Fucking 3DCG man. Every time I think maybe this time the weird shiny skin won't bother me, and every time I'm wrong. The waitress character, Natalie I think her name is, her face looks like a melted candle in half the gifs. And there are so many gifs. The creator really leaned into that instead of actual writing, pages and pages of this glossy mannequin moving like she's underwater. It's supposed to be a night club but the lighting never changes from this flat grey, like a gym locker room after hours. I don't know what "real model" means in the tags but nobody in this looks real.

The second I met Tang, this domme character, I knew where it was going. She tells you to strip in her apartment and the whole thing is just clicking through photos of her in a red corset while text boxes explain how pathetic you are. Standard humiliation stuff, but it cuts to a handjob gif that loops after three seconds and just... stays there. I watched it loop twelve times before I realized nothing else was happening. You gotta click the tiny arrow hidden in the corner. Who designed this. At one point you're doing anal with her and the game asks if you feel "the change" and I laughed out loud with my dick in my hand, which is probably not what they wanted.

Then there's Penny. The ABDL stuff comes out of nowhere, one minute you're just some 21 year old graduate trying to make money, next she's putting you in a diaper with a pacifier. The gifs for this section are somehow even lower resolution, like they were compressed on a phone from 2016. I couldn't stop noticing her hair clipping through her shoulder. It's all still there though, the titjob scene with the baby bottle nearby, the whole thing so surreal I just kept clicking. Can't say I wasn't... engaged. The sissy path with Natalie has this one moment with sex toys that actually got me, the way the text described her fingering your ass while calling you a good girl, even though her 3D model has dead eyes the whole time. I finished anyway.

I wish there was a way to just stay with one girl but the game keeps dragging you between all three, the transformation tags just piling up until you're whatever they need you to be. No my own choices don't matter, I get that's the point of femdom but still. Would I open it again. Maybe for the mistress scenes. Those at least know what they're doing.

Alright, right into it. The animation for the blowjob scene. That one with the aunt character, the milf tag isn't lying, she's got these massive tits that just sort of... float. They don't move with the rest of her. It's like two water balloons suspended in a zero-gravity chamber while her head bobs. Spent way too long staring at that, not in a hot way, more like a scientist observing a flawed experiment. The pov angle makes it weirder, you're just a silent pair of eyes and a dick watching this physics-defying spectacle.

So the plot is this kid goes to his aunt's for summer, right. Meets some mysterious girls, classic setup. Then they all go out of town and it turns into a horror mystery. I think? The english is rough, real rough, like translated through three different apps and then back again. Sometimes a character says something and I just had to guess the meaning from the vibes. The big ass on one of the girls is impressive but the 3dcg models all have this same plastic sheen, like they're coated in a thin layer of oil even when they're not supposed to be. There's a mystery, terrible events, your choices matter, all that. I got a game over screen and genuinely had no idea what choice I made wrong. The horror bits are mostly just dark rooms and a sudden loud noise that clipped my speakers.

Then you get to the sex. Vaginal scenes feel disconnected from the adventure part, like you're playing a different game for five minutes. It's animated, but it loops in a way that's more hypnotic than arousing. You watch the same thrust repeat, waiting for the next story beat. The male protag is a total blank slate, which I guess is the point for pov stuff, but he makes the dumbest decisions in the mystery parts. I wish the mystery was harder to figure out, but it won't be. The whole thing runs in a browser and it crashed once when I tried to reload a checkpoint, lost ten minutes of clicking through stilted dialogue. The tit physics, man. They haunt me.

Right, another one of those proof of concept things that's basically a fap snack. Eternal Bonds, the full game, isn't out yet. This prequel is a kinetic novel, so you're just clicking through, no choices, which honestly my brain appreciates after a day of spreadsheets. The 3dcg is deliberately unpolished, a bit stiff, but it has that weird charm like those early renders people used to post on forums. Uncanny valley but make it horny.

The setup is a male protagonist, some kind of flashback to a beach trip. My guy is basically a void with a dick, which is standard. The whole thing is about his girlfriend, I think. She's in full exhibitionism mode, getting herself off on the sand right there, then it moves to a pretty detailed handjob.

Fucking Sarena. I mean, the whole point is getting to Sarena, right? That orange-haired Kalos queen with the ribbon and the eyes that say she's seen your browser history and isn't even mad. The game knows what you're here for. It's not subtle. You click through these puzzles, these weird little sliding tile things or whatever, and every time you solve one, another piece of her clothing just... evaporates. Poof. Like magic but better. The AI-generated art has that slightly glossy, too-smooth look, like someone fed a thousand rule34 posts into a blender and hit frappe. Sometimes her fingers look weird. You won't care.

Ash is there too, I guess. Being Ash. Making that dumb face he makes when he's about to win a badge or walk directly into a Team Rocket trap. The combat, if you can call it that, is just more puzzles. Match some icons, watch a health bar go down, get rewarded with Sarena bending over in a way that defies both anatomy and the laws of physics. The dialogue is pure parody, the kind of stuff you'd read on a forum at 2am and snort at. "I choose you, Pikachu!" but it's not Pikachu he's choosing, if you catch my drift. And then the happy ending. Literally. The description promises it and it delivers, no fakeouts, no "to be continued" bullshit.

The 2D segments mixed with the 3DCG is jarring as hell though. Like someone couldn't decide if they wanted a visual novel or a low-budget hentai cutscene and just said fuck it, both. The romance is about as deep as a puddle but who's here for poetry? You're here to see Sarena's tits and the game knows it. The humor lands maybe half the time, the rest is just... there. But when it hits, when Ash says something so stupidly in-character while Sarena's top is literally vanishing, you'll laugh. You'll feel a little ashamed. You'll click the next puzzle anyway.

Futa Healthcare is a mess. A horny, unpolished, sometimes baffling mess that I kept clicking through anyway. The renders look like someone learned Blender last month and decided to render on a potato, but there's this one scene with the head nurse, a towering futa with tits that defy physics, where the lighting actually kinda works and you see what they were going for. Then the next scene the doctor's hand clips through a desk and you remember this is early access in the most brutal sense.

The whole setup is this young guy joining a clinic that specializes in futa care. Noble intentions, sure, but five minutes in he's getting a handjob from a patient and the pretense drops hard. The dialogue is pure porn logic. A nurse needs a "sample" and suddenly there's a prostate exam happening. The futa on male stuff is aggressive, lots of forced moans and that weird squelching sound effect that loops badly. But then there's a futa on futa scene with a doctor and patient that has this slow, teasing build up, lots of groping through that tight uniform, and the animation, while janky, has this one loop where the dom just grinds against the other girl's ass and the expression work is surprisingly decent. Like, actually hot for a second before the audio desyncs.

The parody elements are thin. It's a hospital. They wear vaguely medical outfits. That's it. The incest tag is there for a side character who might be the protagonist's mom, a milf doctor who does a solo masturbation scene with a toy that looks like it was modeled from memory. Exhibitionism pops up in a hallway scene that makes zero logical sense but hey, it's a game about futa nurses draining patients, logic left the building ages ago. The multiple protagonist thing is weird too, you switch perspectives without warning and suddenly you're the one getting pegged. It's disorienting in a way that's almost artsy if you squint. Almost.

Wish the oral sex scenes had more variety. It's the same bobbing animation recycled across three characters. But that one anal scene with the interracial couple, the futa on female one, has this raw energy the rest of the game lacks. The teasing mechanic is just clicking through text, no real choices, but the writing during those moments has this playful, mean edge that works. Then it's back to stilted dialogue about "healthcare." The game doesn't know if it wants to be a joke or take its fetish seriously and honestly, neither do I.

The snow outside the window isn't real. I stared at it for maybe five minutes before realizing the texture just loops, a flat jpg stretched across a polygon. Matt's supposed to be home after some big military tragedy, but the New Year's party is already happening and his sister's ass is literally the first thing the camera focuses on. Not subtle. The 3DCG models have that plastic sheen, skin like melted candles, but somehow the jiggle physics on the monster girl later got me. Don't ask me why.

You click through dialogue. You make choices that supposedly matter. I picked something dumb about fireworks and ended up in a scene with an aunt character who had no business wearing that dress. The netorare tag is there, lurking, but it's not in your face yet. It's more like a smell. Something wrong in the next room. The paranormal stuff creeps in slow, a shadow that doesn't match any character model, and then suddenly you're fucking a ghost with proportions that defy the already questionable anatomy of the living cast. The incest thread is tangled through everything, unspoken but obvious, the way Matt's mom looks at him during the countdown scene. I kept clicking. The adventure elements are basically just walking between rooms, but one room had a monster with big tits and I laughed out loud. Not because it was funny. Because I was hard.

The special episode framing is thin. New Year's hats on characters who were just talking about societal collapse. The contrast is jarring in a way that loops back around to working. There's a moment where you can choose to go outside alone and the snow jpg is still there, still fake, but the silence before a tentacle thing appears actually landed. I forgot to mention the romance. It's there, I guess, if you squint. More like transactional affection with extra steps. The big ass tag delivers. Repeatedly. I'm still thinking about the aunt.

Beautyfield's got that crusty Ren'py skeleton underneath but who gives a shit when the neighbor lady's tits are literally leaking through her shirt at breakfast. You know the type. She bends over to pick up a spoon and the whole screen becomes a physics demo. The 3DCG models are janky in that specific way where faces look like melted dolls but bodies got all the rendering budget. Grandpa's house is full of opportunities and by opportunities I mean doors left slightly open while someone's changing.

The sandbox part is funny. You click around this sleepy little town and somehow every woman between 20 and 50 has nothing better to do than get stuck in washing machines or lose their keys under the couch. Your character is supposedly a virgin but the dialogue options make him sound like he's been studying pick up artist forums since birth. There's this one scene where you're just supposed to be grabbing something from a high shelf and it turns into a whole groping minigame. No explanation. Just hands everywhere. The voyeurism stuff is baked right into the map design, windows conveniently placed, fences with gaps, a telescope that definitely wasn't bought for stargazing.

The lactation tag isn't just for show either. It's not some unlockable side thing, it's front and center in like the second scene with the main milf. If that's your jam you'll be eating good. If not, well, too bad because the game doesn't really give you a toggle for that. Wish the incest undertones were actually undertones instead of being so vague it's almost cowardly. She's your step something, maybe, the game keeps it fuzzy like it's scared of its own tags. Just commit to the bit. The adventure elements are mostly walking from point A to point B to trigger the next animated loop. Not complaining though. Sometimes you just want to turn off your brain and watch big tits bounce while a teenager with the confidence of a seasoned pornstar smooth talks his way through the entire neighborhood.

I spent twenty minutes just watching the neighbor through her window. Not even touching anything, just... watching. She was doing yoga or something, those slow stretches where her ass just fills the whole screen. The game didn't rush me. No timer, no "move along" prompt. Just her, in those tiny shorts, bending forward. I think I forgot to blink.

The sandbox thing means you can just... exist in this world. Creep around. Find angles. There's this one MILF, the one with the ridiculous chest, she sunbathes every afternoon. I positioned the camera behind a fence and just zoomed in on her oiled up tits for what felt like forever. The animation is janky sometimes, her hand clips through her thigh when she adjusts her top, but honestly? I didn't care. The jank almost makes it hotter. Like catching something you shouldn't see.

The masturbation scenes are where it gets weirdly specific. You control the pace. Slow strokes, fast, whatever. And the character reacts, but her face does this thing where her eyes go slightly cross and then snap back to normal. It's not polished. It's not meant to be. It feels like someone's personal project, you know? Like finding a folder on a stranger's desktop. The male protagonist is basically a pair of hands and a dick, which is fine. I'm not here for him. I'm here for the neighbor with the impossible waist to hip ratio who leaves her curtains open. I wish the sound design was better. The wet noises are too loud, like someone stirring mac and cheese, and it pulls me out. But then she arches her back and I forget about it.

Holy Shaft. The name alone, right? Like something you'd doodle on a notebook during a particularly boring lecture. And honestly, that's the energy. This isn't some sprawling RPG epic. It's an elevator. A magic, isekai elevator that apparently judges you. You get in, a floor dings, the doors open, and there's a situation. A girl with a broken toy. A knight who's way too into being reprimanded. The whole thing runs on this wonderfully janky logic where your only tools are a dialogue choice and, eventually, a growing collection of increasingly ridiculous sex toys.

The 3D models have that specific, unpolished look where the skin textures are a bit too shiny, like everyone's been lightly oiled. It's not "stunning visuals" but it has a charm. A specific, horny-on-main charm. The animations are stiff in a way that loops back around to being funny, especially when you pick the "humiliation" route and the character's expression just... freezes in this mask of perpetual shock. There's a spanking scene on, I think, floor 7? The sound effect is so flat and unenthusiastic it's like someone slapping a wet napkin on a counter. I laughed out loud. Then immediately went back to see the other dialogue option.

And that's the thing. It's a simulator of bad decisions. You see a prompt, you know the "right" answer is probably the nice one, but the game dangles the other choice like a cursed piece of candy. What happens if I use the comically large vibrator on the elf who just wanted directions? The multiple endings aren't deep, they're just different flavors of a chaotic mess. You don't play Holy Shaft for a coherent story. You play it to see the elevator ding, see what fresh nonsense awaits, and click the option that makes you snort. The humor is stupid. Deliberately, perfectly stupid. It's a quick, dirty, and surprisingly replayable little disaster.