This thing feels like somebody took a horny fever dream from Twitter, mixed it with an old Flash porn game, then actually remembered to add menus and sliders. You start as this clueless “master” dumped into a sticky pink dungeon that looks like a cosplay backstage after a con went really wrong. The nekogirl maid they give you at the start is cute in that manufactured PinkTea way, with big wet eyes and ears that twitch every time you click something. The first time I opened the options I laughed because the game clearly wants you to go straight for punishing her and breaking her in, but the menu is hiding way more important stuff than the story does. Little toggles for text speed, basic volume, some half-assed subtitle style, but nothing for colorblind people, no font scaling, no proper key remapping. I played on a Chromebook at work with one earbud and had to squint at the dialogue while she was literally begging to be fed cum like it was the only food in the world.

The actual scenes are filthy in a fun trashy way. They lean hard into “maid as property” and “pet girl to be trained” so if you like that whole sex slave training fantasy, yeah, it goes there. There is this feeding system where you don’t just fuck her, you keep giving her “treats” and “meals” that are basically different ways to pour fluids into her. Sometimes she’s on her knees in that tight maid dress, holding the tray, drool on her chin, ears shaking while you decide if you wanna be nice or just grab her hair and use her mouth like a warm onahole. Other times you cage her in a dungeon cell, chain on her neck, and she leans against the bars, nipples poking through the frilly fabric, asking if she was a good cat and if you’ll let her lick you clean. The first orgasm scene where she squirts while still trying to say “Welcome home, Master” felt almost too on the nose, but I still replayed it three times. Somehow the camera focus is fine, the sound is dirty enough, but then you hit an interface wall: you can’t resize the text box, the font is thin and low contrast on some backgrounds, and keyboard controls get ignored in some menus like the dev got bored mid-feature and went back to drawing tits.

I tested it with NVDA on Windows and Chrome’s built-in screen reader on Android, and it’s rough. The buttons are mostly unlabeled for assistive tech, so the whole “training schedule” screen is just a bunch of “button, button, button” when you tab through. Try setting up a sequence of punishments and rewards when you can’t even tell which button starts the blowjob scene and which one opens the goddamn gallery. Also you can’t navigate scenes properly with only keyboard, since some choices only react to mouse hover and not focus, which is ridiculous in a game where half the fun is choosing how hard to push your neko maid. There is no way to change text size for people with low vision, no high contrast option, and the UI uses pastel on pastel like it wants to be cute more than readable. That said, I still lost track of time watching the scene where she’s on all fours, tail plug in, maid skirt flipped up, you grab her hips and hammer her while she meows through the gag, and I forgot I was annoyed at the lack of remap options. I keep wishing there was a simple “accessibility” tab with bigger fonts, strong outlines, proper labels, but I know it will probably never show up in a porn dungeon where the priority is making the neko girl choke on cum instead of letting more people actually play it.

Con-Quest feels like someone smashed together a horny anime convention, a cheap RPG Maker fever dream, and that one time you got lost inside an actual con and just followed the most ridiculous cosplay you could find. It is messy as hell in places, but that kind of messy that feels like a real project, not some factory porn thing. You walk around a con full of geek girls in cosplay, fight them, strip them, collect them as summons, then use those same girls to beat up even hotter boss girls. It sounds dumb written like that, and it kind of is, but it also leans so hard into the dumb that it becomes its own thing. The tone swings between goofy and horny all the time. One second you are chasing magic sex pills for some stupid sidequest, next second a tentacle slime girl is choking your HP bar while your brain is busy staring at her tits. The game keeps that vibe where everyone is just one bad decision away from flashing you, which, honestly, is the whole point.

What I like a lot is how the lewd stuff is glued into the quests instead of just being a reward gallery on the side. You are not just clicking on pictures. You have these small adventures like Felicia’s candy-gram errand that sounds harmless and suddenly you are doing a weird scavenger hunt across the con just because the payoff is more CG of her acting all cute and slutty. Joyce turning into a summon feels like crossing a line you probably should not cross with con staff, yet the game is like, “yeah, now you can call her in battle to smack other girls around while half naked.” The summons in general are a bit broken and I love that. Calling Michelle after her crab quest and watching her wreck another cosplay girl while the text still tries to sound like a normal RPG? It is such a stupid power trip. You feel like a horny Pokémon trainer who only catches girls that are ready to jump your bones. Then the game pokes fun at itself, like those hints in the CG viewer, as if it knows you are clicking every corner just to unlock one more shot of a girl with cum on her face and a ruined cosplay. Sometimes the pacing sucks, sometimes the jokes miss, sometimes the comedy undercuts the erotic mood right when you are actually turned on. It should annoy me more than it does, but the whole horny-con RPG idea is so specific and so unapologetic that I keep walking around the halls, starting another questline, hoping the next summoned geek girl is even more fucked up than the last one.

Con-Quest feels like somebody mashed horny con culture and a shitty magic RPG together after watching way too much hentai, and honestly, that’s exactly why it works. You’re wandering around this ridiculous anime convention where all the girls are stuck in cursed cosplay, and your “heroic” job is basically to go around stripping the magic off them, making them cum silly, and then collecting them like pervy achievements. You toss out spells that hit like budget Pokémon moves, catch these corrupted cosplayers mid-fight, and every time you beat one, the game rewards you with a new lewd scene or pin-up that actually feels earned instead of just thrown at your face. It’s not subtle. One moment you’re frying a witchy Pikachu girl with horny lightning and the next she’s tied up, panting, her costume half torn, cheeks wet, begging you to “finish the quest.” The writing keeps winking at you with dumb jokes while still letting you enjoy the fact that your magic basically works like a consent spell for filthy scenarios. It shouldn’t be hot, but it is.

What I really liked is how the game leans into the parody without losing the fetish energy. The con is full of girls in outfits that are just one ripped seam away from hentai disaster: the Bulbasaur cosplayer with vines that behave way too much like tentacles, the Pikachu girl who shocks you when she’s turned on, the shop NPCs that keep slipping into random cutscenes where they flirt, tease, and then act offended when you stare at their tits. Battles are short and stupid in a good way: you’re juggling mana, throwing the same three spells, cursing a bit when the stun doesn’t proc, then suddenly she’s on her knees in the reward screen, boobs bouncing in a short animation that loops just long enough for you to forget you were supposed to play “tactically.” The game pretends to be about quests, but really it’s about that moment when you unlock a new animation, zoom in, and realize somebody cared enough to draw every little jiggle and drool string. It’s messy, it’s horny, the UI clicks feel cheap, the gashapon RNG made me want to punch my screen, and the dialogue sometimes reads like horny Twitter, but at the end you’re still there, wandering the con, hoping the next girl you “save” will moan a little louder when the magic bursts her cosplay apart.

Con-Quest is like getting lost in the horniest anime convention on earth, then realizing the dungeon is actually the dealer hall and every random encounter is a girl in a too-tight costume who wants to either fight you, fuck you, or both in the same five minutes. It pretends to be this goofy little RPG, with silly jokes and parody monsters, but after a while your brain just goes “ok whatever” and your hand is already on auto-pilot any time you see a new cosplay girl appear. The whole thing feels like someone mashed together a con schedule, a hentai folder, and an old-school RPG Maker project, then kept adding new lewd scenes every time fans yelled at them on Newgrounds and Patreon. It shouldn’t work as well as it does, but here we are.

The best part for me is how it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. You walk around this convention where everyone is half-naked and half-cursed, and suddenly you’re in a “battle” against some magical girl knockoff whose outfit looks like it lost a fight with gravity. You’re throwing items, doing simple attacks, trying to “capture” girls for your collection, and the game rewards you with these stupidly hot scenes where their outfits tear, or their spells misfire, or they end up tied up in some very not-PG pose. It’s like the game is constantly saying “yeah yeah, plot, whatever, here’s another horny cosplay disaster.” One second it’s joking about well-known anime titles, next second it’s just straight-up hentai with cum everywhere and you forgot there even was a quest log. Some of the humor lands hard, like when the boss thinks she’s this epic dark sorceress, but her attack animation looks like a cheap kids show and then her clothes pop off in a way that would absolutely get that show banned. Other jokes are just dumb and fall flat, but honestly by then you’re not reading, you’re staring at thighs.

I really like that it’s not polished in that AAA way. The sprites and CGs have this messy, horny energy, like the artist was giggling half the time drawing tits bigger than the character’s head, and the animations sometimes loop a bit weird, but it actually makes the whole thing feel more personal, more “made for us” instead of for some imaginary horny focus group. You wander around, bump into some girl dressed as a wizard, lose the fight on purpose just to see what the “punishment” scene is, then reload and win so you can see the other version too. There are these little moments, like when you’re in a random hallway with nothing happening, and suddenly you trigger a silly side event with a cosplayer whose costume is falling apart piece by piece while she tries to cast spells and keep her tits inside the fabric at the same time, and you just think “yes, this is the real endgame.” There are small things that annoy me, like how sometimes you want to replay a scene and the game makes you slog through a bit of clicking again and again, and you never quite know if you missed a secret lewd event or if it just isn’t there yet. But that kind of chaos is also what keeps me checking back for new episodes, seeing which character got turned into magical fodder next. If you want to squeeze everything out of it, my only real advice is: click on stupid stuff, lose on purpose sometimes, and never trust a girl in a cute outfit holding a magic staff. She’s either going to blast you or blow you, and honestly, both routes are worth seeing.