First thing that hit me with this one was that cheap Flash-era vibe in my head, even though it’s not Flash and I’m old for this crap. You get a Fairy Tail face, you get a big cock, you get a throat that is way too brave for a shonen anime girl, and that’s basically the whole religion here. It is a Super Deepthroat style thing, but stripped down, like someone took the original, ripped only the "make her choke on it" part, and said "yeah, that’s enough, who needs the rest". You don’t fiddle with ten menus and sliders, you just pick which familiar waifu will try not to puke on your imaginary dick. Lucy shows up with that cute, slutty smile like she lost another rent bet. Erza has that pissed off "this better be worth it" face while she buries her nose in your pelvis. Juvia looks like she’s about to melt from just tasting the tip. Meredy is the type you kinda forget exists until she suddenly has drool strings down her chin and you go "ah right, pink hair girl". Mavis looks too innocent for this and then she’s balls deep and your brain just switches off. No plot monologue, no fake romance, just throat abuse in cosplay.

What I like, and kinda hate at same time, is how the animation focuses on the ugly little details that most newer porn games skip because they wanna be "sexy" and not "messy". Here you get the neck bulge when the head goes all the way down, eyes going a bit cross when she hits that last inch, mascara-like lines even though it’s not really makeup, spit stretching between shaft and lips every time she pulls back for air. When she fails to take it all you hear that short gag sound, not too long, just enough to trigger that primitive part of your brain. Sometimes she powers through and swallows again, sometimes her tongue kind of spasms under the head and that is weirdly the best part. No one is talking, and honestly that makes it hotter, like it is pure job, nothing emotional, just "shove that thing in until it disappears". There is almost no variety if you look at it coldly, it is the same motion again and again, but then they make Lucy’s eyes water slightly faster than Erza’s, or Juvia’s lips stay wrapped tighter on the way up, and suddenly you’re spending way too long comparing imaginary blowjob technique like some porn nerd professor. I was half expecting some goofy magic effect, like Erza changing outfits mid throat, or Mavis glowing while she swallows, but no, it stays grounded in one single obsession: Fairy Tail girls used as cock sheaths. It’s lazy in a good way, focused like a pervert with tunnel vision, and if you ever played the old Super Deepthroat to practice timing your "finish" with the gag animation, you already know exactly what kind of degenerate rhythm this thing is tapping into.

Con-Quest is one of those horny little browser things that looks kind of silly at first, then three minutes later you’re way too invested in whether some half-naked Pikachu cosplayer is going to stomp you or blow you a kiss. It plays like an RPG that forgot to be serious, which is good, but if you care about accessibility like I do, it also kinda forgot blind and low-vision players exist. The whole game is just walls of small bright text on bright backgrounds, no text size slider, no contrast options, no colorblind presets, nothing. I tried zooming in with Chrome and Firefox, had to keep dragging the screen around like some weird porn spreadsheet. And yeah, I know, you came here to jerk off, not to read a UI audit, but still. When Vanilla storms around the convention hunting the money thief, you get these fun, snappy lines, but if you have any reading difficulty or ADHD it turns into “click, click, where was I again.” They sped up the text speed which sounds good, until your eyes are slower than the horny dialogue and you’re chasing every line like it is Snapchat. At least the animated portraits are nice and expressive, Ivy’s smug grin is perfect when she’s basically edging you with teasing comments, but they don’t help when you can’t tell which character is speaking because the name text is tiny and there is zero voice indication.

The lewd part is funny and stupid in a good way. You’re running around this con full of cosplayers who clearly did not come for child friendly content. There’s a Meowth girl who basically flirts by bullying you, dressed in ears, tail, tight little outfit that clings like latex, and the “reward” is you humiliating her through battle and then getting this multi-stage animated scene where she goes from cocky to absolutely ruined for you. It is not subtle. Pokemon parody everywhere, bootleg mons jokes, sexy Flygon girl pinned into this “oops I fell on you” pose, Mia and Nia doing this twin act that feels like it wants to be wholesome and still ends up about you undressing them with stickers. The sticker book is basically your porn gallery, of course, but cycling characters with keyboard or screen reader? Forget it. I tried NVDA and JAWS out of habit, they both just saw a pile of unlabeled buttons and decorative images. No alt text, no focus order that makes sense, just “button, button, button” so if you play by ear it is like trying to masturbate while somebody reads you the settings menu of Microsoft Word. The new second floor is fun to explore, the whole “Vanilla might have this thief killed” plot gives her a mean streak that is kinda hot, kinda scary, but if you’re sensitive to flicker or fast motion, the quick sliding portraits in dialogue and sudden UI shifts can be a bit much and there is no toggle. Funny thing is, they clearly know how to tweak code, optimize performance, hook up animated rewards, tease you with topless alt portraits, but a simple “bigger font” button or high-contrast mode is still missing. I keep grumbling about that while also chasing every new horny cosplayer quest like a dog with a bone, which probably says more about me than about the game.

This thing starts like some drunk tabletop campaign that got horny and never sobered up. Three cranky old spellcasters arguing in a tower about how huge the boobs should be on their “perfect” warrior, casting spells like kids tweaking sliders in a character creator, then years go by, everyone dies except one guy, and suddenly he’s stuck going to war with the walking, bouncing disaster they made together. And she really is a disaster in the best way: big armor that pretends to cover her, tits shoved up like they’re trying to escape the breastplate, thighs that look like they could crush demons or just sit on your face by accident. Half the time she looks like a holy knight, the other half like someone ripped pages from a dirty mage’s notebook and glued them onto a medieval codex.

The coolest part for me is when the fights stop feeling like simple fantasy “hit the goblin” stuff and turn into awkward flirting with extra steps. He throws spells, she charges in, something explodes, suddenly her clothes are shredded and he’s trying very hard to keep chanting while her nipples are basically waving hi to the entire battlefield. There’s this one sequence where they go into some ruined chapel, and the last surviving mage is trying to act serious, “battle, duty, honor” and all that, and she’s just leaning on her sword, sweat running between her breasts in slow drops, asking in this casual way if he “adjusted her stamina parameter back then for long sessions.” Completely normal sentence, absolutely filthy out of context. And the game knows it. It zooms in, lingers, makes him choke on his spell words, like the UI itself is horny and trolling you.

I kind of hate how clunky some bits feel in between all that. Dialogue jumps, some scenes cut like the dev sneezed on the keyboard and pressed skip, and there’s this one transition where it looks like she teleports across a room just so the camera can shove her ass in your face. It annoyed me for one second, then I caught myself staring at the jiggle and forgot what I was annoyed about. That happens a lot. I complain, then she does this slow armor removal, layer by layer, like she’s peeling herself out of a holy cosplay, and everything in my brain just goes quiet except “oh, fuck.” The last mage is the worst liar, by the way. He keeps talking about “strategy” and “tactics” while clearly ogling his own creation, and the game makes you sit right there inside his head as he tries to focus on fireballs while her pussy’s practically framed by broken plate and glowing runes. It’s kind of stupid. It’s kind of hot. It feels exactly like some horny wizard spent too long alone in his tower and decided his ultimate weapon needed ridiculous curves, zero realistic armor, and a battle style that looks like an excuse to get railed between fights.

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