This thing is such a weird mix that it already feels like a party game I’d pull up on my laptop when everyone’s a bit too horny and a bit too shy. It’s basically you, your dick, and 2B pretending to be your chaotic life coach while rubbing your brain with “48 Laws of Power” and rubbing… other stuff too. She’s not the quiet, stoic android from the original game here, she talks more like some slightly unhinged, overconfident camgirl who read one self help book and now thinks she’s your personal mentor. Half of the time she’s quoting Robert Greene, the other half she’s teasing you about how easily distracted you are by her thighs. And she’s right. The text jumps between “here is how to play power games in conversation” and “ok, now edge for me until the next law.” Very educational. Very stupid. Very hot.

What I really like is how unpolished it feels, in a good way. Some lines read like the dev typed them at 4 coffees in, no editor, just raw horny brain. There’s this one moment where 2B is explaining something about controlling how much you talk in a social situation, then the dialogue box suddenly shifts and she calls you out for clicking too fast and “not actually absorbing shit, just scrolling for tits.” I actually laughed and then, of course, slowed down like a good goon. The porn scenes are not subtle at all. She leans hard into the classic “I’m above you, but I’ll reward you if you obey” thing, with simple 2D art that really loves her ass and those legs. No pretense, no artsy metaphors, just “here is your android mommy dom reciting power strategies while making you ache.” Sometimes the pacing is all over the place: you get two laws packed tight together, then suddenly a long teasing stretch where she just keeps you on the edge and repeats similar lines, and I started thinking about what I needed from the grocery store. Then she dropped a line about “weaponizing silence in conversation” while telling me not to touch myself and I was suddenly paying attention again. The sound is mostly minimal, but the tiny clicky effects on choices and the occasional moan feel almost too loud, like when Pornhub starts an ad while you forgot your speakers are up. I wish there was more music variety, but honestly, I also kind of like the quiet, like she’s coaching you one on one in a hotel hallway at some anime con and you’re just praying nobody hears. It’s dumb, horny, and kind of helpful in a way that would make any serious therapist cry, and I’m absolutely going to “practice my social skills” with it again.

There is this cat girl in college who honestly feels like she’s born under some weird star. You start with her just trying to be normal student, go to lectures, maybe pass exams, but very fast it turns into “how horny can internet be today” situation. Instacat is everywhere here, it feels like that cursed app on your phone that you know is bad for mental health but still open every five minutes. Every choice you make for her, you feel this mix of “I want her to find true love” and “yeah ok post that thirsty selfie in the dorm bathroom with the towel almost falling off.” The game lets you lean into both. One moment she’s shy, ears low, tail nervous, trying to talk to that one cute classmate in the cafeteria. Next moment she’s grinding in some party, her crop top sliding up, nipples kinda poking through, everyone filming, and you are staring at the option like: do I lean into the scandal, or save her reputation a bit. I told myself I’d protect her. I did not protect her at all.

What I really liked is how small choices snowball into horny chaos. You say yes to a “study session” with this flirty cheerleader cat girl and then suddenly you have her on your lap, licking your neck, purring in your ear, hands creeping inside your shorts, while textbooks are just sitting there like decoration. Then you later see the Instacat story of that night and realize some other character saw it too, and future scenes change, more jealous text messages, more late night calls, more “come to my room, we need to talk” that never stays only talking. There are proper sweet moments hidden inside all the filth, like when you comfort another girl who crashed hard from a scandal, hugging in her dorm bed, tail wrapping your waist, kiss starting soft then turning into that slow, breathy grind under the sheets, underwear pushed aside, bodies very close and sticky, with this feeling like you are not just hooking up, you are choosing her. It feels fated sometimes, like “ok, this route is the one the universe wanted” even if you arrived there by being a total horny disaster. The game makes you laugh at stupid memes, then two clicks later you’re watching your cat girl ride someone on a desk in an empty classroom, skirt bunched at her hips, claws digging into shoulders, moaning loud enough that if destiny is real, it is definitely a pervert.

You wake up on this ugly rust bucket of a fishing ship, wearing an orange sweater that keeps trying to crawl up over your borrowed tits, and everyone is calling you Vilma like that is totally normal. You know that feeling when you're lying to every single person in the room and your dick is half hard at the same time? Yeah, that feeling is basically the whole game. The dev clearly loves Halloween junk and classic mystery cartoons, but everything is twisted just enough that it looks like the cheap porn parody DVD you find in the wrong section of the store. Scrooby keeps shivering, Saggy looks like he smells like wet dog and weed, and you are the “smart girl” with the big ass who is supposed to solve a murder in five minutes or get blown the fuck up by some letter bomb. And of course the real Vilma is naked and tied up in a storage room, annoyed, horny, and way too clever for her own good.

The fun part is how the timer hangs over your head while you are trying to decide if you should drag another clue out of Nymphne with actual logic or just bend her over a crate and fuck her until she starts talking. I wasted two full runs trying to see how much I could get away with before the bomb went off, just speedrunning bad decisions. Took me a bit to realize the “deduction table” is not just flavor text. You slap evidence on it like a crazy wall, except instead of red string you have your cock and some pretty mean dialog options. One run I focused only on interrogations, squeezed Ford until he spilled half the plot, solved the murder like some nerd god, and then realized I had barely touched Vilma in the hold. Next run I did the opposite: ignored half the questions, kept going back downstairs, playing good cop / very bad cop with her. Her reaction when you pretend to be her, while she is tied up and watching you strip off “her” sweater, is nasty in the best way. Also, the jiggle in some of the animated loops is honestly stupid good, then on the next scene a hand looks like it was drawn by someone using a mousepad in a bus. It made me laugh, then still made me horny, which is kind of impressive and also annoying.

What really sold me is how the voyeur stuff is baked into the whole structure. You’re pretending to be the smartest girl on the ship while the real one is naked furniture in the next room, and the game keeps tempting you to leave her there just a little longer so you can wander around and peek at everybody’s secrets. I kept pausing on the same detail: her glasses. When you put them on and walk into an interrogation, people suddenly trust you, but you know they actually belong to the girl who is currently gagged and getting her ass toyed with below deck. The contrast between playing the clever detective and then going downstairs to use her like a cum-dump clue dispenser is filthy in a way screenshots don’t show. Some of the humor hits hard too, like when Saggy tries to tell you he “respects women” while staring at your chest, or when Scrooby freaks out at the idea of anal like that is somehow worse than the murder. I had one run where I solved the case perfectly, unlocked a fancy sex scene with Nymphne, then realized I had missed a tiny conditional flag in the storage room so the Vilma finale variant didn’t trigger and I actually growled at my monitor. Still going back to clean up those last few CGs like a pervert completionist.

Empire of Heroes looks like somebody smashed Pornhub, a Marvel fanfic subreddit and a horny DeviantArt gallery into one long fever dream, then forgot to hire an editor. You start as this dude who is technically a “hero,” but honestly he feels more like a guy who spends half his time saving the city and the other half trying not to stare at boobs that look like they could file for citizenship on their own. The world is packed with powered people, but almost everyone you actually talk to either wants to punch you, ride you, or both in some weird order. One second you’re in a rooftop fight where your power is going off like a bugged-out Discord notification, next second you’re flirting with a girl whose costume has less fabric than my old gym socks. The mood keeps jumping from dramatic comic-book speech to “fuck me on this couch before the villain shows up,” which sounds bad, but somehow it kind of works, like watching The Boys on mute with Pornhub audio in the background.

The big charm is how dirty and stupidly playful it gets without pretending to be classy. There’s this scene where you rescue a heroine who’s supposed to be this serious, veteran type, and ten lines later she’s teasing you about how “stress relief” is part of a hero’s duty while she grinds on your lap in a torn suit. The camera is obsessed with asses, not gonna lie. Every time a woman turns around the angle zooms like it was made by a guy who grew up pausing Netflix to stare. Some choices matter too: if you act like a cocky bastard, some girls actually like it and push back, if you try to be “good guy” hero, you still end up with your face between huge tits half the time. Fights are there mostly to justify why everyone is half naked afterward, covered in dust and barely holding their tops together. It’s less “tactical combat” and more “foreplay with punching.” At one point I paused my Spotify because the sex scene was actually hotter than the porn I had open in another tab, which is a weird moment of self awareness.

What kills me is how the story pretends to be super serious with mystery and conspiracies, then throws in a joke about hentai or some meme-tier line like “this is not even my final form” during a boss fight, then five minutes later you’re balls deep in a villain girl with glowing eyes and a laugh that should not be turning me on. The humor is very internet: horny, dumb, sometimes cringe, occasionally perfect. They drop little in-jokes about OnlyFans, Twitter cancel mobs, even some cheap shot about people who still use Facebook, and all of that is happening while your character is trying not to explode in a woman with thighs like a Marvel budget. Not everything hits; some scenes drag, there are times where two girls argue like a bad CW show and you just want them to shut up and start making out already. The pacing is a mess, like eating a full pizza and then suddenly someone throws a cake at your face, but when the game leans fully into “superhero soap opera where everyone is horny and slightly unhinged,” it kind of nails exactly that trashy, late-night energy that makes you think “ok, one more scene” and then you realize your right hand hurts more than your mouse.