Grand Butt-Sex Hotel feels like the kind of game teenage me always dreamed about finding on some shady Flash site, except now it actually runs smooth on my phone and doesn’t crash when the good part starts. You play this kinda hapless dude who walks into this fancy hotel thinking “oh cool, job, money, normal life maybe” and instead you get thrown into a place where the managers and guests are mostly tall smug futa ladies with thick thighs, huge tits and way too much money, who look at you like you’re a walking stress toy. The whole vibe is luxury mixed with porn parody, like someone mashed a five-star resort with one of those cursed hentai doujins you pretend you “found by accident”. You’re basically staff and chew-toy at the same time. One second you’re talking politely at the front desk, the next a classy futa businesswoman is pushing you against the counter and making you suck her cock while the elevator dings in the background. The game treats that as completely normal, which is honestly kinda funny and hot at same time.

What really hit my nostalgia brain is how the humor and horny stuff are glued together. The dialogue is full of dumb jokes, weird “rich people fetish” lines, and that slightly awkward English that somehow makes the dirty talk work better. There’s this scene where a petite “trap” guest shows up looking cute and shy, then calmly pulls out a suitcase full of toys and asks if you’re “hotel-certified” for anal service, like it’s spa menu item. You get the dating sim vibe, picking how polite or thirsty your responses are, and it actually changes how hard they ride you later. One futa with a giant ass teases you for being “vanilla” if you only go for oral, then drags you to her room, bends you over the bed and you feel like you’re signing a contract with your asshole. Some of the animations are nicely timed with the moans, especially the oral shots where your head is bobbing and her balls tap your chin, but then sometimes a loop will reset at a weird moment and my brain just goes “why did her hips teleport”. And the loading between scenes on mobile Chrome lagged right during a blowjob payoff, which annoyed me more than it should, but I still kept playing, because of course I did.

The hotel setting lets them throw in all kinds of guests: tall dark-skinned futa with big tits who treats you like a room amenity, some smug white CEO type who wants you on your knees under the table during “business calls”, a nerdy girl with glasses who secretly has the thickest cock and uses a vibrating toy in your ass while she scrolls on her phone, barely looking at you. There are races mixed, body types, a lot of big asses pressing you into fancy sheets. Sometimes the female domination goes pretty hard, like humiliating dirty talk while they make you lick their shaft clean after anal, and other times it’s oddly sweet, like a futa patting your head after using you and tipping you like a good bellboy. It’s funny, because the game pretends to be this outrageous fetish buffet, but the thing that stuck with me most was one quiet moment in a hallway, where you’re exhausted, cum probably still dripping somewhere, and a guest just smirks, adjusts her bulge, and tells you she booked you for “wake-up service” tomorrow. That tiny little line hit way harder in my head than half the loud scenes. Also, the hotel lobby music slaps in the weirdest way. I caught myself humming it while opening TikTok, which is completely wrong for this kind of game and now my brain is cursed forever.

Vacation sex is already the best kind of sex, right? Sun on the skin, cheap cocktails, hotel room that smells like chlorine and bad decisions. This game takes that exact vibe and just keeps poking at it until everything feels too hot and kinda wrong in the best way. You start with this couple who actually look like people who fuck a lot: she’s stacked, soft in the right places, ass that eats a bikini, big tits trying to escape every outfit; he’s got that “I’m pretending I’m in control but my dick does all the thinking” energy. Both of them playable, which I didn’t expect at all for a horny mobile thing I launched in Chrome while pretending to check Slack. It’s not some shy tease about “feelings” either. You see their normal stuff first: lazy morning blowjob, her straddling him on that too-small hotel bed, her masturbating in the shower because she’s still wet from last night. Animated, slow, with those little hip twitches and nipple grabs that make you pause and replay the same loop like a trash gremlin.

Then this “game offer” drops on them and the story just stops pretending to be romantic getaway. It becomes this constant “how far will you go for a fat stack of money and some attention” thing. Every choice is like: do I want to protect them as a couple, or do I want to see her get slowly corrupted and start enjoying being watched, touched, cheated on, all that messy shit. One scene you’re picking her bikini color and laughing, next scene you’re deciding if she’ll let a stranger grope her in an elevator while her boyfriend stands there trying to pretend it doesn’t turn him on. The corruption is not just instant slut-mode, it’s those tiny steps: she shows a bit more sideboob, she lets a hand stay on her ass a second longer, she “accidentally” flashes pussy when she bends. By the time she’s grinding on some guy’s thigh during one of the challenges, you’re like yeah, ok, this is who she is now and I kinda helped.

What I liked a stupid amount is how often the game makes you play the guy too, stuck between jealousy, boner and greed. There’s this bit where he has to keep a straight face while another dude is eating her out poolside “for points”, and you get little dialogue options that are all awful in different ways. You can act cool, get mad, or pretend it’s just strategy, but whatever you pick, you still watch her melt from someone else’s tongue. And she looks back at him like “you did this”. The animations really lean into hands: groping, spanking, fingers sliding under wet panties, slow handjobs under the table while they negotiate the next challenge. There’s one masturbation scene with her alone on the balcony, phone light on her face, whispering his name at first, then someone else’s, and it kinda hits harder than the full-on sex because you see the switch flip. Only thing that bugged me is sometimes the pacing stumbles, like you jump straight from soft teasing to full dick-in without enough buildup, but then there’s a quick little oral scene with spit and gaggy sounds and my brain forgets to be annoyed. Classic horny goldfish memory. Anyway, if you like watching a sexy couple talk themselves into breaking their own rules while you push every wrong button, this thing is filthy in a very “oh shit I shouldn’t like this so much” way.

This thing throws you right into Luna’s brain like she just walked out of some cute fairy anime and then got slapped in the face with Pornhub. She lands in this sleepy little village that looks all soft and cozy at first, flowers everywhere, people smiling too much, that fake kind of wholesome you see in small town Instagram pics. Then you start talking to folks and realize half the town is backed up and horny and the other half is busy pretending sex doesn’t exist, and you’re basically hired as the official “please fuck everyone before the world breaks” girl. Luna’s this tiny fey girl with huge eyes and a body that absolutely doesn’t match her clueless personality, big tits bouncing when she runs around doing “quests” that are really just setups for sex scenes pretending to be favors. It goes from cute to filthy in like three clicks, and the shift actually works, because she never really stops being sweet even when she’s covered in cum and asking who’s next.

What surprised me is how the game mixes the management stuff with the actual porn. You’re not just clicking through dialog to reach a CG. You’re checking Luna’s lust vs restraint, choosing if she plays hard to get or just drops to her knees the moment someone even hints at wanting a blowjob. I had one scene where she went to “comfort” this nervous girl from the celibacy cult, and depending on your stats it either stays soft with tender kissing and slow, shivery groping or it flips into Luna pushing the girl against the wall and making her whimper while she eats her out. The lesbian content is honestly the best part here, the dev clearly likes women actually enjoying themselves, not just moaning for the camera. There’s this one bit with a monster girl who’s way taller than Luna, thick thighs, big ass, extra limbs doing their own thing, and Luna’s just hanging off her like a toy while getting absolutely stuffed. It looks ridiculous and hot at the same time, especially when the monster girl keeps teasing her, holding her just out of reach of orgasm until Luna’s begging and drooling and promises to be a “good village toy.” I thought I’d hate the corruption angle, but watching Luna slowly go from “oh my, is this okay?” to casually asking if someone wants their pussy or their ass first kind of sneaks up on you, and suddenly the innocent fairy girl is the one pushing sex toys into cult ladies and telling them they’ll sleep better with a creampie.

The tone jumps all over the place, in a good way and also in a “what the fuck are we doing” way. One scene is goofy, like Luna streaking across a field because some pervy shrine spirit only listens to naked people, and she’s half embarrassed and half giggling while villagers pretend not to stare. Next scene there’s this dark church basement where lust is literally warping reality, and you’ve got tentacly shapes hugging her thighs, sliding under her clothes, making her moan and blush while she’s trying to look brave. The game keeps teasing exhibitionism, like Luna getting used to people watching her, breasts out, ass grabbed, someone’s tongue in her mouth while another hand pushes her thighs apart. Then later you bump into a stupid little issue like the UI hiding half a dialogue choice and it annoys the hell out of you, but you forget that once she’s riding some big guy, tits bouncing, her expression going from nervous to “fuck, harder” in a few frames. The humor actually lands most of the time, especially when Luna tries to be “professional” about giving happy endings and treats it like customer service on crack. One moment she’s politely asking a woman if she prefers fingers or tongue, next moment an eldritch goddess that looks like a horny sea nightmare is using her like a toy, and Luna’s trying to keep it together while getting filled from angles that don’t even make sense. The best part is when her restraint is low and she starts teasing others first, grinding on a shy girl’s lap, guiding some flustered villager’s hands to her tits, whispering dirty things in a tone that still sounds like a fairy offering you flowers. It shouldn’t work. It kind of shouldn’t even be this hot. But here we are.

First time I opened it, I thought the colors looked a bit too clean, like candy wrappers in a porn set. But then she turned her head - Alya - and her eyes had this lazy way of tracking you, half bored, half aware you’re staring at her chest. It’s supposed to be parody, right? But it feels like the people who made it both love and mock what they’re copying. The male lead moves like he’s unsure if he deserves to be there, which somehow makes the whole thing dirtier. There’s something wildly unbalanced about how quick it switches from sweet talk to her mouth sliding down him. No fade-outs, no convenient camera cut. It just lingers. Too long maybe. Or not long enough.

The dating sim mechanics are barely pretending to matter. Tap, choose, get flustered text messages, and suddenly you’re deep in a warm rhythm that feels too personal for something you’re doing on your phone. I caught myself thinking about her hair texture mid-scene - like, how soft would it actually be after? That’s the kind of stupid detail that shouldn’t matter, but it’s there. She teases constantly, calling him “senpai” in a voice that sounds more drunk than shy. The transitions between affection and filth are messy, which I kind of adore. You can tell the animators didn’t care about polishing it smooth; they wanted it to *feel* like it could go wrong at any moment. When she presses against him, breasts heavy and animated with this exaggerated bounce, I almost laugh. Then I don’t.

There’s a scene (pretty sure it’s optional) where she insists on finishing him while keeping eye contact, and it’s uncomfortable and hot in a way only parody can be. The game pretends to be romantic, but the romance cracks open fast once things start moving under the sheets. Maybe that’s the point - pretend sweetness wrapped around shameless fucking. You could call it satire. But I’d rather call it honest.