Didn’t think I’d even bother with another “casting couch” parody, but WaifuHub kinda trapped me there for a while. It’s one of those browser things that pretends to be ironic, except it isn’t, or maybe it is, I don’t even know anymore. You play as the guy behind the camera, interviewing all these anime girls you’ve seen a million times before - 2B shows up all confident and stiff, Raphtalia’s nervous like she’s in a real audition, and Lucoa just… well, she’s Lucoa, she doesn’t care what anyone thinks. The voice acting’s weirdly uneven, and sometimes the moans cut out at random, which somehow made it more real? Like catching some clumsy home-recording vibe. But yeah, the animations hit that point between funny and hot. You’ll laugh when Galko starts her self-introduction too seriously and then forgets she’s supposed to be seducing you, and then it hits you - you’re actually into this.

What got me wasn’t even the sex scenes (well, okay, some of them). It’s that stupid fake dialogue right before things go wild. Meiko saying she’s “totally professional” and then two sentences later losing it on camera - it’s dumb but oddly human. I kept noticing small stuff: the sound of sandals scraping, the way hands twitch when the pace changes. The dev probably didn’t plan half of that; it’s just dirty accident magic. Though I swear the skip button hates me - it freezes every other time I touch it. Doesn’t matter though, since you end up watching everything twice anyway. And Cheelai? She breaks the fourth wall once and it ruined me, I laughed so hard I forgot I was supposed to jerk off.

Somewhere around Mitsuki’s scene I caught myself thinking about how strange it is that we build whole universes of desire around characters that started out as jokes for teenage boys. Then I gave up thinking because Mina’s turn came and - yeah. Animation’s rough around the edges, lines are bad, the logic is nonsense, but damn if it doesn’t feel alive in that broken way cheap porn sometimes does. I still can’t figure out why 2B blushes differently depending on the camera angle. Maybe it’s intentional. Probably not. Doesn’t matter.

Mistbury looks like one of those quiet anime towns where nothing bad ever happens, right until you notice that every second girl has eyes like she just walked out of a horny nightmare and a romance VN at the same time. You’re the “normal” guy here, going to school, jerking off to your phone, trying not to stare too hard at your classmates’ ridiculous curves, and then suddenly the whole place starts peeling open like rotten wallpaper. One moment you’re sneaking a look up a skirt in the corridor, the next you’re breaking into a prison, chasing cult secrets, and somehow still finding time to get your dick sucked behind the gym. It feels like someone took a wholesome shounen plot, dipped it in porn, then said “yeah, that’s fine, add demons and anal too.” The funny part is how casual it treats the corruption. You flirt a bit, talk a bit, maybe help a girl with some “innocent” favor, and a few events later she’s on her knees panting, mascara a mess, letting you fuck her throat like it’s the most natural next step after math class. That slow slide from shy romance to “please come on my face” feels way closer to certain drama anime than to usual porn, just with way more fluids and less censorship bars.

What really sticks is how the game loves to tease you with mood swings. One scene you’re in a spooky mansion, flashlight shaking, creepy sound in the hallway, feels like classic horror, music low, something breathing just off-screen. Then you open a door and find a curvy teacher in torn clothes, scared out of her mind, clinging to you, tits pressed to your chest, asking you not to leave her alone. Two choices later she’s bent over a dusty desk while you fuck her from behind, her moans echoing off the walls like some cursed ASMR. Same thing at school: hallway drama, romance flags, a little blushing hand-holding on the rooftop, then at home you’re jerking off thinking about it, and the game just lets you do it, hand moving, cum dripping, camera staying way too long on the mess like it’s proud of you. I kinda hate how your phone gets more action than you at the start, with those late-night masturbation scenes where you scroll through pics and vids and choose which memory to bust to, but it also sets the vibe. This is a world where sex is always one bad decision away, where “helping a classmate study” can end in you raw-dogging her on a chair while she tries not to scream your name, and the story about saving everyone from Astaroth keeps sliding to the background every time a pair of huge tits bounces into frame. On mobile it feels extra dirty, like watching hentai in the bus and hoping no one looks over your shoulder while a fully animated blowjob plays, tongue and spit and that wet sucking sound that makes you instinctively lower the volume. And then you put the phone down, promise yourself you’ll be a hero next time, not a perv… and of course the next scene starts with a girl in a tight uniform asking if you want to “relax together for a bit.”

It starts messy, in the best possible way. You’re tossed into this warped version of the galaxy far, far away - not the kind that smells like burnt metal and destiny, but one thick with sweat and bad decisions. The whole thing feels like a fever dream that someone spun out after one too many Holonet smut threads. You’re the guy who somehow made it to Jedi Knight while everyone else got distracted by the war or by each other’s asses (and they’re massive here, holy hell). Half the time you forget why you’re supposed to be saving anything because Barriss bends forward mid-dialogue and the robe just... doesn’t hold. Then there’s Aayla, all cool confidence until her mouth opens, breathing hard like she’s half-daring you to break the code. They all do that. Even Padme - who says words about diplomacy but arches her back every time your name drops. It’s ridiculous and hot at once, like watching porn on mute during a political debate.

The turn-based fights almost feel like foreplay. Every encounter teases longer than necessary, camera angles doing that thing where you can’t tell if you’re fighting monsters or auditioning them for something darker. When Bo-Katan shows up, the whole tempo changes - less talk, more bite - and suddenly the lightsaber doesn’t look like a weapon anymore. My favorite stupid detail: in the menu, somebody coded a “meditation” button that just leads to sex scenes. Lazy? Sure. But it fits. Nothing here pretends to be noble; it’s all dirty Jedi business in slow motion. And when the game finally pops one of those creampie endings, you don’t even blink. You just chuckle, fix the screen ratio on your phone, and keep pressing through because apparently defeat can look like victory if the moaning syncs just right.

Weird thing is - somewhere between the teasing and the parody nonsense - it stops feeling like a joke. You catch yourself liking these twisted versions more than the real ones. Maybe that’s the Force talking. Or just the fact that the writing knows exactly how low you’ll sink for another glimpse under a Jedi robe.

War is technically happening somewhere in Ahras, but this game treats it like background noise while you’re busy staring at tits and trying to remember which herb makes people extra horny and which one just makes them lactate like a busted tap. You’re not a hero, you’re an alchemist refugee who stumbled into this “safe” city that looks peaceful on the surface and then slowly shows you it’s basically a fuck buffet with a fantasy veneer. The guild hires you because they need potions, but everyone treats you less like a worker and more like a walking excuse to experiment on their own bodies. You sit in this little workshop, surrounded by bottles, stains on the table that probably aren’t all chemical, and a constant stream of adventurers with big asses, bigger chests, and problems that can always, somehow, be solved by you touching them a bit too much while “checking side effects”.

One of the early moments that hooked me is when this knight girl comes in, all stoic, armor too tight around her tits, complaining about fatigue and sore muscles. You brew a stamina tonic, misjudge the ratio on purpose, and she ends up flushed, nipples hard and leaking through her tunic as the potion pulls milk from somewhere deep in her body. She tries to keep a straight face while her breasts get heavier, her voice shaking as she asks if this is “normal for alchemy”. You don’t even answer, you just ask to “inspect for adverse reactions” and suddenly you’re cupping those huge, warm tits, thumb brushing a nipple while milk beads at the tip, and she’s trying not to moan in the middle of the lab. The art sells it: soft lines, slightly messy, like a sketch that got horny and refused to stop. Nothing too polished, which actually fits the setting; it feels like a dirty notebook you shouldn’t be reading at work, yet here we are. I played this on my phone in the bathroom at the office using Firefox and honestly, it was dangerously manageable. One hand scrolling, the other hand, well. Let’s just say Face ID almost failed after.

The game plays loose and lazy with time. One moment you’re buying ingredients from a smug cat-eared merchant girl whose tail won’t stop twitching when you brush against her, the next you’re babysitting a monster girl party member whose idea of testing a transformation potion is to ask you to grope her thighs while they shift. The sandbox feeling is there: you pop open the menu, poke around quests, forget the main story because some stacked cow-girl adventurer just unlocked a “special” alchemy route involving milking tools and “stress relief”. There’s teasing everywhere. Furry ears getting pulled, tails wrapped around your waist, hips grinding your lap under the excuse of “balance training”. One scene has a mage using you as a chair while reading, your hands pinned under her ass, and when you finally wriggle free she smirks and “accidentally” spills a potion that makes her clothes almost transparent. The story pretends to care about redemption and trauma, then ten minutes later you’re testing a breast enlargement recipe on a shy healer who’s clearly into you fondling every new inch. I kept getting annoyed that the merchant’s inventory page loads like half a second slower on mobile than the other screens and then forgetting it mid-fap because the next CG drops some new angle of a fat ass sitting on your face. It’s messy, horny, weirdly cozy, talks about war like it’s weather, and treats bodies like clay you can knead, pinch, fill, and milk until everyone’s panting and your workshop smells like sex and herbs.