First thing, this game feels like someone mashed together Pornhub search history and a political sim in Nutaku on a cracked tablet, and somehow it works way better than it should. You’re not the president, you’re the creep in the shadows tugging the strings while this poor bastard in the White House is basically your remote-controlled sex dispenser. One moment you’re forcing him to sign some “anti-drug” bill so your company can sell even stronger shit under the table, next moment you’re sending him to a “private negotiation” where he has to suck up to a foreign leader’s “secretary” who looks suspiciously like Tifa Lockhart with a bigger ass and that lazy ahegao smirk. There’s this scene where you blackmail him using a video where he gets milked by a domme that looks like a mix of Lady Dimitrescu and Lara Croft, towering over him in heels, slapping his face while he whimpers, and the game is like “approval rating down 5%” and I actually laughed because yeah, sounds American enough.

Touch controls on phone are super scuffed but in a hot way. You’re dragging dialogue options like “humiliate the president publicly” or “sell your own daughter to a lobbyist for influence” and it’s messed up, but the UI is light enough you can play with one hand on Chrome while pretending you’re checking Telegram. The scenes themselves use those 3dcg models with a lot of jiggle and shiny skin, and the camera really likes big tits and big asses. Sometimes you’re in an office corruption scene with some cyberpunk style escort that’s obviously a D.Va cosplay girl turned prostitute, sometimes it jumps hard into bestiality or tentacle stuff with no warning, like you’re in a normal blackmail route and suddenly the “experimental biotech partner” is tentacles teaching the president what “real diplomacy” is. My brain went wait, what, but my other brain already accepted it. There’s a really nasty incest subplot too, where you can push your “family protection” angle into full-on corruption, trading your own sister’s ass to a senator for votes, with a voiced line where she sobs and still moans a bit, and that hit a particular degeneracy button that Harem Hotel style games love. One thing that annoyed me: the game keeps teasing Judy Hopps and Cyberpunk 2077 style chrome hookers in ads inside the world, but doesn’t let you actually click into all of them yet, just little exhibitionism events where the president is forced to watch while you test new toys on some slave girl. Also they said no soundtrack, and yeah, it’s dead quiet, only voice and sex sounds, which weirdly makes the humiliation scenes feel more raw, like some leaked OnlyFans set, but my phone speaker clicking with every tap is still more immersion than I asked for.

Star Trainer looks like it was made by someone who really liked that cartoon and then got horny halfway through and never fully recovered. You start out thinking “ok, funny parody, some silly dialogue,” and five minutes later you’re already dragging Star around, poking at menus, trying to figure out what makes her blush, what pisses her off, what secretly turns her on. It’s not subtle. She’s got huge tits squeezed into these outfits that are definitely not from the show, and the whole “training” thing is basically you slowly twisting her from goofy magical girl into your private little perv project. The best part is when you find that one option in the training screen that you didn’t expect to do much and suddenly she reacts way harder than you thought, like “oh, fuck, she liked that?” and then your brain flips from “haha parody” to “ok I’m gonna break this girl completely.” The writing swings between dumb jokes and straight-up filthy lines, which weirdly works. One time I clicked through a couple of dialogue branches too fast while half-watching a YouTube video and suddenly she was kneeling, totally naked, saying something so nasty I had to pause the video on my second monitor because my focus just vanished.

It feels janky in spots, but in a good way, like some horny passion project and not corporate porn. Interface is kind of chaotic, some buttons feel like they were slapped in at the last second, and the pacing of the “training” jumps around: sometimes you grind stats, sometimes you hit a scene that’s way more hardcore than you expected at that point. There was a moment where I tried to push her too far, just spamming the more degrading choices, and she snapped a bit, giving me this pissed-off reaction instead of the usual shy “ok” stuff. I honestly thought I broke the game and was low-key annoyed, went to Discord on my phone to complain while the scene was still on, then came back and realized it had actually opened a different path with more intense scenes later. I kinda hated it. Then I kept doing it. There’s also this milf angle hiding in there that I didn’t notice at first because I was too busy harassing Star, and when it opened up I just went “oh, shit” and switched routes without thinking. The game clearly wants you to be a total asshole sometimes, and if you lean into that, the sex scenes get way dirtier, more humiliating, more “trainer” in the bad sense. It’s not romantic, it’s not soft, it’s like you’re dragging these big-boobed cartoon girls down into your own porn brain. But yeah, I still booted it again after closing the tab and pretending I was done with it.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Jill shows up here already in trouble, no setup, no long intro, just straight in the middle of a very bad day for her. She is chained up in that classic dirty lab / sewer mix that every Resident Evil fan kind of recognizes but also knows is totally wrong here. Official Jill is out there shooting zombies, this Jill is just trying not to break in half while some huge dripping monster is rearranging her insides. The game really doesn’t pretend to be anything else. You click those little white arrows at the bottom and it feels like you’re flipping through different “oh fuck” stages of her torture-session-turned-sex-scene. One second she is just getting pounded from behind, next arrow and suddenly the thing is deeper, rougher, more sloppy, and her face changes from “I can’t believe this” into this forced, shivering pleasure that she absolutely did not ask for. It’s that specific kind of fantasy where consent is not in the room at all, and the camera is way too close to ignore every detail: spit on her tongue, her boobs bouncing hard, that wet sound when the monster pulls out then slams back in.

I got stuck for a while just replaying one single loop where she’s pressed against the wall, arms pulled back, ass up, and the monster is just slamming into her at a stupid speed. There is this tiny moment where her eyes roll up and her mouth hangs open like she is about to scream, but what comes out feels more like a moan she is trying to swallow. It lasts maybe one second and it completely sells the whole “she hates this, her body doesn’t” vibe. Then you hit the arrow, and now he is stretching her even more, and you think “ok that has to be max” but no, another click and suddenly you’re watching her belly bulge slightly with each thrust. Honestly it is a bit too much sometimes, like the animators really wanted to show off how deep the monster is going, but after a while your brain stops complaining and just enjoys the filth. The only thing that annoyed me was how easy it is to miss one of the positions if you spam-click too fast; it jumps from “normal rough” to “absolutely destroying her” and then back, and you’re like, wait, where did that angle with her legs locked around his waist go. But then you see the final loops where she’s covered in sticky white mess, panting, body twitching, and you forget you were trying to be systematic at all. It feels less like a game and more like an interactive porn clip for people who grew up secretly staring at Jill’s original RE3 outfit and thinking, yeah, this needs a monster behind her.