Hilbert is supposed to be this big hero who finished his whole pokemon journey, right? Instead you meet him when his life is kind of fucked. Car crash, dreams shattered, and his Hypno just vanishes into thin air like it got bored of being a good little partner and went hunting for trouble. That alone already sets the mood: this world is not the safe PG region you remember from your childhood. Nuvema Town is now basically a legal sandbox for human and pokemon “free relationships”, and yeah, that means exactly what you think it means. You come back home and the place feels familiar and totally wrong at the same time, like returning to your old school and finding out it turned into a sex club with a research budget. The game sells that feeling hard. You walk through this chill little coastal town, talk to Serena or Gloria or whoever you bump into, and every conversation is half normal, half “wait, did she just casually mention fucking a Gardevoir like it’s normal brunch topic?”

The fun part is how the game drip feeds this. It doesn’t start with some giant orgy scene. Instead you get those moments where Nurse Joy looks a bit too happy when you mention Hypno, or Fennel is suddenly very interested in your “brainwave reactions” and asks if you can help her test something in her lab, just the two of you, lights low, machines humming. There is a scene with Juniper that really stuck in my head: she starts all professional, lab coat and serious talk, then it slowly slides into this weird mix of scientific curiosity and raw hunger. She talks about “inter-species bonding” while leaning over the desk so her big tits are almost spilling out, and you’re half listening, half thinking “is she going to ask me to help her with data or just bend me over the fucking chair?” And the game kind of refuses to separate those two. That’s the vibe all over. You’re not just clicking through porn; you’re wandering around a town where the line between research, romance and straight-up hentai bullshit is gone, burned, buried, and Hypno probably jerked off on the ashes.

Not everything hits perfectly, which is funny because the game doesn’t pretend to be polished. Some dialogues feel like the writer was horny, distracted, then came back and forgot what tone they started with. One moment you’re getting this heavy emotional talk about how Hilbert’s future was destroyed in the crash, next moment Mallow is just tossing horny jokes about “juicy berries” and you’re thrown into a scene where Tsareena is acting like a dominatrix with vines and legs for days. There is this small thing that annoyed me: the way fonts resize on mobile sometimes when a text box pops up in the middle of a hot moment, like you’re about to nut and suddenly boom, text overlap, because yes, this is a mobile game and your thumb is in the way. I swear it happened right when Officer Jenny started talking about her “special inspection procedure” and I had to move the dialogue box a bit and it killed the rhythm. Still, the animated bits make up for it, especially when Hypno’s influence starts to show in people’s eyes and bodies, and scenes with Delia, Hilda, or a smug Serena go from teasing to full-on, explicit “this is pokeporn and we’re not pretending otherwise”. Then out of nowhere the game throws in some gay tension with Cheren or Hilbert’s reactions to certain guys, like it’s poking you to see what you’ll pick. It all feels messy, horny, experimental, like someone mashed a dating simulation with a corrupted nostalgia trip and said, fine, let Hypno run wild, let Nuvema Town drown in research and cum and nobody is going to stop it.

Argleton looks like some sleepy small town from those old Facebook farming games, but it feels more like your horny browser history got stuck inside a dating sim and started breathing. You just show up there, like it is normal that a whole city is cut off from the world, and nobody questions it. People just flirt, joke about weird stuff, and somehow every second “innocent” chat at the coffee shop ends with somebody talking about dicks or chakra or some Marvel-level mutation. It has that lazy sandbox feeling, where you’re supposed to “relax”, but every click wants to drag you into another scene with big tits in your face and a choice like “be a gentleman” or “bend her over the sink”. Sometimes both. Sometimes you pick the “nice” option and somehow still end up with her riding you in POV while making ahegao like she is trying to catch flies with her tongue.

What kills me is how the game pretends it’s all just goofy humor and slice of life, then suddenly you are in a cosplay bar talking with a Milf dressed as Chun Li, and she is asking if you prefer anal or titfuck while she strokes you under the table. You think, “ok, it is just chat teasing”, and then she pulls your cock out and starts a handjob in full view, like exhibitionism is just Tuesday here. The dialog tries to be funny, sometimes it really hits, feels like a dirty Reddit comment, sometimes it sounds like Google Translate had a stroke, which honestly fits my soul. I played on my phone in a bus with brightness too high, and of course that is exactly when some X‑Men lookalike mutant girl is sucking me off with glowing eyes and the guy next to me pretends he does not see. The animations are not Hollywood, but when a girl with thick ass bounces on you, tits jumping all over, it’s enough. Creampie shots look sticky and rude, in a good way. Then ten minutes later you are just clicking around town map again like nothing happened, stalking icons like Instagram stories.

What really messed with me is how many different flavors of horny they cram in without making a big speech about it. One scene you are giving a shy virgin a soft first-time vaginal sex in romantic candle light, POV, trying not to scare her, then later you are spanking a cosplayer dressed as Kitana, pushing a dildo in her while she laughs and begs for more. There is a lesbian thing in the park where two girls start groping each other for “practice” and drag you in like a living sex toy. A Milf neighbor with big tits uses “yoga” as excuse to grind on you until you accidentally cum on her feet and she just shrugs, wipes it, and offers a footjob “to relax you properly”. Some storylines are sweet, almost too wholesome, romance and dates and small talk, and then suddenly you are choking a girl who asked for more domination, pounding her ass and watching her roll her eyes back. The point and click stuff is simple, you tap, you choose, sometimes you grind money or affection, classic mobile time waster, but with groping in changing rooms and girls sending you masturbation clips at night. I kept taking censored screenshots for my folder and laughing, because half of them look like normal town life, and the other half is just some girl in cosplay costume, spread wide, filled with your cum like that is part of the local tourism program. It should not work, but it does.

You’re the guy behind the “casting couch” camera this time, not the hero saving worlds or the clueless harem protagonist tripping on boobs by accident. No, you’re the one who gets to look Raven in the eyes while she tries to pretend she’s not already wet on the leather sofa, you’re the one telling Zelda to turn a little more to the side so the camera can “catch the light” while you’re actually just admiring how her royal ass fills the frame. The game throws you into this cheap-looking studio with a shitty couch, a camera, a few options, and then just casually drops girls like Ochako, Rem, Hestia, Lucoa, Cheelai, Mina, Meiko and the rest in front of you like a horny gacha pull that finally paid off. They sit down, they fidget, they ask why the camera is already recording, and you decide how fast you want that fake interview to turn into a full-on porn shoot.

What makes it fun is that it doesn’t pretend to be high art. The “story” is basically you asking dumb questions like some budget Pornhub producer, choosing dialog lines that push them toward undressing, sucking, riding, or getting their tight little anime pussy filled on camera. One moment you’re being “professional”, asking Hestia about her talents, the next you tell her to stand up and spin slowly, and suddenly that boob window dress feels about two sizes too small. You can play it smooth, tease them, be kind of respectful, or just cut through the bullshit and ask them how many guys they’ve fucked. Sometimes they blush and stutter, sometimes they smirk and lean forward, tits almost pushing out of the screen, and there’s this tiny thrill when you realize you picked the line that makes them say “fine, but don’t stop filming.” The animations are simple but filthy enough, with a lot of focus on big tits bouncing, big asses slapping, deep-throat shots, messy ahegao faces and that moment where your cock finally disappears inside them and they moan like they’ve been waiting all day for it. There’s vaginal sex, sloppy oral, cum all over their faces, cum in their mouths, cum on their boobs, you get the idea. Sometimes the pacing is weird and you jump from casual chat to dick-in-mouth a bit too quick, but honestly, that’s also exactly how these fake casting videos feel on those shady sites you pretend you don’t visit.

What really hit me was when Dexter’s mom walked in, acting like some bored MILF who just “needs extra cash” and then five clicks later she’s on her knees, ass in the air, huge hips wobbling while she takes every thrust like it’s a workout. Or Meiko from Prison School, trying to keep that strict teacher tone until you tell her to kneel and she slips into obedient mode like it’s the most natural thing ever. Toga’s crazy eyes staring at your cock, Mina acting all bubbly while drool runs down her chin, Raphtalia trying to stay polite while you make her ride you for the audition, Android 18 pretending she’s above all this before you make her swallow. It’s shameless fanservice, totally horny, not subtle at all, and that’s honestly the whole charm. The dialogue sometimes repeats and the sound can be a bit lazy, I kinda wish there were more variants of reactions when you pick different answers, but when Rem is moaning with your dick buried deep in her and Zelda is waiting in the lobby for her turn, it’s hard to stay mad about anything. It feels like scrolling horny Twitter, browsing Hentai Haven, and stumbling into an endless casting tape where every waifu you ever crushed on is finally told to take off her clothes and prove she deserves a spot in your private collection.

You start with this half-dead hotel that looks like it smells of cheap cleaner and old sex, and somehow it becomes this weird little universe where every floor has a different flavor of horny drama. It looks like a normal dating sim at first, like “oh yeah, I’ll just talk to the girls, raise some stats, classic stuff”, and then three scenes later you’re holding a trembling elf maid by the hips while she tries to act all proper and obedient and ends up squirting all over the new bedsheets you saved up to buy. And you’re thinking: ok, I just wanted romance, why is there a menu option for nipple clothespins in the housekeeping budget. But you still click it.

The hotel thing works too well. Everyone is under your roof, so you bump into them doing absolutely everything. You go into a hallway thinking you’re just going to check repairs, and you catch one girl “cleaning” a window with her tits pressed against the glass, tongue out, full ahegao, while someone down in the street could totally see her. It counts as voyeur and exhib stuff at the same time and the game doesn’t even wink at you, it just lets it happen, like yeah, this is just Tuesday here. You can be the pure romance guy and still the world keeps trying to corrupt you. There’s a religious girl praying in one scene, acting shy like a virgin, and later you’re there timing her orgasm denial with your phone while she begs for just one more thrust and you’re like, ok, maybe I’m not “pure” anymore. I kept telling myself I’m avoiding the nastier paths, and two minutes later I’m watching a lactation event where I was only trying to give comfort and suddenly there’s warm milk and a helpless girl calling you “master” in this shaky voice. Total accident. Kind of.

What really got me is how your role shifts without a big “you are a trainer now” sign. One moment you’re like a soft-spoken manager who buys cute maid outfits and simple cosplay ears, the next you’re running what is basically a private bdsm spa on the top floor, where you decide who gets the collar and who just gets spanked until their ass is bright red and they can’t sit in the café. Some girls push you around too, it’s not just male dom. There’s a yandere type that goes from clingy to “if you fuck anyone else I’ll break their legs” energy, and she rides you so hard you legit feel like the slave instead of the trainer. Then later the same night another girl kneels down in the lobby and gives you a slow, careful blowjob like it’s a love letter, and you remember why you came here for romance at all. But then there’s some fucked up family route on the side, anal stuff mixed with “we shouldn’t do this” whispers, a footjob in the laundry room, a titfuck in the elevator when the doors keep almost opening, group sex in a suite where everyone’s moaning your name at once, and somewhere in the middle of that mess you’re still checking income stats on your phone and thinking about upgrade costs like an idiot. The hotel keeps growing, the harem keeps getting bigger, some girls get their breasts reduced while others suddenly swell up like a fantasy elf breeding project, and you’re walking around your own building knowing exactly which room has a girl quietly masturbating, which one hides a camera for your voyeur habit, and which bed has fresh cum drying in the sheets because you didn’t even bother with pulling out after that last creampie. It’s romantic in the trashiest way, and trashy in a way that somehow still feels kind of sweet.