PinkTea has this very specific thing going on where their games feel like someone took a horny notebook doodle from math class, fed it too much sugar, gave it cat ears and said “ok, now live in my browser forever.” This one leans hard into that vibe. Everything circles around turning this cute, slightly bratty nekogirl into your personal maid toy, except it never feels actually serious, more like a dirty comedy that forgot to stop being arousing. One second you’re poking around what they call a “dungeon” that looks suspiciously cozy for a dungeon, next second she’s on her knees in that frilly pink maid cosplay, ears flicking, looking at you like she’s both pissed and wet at the same time. That face when she tries to act tough and then loses it the moment you start “training” her properly? Yeah, that got me more than any of the bigger scenes.

The sex slave training angle is not subtle at all, but they wrap it in this candy-colored hentai coating that makes it feel like some cursed mix between a fetish cafe and a gacha game. You’re juggling obedience, lust, hunger, and whatever that “corruption” bar is pretending not to be. There was this moment where I’d pushed her too far, she’s panting in that tiny apron, eyes glossy, and the game quietly pops up a feeding option, like “oh by the way, she also needs snacks between blowjobs.” I don’t know why that hit me so much, but having to feed her between punishment sessions turned into its own kink. Watching her lick cream off her fingers, cheeks smeared, ears twitching, tail doing that happy cat wiggle while she still has your cum sliding down her thigh… honestly kind of illegal energy. And the cosplay rotation is dumb in the best way. One run she’s in a proper maid outfit, next time she’s in this half-finished neko puss costume that looks like the dev forgot what a cat body suit is supposed to cover. I kept telling myself I liked the music the most, though. Which is a lie, but also not really.

The soundtrack is weirdly sticky. Simple loops, cheap synth, but then they throw in these lazy, sleazy bass lines that roll under the moans and make everything feel like some forgotten hentai FMV from the early mobile era. I actually caught myself humming the dungeon theme while scrolling Twitter, which is a problem because my brain instantly adds the sound of that sloppy maid blowjob over it. Their moan mixing is all over the place, by the way. Sometimes she sounds like an actual catgirl losing her mind on your cock, sometimes like they recorded it with a microwave, I have no idea what happened there. And yet I kept it on high volume because when it hits, it hits. There’s this one scene where she’s gagging on you, tears in her eyes, the music drops to almost nothing, just a dull pulse, and her wet choking fills the speakers. Then when you finally flood her mouth, the track swells back in like some cheap porno anthem. Completely cheesy, totally effective. I kinda hate how much I liked it. Also there is this one UI button slightly off-center in the dungeon screen and it bothered me more than anything in my life, and they never fix it, and I kept looking at it during the hottest scenes and losing focus, and anyway, the game is a mess and also I still have it open in another tab.

Con-Quest feels like someone smashed together a horny anime convention, a cheap RPG Maker fever dream, and that one time you got lost inside an actual con and just followed the most ridiculous cosplay you could find. It is messy as hell in places, but that kind of messy that feels like a real project, not some factory porn thing. You walk around a con full of geek girls in cosplay, fight them, strip them, collect them as summons, then use those same girls to beat up even hotter boss girls. It sounds dumb written like that, and it kind of is, but it also leans so hard into the dumb that it becomes its own thing. The tone swings between goofy and horny all the time. One second you are chasing magic sex pills for some stupid sidequest, next second a tentacle slime girl is choking your HP bar while your brain is busy staring at her tits. The game keeps that vibe where everyone is just one bad decision away from flashing you, which, honestly, is the whole point.

What I like a lot is how the lewd stuff is glued into the quests instead of just being a reward gallery on the side. You are not just clicking on pictures. You have these small adventures like Felicia’s candy-gram errand that sounds harmless and suddenly you are doing a weird scavenger hunt across the con just because the payoff is more CG of her acting all cute and slutty. Joyce turning into a summon feels like crossing a line you probably should not cross with con staff, yet the game is like, “yeah, now you can call her in battle to smack other girls around while half naked.” The summons in general are a bit broken and I love that. Calling Michelle after her crab quest and watching her wreck another cosplay girl while the text still tries to sound like a normal RPG? It is such a stupid power trip. You feel like a horny Pokémon trainer who only catches girls that are ready to jump your bones. Then the game pokes fun at itself, like those hints in the CG viewer, as if it knows you are clicking every corner just to unlock one more shot of a girl with cum on her face and a ruined cosplay. Sometimes the pacing sucks, sometimes the jokes miss, sometimes the comedy undercuts the erotic mood right when you are actually turned on. It should annoy me more than it does, but the whole horny-con RPG idea is so specific and so unapologetic that I keep walking around the halls, starting another questline, hoping the next summoned geek girl is even more fucked up than the last one.

Horny Pokémon comedy is kind of a cursed idea already, and this thing leans into it like it lost a bet. You start off thinking “ok, funny parody, some lewd jokes, fine,” then five minutes later you’re arguing with a half-naked cosplayer in a fake court trial while an Umbreon does this slow, smug ass-wiggle in a reward scene that’s way too lovingly animated for something that was probably drawn on a Tuesday night. The whole thing feels like someone mashed a shitpost thread, a cheap casino, and a con artist trainer campaign into one chaotic little adventure. You run around this con-style hub, poking into rooms that look innocent until you notice the posters on the wall are absolutely not PG, and every “NPC” is either trying to flirt with you, scam you, or bait you into some risky bet just to unlock another naughty picture. It’s not classy. It’s not pretending to be classy. It’s more like “hey, remember when you were a kid collecting cards and now your brain is rotten? Good. Have some lewd stickers and half-dressed trainers.”

The cosplayers are the real meat here, if we can call it that. You’ve got this whole thing where some are common, some are rare, and then there’s that ultra rare James cosplayer that the game treats like a shiny legendary with a daddy kink. You bump into them and suddenly you’re in this silly half-serious situation, almost like a mini side quest, and if you manage to “save” them you get a secret reward lurking in the shop later that basically screams “yeah, you worked for this thirst, now enjoy it.” I kinda love that the game is horny but still laughs at itself. There’s this court trial mini game where you’re clicking through dialogue trying to ace the logic while the characters are wearing outfits that would get you banned from most servers, and I swear I missed a key piece of testimony just because I was staring at a cleavage window that looks like it could cut glass. Then you’ve got the casino, tossing coins around just to find some rare book, and the payoff is another slice of erotic nonsense that somehow feels earned, even though you literally just gambled until RNG liked you. I wish the UI didn’t feel like it was found under someone’s bed along with the old doujins, but whatever, it works. The Umbreon animation is honestly too smooth for how janky some of the menus are, which is weirdly charming and also annoying as hell. And the sticker sets? They feel like the devs were just doodling horny fanart during class and then dumped it all into the game, which, to be honest, is exactly the vibe this mess needed.

Con-Quest feels like somebody mashed horny con culture and a shitty magic RPG together after watching way too much hentai, and honestly, that’s exactly why it works. You’re wandering around this ridiculous anime convention where all the girls are stuck in cursed cosplay, and your “heroic” job is basically to go around stripping the magic off them, making them cum silly, and then collecting them like pervy achievements. You toss out spells that hit like budget Pokémon moves, catch these corrupted cosplayers mid-fight, and every time you beat one, the game rewards you with a new lewd scene or pin-up that actually feels earned instead of just thrown at your face. It’s not subtle. One moment you’re frying a witchy Pikachu girl with horny lightning and the next she’s tied up, panting, her costume half torn, cheeks wet, begging you to “finish the quest.” The writing keeps winking at you with dumb jokes while still letting you enjoy the fact that your magic basically works like a consent spell for filthy scenarios. It shouldn’t be hot, but it is.

What I really liked is how the game leans into the parody without losing the fetish energy. The con is full of girls in outfits that are just one ripped seam away from hentai disaster: the Bulbasaur cosplayer with vines that behave way too much like tentacles, the Pikachu girl who shocks you when she’s turned on, the shop NPCs that keep slipping into random cutscenes where they flirt, tease, and then act offended when you stare at their tits. Battles are short and stupid in a good way: you’re juggling mana, throwing the same three spells, cursing a bit when the stun doesn’t proc, then suddenly she’s on her knees in the reward screen, boobs bouncing in a short animation that loops just long enough for you to forget you were supposed to play “tactically.” The game pretends to be about quests, but really it’s about that moment when you unlock a new animation, zoom in, and realize somebody cared enough to draw every little jiggle and drool string. It’s messy, it’s horny, the UI clicks feel cheap, the gashapon RNG made me want to punch my screen, and the dialogue sometimes reads like horny Twitter, but at the end you’re still there, wandering the con, hoping the next girl you “save” will moan a little louder when the magic bursts her cosplay apart.