This thing looks like someone glued a horny VN onto a bootleg Genshin fan app and then accidentally made it kinda addicting. You start as the most generic guy possible, basically a walking camera, but that works here because everything is pure POV fantasy. One moment you’re pretending to care about some “elemental balance” nonsense, next moment you’re balls-deep in a fake Raiden lookalike who is clearly not Raiden but still very much Raiden in your brain. The cosplay vibe is strong, like those cheap TikTok ads where you go “that’s not Yae Miko” and then ten seconds later you don’t care at all because tits.

The game plays like a lazy point and click, the good kind. You’re just clicking through dialogue, picking choices, poking stuff on the screen while one hand is secretly alt-tabbing from Discord. It actually feels nice that it doesn’t try to be some big strategy thing. You flirt, tease, mess up, reload, try again, suddenly unlock a scene where Hu Tao is riding you with that broken ahegao face that looks illegal and perfect at same time. Sometimes the AI art is a little cursed, like fingers doing weird shit or one eye wandering into Snezhnaya, but then you get a shot where her big ass is bouncing on your dick and your brain just goes “ok we ignore the hand now”. I opened it in Chrome on my phone during a fake “bathroom break” from work and nearly lost it when Yelan started doing that slow handjob animation while talking like she’s interrogating you. Had to pretend I was checking Slack while she’s staring at my imaginary cock.

Scenes go pretty hard when you start pushing the more dominant options. If you make the girls take control, they really take control. Raiden pushing you down, riding you and talking like she’s punishing some low rank soldier, then finishing with a creampie that drips out in a way only AI could imagine. Another route, Yae Miko has you on your back, heels pressing into your chest while she’s stroking you off with her feet and laughing like she knows exactly how pathetic you are. I didn’t even think I was that much into foot stuff, then suddenly I’m watching her toes slide around the tip and I’m like “ok, fuck, guess I am now”. Oral scenes are surprisingly hot too, there is this one where a “not really” MILF character kneels down, squeezes her big tits around you and you get this titfuck plus slobbering blowjob combo that feels like someone watched too much JAV and said “yes, that”. Game even lets you build a kind of janky harem if you click the right lines, and seeing a bunch of them all acting clingy over your cock is stupid as hell but in a great way. I kept meaning to focus on one route, then another girl shows up with tight cosplay and big tits spilling out and suddenly my “loyal playthrough” dies in two clicks. There is one tiny thing with the UI that annoyed the shit out of me every time I misclicked, but whatever, I’m still going back to try to make that smug fox priestess choke on my cum again.

Imagine Stardew Valley went on Pornhub, got corrupted by horny aliens, then forgot what crops are and only remembered tits and ranch fences. That’s Starlewd Ranch in the brain. You roll in as this clueless dude who’s supposed to “help on the ranch,” but every single girl looks like she escaped from a gacha game where the only stats are boob size and how hard she moans when you touch her. The first time the blonde ranch girl bends over to pick something and her huge ass just fills the screen, I literally forgot there were menus. She talks about feeding animals and all I’m thinking is “yeah I got something to feed right here,” and then the game actually lets you go there. Not right away, but you see the road. And that’s worse. Or better. Depends how lonely you are.

There’s this moment early on where you end up alone in a barn with one of the “helpers,” she’s got that innocent virgin vibe but also wearing shorts that might as well be a suggestion, not clothing. She’s trying to act shy, eyes all big, then your hand “accidentally” grabs her tit and the game slows down just to show that squeeze. Nipples pushing against your palm, the model actually reacts, and she does this half ahegao face like she’s not ready but also absolutely ready. You finger her against the stall door, hay sticking to her back, she’s biting her lip trying not to scream because people might hear outside. Of course you keep going. You feel her get wetter, she starts grinding on your hand, and the camera angle goes lower, almost between her thighs. That little tremble when she cums on your fingers, with her legs shaking and tits bouncing… yeah, that scene lives rent free. Then five minutes later the same girl is calmly talking about chores like you didn’t just make her soak the entire barn floor, and honestly that mood whiplash is kind of hilarious.

What got me is how the game pretends to be this chill sandbox thing where you just wander around the ranch, talk to people, do simple tasks, but it’s lying to your face. Every route leads to you surrounded by a harem of big tit ranch girls, each one with her own “please sexually harass me a little more” energy. You go from brushing a horse to accidentally pressing your dick against someone’s ass, from “can you help me with this” to her on her knees giving you a sloppy blowjob in a storage shed, drool dripping, eyes rolled up like a full ahegao meme. There’s titfucks where those ridiculous boobs wrap around you, animated enough that you actually see the slide, and oral scenes where you can almost feel the warmth through the screen. Strip scenes are nice too, like when one of them awkwardly strips out of her overalls in your room, trying to act confident, failing, then finally standing there naked and blushing while you just stare. I wish the day-to-day stuff on the ranch mattered more, but it won’t, because the game clearly knows everyone came for that moment when three girls crowd you in a bedroom, arguing who gets the cock first, and you just sit there like some hentai protagonist who tripped and fell into the best ranch in the universe.

You wake up broke, horny, and with a brain like a wiped phone, and somehow that’s the perfect résumé for the sleaziest nightclub this city has. The game dumps you into that mess without long bullshit intro, just this guy who remembers nothing, needs money fast, and ends up in a place where the animatronic “mascots” look like they escaped from a horny FNAF fanart subreddit. You’re not chasing jumpscares, you’re chasing tips, orgasms, and any hint of who you were before all this, while trying not to get eaten alive by girls who have way too much ass and way too little shame. The whole thing feels like someone mashed a scuffed RPG with late‑night horny brain, then added a “what if Freddy’s but everyone wants to fuck you” filter.

It plays out like this weird sandbox where you clock in at the club, wander around, mess with the girls, take small jobs, and decide how far your dignity goes. Sometimes you’re in this quiet scene, just talking and teasing, stuff like one of the furry animatronic girls leaning over you with a fake innocent smile, brushing your crotch with her tail while pretending it’s an accident. Then suddenly you’re getting a titfuck behind the stage curtains because you picked the “wrong” dialog option and apparently she liked that. The lesbian tension between some of the girls is great too, there’s this moment where you walk in on two of them fooling around with a toy, one of them with full ahegao face, tongue out, completely gone, and you can either just watch like a creep from the shadows or get pulled into the mess. It’s not just “click sex scene, fap, next”. Sometimes you’re stuck doing boring little tasks for cash, like cleaning up the booth while your boss keeps hinting she knows more about your past than she should, and you’re just sitting there thinking “yeah yeah, but can I get back to the blowjob scene with the bunny girl or what”. And then when it finally hits, it’s intense: sloppy oral, handjobs where they jerk you just a bit too slow on purpose to tease you, vaginal sex on the couch with her huge tits bouncing in your face while she keeps whispering you look familiar, which is kind of hot and creepy at the same time.

The tone is all over the place, in a good way and also not. One moment it’s goofy parody of FNAF, with horny versions of familiar characters making fun of the whole “security guard survives the night” thing, next moment it’s an actual story about a guy trying to figure out why his body remembers how to fuck like a champ but his head is just static. There’s this scene where you’re checking cameras in a cheap knockoff security room, expecting a jumpscare, and instead you catch one of the animatronic girls on screen slowly sliding a sex toy into herself, staring dead into the camera like she knows you’re watching. It’s hot, sure, but also makes you feel like she’s the one playing you. The mobile side is decent too, it runs on phone while you’re half‑scrolling Telegram, half getting a handjob in‑game, which feels wrong in a very good way. Some stuff is janky, like text sometimes sounds like it was translated twice through Google, menus feel a bit clunky, and scenes can be uneven. You get this amazing teasing build‑up with big tits in your face, tongue play, grinding, then next route is just “hey, wanna fuck?” and boom, straight to penetration. But even when it stumbles, it has this unpolished charm, like watching a horny indie dev pour all his kinks into one place and not even pretending to be classy. It’s messy, it’s lewd, it’s weirdly cozy, and by the time the animatronic fox is riding you on a table in the closed club while moaning your name like she’s known you forever, you kind of forget you were supposed to care about the missing memories at all.

This one feels like somebody took a classic point & click detective game, got horny, got drunk, argued with their own libido, and then put it in a circus. In a good way. Mostly. You start as this male detective in a circus where everyone looks a bit too hot to be just performers, and every girl has “please interrogate me harder” vibes. It’s not just click-next visual novel stuff either, you actually poke around the scene, chase clues, and try to figure out who is lying, who is hiding something, and who just wants your cock in their mouth as a distraction. And yeah, sometimes it’s all three.

What I liked most is how the investigation parts and the lewd parts keep tripping over each other. You’re trying to follow a lead and suddenly you corner a suspect in some cramped circus wagon, and you get this choice: push her on her alibi, or push her on her knees. I went “ok, police work first” and of course the game basically went “nah dude, she’s into rough stuff, you’ve got time.” The girls are not all copy-paste sluts too. There’s the controlling older woman that just screams MILF energy, who pretends she’s above you, until she’s drooling around your dick and looking at you with those ahegao eyes like her brain fell out through her pussy. Then there’s the cute girl who acts innocent but lets you tie her up fast enough that you start thinking she has more experience than you. Sex scenes are pretty filthy, group stuff shows up, there’s creampies everywhere, and when the game goes BDSM, it actually leans into it instead of just putting a collar on and calling it a day. Some lesbian scenes feel like they’re there mostly to tease you, which somehow works even better. Watching two suspects “comfort” each other while you stand there and decide which one to accuse later is just… yeah.

The art is actually weird in a cool way. Clearly AI-generated in places, so some CGs have that slightly off feeling, like a girl’s pose that looks too perfect or a face that’s almost uncanny, but in this circus context it kind of adds to the vibe, like everyone is a mask anyway and you’re trying to rip it off. The animated bits during oral scenes, with spit strings and eyes rolling back, got me way more than I expected. And the harem angle sneaks up on you. First it’s just one suspect, then two, then suddenly you’re in a wagon with several of them, half convinced one of them is a murderer, and you’re still fucking them all like a degenerate that forgot what “evidence” means. I like how you can actually accuse the wrong girl and still end up with a nasty ending, not a game over screen, just a different kind of circus. I kinda hated one small thing: sometimes the clue you need is this tiny clickable thing on the background and I spent minutes pixel-hunting instead of making someone gag on my cock, and it pissed me off, and then I found it, and forgot I was mad once the next scene turned into an interrogation with your dick. The writing swings between serious detective talk and horny nonsense in a way that feels like my brain when I have 10 tabs open in Chrome, one of them being Pornhub. It’s messy, not polished, but the mix of mystery, domination, circus absurdity and girls looking at you cross-eyed with cum dripping out hits some very specific brain cell I didn’t know I had.