Crossunder Academy looks at you and goes, “yeah, you’re the new kid, you don’t know shit, but here, have power anyway.” You roll in thinking it’s just another school VN with some tits glued on, and then they throw you into the Student Council and suddenly you’re the class president, fake tie, fake responsibilities, and very real chances to fuck half the campus if you don’t screw it up. It starts tame, like a dating sim pretending to be serious: club budgets, school events, that kind of filler. Then you figure out every boring “proposal” conversation is basically foreplay. The shy club rep who wants more money for “equipment” leans over your desk a bit too far, blouse a little too tight, and you’ve got the classic choice pop-up: act professional, tease her, or slide right into horny territory and test how far she’s willing to go to get that funding. You know which one you click. Don’t lie.

The fun part is how it mixes the puzzle feeling with porn without turning into some clicker trash. You’re not matching gems or anything stupid like that, you’re juggling scenes. Say the wrong thing to one girl and she gets jealous when you’re alone with her teacher later, and suddenly that nice slow blowjob under the desk becomes “sorry, I can’t, people will talk.” Say the right thing and the same teacher is on her knees, glasses fogged up, working your cock like she’s grading on a curve. Some routes feel like you’re solving a horny jigsaw puzzle with horny pieces. You’re planning event schedules while secretly thinking, “ok, if Hermione-clone student nerd and that thick aunt-looking lunch lady are both there, can I push them into some exhibitionist shit?” and sometimes the game actually lets you pull it off. There are moments where the camera settles into POV and it’s just you, her big tits pressed right into the frame, your cock between them for a messy titfuck, and the sound design goes from cartoony to “oh, someone actually cared here.” Then next scene a different girl is doing this ahegao face like she’s auditioning for a meme compilation and it almost kills the mood, but you keep clicking because, well, creampie counter is not going to fill itself.

It leans hard into the fantasy faculty and campus girls archetypes. You’ve got the prim bookworm who clearly wants to be ruined in the library after hours, the fake innocent student council girl who’s absolutely into groping behind closed doors, the curvy “tradwife” type who talks about cooking and chores while riding you raw, and that one busty older woman that might as well have “MILF” written on her forehead. Half the time you’re trying to act like a respectable president in meetings, half the time you’re lining up which corridor to “inspect” so you can corner someone and see how far she’ll go if the hallway cameras are “mysteriously” off. There’s teasing everywhere, a little too much sometimes: she’s in your lap, skirt hiked up, grinding on you, moaning in your ear about how wrong it is in a school setting, and the scene still stalls until you pick the right dialog line before it lets you finally push inside. When it does click though, the game doesn’t flinch: deep throat, sloppy oral, thick ass bouncing in your lap, cum inside, cum outside, cum on her face while she’s making that stupid cross-eyed expression. It’s messy, a bit goofy, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky as fuck, but it feels like an actual degenerate school fantasy where your choices matter just enough to make you paranoid you missed one more filthy route.

Didn’t expect a parody game about cartoon moms and princesses to hit that weird sweet spot between trashy and oddly sincere, but here we are. It starts all innocent - bright colors, the kind of smooth animation that screams “safe for work” for about five seconds before the camera decides it’s not. The first scene with Violet trying to figure herself out (and failing, spectacularly) caught me off guard. She fumbles, she blushes, she *asks questions* like a real person instead of a scripted puppet. Then Helen shows up, and the tone flips. Suddenly it’s not awkward anymore, it’s charged - like someone turned the thermostat up but forgot to tell the characters. I laughed once, then shut up quick. Didn’t expect to feel anything, honestly.

The transitions are too slow, though. Like, you can feel the kinetic novel format dragging its feet sometimes, holding poses too long between lines. But the writing sneaks up on you - it’s not clever, but it’s self-aware enough to poke fun at itself. Elsa and Anna showing up later? Total chaos. The kind of chaos that makes you question who’s actually in control - the player, the “director,” or the girls themselves just deciding they’re done pretending. There’s one scene - you’ll know when you see it - where everything goes from soft kisses to something much rougher, and you can practically hear the line snapping between “curious” and “corrupted.” And yeah, the POV angles are shameless, but that’s kind of the point. It’s not pretending to be art, even when it accidentally becomes it for a frame or two.

What sticks isn’t the sex (though, okay, the anal bit was animated way too well for a parody). It’s that weird emotional aftertaste - like watching a bootleg Disney ending where nobody gets redeemed, they just get *real*. The soundtrack fades out, the light lingers on sweat-slick skin, and you realize the game never promised catharsis, just exposure. And somehow, that’s more honest than most “serious” adult titles trying to act profound.

This thing hits you in the face right away. You open it and the game just starts calling you a pathetic virgin like it knows what tabs you had open before. Male protagonist, first year uni in late 90s Wales, stuck in that ugly campus mix of shitty carpet, nicotine stains, and horny brain. Everyone thinks you will die alone, and frankly the game agrees. Then the goth girl walks in like a walking middle finger to your self-esteem. Tall, boots, chains, black lipstick that looks like it tastes of smoke and cheap vodka. She is not your cute “secretly soft” goth. She is full female domination mode. She enjoys humiliating you, and the game really lets her. Public teasing in hallways, denial until you literally beg, exhibitionism moments where she pushes you close to being seen, and then pulls away only to grind on someone actually confident while you watch from the corner. If you hate netorare, this is a hate crime. If you like it, you will have your hand on your phone more than on your textbook.

What caught me off guard is how the corruption is not only sexual but social. The more you let her step on you, the more other people on campus join the act, and the POV stuff gets nasty. You see her big ass riding someone else through a cracked door while you are forced to hold her bag like an idiot. Or she sends you pics of her sucking off a dude from the football team, with your unread essays visible on your desk in the background. There is voyeurism everywhere, even when you are not the viewer. Sometimes you are the thing being watched: being paraded around as the loser virgin toy in a group chat that you are not even allowed to post in. The game even throws a milf teacher at you, but in that mean way, like, you think “finally, someone kind” and suddenly you are watching her get pounded by a classmate while she grades your paper with a red pen and one hand on his abs. The humor is cruel and honestly kind of funny, like that scene where your phone autocorrects “please” to “pee” while you are begging her to let you cum, and she just runs with it in a way I am still slightly disturbed by. There is a whole mobile phone layer built into the game, with apps that feel suspiciously like WhatsApp and Instagram where you keep scrolling old chats trying to find where exactly your dignity died, then getting distracted by AI generated CG of her in a “maybe pregnant, maybe not” ending that hits way harder than it should. I still cannot forgive the tiny thing where notification sounds are slightly off from real apps and my brain kept twitching every single time, but yeah, I kept playing anyway.

The first thing I thought after a few minutes was - why does it feel like a fever dream made by someone who got lost between a lab manual and a wet dream? The tone is weirdly confident, like the game knows it’s absurd and just leans into it. One moment you’re staring at a microscope screen, the next a pair of soft giggles echo in your ear and you forget there’s supposed to be *science* involved. The twins - god, they’re both trouble in different flavors. The older one pretends she’s got morals, the younger one pretends nothing at all matters. They circle you like cats, teasing until you can’t tell who’s leading anymore. It’s the kind of harem setup that should feel predictable, but doesn’t, because everyone acts like they’ve read too many philosophy posts on Twitter and now weaponize flirting as research.

There’s this one scene - animated in that slow, almost-too-smooth way - where she’s trying to keep a serious conversation while her hand is very much *not* serious, and you can feel the POV shake like the dev forgot to stabilize it. It’s oddly intimate, messy even, which I liked more than I expected. The humor sneaks in during those in-between breaths; the hero mutters something about “empirical data” right before a creampie moment, and it’s so dumb it becomes sexy again. Sometimes the pacing flatlines, like the game just needed a cigarette break. Other times it spikes into this blurry intensity that makes you forget your phone is heating up in your hand. I still don’t get the romance angle though - it’s half sincere, half ironic, like everyone’s pretending not to be lonely while naked.

I keep thinking how the visuals give everyone that soft plastic shine, but I don’t even care after a while. The dialogue is clumsy and weirdly poetic, like it was translated by someone half-drunk on dopamine. There’s a virgin subplot I wanted to hate, but then it turns awkward and human and suddenly I did care. I started imagining sketching the twins, one smirking, one looking away, both glowing under fake lab light. Maybe that’s the spell - it’s trashy and stupid and kind of brilliant.