Power, tits and dragons, in that order. Whores of Thrones takes the whole Seven Kingdoms mess and asks a very simple question: what if everyone stopped pretending they have honor and just started fucking for it instead. You’re dropped into this twisted court drama where every “deal” is half politics, half who is on their knees, and it leans hard into that. One scene you’re whispering dirty orders in a candlelit sept, next scene you’re watching a proud knight get milked by a monster he tried to stab. The story does that slow corruption thing: characters start with some fake moral line, then a bit of blackmail here, a “do this or I ruin your house” there, and suddenly they are naked in public, on their knees, kissing boots, begging for more. It doesn’t rush it, which I kinda loved and also kinda hated when I wanted to just go straight to hardcore. Sometimes you’ll pick a choice and think “ok soft scene now” and the game responds with anal, a collar, and a smug priest watching. Not complaining, just surprised. Often.

Fan service is insane. Sansa, Arya, Daenerys, Cersei, all twisted versions of themselves, each pushed into their own flavor of kink. There is this one path where your male character gets to break the noble “ice princess” step by step, starting with just making her show her feet, then kissing them, then using them on your cock like it’s nothing, until she goes from disgusted to needy. Long scene, very slow, and honestly the footjob animation and expressions are way better than they should be for a porn parody. Then you flip to another route and you’re playing a girl instead, suddenly on the other side of the leash, teasing another woman, riding her face and using toys on her while you promise to protect her family if she just obeys. Lesbian stuff hits different here, because they make it half affection, half “I own you now”. You can feel the writers grinning when they script a holy woman forced into exhibitionism in front of her own followers, or when a dragon queen ends up bent over a balcony, pretending she cares about the city while you’re just pounding her and talking about who she has to marry next. There’s vanilla pussy grinding right next to anal punishment, incest whispers in the background mixed with religious guilt, some brutal female domination scenes, gay side paths that go from awkward to “oh shit this is rough” in two clicks. It goes from funny parody to “damn, that’s filthy” really fast. And yeah, you can play it on your phone, which is a blessing until you realize you just opened a scene with a chained noble girl licking a boot and a dildo in the middle of your train ride, and now you can’t look anyone in the eye.

Guy gets fried by lightning on the way from his boring office job and wakes up as the new dark overlord. Sounds badass, right? It actually feels more like getting dumped into horny hell with a to-do list. You’ve got a demon castle, a bunch of monster girls who either want to serve you, ruin you, or sit on your face, and a curse inside your body that randomly flares up like the worst horny migraine ever. One moment you’re checking resource numbers and troop morale, next second your vision goes blurry, your body heats up, and you’re pinning a monster girl to the wall, pounding her while she’s got that full ahegao face, drool hanging, tongue out, eyes rolled. The game doesn’t fade to black, it goes all in. Animated sex scenes, hips actually moving, tits bouncing, ropes tightening, soft moans turning into straight up screaming when you decide to go rough. I keep pausing to capture the best frames into GIFs, then going back because I miss whole animations. It’s stupid how many times I rewound one anal scene with a slimy tentacle girl wrapping around the hero like a hentai octopus hug.

What I didn’t expect is how the management and rpg stuff keeps baiting you into lewd trouble. You open the map just to plan some combat, then some “innocent” patrol report pops up with a busty orc girl who “failed her mission” and now needs punishment. You can humiliate her in the throne room, bend her over the steps, slap that big ass until it jiggles, then decide if you’re fucking her like a toy in front of frightened underlings or actually comforting her with slower vaginal sex. Both still end with her broken, panting, eyes blank. Or that virgin elf mage you recruit, acting all pure and holy, but the first time the curse really bites you in front of her, you lose control, shove her against a bookshelf, tear her clothes and fuck her until she’s drooling and begging you to corrupt her more. She goes from “please, dark lord, control yourself” to “don’t stop, use my mouth too” really fast. There is some light combat, yeah, you smack monsters around, get loot, level up, but it mostly just feels like foreplay to unlock new positions, toys, and kinks. The bdsm scenes surprised me. Ropes look tight, skin goes a little red if you keep spanking, chains rattle when she tries to squirm away, and there’s this humiliation angle where you make monster girls lick your boots first, then your cock right after. It hits that fantasy of being absolute bastard overlord, even though the guy is still kind of clueless office worker inside, panicking in his own thoughts while his body is happily choking a girl with his dick. Honestly, the small UI sounds are too loud on mobile and it annoys me every damn time I adjust volume, but then the next scene has a monster girl choking on your cock with tears in her eyes and you kinda forget everything.

Retired “hero” my ass. John feels less like some ex special ops badass and more like that dude in your Discord who keeps saying he’s done with drama, then his DMs are just wall to wall chaos. The game sells you this quiet old guy who just wants beer and football, then absolutely bodies his calm life in the first act. One weird, trippy dream later and suddenly every woman around him is way too interested, way too flexible about what’s “okay,” and way too related to be healthy. It starts slow, like a normal AVN trying to pretend it has restraint, then your choices start twisting everyone into horny trouble. You blink and you’ve gone from “concerned father figure” to “I should probably clear my browser history if I die tomorrow.”

The cast is basically a ticking time bomb of bad decisions. You’ve got the twins, obviously, and yeah, the game knows exactly what button it’s pushing with them. Every scene with them feels like the dev is just giggling behind the screen going “you’re really gonna click that, huh?” One minute you’re sharing some semi wholesome moment in the kitchen, next minute the camera angle turns predatory and you’re suddenly very aware how short their shorts are. And if you like to play the creepy voyeur type, the game spoils you. Peeking through doors, “accidentally” walking in on showers, sitting on the couch pretending to watch sports while everyone else in the house is basically a walking porn category. Of course I told myself I’d play John as a good guy. Ten minutes later I’m saving before every corrupt choice like I’m playing Dark Souls and scared of losing progress.

What actually surprised me is how openly horny the story is without even pretending it’s respectable. The MILFs are stacked like someone made a “mom pack” in a character creator and just cranked every slider to max. There’s a DILF vibe too when the game leans into John’s age and authority, especially when women start treating him like the center of their universe and he just rolls with it. Sex scenes go from soft to “oh shit, we’re doing that now?” pretty fast, with corruption stuff that slowly pushes the girls from shy and unsure into full on cock drunk, begging for creampies and acting jealous and possessive. Interracial scenes pop up in that classic porn logic way where nobody really talks about it, it just happens and you’re like, “yeah okay, that’s a thing now.” Masturbation and voyeurism connect a lot of the smaller scenes, like characters getting caught touching themselves in the hallway light, or you spying on them and deciding whether to walk away or corrupt them a bit more. It’s messy, morally fucked, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes a bit much, and it kind of feels like scrolling a very specific Pornhub playlist someone curated after a bottle of whiskey and three bad breakups. Which is exactly the energy this kind of game should have, honestly.

It’s messy in the best way. You’re some kind of half-drunk alchemist in a vampire’s den, tossing glowing ingredients into a cauldron that looks suspiciously alive, waiting to see if it spits out gold, slime, or a moaning succubus with tits like forbidden fruit. The game doesn’t explain much, just lets you mix weird shit - holy water, demon ichor, maybe a drop of your own sweat - and then bam, the screen flashes and suddenly you’re staring at a futa nun grinding against a bound werewolf priest. It’s ridiculous, but you can’t stop clicking. The logic makes no sense and that’s kind of the point. Sometimes you get a soft scene, a slow kiss between a vampire girl and her human pet. Other times, tentacles, everywhere, like the game’s trying to outdo itself in how far it’ll go before you blush or laugh.

There’s something about the tone - half gothic, half horny fever dream - that makes it feel like the devs were just daring each other to see what the next transmutation would unlock. The art shifts between elegant and unhinged; one moment you’re admiring the lighting on a pale thigh, next you’re staring at a corrupted angel with too many wings and not enough shame. The alchemy system feels more like foreplay than crafting. You think you’re mixing for power, but really you’re just chasing the next perverse reveal. I tried to keep track of the endings but gave up after the third one involved a talking dildo that might’ve been sentient.

The weirdest part? It’s kind of beautiful. Between the absurd fetishes and over-the-top transformations, there’s this pulse of dark humor and lust that keeps it alive. It’s not about winning or finishing - it’s about curiosity, that itch that says “what if I mix blood and holy oil again?” Do it. The game rewards the reckless.