Become Alpha is a porn game with tons of memes, kickass branching storyline, quests, RPG-like experience system, and a possibility to have sex with many partners. It's also pretty damn funny. The story is about Harry Panuchkin who's a nerd and a wannabe gangster. He has a big dick, but never actually used it. It's your job to help him get the pussy and make him a proper alpha male, that he always wanted to be.

It’s a weird kind of wrong that feels almost too confident about itself. The game just throws you right into this hotel-room-styled tension between Ben and Gwen, like there’s no excuse, no build-up, just quiet breathing and the kind of slow curiosity that only gets worse the more you watch. The control scheme is barely there - you think you’re just clicking around to peek, but then you’re moving hands and lips like you’re trying to pass off an accident as an experiment. The pacing makes it feel like time stretches sideways. There’s that one moment where Gwen turns, half-asleep, and it’s not clear if she knows what’s happening, and you catch yourself leaning closer like a total creep. God help me, I think that’s intentional.

Half the time the audio feels too loud, but maybe that’s the point - it’s not polished, like it’s meant to break the “cartoon world” with uncomfortable realism. The blowjob scene looks like it was stitched together by someone who didn’t care about pretty, just raw motion, the way her throat tightens around him while he mutters things that sound more like apologies than dirty talk. And then when you switch to doggystyle, yeah it’s cliché, but the way the lighting flickers - it’s distracting as hell and, weirdly, kind of hypnotic. The game’s rhythm keeps screwing with you: it slows down on the heavy stuff like missionary creampie and then speeds up when you least expect, like the code itself is embarrassed about what it’s showing. I got annoyed at that. Then again, maybe that’s why I didn’t stop.

You can tell whoever made this knew exactly what nostalgia they were playing with, too. There’s this sick mix of childhood memory and adult hunger that no one wants to admit enjoying. Kind of like watching something too close to a secret. The handjob bit feels almost shy, then the facial lands out of nowhere, breaking the build-up in the most abrupt, stupidly real way. I hate that it worked. I hate that my mouse hand twitched even after the final loop restarted. If that’s not the most human reaction, I don’t know what is.

This thing feels like somebody took a horny fever dream from Twitter, mixed it with an old Flash porn game, then actually remembered to add menus and sliders. You start as this clueless “master” dumped into a sticky pink dungeon that looks like a cosplay backstage after a con went really wrong. The nekogirl maid they give you at the start is cute in that manufactured PinkTea way, with big wet eyes and ears that twitch every time you click something. The first time I opened the options I laughed because the game clearly wants you to go straight for punishing her and breaking her in, but the menu is hiding way more important stuff than the story does. Little toggles for text speed, basic volume, some half-assed subtitle style, but nothing for colorblind people, no font scaling, no proper key remapping. I played on a Chromebook at work with one earbud and had to squint at the dialogue while she was literally begging to be fed cum like it was the only food in the world.

The actual scenes are filthy in a fun trashy way. They lean hard into “maid as property” and “pet girl to be trained” so if you like that whole sex slave training fantasy, yeah, it goes there. There is this feeding system where you don’t just fuck her, you keep giving her “treats” and “meals” that are basically different ways to pour fluids into her. Sometimes she’s on her knees in that tight maid dress, holding the tray, drool on her chin, ears shaking while you decide if you wanna be nice or just grab her hair and use her mouth like a warm onahole. Other times you cage her in a dungeon cell, chain on her neck, and she leans against the bars, nipples poking through the frilly fabric, asking if she was a good cat and if you’ll let her lick you clean. The first orgasm scene where she squirts while still trying to say “Welcome home, Master” felt almost too on the nose, but I still replayed it three times. Somehow the camera focus is fine, the sound is dirty enough, but then you hit an interface wall: you can’t resize the text box, the font is thin and low contrast on some backgrounds, and keyboard controls get ignored in some menus like the dev got bored mid-feature and went back to drawing tits.

I tested it with NVDA on Windows and Chrome’s built-in screen reader on Android, and it’s rough. The buttons are mostly unlabeled for assistive tech, so the whole “training schedule” screen is just a bunch of “button, button, button” when you tab through. Try setting up a sequence of punishments and rewards when you can’t even tell which button starts the blowjob scene and which one opens the goddamn gallery. Also you can’t navigate scenes properly with only keyboard, since some choices only react to mouse hover and not focus, which is ridiculous in a game where half the fun is choosing how hard to push your neko maid. There is no way to change text size for people with low vision, no high contrast option, and the UI uses pastel on pastel like it wants to be cute more than readable. That said, I still lost track of time watching the scene where she’s on all fours, tail plug in, maid skirt flipped up, you grab her hips and hammer her while she meows through the gag, and I forgot I was annoyed at the lack of remap options. I keep wishing there was a simple “accessibility” tab with bigger fonts, strong outlines, proper labels, but I know it will probably never show up in a porn dungeon where the priority is making the neko girl choke on cum instead of letting more people actually play it.

Kasumi Rebirth feels like catching someone’s private mod folder that accidentally got pushed live and nobody had the heart to stop it. It’s just Kasumi, chained up, not doing the “cool ninja” thing at all, and the whole game is basically you seeing how far you can push her body before you get bored or feel weird about yourself. She hangs there in those metal restraints, soft skin, big tits squeezed by the outfit that you immediately start ripping off, because of course you do. There is no fake romance, no “story” pretending this isn’t what it is. You poke her, grab her, slide hands over her tits, pinch her nipples a bit too hard, then harder, just to see if the reaction changes. It turns into this quiet little lab experiment: what if I put fingers in her pussy first, then in her ass, then both, then ignore both and just use her tits like they are toys made of warm jelly. The game doesn’t judge. It just lets you be a freak in peace.

The main loop of Kasumi Rebirth is strangely hypnotic: click, drag, spread her legs, tilt her hips, line her up for doggystyle, then get distracted and go back to playing with her mouth. You pull her head back, slide a dildo between her lips, watch those eyes say everything without a single line of dialog. Deepthroat her with plastic, then switch holes like a bored god with too much free time. Pussy, ass, mouth, back to pussy, then push it in her asshole again just because you like the way she tightens around it. You can masturbate her slowly, tease her clit until she twitches, then ram something inside and go straight for a rough creampie like the concept of foreplay never existed. Cumshots on her face, on her breasts, slipping down her body, and at some point I tried to see if I could cover both tits perfectly and got annoyed because one drop kept sliding off the side in a stupid way that distracted me more than it should. There is also this breast expansion thing going on that feels like someone’s late-night fever dream: you start tweaking and pumping and suddenly her big tits are not just big, they are ridiculous, heavy, almost comical, but somehow it works because this game stopped pretending to be “normal” a long time ago. It is rough, it is ***-y, it is torture dressed up as “gentle play”, and yet the whole thing has this old-school Internet porn game energy that makes you keep testing one more position, one more angle, one more messy facial, just to see how far Kasumi’s body can be turned into a toy before you finally close the tab and swear you’re done with Dead or Alive girls forever.