Feels weird to call Parasite Black a “game” when half the time it feels more like some horny, cursed holiday special I accidentally made into a tradition. I’m doing this goofy calendar-board thing on my stream where each day gets a theme, and this one ended up in the “Evil Santa’s Mistake” slot. Fits too well. You’re this poor bastard who survives a suicide mission and comes back with something inside you that really shouldn’t be there, and from that point on Mirnos basically turns into one huge “how ruined can this guy’s body and morals get” experiment. One second you’re plotting turn order in combat, next second you’re watching a milf sorceress ride you while her lactation literally stains the screen and you forget there was a fight at all. Not even joking, I missed a button prompt because I got distracted by jiggle physics and a smug dialogue line about “needing to relieve the pressure.”

What I liked is how filthy moments sneak in sideways. You open the map thinking “ok, sandbox, explore a bit, maybe loot,” and then some corrupted nun-type offers “blessings” that are basically: blow the holy guy, get tentacle’d behind the altar, then end up in a threesome where you kind of lose track who has a dick and who has a spell. There’s futa in there, but it isn’t thrown at you like a big neon sign. It just shows up in the middle of a foursome and you go “oh, ok, that’s happening now,” and it works. Same with the voyeur stuff: I was just checking a room for loot and accidentally triggered a scene where an older queen-ish gilf is getting railed by her guard, and the game straight up asks if I want to watch or join. Picked watch first, because of course I did. Regretted and didn’t regret at the same time. And the pregnancy angle sneaks up too: after enough raw fucking, some characters start talking about “consequences” and suddenly the netori scene you thought was just you banging a guy’s wife has real fallout showing up later in dialogue. That part actually stung more than I expected.

Combat is turn based but not sleepy. You actually think about who to target, where to burn skills, and there’s this fun tension because you know if you win there’s a decent chance the reward is someone stripping, someone getting their ass used, or some monster using your new “gift” in ways that are definitely not approved by any fantasy church. Sometimes fights drag a bit and I just wanted to skip to the anal or the harem event I knew was sitting behind it, especially when some early mobs feel like HP sponges. And yeah, a few routes are more polished than others. You notice it when one milf gets a full animated riding scene with different speed cycles, but the random village girl just gets a quick blowjob loop and a line that reads like a first draft. Didn’t stop me from reloading to see if I could corrupt her more though. Playing on phone is way too easy, by the way. I was on a fake “bathroom break” at work, thumb-tapping through strategy choices and then suddenly there’s this animated tentacle thing spreading a knight’s ass, and I’m speed-hitting the screen like I’m messaging on Telegram so no one walking by hears the audio. Audio that is a bit uneven, by the way, like moans are hot but some lines feel like they were recorded with different mics. Still, when you end up in a harem pile with a big-tits demon, a pregnant ex-priestess and a snarky futa elf arguing over who gets your cock first while the world is literally being eaten around you, you kind of forget to be picky. I just wish the calendar had a “too horny to function” day, because that’s where this thing belongs.

Danny McCroy feels like that dude you see in a bar on a Tuesday afternoon, a little too confident, a little too horny, and somehow the universe keeps putting wet, messy situations in his lap. The game throws you into his skin and just lets you stumble from one filthy encounter to another with barely any attempt to pretend this is “wholesome romance”. You get a bit of story, some light plot about his life, but honestly it’s just scaffolding so he can end up face-first between someone’s thighs or buried in a thick ass that probably defies physics. I kinda respect that. It’s like the dev looked at subtlety and just said “nah, we’re here to make your dick do the thinking”. You click through dialog, tease a bit, pick some horny options, and suddenly he’s got his tongue in places and his hands in places and occasionally both at once. When the first scene where he actually goes down on her happened, the build up was just enough to make it feel earned, but not so long that I opened Twitter from boredom. Good balance, for someone clearly very focused on holes.

What surprised me most is how unashamedly the game treats older women. The MILF in here isn’t just a side dish, she walks into the room and everything kind of rearranges itself around her tits and her ass like gravity got confused. She’s not written like some fragile mom fantasy either. She’s bossy, a bit mean, and when Danny finally gets between her legs, it feels like he’s working for it, tongue doing overtime while she pulls his hair like a handle. The scene where she makes him focus on her first, riding his face and grinding till he’s basically suffocating in pussy, was way better than I expected. Then later, when she casually reaches for a toy from the bedside drawer like she’s done this a thousand times, and tells him to keep going while she fills herself even deeper, that’s the moment I sort of forgot I was “reviewing” anything. The pacing there hits that sweet spot where you’re half annoyed by how long she teases and then suddenly he’s stretching her with his hand, knuckles disappearing, and you just think, yeah, that escalated nicely.

The game does have this thing where it really wants Danny to be a universal key that fits every lock. Younger girl, older woman, tight body, big tits, asian beauty with that careful makeup and soft voice that hides a real nasty side once she spreads her legs. He somehow always has the same cocky grin, whether he’s licking slow up a slit, tongue circling the clit, or he’s pushing in from behind and staring at the way her ass bounces when he slams her. There’s an anal scene where she pretends to resist at first, just a little, then that first moment when he pushes past and her face shifts from “no way” to “oh fuck” is honestly the best expression work in the whole thing. I wish they had that level of attention on every scene, but then there are moments where dialog feels like it was written in a rush, like a bad porn title got turned into a line. Still, when he’s got a toy buzzing on her clit while he fucks her from behind, watching her tits sway and her ass shake, it all sort of melts together into this messy, dirty, low-class kind of hot. It’s not elegant. It’s not trying to be. It’s like Danny’s whole world is just mouths, tits, asses, and holes to fill, and honestly, sometimes that’s enough.

Everything in this game starts with that awkward feeling of coming back to a place that’s supposed to be “home” but actually feels like a porn parody of your own memories. You’re this guy who returns to his old city for college, carrying some emotional baggage, a phone that never stops buzzing, and a dick that gets him in trouble every ten minutes. It pretends to be a normal school slice-of-life at first, like “oh, classes, dorms, new people”, then suddenly you’re in a party bathroom getting a messy drunk blowjob from someone whose name you don’t even remember, while your in-game notifications keep reminding you you’ve got an exam tomorrow. There’s this really specific vibe: half coming-of-age, half “how fast can I ruin this dude’s life with bad choices and hot people”. And honestly, it works. Mostly.

The game lets you wander around the campus and the city, so you bump into scenes instead of having them thrown in your face in a straight line. One time I just went to the gym because I was bored and somehow ended up peeking through a tiny window into the staff shower, watching a thick Black PE teacher wash off after practice, her ass taking up half the screen while the protagonist slowly strokes himself. That voyeur stuff is handled in a really messy, human way. He feels like a perv, not a hero, and it’s kind of hot and kind of gross at the same time. Then later, if you actually talk to her and don’t act like a total creep, there’s this whole slow-burn thing where she teases him in class, does the “lean on your desk so her tits are in your face” routine, and eventually you end up railroading her in the equipment closet, switching between titjob and deepthroat while she keeps calling you “kid” like that is not making it hotter. The animation is unpolished, some loops are clumsy, but the body language sells the scene better than a lot of big-budget stuff. Faces actually show embarrassment, annoyance, or that “okay, fine, I want this too” kind of look. Then in the very next scene, the MC has this overconfident smirk that made me want to slap him. I liked him and hated him in the same click.

What’s very queer in spirit, even if the content is straight-focused, is how the game doesn’t pretend sex exists in a bubble. You’re not just picking “blowjob” from a menu. You text girls on your phone, get weird drunk voice notes, and watch them shitpost memes on their in-game social app. There’s this one storyline with a mixed-race classmate who deals weed on the side to pay rent. You can either be judgy or join her little side hustle. I went full disaster and helped her. There’s a scene in her cramped room where you’re both high, music from her shitty Bluetooth speaker buzzing, and the conversation just slides from “what are you running from” into her sitting on your face. It’s not some perfect porn angle; her thighs cover half the screen, her belly jiggles a bit, and the camera awkwardly moves when she grinds too hard. Then she pulls off your pants and lazily strokes you, gives you this sloppy half-committed blowjob, almost like she’s testing how much you can take. If you push your luck, she just climbs on and rides you raw while laughing about how terrible your pull-out reflex is. The creampie is framed as both hot and kinda stupid, and the next morning she’s texting about Plan B and money while you’re still replaying the way she shivered when you came inside her. Romance and drama get tangled with all the dirt: arguments in the cafeteria, jealous looks in the hallway, a “friendly” handjob under the table that clearly isn’t just friendly. Sometimes the combat bits feel random, like “oh, now we’re suddenly punching some asshole at a club”, but the bruise on your face shows up in the next scene where some girl licks your busted lip before going down on you, so at least the game remembers. I just wish the bathroom doors didn’t all open the same way; it bothered me for no reason, and now it lives rent free in my brain. Anyway. The whole thing feels unstable, horny, queer in its messiness, and a little too honest about how sex, drugs, and bad choices mix together when you’re pretending to be an adult.

Thomas is that kind of guy every Overwatch nerd pretended to be back when D.Va voice lines were stuck in our heads all day. Except here he actually did it. He is in the team, he sleeps in her bed, he knows exactly how loud she moans when you pull her pigtails and shove her face into the mattress. On paper the relationship looks perfect: famous Korean mecha princess, loyal boyfriend, fans screaming her name on Twitch while she rides his cock after a match like it is just another ranked game. But there is this tiny itch under his skin, like when Battle.net lags right when you ult. Everything is good, nothing is wrong, and yet he wants more. Dirtier. Meaner. Less “idol” and more “cum toy with cute cheeks”.

Then that weird mail shows up, like spam you should ignore but you click it anyway because horniness beats common sense every single time. It is not some big magic ritual or epic prophecy nonsense, it is more like someone slid a cheat menu into his life. One by one, the little options open up. Lower her shame. Boost her arousal in public. Crank up obedience when you whisper in her ear. And you just watch this bright, cocky pro gamer girl, who talks trash in voice chat and winks at cameras, slowly start blushing when you tell her to go out without panties under that tiny skirt. At first she protests, acts all “babo, we can’t, the fans!” and then she is sitting on your lap in the parked car, skirt hiked up, drooling around your dick while people walk right past the tinted window. That moment when she looks up with full ahegao eyes, lipstick smeared, and you realize she is way more into humiliation than she wants to admit, hits harder than any highlight reel.

The fun part is how it mixes the silly parody vibe with really rough stuff. One scene she is doing her cutesy “Nerf this!” type voice while riding a vibrating toy you control from your phone, pretending it is just “training gear” for long matches. The next night you have her tied up in some basement that looks way too close to a practice room, wrists burning against ropes, ass already red from spanking, and you are forcing her to count every slap in broken English while she tries not to scream your name. She cheats on you and it is still your win, because you ordered it. You push her into these messed up “swinging” setups where her so‑called allies get a taste of her, but she is trained so well that she only cums when you tell her she is allowed. The anal scenes hit weird too; the first time she is so proud and cocky, saying she can “tank anything”, then three thrusts later she is babbling like a drunk support player, clutching at you, mascara running, begging you not to film it while you obviously already did. Some bits are slow, like a ranked queue on a dead server, and sometimes the jokes miss, but then there is that one moment where she walks out on stage, still wet from the sex toy hidden inside her, winking at the crowd while you raise the vibration level on your phone, and suddenly all the little rough edges of the game feel on purpose.