Alister is the kind of horny disaster that walks into a scene like he owns it and then immediately proves he has no idea what the fuck is going on. Demon, ripped, cocky, literally dragged out of hell and dropped into this pretty, fucked up fantasy world where everyone either wants to use him, fuck him, or both at once. The game just throws you into his vibe without a big tutorial lecture. One moment he’s pissed about being yanked out of hell, next moment he’s in front of this disgraced prince who looks like he hasn’t slept since his last royal scandal, and a tiny gnome bard who flirts with anything that has a pulse and probably a few things that don’t. You just kinda roll with it. I liked that the first really horny moment didn’t feel like “okay now is the sex scene,” it creeps in under the banter. A hand on his chest holds just half a second longer, a gaze drops to his hips, someone makes a joke that is way too loaded, and suddenly you’re sitting there, dick in your hand, pretending you’re still reading for the story. Sure.

What surprised me is how romantic and trashy it feels at the same time. You get this ex-prince trying to act all noble and serious while his eyes very clearly keep checking out Alister’s body, tracing the lines of his abs, his shoulders, the way his tail moves when he’s annoyed. He says things like “this is strictly professional” right after you pick the dialogue option that has you pressing him against a wall in some corridor lit with torches that flicker like they know what’s about to happen. It’s not subtle. The writing lets you choose if Alister leans into being a seductive bastard or acts confused by how fast mortals get horny, and both paths feel dirty in a fun way. I had him pretend he’s above all this “mortal lust” while describing in detail how the prince’s hands feel on his thighs. That hypocrisy is hot. Then there’s the gnome, Alek, who is small, smug and basically a walking thirst comment section. He’s strumming his lute, making filthy little songs about demon dick, and when you encourage him he turns that energy on you, climbing into your space like size is just a suggestion. The game really likes playing with power and who’s actually in charge in the moment. Sometimes you’re the big scary demon using your strength to pin a guy down, other times you end up on your knees because someone figured out that demons are weak to praise and a firm grip around their horns. The game does romance, but it never forgets to be horny first, feelings later, and then suddenly you care way too much if this idiot prince actually likes you or just wants the monster in your pants.

The pacing is a bit weird, like a feast where you get dessert before the main dish. You slam into some spicy stuff early, hands wandering, suggestive touching, a nice long look at Alister’s body where the camera definitely knows what part people care about, and then it pulls back into plot talk about warlocks and kingdoms and “honor.” I was there like, yeah yeah, political fallout, but can we go back to when he was breathing against my neck and calling me dangerous. At the same time, the small things are what stuck with me. Like one scene where they’re camping, and you can choose to sit closer to the fire or closer to Izaak. If you sit by him, his knee brushes yours, and he doesn’t move away. It’s nothing, but it’s not nothing. Or when Alek casually asks if demons can cum more than once and delivers it like he’s asking about the weather, then grins when Alister chokes on his drink. Stuff like that makes the world feel horny even when nobody is naked yet. I kinda wish there was an option to be more mean with your flirting, like really corrupt the prince, drag him into something filthy he’ll hate himself for loving, but maybe that’s me being too spicy. Anyway, if you’re the type who likes big bodies, messy power dynamics, and that slow slide from “I summoned a monster” to “I’m riding him and moaning his name like a prayer I’m not supposed to say,” then just let this game happen to you and don’t rush. Take time with the dialogue choices, push a little on the borders, and when the scene turns hot, actually read it instead of skipping for the CG. There’s a lot of fun in making Alister say the wrong thing on purpose and then fucking his way out of trouble.

Akabur going after the turtle universe again feels weirdly natural, like of course someone was going to turn Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into a horny breeding season thing and of course it was going to be him. The tone of this game sits in that space where parody and fetish just fuse, so one moment you’re laughing at how dumb a line is and the next you realize you’re actually kind of turned on by April being passed around by four horny mutants who clearly see her more like a shared breeding toy than a news reporter. The story pretends it’s about “chapters” and “seasons” but what it really does is slowly strip April down from being this confident reporter into a slutty pet for the whole sewer. There is this constant teasing vibe where she still has that bright reporter energy, asking questions, trying to maintain her dignity, while the turtles and Splinter treat her “curiosity” as an invitation to stuff every hole. You get the feeling she’s supposed to resist, at least at the start, but the game never hides it: the whole point is to watch her slide into loving the gangbangs, loving being surrounded by thick mutant cock, to the point where having only two inside her at once starts to feel “low effort”.

What I liked, in a twisted way, is how casual the group scenes are handled. This isn’t one “epic” orgy and credits roll, it’s more like: April shows up thinking she’s here to do some interview fluff piece and suddenly she’s on her knees, face shiny, one turtle in her mouth, another squeezing her tits from behind, one rubbing his tip between her cheeks, while Splinter calmly talks about “training” and “discipline” as if this is just martial arts class with extra fluids. The gangbangs are messy, a bit goofy, and sometimes the dialogue is awkward as hell, but somehow that fits the Saturday-morning-cartoon-gone-wrong energy. It almost feels illegal in your brain, like your inner kid who watched TMNT on TV is screaming while your adult self is thinking “yeah ok but seeing April stretched open and leaking after being pumped full by four different mutants at once is actually hot as fuck”. The game leans fully into that corruption fantasy, too. Not only one-on-one scenes, but moments where April is pinned against a sewer wall, legs spread so wide she can’t close them, two cocks inside her, another grinding against her lips, Splinter watching calmly like he’s making sure his sons are breeding her properly. She gets filled, overfilled, dripping down her thighs, then still asked to clean each of them with her tongue. And she does. There’s no big moral lesson, just a slow, filthy slide into April becoming the unofficial mating toy of the whole turtle clan.

Wet Sand feels like somebody mashed together a horny Wattpad pirate fanfic with a decent point and click game, then actually bothered to make the sex look hot. You play as Fabian, this "oops I’m a captain now" guy who basically gets thrown onto a ship, surrounded by cutthroats and horny weirdos, and somehow every crisis turns into flirting or someone on their knees. It starts kind of light, just you poking around the ship, clicking barrels, checking cabins, reading little notes, that kind of usual VN rhythm. Then suddenly you’re in a cabin with a monster girl with fins on her hips, and she’s teasing you about being too soft for pirate life while she’s literally licking your cock like it’s some sacred ritual. The game does this a lot: calm scene, bit of worldbuilding, then bam, blowjob with heavy breathing and wet sounds in your headphones. I was playing with Spotify open, then had to slam it off because the moans and gulping felt way more intense than my sad indie playlist. Also, side note, whoever handled the animations likes saliva. A lot. The camera just hangs there on lips, tongue, that string of drool sliding down, and it kind of overstays but also I didn’t skip. Not even once.

The funniest thing is how it pretends to be all "serious pirate adventure" and then keeps nudging you straight into horny trouble. You talk to this one pirate girl who looks almost normal at first, just a bit too pale, long hair, sexy smirk, and then she flashes her teeth and yeah, those are not human. She threatens to eat you and then, of course, decides oral in a totally different sense is better. The game throws in romantic vibes too, like soft candle light, slow talking, some lines that try really hard to be poetic. Sometimes it works and you get this cozy, almost wholesome scene where a monster girl curls around you in the bunk and talks about old gods while stroking your chest. Sometimes it’s cringe as hell but in a charming way, like a horny teenager wrote the dialogue after watching Black Sails on mute. There’s a small moment on deck that stuck with me: you’re choosing how to handle a crew argument, very basic VN choice stuff, and if you pick the more caring option, later one of the girls thanks you by getting on her knees behind some crates while the crew is nearby. That sneaky public-but-not-quite tension hit way harder than the more "epic" scenes with tentacles in the background and ancient statues looking at you. I give Wet Sand the highly scientific award of "Best Use Of A Ship’s Storage Room To Suck A Captain Dry" because that cramped little space ends up way more memorable than the giant god scenes.

What I liked is that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. The romance is there, yeah, but the game knows you’re here for pirates and monster girls deepthroating the captain until he forgets his own name. Sometimes the pacing just collapses, like you go from talking about fate and curses, to two seconds later staring at jiggling tits bouncing in a loop while she moans your name, and it feels like the story lost its train of thought as badly as you did. But somehow that fits. The fantasy world feels lived in, even if half the lore is delivered between spits of cum and sloppy kisses. There’s a scene where the girl wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, laughs, and casually goes, "Captain, the sea took your fear, but I’ll take something better," and it sounds corny written down, but in context, with the animation and her eyes shining a bit too bright, it just clicks. I kept thinking, "this is trashy," while clicking to the next sex scene as fast as possible. That contradiction kind of is the mood of the whole thing. Wet Sand is messy, horny, sometimes dumb, sometimes weirdly tender, and it keeps shoving you into the role of this clueless guy who stumbles from pirate drama to monster girl oral like it’s the most natural path.

You know that feeling when a “romance” game pretends you’re some clueless virgin highschool kid again? This is not that. Here you’re a grown-ass guy who actually worked a real job, has some skills, and just wants to stop jerking off to the same three tabs in Chrome. You packed up, left your old life, landed in a new country, and now your “fresh start” somehow keeps circling back to one thing: mature women who look like they walked out of a horny architect’s sketchbook. The game leans into that hard. Every scene is built around you slowly slipping from casual chats into dirty confessions, from polite coffee to “she’s pressing her big tits against your arm and pretending it’s accidental” territory. It’s a visual novel, so you’re mostly reading and picking choices, but it feels more like you’re texting someone on WhatsApp you really shouldn’t be flirting with. Except here, you’re supposed to.

Valeria is the first hook, and she’s very much drawn like the kind of woman you’d zoom in on while pretending you’re just admiring the “art style”. Older, confident, that curve-heavy body that makes you wonder how her back isn’t killing her every day. She shows up in your life when you decide maybe it’s time to stop being alone, and from there the story stops pretending it’s pure romance. Conversations with her switch from soft and sweet to full-on horny so fast it’s almost funny. One moment she worries about your new life, the next she’s hinting that you should “come over and help her with something at night” and you both know she doesn’t mean fixing a door. The writing doesn’t always hit perfect English, some lines read a bit stiff, but honestly that makes the dirty talk feel more raw. When she drops a blunt line about how long it’s been since she had a real cock inside her, it lands. You’re not stuck in endless build up, but it doesn’t turn into brainless porn either. You get to tease, push, back off, and sometimes your “romantic” choice turns out even filthier than the direct one.

The pixel art hits a weird sweet spot. It’s simple, not ultra detailed, but the shapes are very clear about what the game cares about: soft thighs, big breasts, hips that take half the screen when she leans forward. The sex scenes don’t drown you in a million positions, but when Valeria climbs on top, or when a “friendly” hug lasts way too long and her nipples are obviously hard under that tight top, it’s more about how the scene built up than some crazy animation. You click through, you linger on expressions, on that moment when her face goes from “I shouldn’t” to “fuck it, I need this”. The choices you make can turn a quiet evening into a messy, sweaty fuck on the sofa where she tries to keep her voice down and fails. It already feels like the kind of game where every new woman you meet is going to be another flavor of trouble with a nice, heavy chest attached, and the story is just an excuse to keep putting you in front of milfs who are lonely, horny, and way too into you for their own good.