You know that feeling when you’re scrolling on your phone, bored out of your mind, and you start thinking “yeah, I kinda wanna flirt with half the anime multiverse right now”? This game leans right into that. It’s a mobile-style dating sim where your whole job is to talk, tease, and slowly push your way from cute banter to full-on filthy with a bunch of familiar faces. One minute you’re trying to keep your shit together while Tsunade leans in with those ridiculous tits, the next you’re trading playful jabs with Marin Kitagawa like she’s your chaotic cosplay girlfriend who absolutely knows she’s out of your league. It’s very much a “pick a waifu, poke at her until she cracks, then enjoy the view” setup. You answer questions, pick dialog options, earn points when you say the thing she wants to hear, and each correct move nudges the relationship from “hi, senpai” to “okay, pull your dick out already.”

What I like is how the game doesn’t pretend it’s some deep, tragic romance. It pretends for like 10 seconds, then goes straight into horny nerd brain. You start with small talk, a bit of teasing, then she starts hinting, and once you’ve stacked enough points, the clothes start vanishing. One date you’re laughing with Aqua while she’s being useless and bratty, the next date she’s grinding in your lap and calling you a pervert like it’s your fault. Rias acts all composed, polite, almost royal, but you keep pushing the right answers and suddenly you’re getting your cock squeezed between those huge tits she pretends are a burden. There are titfucks, messy handjobs, slow teasing oral where she holds eye contact like she wants to watch you lose control, the usual “oops I sat on it” vaginal sex, and yeah, anal too if you unlock the right scenes. Some girls treat it as a reward, some as a challenge, some as “shut up and enjoy it.” I had this moment with a certain dragon milf where she’s bouncing on top of me with that massive ass, smiling like she’s finally found a new toy, and I genuinely forgot to click the next line because I was too busy staring.

It’s not all straight either, which is nice. You’ve got traps like Astolfo and Felix in the mix, cute and flirty and way too confident, and if you’re into that, the game doesn’t tiptoe around it. They flirt hard, they suck you off like they’ve practiced, they ride you like they’re trying to prove something. Some routes feel more romantic, like a soft slow-burn with a girl like Rem, where you actually care a bit about the conversation before you end up buried inside her, and some are pure chaos, like Darkness begging you to use her like a toy while you’re thinking “ok, I’m the degenerate here but wow.” It’s kinda funny how sometimes the writing hits this surprisingly sweet mood, then two screens later you’re balls-deep and watching a loop of her moaning and drooling, legs shaking. There’s a harem vibe too once you realize just how many characters are waiting for you. Best way to enjoy it? Don’t rush. Take a character, answer her correctly, watch her shift from “oh, we’re just talking” to “fuck me harder” and let yourself get sucked into each scene. Screenshot the faces you like, replay the ones that make you twitch, and let the game do what it clearly wants to do: melt your brain in the dirtiest, laziest way possible.

King’s Guard torches your whole damn life in one night, and the game doesn't waste much time making you feel it. Orphanage gone, sister Alice screaming somewhere in the flames, and your magic blood suddenly turns you into public enemy number one. After that, it’s like being thrown out of a comfy mobile idle game right into some horny Dark Souls fairy tale. You stumble through a kingdom where anyone with magic is hunted, which sounds edgy, but here it mostly means the hottest girls are the ones everyone wants dead. Witches with ridiculous tits hiding in ruined towers, monster girls lurking in the woods, half-breeds pretending they’re normal until you pin them to the wall and they stop pretending. The tone jumps around a bit. One moment you’re talking about revenge and trauma, next moment you’ve got a stacked witch grinding on your hand while she pretends the spell “requires focus” and you’re knuckles-deep between her legs, watching her whole body shake in those smooth little animated loops.

The sex side hits that fantasy power-trip vibe hard. You’re a male mage, and once you figure out your magic doesn’t just blast enemies but also kind of bends people, things get spicy real fast. There’s a scene with a cat-like monster girl where she resists you, claws against your chest, then your magic pulses and she just melts. She ends up on top of you, big tits bouncing in your face, and you grab her hips and just slam her down on your cock until she’s crying and begging for your cum. The camera lingers when you creampie her, the animation shows the shiver going up her spine, then you see the white leaking out when you pull out. Same with this shy half-elf girl, she’s all “we should not do this, the church is close” and then she’s jerking you off under a ruined altar, stroking slowly at first, then faster, staring at your cock like it’s some forbidden relic. When you finally climax, she panics but doesn’t stop, and the shot lands all over her face, dripping down her lips. They actually show the motion of her swallowing what’s left while she’s still rubbing the last drops out of you.

There’s a messed up, almost quiet scene later where you camp with a girl who clearly trusts you too much. She falls asleep next to the fire, legs slightly open, night robe hiked up, and you can choose to “resist” or “touch.” If you don’t resist, you end up sliding your hand under her panties while she’s out cold. Her body reacts, even if her eyes stay closed. She moans softly, shifts her hips against your fingers, and the game lets you keep going. You finger her until she’s wet enough to push in, and there’s this slow, almost guilty rhythm as you fuck her while she sleeps, her breathing getting louder, little whimpers, her tits bouncing under the cloth each time you push deeper. When you finally cum inside, the creampie shot is slow, and she half-wakes, mumbling your name, but not fully. It feels wrong, and the game knows it, but it still lingers on that dripping detail between her legs when you pull out. Moments like that sit right next to softer bits, like a monster girl leaning against you after you’ve pounded her, asking if you’ll stay, then you ignore her feelings and just ask for another handjob. She smiles anyway, drops to her knees, and starts working your shaft with both hands, spit mixing with your cum from earlier, using your cock like a toy. The mix of revenge story, weird moral choices, magic bullshit and all that rough male domination sex stays kind of addictive, even when the pacing is weird and you realize you forgot why your character even started this journey in the first place.

James feels like that pretty boy in class everyone whispers about but nobody admits jerking off to. School corridors, magic crap going wrong in the background, that weird island atmosphere where you can tell everyone is hiding something dirty under a thin layer of “normal”. As a lingerie designer, I kept catching myself pausing the game, staring at how they framed his body and thinking, ok, that’s exactly the vibe when you put a guy in semi-sheer mesh briefs and pretend it’s “just for comfort”. The whole story plays like a horny coming-of-age with supernatural sauce, boys testing limits, monsters that look a bit too curious, and that slow teasing where a hand on a thigh is somehow hotter than a full nude. You go from school gossip to “why is that magical creature eyeing my ass” really fast, and it kind of works.

What I like most is how the game treats male bodies almost like outfits to layer and unwrap. You get this school setting, but instead of boring uniforms, it feels like everyone is half ready for a photoshoot and half ready for a blowjob behind the gym. There’s oral, there’s anal, there’s magic involved in ways that made me think of those dressing room mirrors in Zara that somehow always show your best angle. One scene stuck with me: James in a quiet classroom, late, the light is too soft, another boy gets way too close, they argue about something stupid and suddenly the argument melts into a blowjob under the desk while a strange sound outside reminds you this island is not normal at all. It’s messy, a bit clumsy, hot in that “this should not be happening, but it is” way. The twins are another story. They have that mirrored energy that in fashion we use for twin looks, but here it’s more like “are you two going to share him or fight over who gets his ass first”. When they start teasing, it feels like watching a runway where the model is very obviously not wearing anything under that long coat, and you just wait for it to open.

The sandbox stuff turns the island into a kind of horny playground. You wander, poke at places you shouldn’t, trigger scenes that feel like you just swiped right on the wrong guy on Grindr at 11 in the morning and still went to his place. There is one supernatural encounter in the forest that made me laugh because the creature had more rizz than half the guys on Tinder, and it goes from threat to “ok, I’m on my knees now” way too fast. At one point I was annoyed by how I kept looping the same area trying to make a specific sex scene fire, kind of like scrolling Instagram Reels looking for one exact video you forgot to save. The pacing is a bit off, some moments feel like waiting in a fitting room queue, horny and bored at the same time. But then you get a scene where James is bent over, magic crackling in the air, someone using his mouth like it actually belongs to them, and suddenly I forgive everything. It’s trashy and sweet, rough and pretty, like lace jockstraps worn under a school blazer. Totally impractical. Completely the point.

RuleUniverse feels like someone mashed Dragon Ball fanfiction, horny Twitter art and a half-finished Ren’Py project, then accidentally made it kind of addictive. You start as this lonely overachiever kid that reads like every shonen protagonist in history, then a demon scientist pops up and says, “hey, let’s stuff your body with DNA from the strongest fighters in the universe, what could go wrong.” It’s delightfully stupid in that fanfic way, but precisely because of that, it works. The game knows it’s a parody, it doesn’t try to pretend it’s “deep”, and then it suddenly throws in a line about destiny or guiding the universe and you’re like… alright, Toriyama-with-horny-mods, calm down.

The real fun is how transparently it worships its women. Bulma, Chi-Chi, Android 18, that whole legendary boob-and-ass pantheon is here, clearly shaped by someone who grew up pausing VHS at the worst places. The models are 3D and exaggerated as hell: huge tits, fat asses, those shiny anime lips that just scream “she’s going to suck him off in like two clicks.” Animated scenes actually move, not just two stiff characters rubbing like broken Sims; you get thrusting, jiggling, drool, that soft spit string when you pull out from a blowjob, all the little pervy details that tell you the dev really wanted this for themselves first. One moment you’re doing basic combat with ki blasts and energy auras, the next you’re balls-deep in Bulma in a lab, with wires and science junk in the background like that somehow makes it ethical. And the combat’s funny: it pretends to be serious, but all you’re thinking is “okay, how many fights until I unlock the next sex scene with Android 18.” Sometimes the sandbox part feels less like a “world” and more like a small playground with a fence around it, but the loops of walking around, clicking, triggering small events, slowly unlocking more lewd stuff… it scratched that same spot as old flash games I used to sneak at school on shitty browsers.

I kinda love how messy it is. The romance tries to act sentimental for a second, then five lines later you’re face-fucking a milf with magic powers while she moans like someone recorded it in a bathroom on a cheap mic. Dialog swings from “I will guide the universe” to “fuck me harder” without the slightest shame. Exploration is simple, a little repetitive, but I still kept wandering, poking every corner hoping there’s a hidden event where Chi-Chi finally snaps and rides the protagonist like he’s the last Saiyan on earth. Some text sounds like it was written at midnight by a dude half-remembering DBZ arcs from YouTube AMVs, which, honestly, is the right energy. I do wish the world reacted more to what you do, like if you bang Bulma enough, Vegeta starts showing up mad or something, but I know that kind of feature is exactly the thing that stays in the dev’s “maybe later” notes forever. Still, when you’re watching Android 18 slowly drop to her knees after you save her in a fight and she rewards you with this sloppy, animated blowjob, with her tits barely contained and that quiet smug smile when she swallows, it hits the trashy, horny, teen-power-fantasy nerve in a very specific way. It’s not elegant. It’s not smart. It’s like a wet doujin turned half-game, half-daydream, and somehow that’s exactly why it sticks.