You know what's weird? I downloaded this thinking it'd be another cheap cash-grab using stolen assets, but honestly... there's something oddly charming about how janky everything feels. Like, you've got Bowsette right next to Tsunade having coffee while Android 18 complains about her hair, and somehow it works? The whole thing runs on Koikatsu cards which means the character models look decent enough, though don't expect AAA polish here.

The dating sim mechanics are pretty straightforward - you pick a girl from this massive roster spanning everything from My Hero Academia to Dragon Ball to fucking Vocaloid characters, then try to sweet-talk your way into their pants. Some conversations feel genuinely funny, especially when the writers clearly had no idea what they were doing with certain franchises. Watching Frieren act like a horny teenager is... an experience. The sex scenes range from vanilla missionary with Princess Peach to some wild tentacle stuff with monster girls, and yeah, there's plenty of titfucking and footjobs if that's your thing. Oral scenes are animated well enough, though the physics can get wonky.

What really got me though was stumbling across this random voyeurism scenario with Komi-san where you're basically just watching through a window, and it felt more intimate than half the actual sex scenes. The game doesn't take itself seriously at all - you'll have Harley Quinn making Batman references during foreplay while Yor Forger somehow ended up in the same room discussing assassination techniques. It's absolutely ridiculous and I kept playing just to see what bizarre crossover would happen next. Sure, the UI looks like it was designed in 2005 and sometimes characters clip through each other during the steamier moments, but there's something endearing about this chaotic mess of anime waifus all existing in the same horny universe.

The first thing I thought when I opened *Lusty Buccaneers* was, “oh god, it’s going to be another lazy parody,” but then the main menu music hit me with this weirdly sensual flute loop that made me laugh and also kinda set the tone. You’re this half-dressed pirate guy who somehow keeps running into women that look suspiciously like they escaped from a certain famous anime, only now they’re way more interested in licking rum off your chest than finding treasure. I didn’t expect the story to actually *try*, but it does - sort of. One minute you’re fighting a sea monster, the next you’re having a long, awkward talk with a woman whose boobs look like they could sink a small ship. The writing swings between goofy and horny like it can’t decide if it wants to be a joke or a fantasy, and that’s exactly why it works.

There’s this scene with Nami - well, “Nami” with an extra vowel somewhere - that’s supposed to be a negotiation, but halfway through she just leans in and starts teasing you with her foot under the table. I swear I dropped my phone. The animation is smoother than it needs to be for something that’s basically porn with dialogue, and yet it still glitches when you try to scroll back during a titfuck scene. The devs clearly love their characters though; even the background girls have these tiny details, like the way Vivi’s eyes flick up when she’s pretending not to stare at you. Sometimes the pacing goes nuts - you’ll go from a group sex scene straight into a heartfelt chat about loyalty, and I couldn’t tell if I was supposed to be turned on or emotional.

What I weirdly liked most is that it doesn’t care about being consistent. One moment the protagonist is this cocky bastard, next he’s shy like a schoolboy when Boa gets too close. It makes him feel more human, even if his anatomy clearly isn’t. I wish they’d fix the dialogue box though - it covers half of Robin’s face during the best parts. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe pirates never get clean views of anything. I don’t know. I just know I kept playing longer than I meant to.

You start as this smug bastard who already turned Tsunade into his personal toy some years ago, and the game just treats that like normal Tuesday. No big drama, just “yeah, she’s mine now, what’s next.” That already tells you the tone. You’re not here to be a hero. You’re basically weaponizing mind control to build your own village with a harem of kunoichi from everywhere, and the story is very honest about it. The vibe is closer to some fucked-up fan doujin than a “proper” visual novel, which I liked way more than I should. It looks simple at first, just text and 2D scenes, but the scenes are animated enough that when Hinata drops to her knees and you order her to “prove loyalty with her mouth,” it actually hits. There’s this one early scene where you test your improved technique on Kurenai, and you see that moment her eyes glaze over, her whole serious-jonin act just melts, and you can push her from “I’ll never obey you” to “should I use my tits or my tongue first, Master?” with like two choices. It’s wrong, it’s hot, and then it’s somehow even more wrong.

The funny thing is, the corruption is not even subtle. You charm, you push, then you flip the mental switch and suddenly someone like Temari, who normally would snap your neck, is awkwardly trying to give you a footjob because you told her this is “Sand Village protocol.” She complains, you tease, a bit of groping, and then the animation kicks in and she’s rubbing your dick with her toes while her face is this perfect mix of pissed and turned on. I kinda loved that. And then I hated how sometimes the pacing just dies between scenes for no reason. You get a brutal gangbang-style group sex setup with Mei and Samui on their knees, Tsunade in the back stroking you with her tits, creampie after creampie, and then the next bit of story is just walls of text about politics, like I didn’t just watch the Mizukage drooling on a cock that is technically controlling her brain. The game likes to drop you from intense anal with Ino straight into talky exposition about “support from other villages” and I kept wanting to yell at my phone. Yes, I’m on a bus, yes, I’m reading about Sakura getting her virginity stolen in a storage room behind Ichiraku, I have no shame, but at least keep the horny flow going, you know?

What I keep coming back to is how it handles power. It’s not romantic at all. You’re the guy who already broke Tsunade and now treats her like living proof that your technique works. At one point you use her as a demonstration, ordering her to lick Ayame clean after you finish inside her, like you’re showing off a trained pet. It’s fucked, but the game doesn’t pretend otherwise. The male domination is heavy, there’s BDSM flavor, and the harem thing isn’t some fluffy family vibe, it’s more like “these girls belong to my new village, and by village I mean my dick.” One moment you’re forcing Karin to ride you until she passes out, the next you’re making Hinata and Tenten play with toys on each other while you sit back and decide who gets your cum. Lesbian scenes feel like you’re watching puppets you pulled strings on, especially with the mind control touches, and I mean that as praise and also as a bit of a “Jesus Christ, dude.” There’s a corruption route where a girl who starts shy and stubborn ends up begging for anal, asking you to mark her womb, and you realize the game quietly shifted from teasing handjobs to full-on harem breeding fantasy. It pretends to be “just” a parody, but after a while, you’re in too deep to call it that with a straight face.

You roll into Dusuka City thinking it’s just another “smart dude goes to rich-kid academy” story, and then the game hits you with this weird mix of horny slice-of-life, lowkey superhero shit, and fucked up family tension that kinda sits in your head longer than it should. You’re the male MC, obviously, but he’s not the usual cardboard pornstar puppet, he actually feels like that guy who thinks he’s smooth because he watched too much porn, then freezes when a girl actually grabs his dick. The adoptive mom energy is heavy from the first scene, like she’s way too close, way too worried, and the camera knows exactly where her tits are at all times. She’s nervous, you’re confused, and that awkward vibe never fully goes away, even later when you’re deciding whether to grope her in the kitchen or pretend you’re a decent human. The incest tension is kind of the point, but it doesn’t jump straight to “ok we fuck now”, it teases the hell out of you first. She’ll sit too close on the couch, talk about “family” while her cleavage is trying to escape, and the game just lets you stew in it.

The academy itself is like a horny sandbox playground wrapped in a school setting, with everyone way too hot for a place that supposedly cares about education. You wander around, chase events, check your phone way too much like you’re on Instagram instead of a porn game, and slowly figure out that yeah, you’ve got powers. Not “save the world” stuff, more like “I can nudge minds and maybe get away with sliding my hand up a thigh in class” kind of powers. It’s scummy, and the game knows it, so it throws female domination at you as a counterweight. Some girls just do not give a shit about your abilities and will ride your face like you’re the one under their spell. There’s this scene with a senior chick with huge tits, where you think you’re going to control her, and she just flips it, sits on your lap, and uses your cock like a toy while telling you exactly how small you are without her. Handjob, titfuck, footjob, whatever, she cycles through it like she’s testing a feature list, and yeah, I still think about how her heel pressed on your chest while she jerked you off. Completely unnecessary, completely great.

The lesbian stuff sneaks in sideways, you’re not always the center. Two girls in a study room “helping each other relax” while you spy through a door, and you can decide if you intervene with your powers or just watch them eat each other out on the desk where midterms happen. The teasing is relentless: girls brushing against you in the hallway, random groping choices where you know you shouldn’t but you click anyway, big asses and big tits animated just enough that you think “ok, one more scene” then realize your dick’s already out. There’s a lot of dating sim flavor too, picking answers that either make the girl melt or make her step on your ego. I liked how sometimes you get rewarded for acting like a perv, and sometimes you get punished and dragged into this femdom moment where she pins you, strokes you painfully slow, and only lets you cum when she’s done using your mouth. The only thing that really pissed me off is how the phone app vibrates in-game with a tiny little icon that looks like a real notification, made me check my actual phone like an idiot every time. Never got used to it. Anyway, the game is messy, horny as hell, a bit mean, and kind of charming in that “I should not be enjoying this family situation, but here we are” way.