You’re broke, pissed off at everything, and kind of numb already when the game just tosses Rei at you like some bugged NPC that wandered off the tutorial area. She’s sleeping on the sidewalk, dirty, hungry, weirdly cute, and clearly fucked by life even harder than you are. You poke her awake, expecting some quick “thanks” then she runs off. Nope. She sticks. That’s where this thing actually starts to feel fun: two losers trying to pretend they’re adults while everything around them screams “game over” in slow motion.

It’s half “try not to starve” and half “try not to jerk yourself raw”, and the balance is way more fragile than I want to admit. One moment you’re counting every coin, juggling shitty jobs on your phone like it’s some cursed version of a finance app, checking if you can afford basic food for both of you. Next moment, Rei’s in that tiny room, wearing clothes that might as well not count as clothes, asking if you “want a break”. You’re like, yeah, obviously, but also rent exists. And it kind of becomes the loop: work, feed her, talk to her, spy a bit when she thinks you’re not watching, unlock new scenes, repeat. There’s this stupid thrill when she leans over you with those huge tits and gives this shy-but-not-that-shy handjob, and the game treats it like you just hit some romance flag you didn’t deserve. Then she does something ridiculous, like trying to “thank you properly” with a messy titfuck after a shitty day, and you forget you were supposed to be planning your budget at all. I actually laughed once when she tried to make giving you a blowjob sound like some noble reward and then gagged halfway, eyes watering, and still pushed through because she didn’t want to “fail”. That hit my corruption braincell and my “this is terrible but hot” braincell at the same time.

It’s also kind of fun how the story wanders around like it’s drunk. Sometimes it plays like a parody of every poverty romance you ever saw, making fun of your pathetic room and your tragic wallet. Sometimes it suddenly drops a bit of sweetness that feels like you walked into the wrong genre, like when she curls up on your bed just to sleep and you can choose not to touch her at all, just watch, like a creep with feelings. Then later she’s straddling you, pussy grinding over you, moaning way louder than that cheap room’s walls can hide, and you get hit with that “I really shouldn’t be doing this but I’m already in balls-deep” vibe. There’s a bit of that harem teasing too, like the world is full of other girls that might fall into your orbit if you push the sandbox parts hard enough, but Rei feels like the main disaster you’re signing up for. It’s messy, a little trashy, sometimes oddly tender, like a dating sim that got lost on a porn site and decided to stay. You’re poor, horny, watching this girl slowly change under your influence while you sc*** by, and somewhere between the voyeur peeks, the cheap dates, and the rough sex on a bed that looks like it smells, it kind of starts to feel like a fucked-up fantasy that never pretends to be anything else.

There’s this lazy-ass witch lying in a hammock with tits that are technically a health hazard, and somehow you’re the responsible adult in the room. That’s the basic mood. The whole world is this silly fantasy mix of horny monsters, smug magical girls, and weirdos who think “public indecency” is more like a dress code. You’re not just clicking through porn scenes, you’re actually juggling gold, energy and these four stats that sound like some RPG parody: Martial, Mystic, Charm, Trickery. It feels a bit like someone smashed a fetish VN together with a light strategy game and then just… kept all the horny parts. One run I tried to play her as a serious, powerful witch, always picking the smart Mystic solutions, and two choices later she’s on her knees worshipping a monster girl’s cock while her boobs jump up another cup size and I’m laughing at myself for thinking I had control here.

Calling it “breast expansion focus” is almost funny, because it’s not just a tag, it’s the entire spine of the game. Every run ends up turning into a science project about how far you can push those sizes before she’s basically a walking beanbag chair. The wild part is that the scenes change with her size, so a blowjob with small boobs feels totally different than the same encounter when she’s at “crush-her-own-face” levels. You get tiny details like her trying to hold her tits out of the way while she’s riding some furry wolf knight who’s way too proud of his armor, and then later that same guy just buries his hands in her chest and uses them like handles while you watch the text describe how she can barely stay upright. It’s ridiculous. It’s hot. It’s also kind of stupid in the best way. There’s a lesbian witch duel that turns into mutual groping in mid-air, one of those monster girls that’s more teeth and tongue than sense, and a smug noblewoman who switches from icy female domination to being bent over a balcony once you figure out which stat to poke her with. Sometimes you “win” a fight by outsmarting them, sometimes by letting her submit on purpose, because of course if she gets fucked, the stats get weird and the boobs get bigger. There’s no game over, just different flavors of “congratulations, you’re getting railed.”

If I had to give it a fake jam trophy, it’d be “Best Use Of Gravity As A Fetish Mechanic.” The way the writing leans into the size changes is oddly consistent, even when the tone is goofy. At low sizes, she’s flashing people just to get free drinks. At mid sizes, there’s a whole run where she’s stuck trying to squeeze through a dungeon door while a slime monster girl gropes her from behind and it takes way too long, text-wise, but I couldn’t look away. At stupid sizes, there’s a scene where she tries to cast a serious spell, trips over nothing, and ends up pressed into the dirt, ass up, boobs pinned under her chest like two living cushions while some armored monster uses her like a toy. I wished for an option to just leave her there for the rest of the game. The strategy side is simple but not brain-dead, like managing stamina in Hades but horny and slower, and you start optimizing which enemies you want to “lose” to because their dom scenes are funnier. Not every encounter lands, the humor sometimes feels like reddit cosplay captions, and there’s at least one exhibitionism bit in a city square that keeps mentioning the crowd but barely describes a single face. Still, it sticks in your head after you close the browser. That lazy witch, half-asleep in her hammock, tits overflowing her robe, asking if you really want to push for one more quest when she can barely walk? Yeah. Don’t play this on your work laptop. Actually, do. I dare you.

Rowan is supposed to be the boring happy-ending guy. War hero, tiny village, hot wife who actually loves him, all that fairy tale stuff. Then the game basically grabs him by the balls and drags him back into the kind of world you’d expect from some depressed fantasy writer who jerks off to demon girls. You start with this vibe of “retired hero, quiet married life,” and in like five clicks you’re knee-deep in demons, cult shit, political mess, and way too many chances to ruin your marriage just because somebody looked at you with glowing eyes and big tits. It pretends to be about grand fantasy and the six kingdoms, peace after the big war, blah blah, but the real hook is watching Rowan and Alexia slowly bend, crack, and sometimes completely snap under pressure. You’re pushing them into deals with monsters and nobles, letting them get corrupted, watching them cheat or get used, then acting surprised like “wow, how did this happen.” Yeah, sure. Totally an accident when you sent your wife into that obviously horny monster girl’s lair in lingerie.

The whole thing is built around choices that feel like you’re playing with their souls instead of stats. Sometimes you’re managing the castle and moving troops, and it looks almost normal, like a strategy sim wearing a cheap porn costume. Then out of nowhere you’re arranging a threesome, or letting your hero get pegged by some smug demon, or forcing him to watch as his wife “negotiates” with a noble who has more gold than morals. One moment you’re clicking through political scenes that feel straight out of some low-budget Witcher fanfic, next you’re in a sweaty lesbian ritual with a priestess who clearly skipped the part of the holy book about modesty. There are futa demons with cocks that look like they have their own skill tree, horny elves who act like they discovered group sex and never stopped, and that one early scene where you know you shouldn’t flirt with the mysterious woman, but your dick does the decision-making and the game quietly writes your marriage’s death flag in the background. Sometimes it leans into female domination so hard Rowan basically turns into a toy in his own story, and sometimes you steer Alexia into being the one who gets off on being “pure” while doing the filthiest oral in the realm. Half the fun is that you’re never really sure if you’re still the hero, or just the bastard pulling all the strings while the world rots in a very hot, very wet way.

Riveroaks looks like one of those nice West Coast towns from Instagram, but this game keeps poking the dirty meat under the skin. You play this broke guy who gets kicked out of home and suddenly finds out his estranged dad is a porn mogul with a new gay studio that needs a handler. Not in the fun BDSM sense. In the “sign contracts and worry about profits while staring at six packs” sense. Half the time you are trying to pretend you are a professional businessman, the other half you are trying not to get a visible boner during casting. The fun part is how casual the world treats sex. Everyone already knows you are Leonard King’s kid. Baristas flirt with you like they want a role, gym bros stretch way too close, and every conversation has this small chance to slide into filth. One second someone is talking about lighting, the next they are describing exactly how they want to be fucked on camera, and the game just goes “yeah this is normal”. As a horror nerd I like when a city feels like it has a pulse, and Riveroaks kind of hums like something alive and wet. Every location feels like a different fetish altar. The arcade with sticky neon, the gym with its sweaty muscle cult, the cute café where the “nice guy” director talks about art and then asks if you are comfortable filming a three-way with a choke scene. None of this is subtle. Sometimes it is hilarious and awkward and horny at the same time, like when you are reviewing test footage and realize the actor is staring straight into the camera, dirty talking you of all people, and the dialogue actually acknowledges your flustered silence instead of pretending you are a blank self insert.

What surprised me is how much the management part and the romance keep stepping on each other’s toes. You choose what kind of scenes to produce, who to cast together, what kinks to push, and later you have to sit with the people you just turned into “content” and maybe flirt with them, or listen when they tell you about their trauma, or both. There is this one moment where you schedule a shoot with a cocky twink and a quiet older guy, thinking “ok, this will sell, simple power play vibe”, and by the time you watch the preview cut you realize they actually clicked emotionally in between all the deepthroating. Then the game asks you, softly but not really gently, if you want to push them harder next time for profit or let them have a slower, sweeter scene. Of course I picked the darker option because I am weak and also curious. The aftermath hit harder than I expected, but then the next scene is just a stupidly funny argument in a bistro over whose ass looks better on camera, so your feelings never get to settle. It is messy, like real life, only with a lot more cum. The main character is weirdly relatable too. Not some porn god, just this slightly lost young dude who keeps flipping between horny, bitter, and accidentally caring. One route has you teasing a muscular cameraman in the locker room, trading nasty jokes until he corners you in the shower and asks if you are just playing or if you want him to ruin you for real. Another has you sharing late night drinks with an actor who looks like he walked out of a yaoi doujin, talking about family while his hand sits a little too high on your thigh. The sex scenes commit. They use the dirty words, they linger on bodies, they let you taste that feeling of being looked at like fresh meat. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you jump from intense emotional build up to “ok, we are sucking dick now” with almost no breath, but honestly that clumsy cut has its own charm. Porn is rarely tidy. In my head I almost read Riveroaks like a cult story, only the cult is gay porn, and instead of summoning Cthulhu you are summoning audience engagement with horny thumbnails. There is something quietly corrupting about how normal it feels after a while to treat desire as a spreadsheet thing. And then a cute guy smiles at you from across the studio, half naked, and you stop caring where exactly your soul went.