still care if your character survives the night and doesn’t bleed out later in some sewer tunnel full of feral mutants.

There’s this scene that stuck with me where you’re escorting a small group through a ruined overpass. Wind howling, chunks of car skeletons everywhere, that feeling that someone is watching. You can choose to sneak slow and careful, or move fast and loud to scare off scavengers. I picked fast, like an idiot. Snipers open fire, one of your companions gets her leg shot and you have to drag her into cover. She’s this smug, curvy trader who kept flirting with you earlier, joking she’d “pay in kind” if you helped her find a safe town. When the bullets stop and it’s just the sound of her breathing hard, she asks you to cut her pants open to check the wound. You kneel between her spread legs, knife in hand, and instead of panicking she starts teasing you, saying “You’re blushing more than I’m bleeding.” You get this choice: focus on first aid like a good little boy, or let the tension flip into something filthy right there behind a burned-out truck. If you go lewd, you’re literally eating her out while she winces and laughs, leg wrapped in a bloody bandage, telling you to go faster before someone spots you. It shouldn’t be sexy. It absolutely is. And somehow that moment changes how she talks to you later when you run out of supplies and she offers to “share body heat” in a cold storage room that’s definitely not cold anymore by the time you’re done. The game keeps doing that. Serious survival, then stupid horny, then a joke about pre-war porn nobody gets anymore, then someone’s brains explode on a wall. It’s messy, and that’s exactly why it works.