Thief of Hearts feels like someone mashed a crime thriller with a horny family soap and then forgot to take out any of the messy bits. You play this young guy who is supposed to be a smooth criminal, sneaking around a city full of cameras, cops and idiots, but somehow most of your “heists” end with a naked ass pressed against something expensive. One second you’re planning a break in at a fancy apartment complex, studying guard routes on a shitty tablet UI, the next second you’re peeking through a door and catching your voluptuous “relative” bent over the couch, skirt around her waist, boobs swinging while she fingers herself to some cheap porn audio. Game just lets you stand there and watch, zoom in on her big tits, listen to all those needy little moans, while a small timer in the corner is like “leave before she notices”. Of course you don’t. You stay, you get caught, you get called a pervert, and then five dialogue lines later she’s pressing your hand between her thighs and asking if you’re “as hard as you look”. Morals die very fast here.

The pacing is weird in a nice way. You’re supposed to be building a crew, doing jobs, choosing who to trust, but the real choices feel more like “do you grope her on the bus or wait until she’s in the shower” and somehow both paths end in a blowjob anyway. There is a whole school arc where you pretend to be a normal student, but half the time you’re staring at thick asses in too-tight uniforms, helping some innocent looking girl “practice stripping” for a party that obviously turns into a private dance for you. Clothes slide off, bra hits the floor, she tries to act shy while her nipples are already hard and your hand is under her skirt. The animations are not perfect, sometimes the hips move like they forgot basic physics, but when she’s on her knees and you see that slow, wet handjob morph into sloppy oral, with drool on her chin and this lazy eye contact, it suddenly doesn’t matter. You get a lot of teasing too, women grinding on your lap during group meetings, lips brushing your ear while they talk about “targets” and really mean your cock. There is milf content all over the place, thick moms with heavy tits who pretend they’re oh so worried about your criminal life and two scenes later they’re riding you in the kitchen, tits bouncing, calling you their “bad boy” like that excuses the incest vibes at all. Vaginal, oral, mutual masturbation, some voyeur stuff when you spy on more than one person at once, it all stacks up until the actual robbery feels like a polite excuse to get everyone naked in the same room. I kinda hate how one of the best animated scenes is just a small thing in a stairwell where you pin her against the wall, yank her panties aside and slide in while she tries not to be loud because the rest of the crew is right below you. Also the save menu icon is ugly as fuck and I think about it every time I climax and then forget what I was mad about.

Game feels like somebody ripped a horny Overwatch fanfic out of an old Discord server, glued a point and click shell on top, then actually bothered to give it different endings instead of just spamming “good girl, now swallow” until credits. You’re this nobody guy who somehow ends up on a date with D.Va, and it starts pretty cute, like awkward flirting, small talk, her showing off a bit, lots of teasing. Then you blink twice and suddenly her lipstick is smeared, her mascara is half ruined, and you’ve got her on her knees between your legs, looking up with that fake innocent smile and an ahegao that would get banned on Twitch in one second. It goes from “omg senpai noticed me” to “yeah, you belong on your knees, don’t you?” so fast my brain lagged harder than my old laptop opening Chrome with 20 tabs.

What I like is how the game lets you be either soft yandere or full corrupted asshole without telling you “this is the good route” in big friendly letters. You can actually romance her a bit, take her on what feels like a real date, be gentle when you touch her thighs, enjoy her being bratty and smug. She flirts, she jokes, she pretends she’s in control. Then you can casually twist it: a bit of blackmail here, public teasing there, one choice where you “accidentally” grope her ass too long, another where you push her to show more skin in front of others. The humiliation creeps up slow, like a virus, until she’s jerking you off under a table with people right behind the door, trying not to moan while you call her a filthy little camgirl. It’s actually kind of romantic in a fucked up way, which makes it worse, so of course I loved it. Although, I’m still annoyed the text box sometimes covers her feet right when the footjob scene starts. I kept trying to drag it with my mouse like an idiot, like this is Photoshop, not a porn game. Still pisses me off and there’s no option for UI scale.

Sex scenes are messy in a good way. You’ve got her riding you in POV with her tongue out, cum dripping down her belly, then suddenly a branch where you can shove her face into the mattress and go anal, or keep it sweet and just keep thrusting into her pussy until she begs for a creampie. Sometimes the game lets you share her, too, and watching her get used by more than one guy while she pretends she hates it, then her eyes roll back when they cover her face, that hits a very specific brain kink. There’s also a route where you switch from dominant to kinda submissive, letting her sit on your face, grind that big ass on your mouth and talk down to you while she uses a toy on herself, and it’s weirdly adorable and degrading at the same time. You can screw up and get endings where she leaves you, or where she’s just broken, used, a little doll who masturbates for strangers’ approval while you watch from behind a screen like some creepy producer. My only real complaint, besides that damn text box, is that some transitions feel like someone skipped a couple pages in the script; one moment she’s just blushing from a kiss, next moment she’s being filmed covered in cum in front of other people, like I missed three important choices. But honestly, it still felt closer to late night horny roleplay on Telegram than a clean, polished porn VN, and that chaotic energy kind of fits her.

This one feels like you woke up in some cheap fantasy hentai, but everyone accidentally got way more backstory than expected. You start as the usual dude with too many women orbiting him, but the moment that witch girl walks into your house, the whole family vibe flips. She’s all mysterious and smug, pretending she’s just passing by, and five minutes later she is basically tangled in the daily life of your mother, your sisters, those twins who are a bit too touchy for “just siblings”, and even that MILF neighbor who keeps bending over right in front of the window like she’s doing an OnlyFans preview. The game leans hard into the first person stuff, like it really wants you to feel that she is staring straight into your eyes when she jerks you off slowly, whispering about “changing fate” while your cock is the only thing actually changing. And the magic? Mostly an excuse to have girls flashing tits at the worst possible time, teleporting into bathrooms, and “accidentally” mind controlling someone into stripping in the living room while the rest of the family walks past.

Sex scenes hit that messy, not-romantic-at-all mood I like. First blowjob with the witch is not some clean, perfect porn thing. She gags a little, drool everywhere, her mascara almost running, and she keeps looking up with that crazed ahegao face like she’s half drunk on cum and half trying to see your future in your dick. There is this group moment later, where the twins corner you in the hallway, one pressing your hand on her ass while the other slowly guides your cock between her thighs, using her body like a warm toy. They tease you to pick who gets the creampie, but of course the game is a tease too and drags it out, tossing in the witch spying from the stairs. She pretends she is just “observing destinies” while fingering herself. That scene stuck in my head, mostly because of how fucked it gets when the camera stays glued to your POV and you only catch glimpses of boobs and asses around you, like a chaotic harem storm. Also, the sound sliders are a small thing, but cranking up the moans and lowering the text box opacity on my phone felt oddly satisfying. I was playing on Android Chrome, half-screened while fake-working on Google Sheets, and I almost tapped the wrong window when one of the girls started yelling your name during anal. Still a bit annoying you need to pause and dig into the menu for the gallery, but then you open it and realize you already missed two scenes because you picked the “nice” option earlier. Fate is a bitch, yeah, but that’s kind of the point here. Everyone smiles, flirts, jokes, you think it’s all comfy romance, and then the story drops some darker hint about people dying in other timelines and you suddenly notice how clingy the witch is, how she talks about “keeping you” like you’re a pet. Sex keeps getting hotter, more daring, more exhibitionist stuff, peeking on girls masturbating through cracked doors, titfucking in the kitchen while someone walks by behind the frosted glass. The more the harem grows, the more it feels like you are walking toward a bad end that will taste amazing going down. Honestly, if this game doesn’t end in tears, curses and a broken family, I’ll be a little disappointed.

This one feels like someone grabbed a bunch of messed up fairy tales from an old Tumblr archive, poured too much horny into them, then stitched them together with tape and spite. You jump from one little “chapter” to another, each about a different princess or monster girl, and it never quite behaves the same way twice. Sometimes you’re clicking through choices like a horny gremlin, sometimes you’re stuck on one screen just staring at a princess in chains while deciding if you go full bastard or pretend to be a gentleman for three lines before ruining everything again. It has that cheap 2D CG look that somehow fits perfectly, like fanart that escaped from DeviantArt and learned how to talk dirty.

The Disney parody angle is not subtle at all. One moment you’re in a desert palace with a very not-licensed princess in transparent harem pants, the next you’re watching her milk drip through the fabric because some “blessing” of a magic artifact turned her into a walking cow fantasy. There’s actual choices around that too: keep her as a humiliated slave, drag her to the shop to buy toys and chains, or pretend to “free” her and then chain her to the bed anyway when she tries to run. When the genie shows up, he’s not doing three wishes, he’s doing “how much anal, how much oral, and which hole gets the creampie first.” It sounds crude but the writing has this weird emotional whiplash. You get moments where she spits insults, calls you a monster, you spank her until she does that stupid ahegao face, tongue out, drool, and then three clicks later she’s asking why you didn’t kiss her after you fucked her. Absolutely romantic. Totally normal.

Then there’s the monster girls and the more… questionable stuff. The game does not care about comfort zones. There is ***, humiliation, bestial stuff, that feeling of “oh shit, I should not be aroused by this, and yet here we are.” A lamia coils around your guy, squeezes until he can’t breathe, then uses him like a living dildo. A corrupted princess rides a centaur while you watch and jerk off like some pathetic court wizard who lost control of his own spell. At some point I spent like five minutes just trying to click the right option so I could see the lactation scene loop again, because the way her breasts bounce when the magic spell forces her to squirt on command is genuinely hot in this stupid, low-budget way. And then, in another branch, that same girl is surrounded by a group of guards, getting used one after another, cum dripping out of every hole, and she still has that princess pride in her face like she’s trying not to break while you decide if you go for a handjob ending or shove toys into her until she cracks.

What I like is how inconsistent it all feels, in a good way and also in a “who wrote this at 4 in the morning on Red Bull” way. Some scenes are pure male domination power trip, where you drag a chained girl by the collar, make her lick your boots, force oral until her eyes roll up. Then suddenly you hit a route where a demoness sits on your chest, slaps your face, makes you cum with just her feet and your own hand, and laughs at you for being her little toy. There is one bit I keep thinking about: that stupid little shop screen where you buy a cheap-looking vibrator, take it back to the dungeon, and the scene changes only by this tiny drawn toy in her hand, but the dialogue completely flips her personality. She goes from sobbing *** victim to desperate, horny mess begging you to push it deeper while your character mocks her for loving it. The game pretends to be a light parody, but some of these stories end like a punch in the gut, with the girl broken, collared, used by monsters and men, covered in cum, and you get this short line of text hinting that, in another path, she could have escaped with a girlfriend instead, living a quiet lesbian fantasy far from the palace. You will probably ignore that and reload for the anal gangbang anyway.