You wake up already dead, which is a hell of a way to start a porn game, and this tiny chaotic goth gremlin called Misty is like “yeah ok, you fucked up, but I’m bored so here’s a new life, new town, don’t screw it up again.” Next thing you know, you’re in Mystic Ville, looking totally normal on the outside while walking around with magic in your pants. Not a metaphor. She literally dumped her powers into you and then acts surprised when you immediately start using them to peek under skirts, freeze time to stare at bouncing tits, and accidentally grope someone in slow motion. The whole thing plays like a horny cartoon series where you just tap around, click on random stuff, and suddenly you’ve got a naked girl stuck halfway in a changing booth, ass out, and you’re there deciding if you’re gonna help her… or “help” her. The game knows exactly what you’re here for, too. It throws you into these little episodes, like you go to a cosplay shop “just to look” and five minutes later there’s a busty catgirl on her knees fiddling with your zipper while pretending she dropped something. There’s this one bathroom scene where you’re using your powers to see through the damn stall and the girl inside starts touching herself, and the camera just hangs there, focusing way too long on her fingers and her thighs squeezing together. I actually had to pause because my phone got hot. Real hot. Or maybe that was just me. Anyway, the humor hits weirdly good sometimes, like Misty popping up mid jerk session to roast you for being a perv while you’re literally still stroking it. The MC talks a bit like a horny Reddit user, which is stupid, but it made me laugh once when he tried to act romantic and then immediately asked if her boobs were real. And the town looks all cute and cozy, but every second girl you meet is stacked and wearing something that clearly fails every dress code ever made. At one point I was trying to follow this “serious” plot about monsters in town, but then a vampire chick bent over a desk with her big ass filling the screen completely nuked my attention span and I forgot why I came there. I mean why the character came there. Whatever. The mobile version is honestly too dangerous in public. It plays fine, tap to move, tap to talk, tap to touch what you probably shouldn’t, and the animated scenes are way more intense than the still stuff. There’s this blowjob scene where the girl keeps eye contact the whole time, cheeks bulging, spit running down, and the movement is just rough enough to feel a bit messy, not all perfect loop like some sterile porn. It’s not even subtle about the harem thing, either. You flirt with one girl, fondle another, spy on the shy one masturbating behind her curtains, use your powers to mess with clothes, then the game is like “yeah they all kinda like you now, keep going.” Romance is there, I guess, in a horny anime way. They blush, you tease, they flash you “by accident,” you go home and nut over it. And then Misty shows up again, annoyed you’re using godlike power mostly to see nipples. She complains, threatens you, then hands you more ways to be a degenerate. Honestly she might be the real pervert here.

Public transport wifi is trash, Pornhub keeps buffering, so I ended up poking around this thing instead, and somehow it ate my whole commute before I even noticed. The idea is simple as fuck: you sit in this sleazy casting couch office, you’re the “professional interviewer” with a dick that thinks it’s the main character, and all these famous anime waifus walk in like they answered a shady Craigslist ad. It looks like one of those mobile VN ports you’d secretly tap through on the toilet at work, but it runs smooth in browser and doesn’t pretend to be more serious than it is. Girl shows up, you pretend to ask a few questions, then it turns straight into “how deep can she take it” faster than Instagram shows you an ad after you talk about shoes once.

The fun is how wrong it feels to see characters like Tifa or Asuna trying to play “shy actress” for two lines, then suddenly they’re on their knees, lipstick smeared, eyes rolled up in that full-on ahegao, spitting drool down your shaft while the MC keeps talking like this is some normal HR interview. One minute Kobayashi is awkward and stiff, sitting proper, skirt straight, asking if this is really “just a simple audition.” Next click, she’s bent over the arm of the couch, fat ass bouncing on your cock, glasses crooked, trying to sound professional while you pound her so hard the text box might as well just say “nnnngghhh” for three scenes. I had one run where Froppy came in super polite, stuttering a bit, tongue peeking out, and by the end I was making her swallow every last drop while she’s got cum on her cheeks, tongue out like some horny frog idol who forgot what modesty was. The oral scenes are honestly the best part. They let the camera sit a bit too long on the lips wrapped around that big dick, slurpy sound effects, stupid little bits of dialogue like “it’s bigger than I expected” that should feel cringe but I still clicked next like a clown. Vaginal stuff hits too, especially on the big tits / thick hips girls. Bulma riding you while pretending it’s “for science” made me laugh way more than it should. Her tits bouncing, her moaning into some bullshit excuse about “data collection” while your cock is basically rearranging her brain. And the MC is not subtle. There’s this one moment with Chizuru where she comes in with that rented girlfriend vibe, all polite smile and legs crossed, then the questions slowly get filthier until he’s basically asking “how many times you can cum on camera” and she just kind of gives up and spreads for him. No smooth romance buildup. Just straight to “get on the couch, open that pussy, let’s see if you can handle a creampie on first shoot.”

It’s all very obviously made to be “five minute fun” and yet I kept going through girl after girl like some horny goblin collecting skins in Genshin. The game acts like you’re running a low-budget porn studio, but there’s almost no management layer, just enough fake “casting” talk to justify why Tifa has your cock halfway down her throat. Sometimes that annoyed me. I actually wanted to pick outfits, choose lighting, fail a scene, bully them a bit more with choices. Instead it’s mostly “click line, get lewder, dick out.” But in a shitty way that also works, because when I’m half dead on the metro after work I don’t want deep strategy, I just want Asuna kneeling between my legs and calling me “director” while she drools all over my dick. I kept thinking, “ok, one more girl and I close Chrome,” then suddenly I’m watching Satsuki, who’s supposed to be this icy queen type, riding me with that smug face twisted into a full orgasm meltdown, tits bouncing like crazy, talking about how this is “only for testing.” It’s scuffed, sometimes the dialogue repeats, sometimes the transitions are janky, and at one point I got irrationally annoyed that the interview desk lamp is always tilted the same way. But when you’ve got a screen full of ahegao, cum strings on lips, big asses slapping against your hips, and a parade of famous waifus lining up to “audition” on your cock, that stupid lamp is the last thing you’re actually looking at.

Fresh out of college, the guy you play is already a mess. He runs back to his old hometown, this creepy but kinda cozy fantasy place that looks normal at first, then slowly shows all the freak shit going on behind every cute storefront. The story pretends it’s about “family secrets” and “what your parents did,” but honestly it’s about you wandering around town, flirting with anything that breathes and a few things that probably shouldn’t. One minute you’re talking to a sweet girl at the café, next minute you’re spying on twins making out in a dark alley, then suddenly there’s a monster girl with horns asking if you’re “good with your hands.” The game lets you approach stuff at your own pace like a sandbox, so you can ignore the heavy plot for a while and just chase thick asses and big tits whenever you feel like it. There was a point where I followed a milf NPC just because her hips were animated like some TikTok thirst trap, ended up watching her strip in front of a window while another character across the street masturbated to it, and the game literally rewarded me for standing there like a perv. That moment sold me more than any “main quest.”

The POV angle really helps with the dirty parts. When a girl drops to her knees and unzips you for a messy blowjob, it’s right in your face, sloppy sounds and all, like some Pornhub clip but actually framed with decent camera work. Ahegao isn’t used all the time, but when it hits, it hits hard: eyes rolled back, tongue out, your dick buried deep while her ass bounces against your hips and you can actually see her trying to keep her voice down so people in the next room don’t hear. There is this one scene where you’ve been teasing a shy bookworm for a while, sending her risky texts on her phone, forcing her to masturbate in her bedroom with the curtains half open, and you just watch from the street like a creeper. She starts with fingers, then you text her to use a toy, then to angle her phone so you see everything. Total power trip. It doesn’t stop at solo stuff either. Group sex shows up pretty early if you’re curious enough: a drunk party that escalates into you sandwiched between two girls on the couch, one riding your face while the other grinds on your cock, and if you pushed the right dialogue before, they end up kissing each other around you, taking turns with your shaft and sharing spit. Some scenes slide into proper harem territory, like when you basically collect girls around town and end up with three of them in your bed, each fighting for your attention, one going anal, one taking you in her mouth, one sitting on your chest moaning like she’s in some budget anime.

What I like is how the “romance” side actually exists but gets drowned in filth the moment you decide to be a bit rough. You can treat a character sweet, spend days chatting and slowly building trust on her phone, then switch into male dom mode and tell her exactly how to touch herself, how deep to take you, how much cum she’s going to swallow, and she just melts. There’s a scene with a milf neighbor where you pretend to be “helping” her around the house, and it starts with innocent touching, your hand sliding on her lower back, then unapologetic groping in the kitchen while she’s pretending to focus on the dishes. She tries to keep it classy, but you push her over the counter, lift her skirt, and fuck her pussy while people are literally walking outside the window. She looks terrified of being caught, but her expression breaks into that dirty ahegao as soon as you go faster. And yeah, anal is there too, not some checkbox thing but properly nasty: one girl makes you warm her up with a handjob and deep kissing first, then sits on your cock slowly, whimpering every time she takes another inch, and you feel it from the inside view. I wish the town itself reacted more to your voyeurism, like more scenes where you accidentally catch lesbians going at it in the locker room or a monster girl taking advantage of some scared citizen in an alley, but whatever, the stuff that is here already gives plenty of reason to sneak around. If you want the most out of it, don’t rush from one obvious sex scene to the next. Linger, stalk characters, check windows at “wrong” moments, push teasing as far as possible before you finally stick it in. Let the game make you feel like you really shouldn’t be watching, then watch anyway.

Whore Effect feels like someone modded Mass Effect after a long night, got horny, and never bothered to clean it up. In a good way and also not in a good way. You play as a very unprofessional Commander Shepard, a female captain who’s supposed to save the galaxy from Reapers but mostly keeps getting distracted by tits, alien pussy and stupid little errands that end with somebody getting creampied. The game doesn’t even pretend she’s noble. She flirts like a drunk, fucks like she’s speedrunning porn scenes, and still somehow pulls off the “good captain” thing just enough that you don’t feel like she should be court-martialed immediately. It’s a sandbox kind of structure, so you’re bouncing around to different locations, poking stuff, talking to people who all secretly or openly want to fuck you, clicking weird little minigames that look like they were programmed in a hangover. I liked that it never slows down to explain itself. You either get it or you mash buttons until Shepard moans and something fills her. Works both ways.

The erotic focus is very clear: vaginal sex, a lot of it, not shy at all, with explicit angles that feel like the dev really loved certain positions and just kept reusing them. Creampie is everywhere. Humans, asari, monster girls with too many teeth, it all ends with Shepard leaking something. The parody vibe is strong, but a bit stupid in a charming way, like someone remembered Mass Effect from years ago and is re-telling it from memory while half watching porn on another monitor. Liara T’Soni shows up, or something close enough to her that your brain fills the gap, and the scenes with her are honestly the best part. There’s this one bit where you’re supposed to do something serious for the mission, but the “puzzle” is basically teasing her until she caves and begs you to fuck her, and then the actual objective just pops up done afterward. That kind of fake challenge happens a lot: a puzzle, a stupid little pattern matching game, then suddenly you’re riding some alien on a console in the background like it’s nothing. It’s stupid. I still replayed that Liara scene three times.

Sound is where it got me, though, which is probably not what the dev expected. The music is this weird mash of euro-club loops, slightly off-key sci-fi ambience and cheap porn groove. None of it matches tempo properly and I kind of love it. There’s a track in one of the early ship sections that sounds like someone tried to copy the Mass Effect synth pads, then said “fuck it” and threw a lazy trap beat under it. Totally wrong for a dramatic commander speech, but when Shepard is naked and spread on some alien lab table, that beat suddenly makes sense. Her moans are uneven too, like they were recorded in different sessions with different mics, so sometimes she sounds like a porn star, sometimes like a streamer quietly failing to be discreet in a thin-walled apartment. It’s messy, but the mess sells the fantasy more than a perfect mix would. My only real audio complaint: there’s this tiny click every time one specific loop restarts in a sex scene in the medbay. Once you notice it you can’t unhear it and it drove me insane. I kept expecting an update that fixes it. It never came.

Anyway, don’t come here for deep sci-fi, even if it pretends to be Mass Effect with monsters and fantasy bits glued on. The “adventure” is just an excuse to walk into a room, say something horny and completely unprofessional, then end up with Shepard’s legs in the air. Some of the sex scenes play out almost like bad fanfic you’d find on an old forum, but the game leans into that cheap feeling so hard it circles around to being fun. Shepard acts like the galaxy’s horniest commander, you get a bunch of alien and monster girl scenes, some light puzzles that exist mostly to slow down your fap just enough, and a soundtrack that sounds like it’s coming from an old pirated MP3 collection. It’s trashy, it knows it’s trashy, and it kind of winks at you every time another creampie drips out on the floor of the Normandy.