I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Lewd Piece feels like someone smashed a horny fanfic archive, a janky phone RPG, and a cosplay convention together, then sprinkled it with just enough pirate logic to pretend it all makes sense. You are “captain” in the same way Odysseus was a loyal husband: technically true, but every scene is trying to seduce you away from whatever moral compass you had. One moment you’re choosing skills like you’re in some budget Persona menu, the next moment you’re staring at Nami’s tits squeezed into a maid uniform, offering to “help with inventory” while clearly meaning your dick. The game leans hard into that trainer fantasy: you’re not just managing a ship, you’re adjusting how obedient, perverted, jealous, or teasing your crew becomes, like a horny social link chart. I had this moment with Robin where I picked a dialogue option that looked harmless, just some smart-ass joke about ancient stones, and suddenly she’s pressing her big ass into my lap in the cabin, asking if you “need a practical demonstration about friction.” The writing is not subtle. It doesn’t want to be. It has the same energy as those old hentai OVAs where they pretend to care about plot for 20 seconds, then cut to a titfuck in the engine room.

What really killed me is how the game pretends to be about treasure, but the only treasure that matters is which scene you unlock next. You get these little sandbox vibes on mobile: hopping between locations, hitting the maid cafe “disguise” event, messing with your pirate harem schedule like you’re running a very horny calendar app instead of a ship. There is combat, turn based stuff, but half of the time I’m just clicking through because I know the real prize is when Boa Hancock shows up later with a “training session” that is literally her in maid cosplay riding you and calling it a lesson in loyalty. The sci fi twist with sex robots sneaks in like a shitpost someone forgot to delete: one second it’s pirate romance, next second you’re in a hidden lab deciding breast size in a character creation menu for a robot maid who calls you “captain” while giving a handjob, eyes rolling into full ahegao. It should feel totally wrong, but in erotic games logic this is exactly right. The cheating stuff is there too, quiet but sharp: you’re promising romance to one girl, then sneaking oral sex from another behind a door while your crew walks outside. The game even leans into voyeurism with scenes where you “accidentally” spy on Nami sucking someone off in a corridor, only for the script to twist it and put you in that place next time. It’s parody, sure, of One Piece and of dating sims and of all those grand adventure stories, but it’s also very clear what the real adventure is: every choice slowly shaping a crew that exists to tease you, fuck you, and trap you in a lewd little management loop where the biggest boss fight is trying not to open the gallery again.

Doctor Doom down bad is honestly a whole mood. In this thing he is not the cool comic book villain planning galaxy brain strategies, he is basically a horny bastard who lost everything and now crawls back up by breaking girls one by one. You start small, like some sleazy trainer that somehow still thinks in monologues from Shakespeare, then bit by bit you are twisting minds, ruining heroes, and turning half the Marvel city into your personal sex zoo. The witch Ratri shows up, gives him this Dominium power that lets him push into people’s heads, and from there it is just corruption porn all the way down. You go from “please don’t touch me” to “yes master, more” with a few clicks and some dirty little scenes that feel like reading a fucked up comic scan you definitely should not have on your phone at work but you do anyway.

What really hit me is how the girls are not just random nobodies. It is all the ones I crushed on when I was younger and scrolling through fanart on DeviantArt like a creep. Susan Storm acting all proper at first, then doing anal in a cheap motel because Doom pushed just the right mental button. Black Widow trying to be stoic super spy while she is on her knees, gagging on his cock, pretending she still has control. Firestar going from bright hero to street-level whore, selling her body off because you nudged her into prostitution and then watched the gangbang through some camera like a full on voyeur. One playthrough I had Jessica Jones drunk, swearing at Doom while he has her hands tied, using her anyway, mixing that rough *** fantasy with this bitter, sad energy that honestly hit me way harder than I expected in a porn game. You flick between almost playful teasing, like a handjob under the table while the Fantastic Four are in the same room, to ugly stuff like blackmail, mind control, and using them as slaves, and the game never stops to ask if you are a good person. It just shrugs and says “you clicked it, bro.”

Sometimes the pacing is weird and the point and click stuff makes me feel like an idiot, hunting for the one pixel that actually progresses the scene while Doom is supposed to be this genius. One time I spent ages trying to trigger a Madame Hydra event and ended up stuck with Lucia von Bardas and some half-finished blowjob loop that made me want to throw my phone. The animations are janky in spots, yet then you hit a sequence with Silk stripping, tongue out, stroking him with her ass, and suddenly you forget every complaint. Delila and Mockingbird show up and I swear the game just kind of laughs at continuity, but whatever, they get naked, they get corrupted, they get used. There is this one voyeurism bit where you watch Mary Jane and Black Cat fool around while Doom just toys with them like dolls, then later you drag them into full swinging and they do it because you rewired them, not because they wanted it. If you are lonely and horny and a little broken, the whole thing feels like someone dipped your Marvel crushes in gasoline and lit a match. It is trashy, cruel, weirdly funny, and sometimes I hate myself while clicking, but I still keep going back, like Doom himself learning nothing at all.

Morty wakes up in some fucked up parallel universe where everything looks kind of familiar, but just wrong enough that you know the writers were horny first and logical second. You’re basically walking disaster Morty, trying to find a way back home while getting dragged into every kind of sexual mess the multiverse can cough up. One minute you’re arguing with a tentacled thing that technically counts as “alien biology”, next minute you’re balls-deep in a cosplay version of someone you absolutely recognize, pretending it’s not fanart gone too far. The game leans hard into parody, not subtle at all, just full-on “what if this character was naked and way too into you” energy. Half the fun is just waiting to see which familiar face turns up to humiliate you, seduce you, blackmail you, or all three in the same scene.

What actually surprised me is how often the choices matter in a small, petty way. Like, you pick the “coward” dialogue option in one early blowjob scene, and ten minutes later you’re getting teased for being a virgin pussy while someone uses your face like a chair. There’s a strong rhythm of “do something stupid, get rewarded with pussy anyway”, but the route you take changes the flavor a lot. Sometimes you are the pathetic Morty getting mind controlled into licking boots, sometimes you flip it and abuse a bit of leverage to push a milf into begging for your dick while you pretend you’re not into it. The game jumps from sleep sex to masturbation to lesbian side scenes, and half the time you just stumble into them while trying to act like a responsible protagonist. There’s group scenes that feel like someone took every wet dream from a subreddit and threw them into one room: twins riding you, another girl sucking your balls, someone in the back getting spanked, and if you blink you miss the footjob in the corner. They even go into pregnancy stuff and bukkake, and the game doesn’t stop to ask if you’re okay with it, it just goes “yeah, this is happening now”.

My favorite parts are the stupid little animated loops where barely anything happens. Like, the camera just stays on a slow titfuck while a character keeps talking shit, calling you a loser even as she’s painting your chest with milk. Or a scene where Morty is under some half-assed brainwashing and slowly realizes he’s jerking off on command, with a tentacle wrapped around his leg “just for stability” while an older woman watches and pretends it’s a science experiment. There’s a really nasty NTR edge in some routes, where you watch another guy pound a girl you were trying to romance, and the game rubs it in with close shots and sarcastic dialogue instead of dramatic music. Anal, oral, toys, multiple penetration, it’s all treated like regular Tuesday. Sometimes it’s clumsy, like a foot fetish bit that looks like it was added late and never tweaked, the angles feel wrong and the pacing is off, but it still kind of works because the whole thing already feels like a horny fan project that got out of hand. You jump from gentle teasing to hardcore bdsm spanking in two clicks, no build up, no “character arc”, just horny chaos guided by your half-bad decisions. The writing swings between actually funny sci-fi jokes and weird grammar, then back to sharp blackmail lines that hit harder than they should, and honestly, that messy tone fits the story of a kid thrown through universes where everyone seems more interested in his dick than his survival.