Wet Sand feels like somebody mashed together a horny Wattpad pirate fanfic with a decent point and click game, then actually bothered to make the sex look hot. You play as Fabian, this "oops I’m a captain now" guy who basically gets thrown onto a ship, surrounded by cutthroats and horny weirdos, and somehow every crisis turns into flirting or someone on their knees. It starts kind of light, just you poking around the ship, clicking barrels, checking cabins, reading little notes, that kind of usual VN rhythm. Then suddenly you’re in a cabin with a monster girl with fins on her hips, and she’s teasing you about being too soft for pirate life while she’s literally licking your cock like it’s some sacred ritual. The game does this a lot: calm scene, bit of worldbuilding, then bam, blowjob with heavy breathing and wet sounds in your headphones. I was playing with Spotify open, then had to slam it off because the moans and gulping felt way more intense than my sad indie playlist. Also, side note, whoever handled the animations likes saliva. A lot. The camera just hangs there on lips, tongue, that string of drool sliding down, and it kind of overstays but also I didn’t skip. Not even once.

The funniest thing is how it pretends to be all "serious pirate adventure" and then keeps nudging you straight into horny trouble. You talk to this one pirate girl who looks almost normal at first, just a bit too pale, long hair, sexy smirk, and then she flashes her teeth and yeah, those are not human. She threatens to eat you and then, of course, decides oral in a totally different sense is better. The game throws in romantic vibes too, like soft candle light, slow talking, some lines that try really hard to be poetic. Sometimes it works and you get this cozy, almost wholesome scene where a monster girl curls around you in the bunk and talks about old gods while stroking your chest. Sometimes it’s cringe as hell but in a charming way, like a horny teenager wrote the dialogue after watching Black Sails on mute. There’s a small moment on deck that stuck with me: you’re choosing how to handle a crew argument, very basic VN choice stuff, and if you pick the more caring option, later one of the girls thanks you by getting on her knees behind some crates while the crew is nearby. That sneaky public-but-not-quite tension hit way harder than the more "epic" scenes with tentacles in the background and ancient statues looking at you. I give Wet Sand the highly scientific award of "Best Use Of A Ship’s Storage Room To Suck A Captain Dry" because that cramped little space ends up way more memorable than the giant god scenes.

What I liked is that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. The romance is there, yeah, but the game knows you’re here for pirates and monster girls deepthroating the captain until he forgets his own name. Sometimes the pacing just collapses, like you go from talking about fate and curses, to two seconds later staring at jiggling tits bouncing in a loop while she moans your name, and it feels like the story lost its train of thought as badly as you did. But somehow that fits. The fantasy world feels lived in, even if half the lore is delivered between spits of cum and sloppy kisses. There’s a scene where the girl wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, laughs, and casually goes, "Captain, the sea took your fear, but I’ll take something better," and it sounds corny written down, but in context, with the animation and her eyes shining a bit too bright, it just clicks. I kept thinking, "this is trashy," while clicking to the next sex scene as fast as possible. That contradiction kind of is the mood of the whole thing. Wet Sand is messy, horny, sometimes dumb, sometimes weirdly tender, and it keeps shoving you into the role of this clueless guy who stumbles from pirate drama to monster girl oral like it’s the most natural path.

God Tier Academy feels like somebody smashed a horny dating sim into a shounen anime and then said, “yeah ok, but what if we don’t give the MC any actual power and just see how fast he dies.” You’re this dude with busted, unstable magic, officially a nobody, secretly shoved into the top freak school in the country as a spy. The teachers can blow up buildings, the students are literal walking disasters, and you’re trying not to shit yourself while a government officer on your phone reminds you they’ll ruin your family if you run. It’s great. It’s also stupid. In a good way. Mostly.

What really got me is the tone whiplash. One scene you’re in a dark hallway, some monster girl with a tongue too long to be legal breathing in your ear, the game doing that slow zoom while the sound design goes all wet and sticky. Next scene you’re in a normal classroom, fighting sleep while the big tit combat instructor casually explains how to decapitate a demon “before or after foreplay, up to you.” The romance stuff swings between actually sweet and “ok this is straight-up hentai logic.” You can be in a semi-serious convo about trust and betrayal, and two clicks later you’re in a group sex mess on a training field where someone is using a magic shield spell to keep the cum from hitting the grass. There is teasing everywhere, lots of it feeling like those old ecchi anime jokes, but then the game just goes full “nope, we are doing anal and multiple penetration right now, no fade to black.” I liked that it doesn’t pretend to be classy. I also hated that sometimes it pretends to care about school politics for longer than 4 lines, but I forgot that as soon as one of the girls did that ahegao with glowing eyes after a blowjob scene that transitions straight into a horror-styled jump scare. Don’t ask, it actually works. Kind of. Maybe.

Multi-lover stuff is where it gets messy in the best way. You can clearly angle for several romance routes at once and the game doesn’t slap your hand. There’s this one moment in a dorm common room where you’ve already been getting handjobs and oral from two different girls on different days, and a third one walks in, monster girl type with claws and soft voice, and realizes you’ve been flirting with everyone. Instead of the usual jealousy drama, she basically negotiates terms like a damn lawyer: “Fine, but when we do group training, you’re mine first.” That later turns into an animated group scene where she’s riding you, another girl is on your face, and some very enthusiastic dude from the combat club joins in like this is the most normal thing after sparring. The male-on-male angle is treated pretty casually, more like “yo, you’re hard, I’m hard, we’re in a storage room, why not” than big identity speeches, which honestly fits this setting better. There’s also a classroom scene where you’re supposed to be learning spell control, but everyone ends up using the practice barriers as privacy screens for blowjobs and quick anal, while the UI still pretends you’re making serious “tactical choices.” One tiny thing that drove me insane: the mobile interface sometimes hides the text box right when a character is mid-confession, so you tap, and suddenly you jump from “I think I might love...” straight into a creampie animation. No idea what she said. Probably important. I kept meaning to rewind, and then I didn’t.

You die on a shitty first date and wake up staring at Rias’ tits. That’s basically the tone right away. No long build up, no “oh no what happened to me”, just you flat on your back, her in that tight outfit, looking down like she bought you on discount and is not sure if the product is broken or just horny. And guess what, you now belong to her and her little devil harem, which is honestly the most honest contract I’ve seen in a while.

The fun part is how the game treats the High School DxD cast. Rias is pure power fantasy and also total brat. One scene she sits on your lap, pushes your face in her boobs, calls you her “pet project”, and later acts like she did you a big favor by letting you cum on her stomach instead of just her hand. Akeno shows up like a walking BDSM quiz: “Question one, how much electricity can your balls take?” and then giggles like it’s afternoon tea. The teasing is constant. They drag you through the school halls in that classic uniform vibe, Asia bumping into you, apologizing with her big soft chest pressed in your face while Rias watches with this lazy smile, like she’s checking if you’ll stay loyal or just melt. Then you blink and suddenly Miki is pinning you to the couch, hips grinding, acting like “oh, I’m just helping Rias break you in.” There is a scene with toys that actually surprised me: Akeno pushing a vibrator along your shaft while Rias is sitting a bit away, legs crossed, pretending she’s only here to supervise, but her panties are getting wet and you can see the 3D jiggle when she moves wrong for half a second. On the other side you have Raynare and the others popping in with that monster girl edge, wings, claws, that cruel smile. Kalawarna treats you like office property: titfuck as a “performance review”, stroking your cock with those heavy boobs, asking “Are you loyal to your mistress?” while you’re trying not to blow early, because the game actually lets you fail that scene if you mess the timing. Which is funny and annoying at same time.

Some of the humor hits really hard. Like Asia walking in on Akeno tying you up, then trying to “help” by joining, but she only knows sweet missionary, so the whole thing turns into this bizarre combo of soft, loving vaginal sex from one side and cruel female domination from the other. The animated bits are honestly the best thing here. Rias bouncing slowly while riding you, red hair falling over your chest, then suddenly she leans forward and whispers something stupid like “You’re only alive because I wanted a toy” and you’re like, okay, step on me more. The camera sometimes lingers too long on feet for no reason, which is weird but also kind of on brand for DxD degeneracy. There is one scene with Mittelt where she pretends to be all innocent and then uses a toy on you with this little smug grin, and the only thing I hated is that it ended right when it got really nasty. Also, small complaint: they make you run around the school for dialogue triggers a bit too much when honestly I just want Rias to choke me with her thighs again. The adventure parts are there, clicking around, choosing who to serve first, but my brain kept going back to Akeno’s “quiz” and that one time Tsubasa just silently grinds on you in the clubroom like it’s no big deal. It’s messy, horny, sometimes stupid in a good way, and somehow the fact you died on a date fades away under a pile of big asses, bigger tits, and very smug devils who know exactly how much control they have over your dick.

Millie's got that thicc demon energy that hits different when you're supposedly dead but somehow hornier than ever. This Helluva Boss parody throws you into Hell's most dysfunctional assassination company where the mystery of your own demise takes backseat to getting spanked by cartoon demon girls with impossibly round asses. The whole "solve your death" plotline? Yeah, that gets real fuzzy when Mildred's bent over showing off assets that defy both physics and good taste.

What starts as detective work quickly devolves into pure horniness wrapped in familiar red-skinned characters doing things Vivienne Medrano definitely didn't approve for cable. The paranormal elements feel more like convenient excuses to get freaky with monster girls who somehow make being dead seem like the best career move you never made. Male protagonist stumbles through Hell like he's got permanent brain fog, which honestly tracks when every demon chick is packing heat in all the right places. The cheating mechanics add this weird guilt layer that shouldn't work but absolutely does - nothing says "I'm investigating my mysterious death" quite like raw-dogging your way through the entire I.M.P. roster.

The spanking scenes hit with that cartoon physics energy where asses jiggle like they're made of premium jello, and honestly? The 2D art style works better for this kind of degenerate content than any realistic approach could. Helluva Game knows exactly what it is - shameless fan service disguised as mystery solving, where the real mystery becomes how many demon girls you can corrupt before remembering you're supposed to be dead. The parody elements nail that irreverent Helluva Boss humor while cranking the sexual tension to levels that would make Blitzo blush. Sure, the plot about your death exists somewhere in there, but good luck caring when Millie's teaching you new definitions of "workplace harassment."