Horny Pokémon comedy is kind of a cursed idea already, and this thing leans into it like it lost a bet. You start off thinking “ok, funny parody, some lewd jokes, fine,” then five minutes later you’re arguing with a half-naked cosplayer in a fake court trial while an Umbreon does this slow, smug ass-wiggle in a reward scene that’s way too lovingly animated for something that was probably drawn on a Tuesday night. The whole thing feels like someone mashed a shitpost thread, a cheap casino, and a con artist trainer campaign into one chaotic little adventure. You run around this con-style hub, poking into rooms that look innocent until you notice the posters on the wall are absolutely not PG, and every “NPC” is either trying to flirt with you, scam you, or bait you into some risky bet just to unlock another naughty picture. It’s not classy. It’s not pretending to be classy. It’s more like “hey, remember when you were a kid collecting cards and now your brain is rotten? Good. Have some lewd stickers and half-dressed trainers.”

The cosplayers are the real meat here, if we can call it that. You’ve got this whole thing where some are common, some are rare, and then there’s that ultra rare James cosplayer that the game treats like a shiny legendary with a daddy kink. You bump into them and suddenly you’re in this silly half-serious situation, almost like a mini side quest, and if you manage to “save” them you get a secret reward lurking in the shop later that basically screams “yeah, you worked for this thirst, now enjoy it.” I kinda love that the game is horny but still laughs at itself. There’s this court trial mini game where you’re clicking through dialogue trying to ace the logic while the characters are wearing outfits that would get you banned from most servers, and I swear I missed a key piece of testimony just because I was staring at a cleavage window that looks like it could cut glass. Then you’ve got the casino, tossing coins around just to find some rare book, and the payoff is another slice of erotic nonsense that somehow feels earned, even though you literally just gambled until RNG liked you. I wish the UI didn’t feel like it was found under someone’s bed along with the old doujins, but whatever, it works. The Umbreon animation is honestly too smooth for how janky some of the menus are, which is weirdly charming and also annoying as hell. And the sticker sets? They feel like the devs were just doodling horny fanart during class and then dumped it all into the game, which, to be honest, is exactly the vibe this mess needed.

This one feels like somebody took all the horny “what if Haunter actually grabbed the trainer” jokes from Discord and just said, ok, fine, let’s make that real. It is not subtle. You drop in and it’s already happening: the trainer girl is out there, outside, in the grass like in the old games, but instead of random encounters you basically get this haunted, hypnotic fuck session. Haunter just floats behind her, that stupid grin, and you can tell right away this is not a “maybe romance” kind of thing. It’s straight to mind control, straight to her slipping into that glassy-eyed, hypnotized state where she clearly knows it’s wrong but her body’s already saying yes before her brain catches up. That moment where her pupils go soft and she still tries to bite her lip like she’s resisting is honestly the best touch. I paused the animation there like three times, just to stare at her face.

The main fantasy is very simple: big ghost dick, small trainer, outdoors, and she ends up riding him instead of him “attacking” her in a normal way. Girl on top, reverse cowgirl, the whole thing. I like how the first time she throws her leg over him, she hesitates for half a second like a real person would, then the hypnosis effect kind of tightens on her and she just sinks down anyway. It’s not just “cut to penetration”. You actually see her body trying to adjust to the size, the way she leans forward with her hands on her knees, breathing out, like “ok fuck it, we’re doing this”. The rhythm starts clumsy, kind of slow, like she’s getting used to that big cock, and then you see that little flick in her eyes when the hypnosis intensifies and suddenly she’s slamming her hips down harder, riding him like she’s the one in control even if she clearly isn’t. I know “girl on top but under mind control” sounds weird, but it really works here. It has that “she looks like the dominant one, but you know Haunter is piloting the whole show from her head” vibe.

What surprised me is how much the outdoor setting actually adds. There’s no big busy background, just that hint of grass and open space, enough to make you think, ok, anybody could walk in on this. That little public risk feeling without having ten NPCs staring. It feels like those moments when you’re playing on an emulator on your phone, walking in tall grass, and in your head you’re already making up degenerate versions of what’s happening offscreen. This is basically that daydream turned into a loop. The parody angle is obvious, but it doesn’t spam jokes, which I like. It’s more like, “you already know the source, we’re not going to explain anything”. There’s some jank too. The loop resets a bit too hard sometimes, and one frame where her hair does a tiny awkward pop annoyed me way more than it should and I kept watching for it again like a psycho. I kinda wish there was one angle from the front so we could see her tits bounce while she’s riding him, but at the same time the reverse cowgirl angle shows the way her ass claps around his shaft in a very lazy, very satisfying way. It’s short, it’s focused, and it absolutely knows it’s about a hypnotized trainer getting completely addicted to ghost dick in the grass. No morality, no build up, just that dirty “I shouldn’t like this, but I really, really do” energy that fits Haunter way too well.

Con-Quest feels like somebody mashed horny con culture and a shitty magic RPG together after watching way too much hentai, and honestly, that’s exactly why it works. You’re wandering around this ridiculous anime convention where all the girls are stuck in cursed cosplay, and your “heroic” job is basically to go around stripping the magic off them, making them cum silly, and then collecting them like pervy achievements. You toss out spells that hit like budget Pokémon moves, catch these corrupted cosplayers mid-fight, and every time you beat one, the game rewards you with a new lewd scene or pin-up that actually feels earned instead of just thrown at your face. It’s not subtle. One moment you’re frying a witchy Pikachu girl with horny lightning and the next she’s tied up, panting, her costume half torn, cheeks wet, begging you to “finish the quest.” The writing keeps winking at you with dumb jokes while still letting you enjoy the fact that your magic basically works like a consent spell for filthy scenarios. It shouldn’t be hot, but it is.

What I really liked is how the game leans into the parody without losing the fetish energy. The con is full of girls in outfits that are just one ripped seam away from hentai disaster: the Bulbasaur cosplayer with vines that behave way too much like tentacles, the Pikachu girl who shocks you when she’s turned on, the shop NPCs that keep slipping into random cutscenes where they flirt, tease, and then act offended when you stare at their tits. Battles are short and stupid in a good way: you’re juggling mana, throwing the same three spells, cursing a bit when the stun doesn’t proc, then suddenly she’s on her knees in the reward screen, boobs bouncing in a short animation that loops just long enough for you to forget you were supposed to play “tactically.” The game pretends to be about quests, but really it’s about that moment when you unlock a new animation, zoom in, and realize somebody cared enough to draw every little jiggle and drool string. It’s messy, it’s horny, the UI clicks feel cheap, the gashapon RNG made me want to punch my screen, and the dialogue sometimes reads like horny Twitter, but at the end you’re still there, wandering the con, hoping the next girl you “save” will moan a little louder when the magic bursts her cosplay apart.

This thing feels like someone mashed together a late night hentai binge and the part of Pokémon GO where you keep wandering into weird places, but then just stopped caring about “family friendly” at all. It is Dawn out in the forest, way off the main route, grass up to her knees, still in her normal trainer clothes, backpack on, that same stubborn face, and then she loses a battle she should totally win. No prize money, no items, nothing left to trade except herself. The way they handle that moment is what made me kinda stop and stare at the screen. One second it is the usual trainer trash talk, next second she is backing up against a tree, fingers hooking under her panties, you actually see her hesitate, then she just drags them down and you know exactly where this is going and there is no “fade to black” safety net.

What surprised me is how much they lean into the whole “clothed sex” thing. She never strips fully, which is honestly more hot than full naked all the time. Her skirt bunched up around her hips, jacket still open, bra strap half showing, boots sunk a bit in the dirt. When the guy steps in behind her and just lines himself up, you still see her hat a bit crooked, she is clearly a trainer, not some random pornstar pasted in. The first push into her is rough and she grabs the tree bark with both hands, you see her knuckles go pale. There is this quick cut to her face, mouth open like she wants to complain, but the only sound is that small shaky moan. They keep showing the cum building up, every thrust making this wet noise that feels way too loud for a quiet forest. When he finally dumps a creampie inside her, they linger on it. You see the spurt, the twitch, him staying buried while she trembles and tries not to collapse, then when he pulls out, it drips down her inner thigh onto the grass. As a parent I’m sitting here thinking “ok this is absolutely not for kids who just know Dawn from the anime” but at the same time the way they animate the messy cumshot is so specific that you kinda forget you were going to be responsible.

I wish they did more with the whole “battle result” side of it. Like, imagine some little mini prompt where you could choose if she resists more or if she starts begging for it when she feels him sliding in deeper. Instead, it is pretty straight, she loses, she pays with pussy, end of talk. There is something funny about how calm everyone in the scene is about it. No shock, no “oh my god I am paying with my body”, just panties off, bend over, forest floor as her bed. It reminds me of when people in Discord servers joke about “trainer tax” in NSFW channels, like of course if you lose, you get filled up. I played this in Chrome with uBlock still on and it actually ran smooth, which is rare for these adult browser games that usually choke worse than the characters do. The lighting at dawn is pretty nice too, kind of orange at the edges, enough to see sweat on her back when he is pounding her. The camera sometimes swings too low and you get only his balls smacking against her for a bit, then jumps up to her half turned face while she bites her lip and you can almost hear the leaves rustle under her shoes. If you want to make it really spicy, watch it with sound up and no other tabs open, let the wet slaps and those short gasps be the only thing in your head and just follow every thrust until that last thick shot of cum starts leaking out of her used little trainer hole.