There is something a bit fucked about walking into “your” apartment and your first real conversation is with a ghost that wants to blow you. Not in a fun, fluffy hentai way either. The game sets you up as this unlucky guy from the Devos bloodline, and the place already feels wrong before anything actually happens. Lights flicker, those cheap 3D shadows slide over the walls like they know your name, and then, boom, you look in the bathroom mirror and there’s a pale thing behind you that looks half depressed boy, half succubus. It smiles, and you’re thinking “ok, jumpscare?” but no. It kneels. That whole scene is animated with this weird slow hunger, and it’s honestly more uncomfortable than most horror movies on Netflix. In a good way, if you are into that mix of dread and dick worship.

The story pretends to be about solving a family curse, reading notes on your tablet, digging through old messages and voice memos your father left you, trying to understand who started all this paranormal shit. But the game keeps distracting you with horny ghosts and monster girls that do not respect personal space. You open a locked door with this simple puzzle and a ghost girl with empty eyes rushes up to you, sniffs your neck, then quietly asks if she can “taste living seed again.” That escalates fast into you pinned against the wall, her mouth deep on you, gagging and drooling, then suddenly she shifts on top and you are buried inside her while the UI is still pretending you’re investigating clues. At one point a femboi spirit in tattered underwear crawls out from under the bed, wraps your waist with this thin, shaky body, and just sinks down on you, riding in total silence while distant knocking sounds start in the hallway. Your MC is trying to ask “who cursed the Devos line?” while he is balls deep in a ghost that keeps tightening around him like it wants to drag his soul out through his cock. The game does not fade to black, it shows creampies in full detail, cum spilling from ghost holes that are not even supposed to be physically real. And then, after all that, the apartment goes quiet again, and you’re left scrolling through old diary pages on your phone, dripping, trying to pretend this is still about “mystery” and “romance” and not about how many times the dead can milk you before you finally understand why your whole bloodline is cursed.

Esterium feels like somebody’s horny D&D notebook that accidentally grew into a browser game, and I kind of love that it’s still rough around the edges. You get tossed into this messy fantasy world with a body you pick yourself: big-dicked futa amazon, soft trans mage, stacked barbarian girl with tits that look like they’d knock her off balance, or just some unlucky dude who wandered way too far from home. It starts simple, mostly text and some 3D-ish character shots, but the way the game talks to you has this awkward charm. One moment you’re reading about rusty swords and trading junk, next moment the description suddenly spends three lines on how your cock twitches under your armor, or how your nipples brush the inside of your leather top when you climb over a ruined wall. It’s a bit inconsistent, but in a kind of “oh, a real person is writing this while horny and tired” way that feels weirdly honest.

There was this moment where my futa barbarian was barely strong enough to leave the starting area. I thought, fine, gonna grind skeletons like usual. Instead of a big hype combat, the game just quietly lets you bonk a skeleton to pieces with a rusty axe and then spends more time describing the sweat on your abs than the actual fight. I was like, ok priorities understood. Then later I rerolled as a female mage, wandered in the wrong direction, and ended up in a forest that felt way too empty. Just birds, vague paths, some herbs, nobody to fuck, no monster girl jumping out of the bushes. I actually got annoyed, left the tab open, went to scroll Twitter on my phone, came back, and only then noticed I had missed a clickable option in the text. Suddenly, bam, you meet this monster girl with claws and soft curves, and the game flips from “standard fantasy exploration” to “she pins you to a tree and smells your fear before deciding she’d rather smell your arousal instead.” There is no smooth transition. It’s like the writer forgot they were making an RPG and remembered “oh right, porn” halfway through the paragraph.

The sex so far is short, but it hits specific buttons. There’s this focus on size, on how heavy your tits feel when you run, how your cock strains against your gear when a merchant leans over the counter and you get a hint of cleavage. It’s not super poetic, more like horny forum roleplay with slightly better grammar. Sometimes the pacing is just weird: a whole careful explanation of basic trading, then suddenly one sentence like “her tongue traces the vein along your shaft” and you’re like, wait, we’re doing this now? I like that you can be any of the three main body flavors and the world mostly reacts to your genitals instead of treating it like a big identity lecture. You’re a futa or trans type? Cool, here’s how your underwear feels when you walk, here’s how monsters grab you by the hips and test your “endurance” in a way that has nothing to do with hitpoints. I wish the combat and leveling were less prototype and more “I’m scared to fight that demon because she might absolutely break my back in the fun way”, but also, if they ever polish it too much, it might lose that sleepy, horny energy it has right now. It’s like catching a kink game at that stage where it’s still shy and a bit clumsy, but you can already see it wants to drag you into a dark alley and see how much your character can take before their legs stop working.

Millie's got that thicc demon energy that hits different when you're supposedly dead but somehow hornier than ever. This Helluva Boss parody throws you into Hell's most dysfunctional assassination company where the mystery of your own demise takes backseat to getting spanked by cartoon demon girls with impossibly round asses. The whole "solve your death" plotline? Yeah, that gets real fuzzy when Mildred's bent over showing off assets that defy both physics and good taste.

What starts as detective work quickly devolves into pure horniness wrapped in familiar red-skinned characters doing things Vivienne Medrano definitely didn't approve for cable. The paranormal elements feel more like convenient excuses to get freaky with monster girls who somehow make being dead seem like the best career move you never made. Male protagonist stumbles through Hell like he's got permanent brain fog, which honestly tracks when every demon chick is packing heat in all the right places. The cheating mechanics add this weird guilt layer that shouldn't work but absolutely does - nothing says "I'm investigating my mysterious death" quite like raw-dogging your way through the entire I.M.P. roster.

The spanking scenes hit with that cartoon physics energy where asses jiggle like they're made of premium jello, and honestly? The 2D art style works better for this kind of degenerate content than any realistic approach could. Helluva Game knows exactly what it is - shameless fan service disguised as mystery solving, where the real mystery becomes how many demon girls you can corrupt before remembering you're supposed to be dead. The parody elements nail that irreverent Helluva Boss humor while cranking the sexual tension to levels that would make Blitzo blush. Sure, the plot about your death exists somewhere in there, but good luck caring when Millie's teaching you new definitions of "workplace harassment."

This thing is messy in a way I kinda respect. You get tossed into this warped fantasy world where reality has given up, and apparently the local wildlife has tits, claws, and a very specific interest in human cock. The story talks in first person, so it feels like your horny inner monologue got kicked out of Earth and landed in a fever dream. One minute you’re getting smacked around in some turn based fight, the next minute you’ve got a monster girl pressed against a tree while you’re deciding if you want her whining from teasing, moaning around your dick, or riding you until she leaks cum everywhere. It flips from “oh no, danger” to “oh yes, fuck me harder” faster than my mood when Grindr crashes.

The whole thing is like running a very perverted HR department in hell. You manage your little crew, you juggle resources, you worry about who’s loyal, who’s useful in combat, and who’s just there because they let you grope them whenever you’re stressed. There’s romance, but it’s that fucked up sort, with girls who will absolutely let you creampie them behind a ruined shrine, then ask if you still like them when they’re pregnant with your half-cursed brat. Some scenes are soft and sweet, like slow oral where she’s shy and drooling, or gentle handjobs while she confesses feelings. Then five minutes later you’re shoving her face against a table, spanking her ass red while she tries to keep quiet and completely fails. The writing tries to be poetic sometimes, like it wants to win a prize, and then it goes straight into “her asshole clenched around me” without any shame at all. Honestly I love it. And also I rolled my eyes. Both things true.

Combat is that chill turn based style where you’re half reading the skills, half daydreaming about the next time some exhibitionist demoness gets pinned against a wall. Some fights actually matter and you’ll be min-maxing like a weirdo, other times you just mash buttons because you only care about seeing how much milk that busty priestess can spray when you pull her top down mid-dialogue. The game keeps throwing choices at you too: do you comfort her, or do you grab her tits; do you swear devotion, or fuck her raw in public while the shadows watch. Management and romance and adventure all tangled up in this slightly unhinged, emotional dude-brain that gets way too attached to monster girls he just met. I was reading on my phone in the bathroom, lost in some deep talk about devotion and despair, and two clicks later I had her swallowing my load and begging to carry my child. It should not work. It really should not. But here I am, remembering which route gave me anal, lactation, spanking, and a love confession in the same arc like it’s important info for my taxes.