Sometimes it can be far tougher to stay under the radar at senior high school than sneaking into a secret facility. Blending in with the crowd might actually be harder than infiltrating a global criminal syndicate. Imagine how difficult it is to walk down the hall wearing last season’s skirt while everyone’s eyes are on you, compared to studying a group of muscle-bound gangsters in a tight bodysuit.

But that’s exactly what your girls from "Absolutely Spies" do all the time - whatever’s hard, they turn into a walk in the park! These girls don’t just blend in; they own every room, every hallway, every dangerous scenario. They’re not just spies - they’re masters of disguise, deception, and daring moves that leave everyone else breathless.

In this game, you step into their shoes, navigating the treacherous world of high school espionage where every glance could expose you and every wrong move could blow your cover. You’ll have to choose your outfits carefully because blending in isn’t just about looking the part - it’s about surviving the social minefield without raising suspicion. From dodging nosy teachers to outsmarting rival spies and even dealing with unexpected crushes, the pressure is relentless.

You’ll sneak through crowded hallways, eavesdrop on secret conversations, and gather intel that could topple criminal empires - all while keeping your identity hidden. The tension is electric, and every decision counts. Do you risk drawing attention with a bold move, or play it safe and wait for the perfect moment? The choice is yours, and the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Get ready to dive deep into a world where teenage drama meets high-stakes espionage. Your mission: survive the chaos of high school, outwit dangerous enemies, and prove that nothing is too tough when you’ve got the skills of an Absolute Spy. Are you ready to take on the challenge and become the ultimate undercover agent? Step in, gear up, and show them what real stealth looks like.

First thing, this game feels like someone mashed together Pornhub search history and a political sim in Nutaku on a cracked tablet, and somehow it works way better than it should. You’re not the president, you’re the creep in the shadows tugging the strings while this poor bastard in the White House is basically your remote-controlled sex dispenser. One moment you’re forcing him to sign some “anti-drug” bill so your company can sell even stronger shit under the table, next moment you’re sending him to a “private negotiation” where he has to suck up to a foreign leader’s “secretary” who looks suspiciously like Tifa Lockhart with a bigger ass and that lazy ahegao smirk. There’s this scene where you blackmail him using a video where he gets milked by a domme that looks like a mix of Lady Dimitrescu and Lara Croft, towering over him in heels, slapping his face while he whimpers, and the game is like “approval rating down 5%” and I actually laughed because yeah, sounds American enough.

Touch controls on phone are super scuffed but in a hot way. You’re dragging dialogue options like “humiliate the president publicly” or “sell your own daughter to a lobbyist for influence” and it’s messed up, but the UI is light enough you can play with one hand on Chrome while pretending you’re checking Telegram. The scenes themselves use those 3dcg models with a lot of jiggle and shiny skin, and the camera really likes big tits and big asses. Sometimes you’re in an office corruption scene with some cyberpunk style escort that’s obviously a D.Va cosplay girl turned prostitute, sometimes it jumps hard into bestiality or tentacle stuff with no warning, like you’re in a normal blackmail route and suddenly the “experimental biotech partner” is tentacles teaching the president what “real diplomacy” is. My brain went wait, what, but my other brain already accepted it. There’s a really nasty incest subplot too, where you can push your “family protection” angle into full-on corruption, trading your own sister’s ass to a senator for votes, with a voiced line where she sobs and still moans a bit, and that hit a particular degeneracy button that Harem Hotel style games love. One thing that annoyed me: the game keeps teasing Judy Hopps and Cyberpunk 2077 style chrome hookers in ads inside the world, but doesn’t let you actually click into all of them yet, just little exhibitionism events where the president is forced to watch while you test new toys on some slave girl. Also they said no soundtrack, and yeah, it’s dead quiet, only voice and sex sounds, which weirdly makes the humiliation scenes feel more raw, like some leaked OnlyFans set, but my phone speaker clicking with every tap is still more immersion than I asked for.

You start as this guy who just wants to know why his family got kicked out of their hometown, and very fast it stops being some cute little mystery and turns into “ok, are you gonna save the world or fuck it up completely.” The place is full of horny mythic girls hiding in plain sight, and every time you poke your nose where you shouldn’t, you either end up in a moral dilemma or with your dick in someone’s mouth. Often both. One moment you’re talking about politics between humans and monster folk, next moment a busty minotaur milf is on her knees, drooling on your cock like it’s holy relic. The game doesn’t even pretend you’re a pure hero. You can play the sweet romantic idiot who blushes at his first handjob, or go full mind control bastard who turns “enemies” into obedient slaves that milk themselves on command. The fantasy village, the temples, the back alleys where prostitution basically lives, the weird cult altars where religion and corruption mix together, it all feels just a bit too eager to get your pants off. You wander around in this sandbox, taking quests, seducing twins, blackmailing a virgin priestess, spying on monster girls masturbating behind thin paper walls, then deciding if you want to be the caring boyfriend type or the guy who bends them over an altar and creampies them while they do that stupid ahegao face. And yeah, the ahegao is everywhere. The dev really loves that.

What’s nice is how often the game throws small lewd situations at you for just messing around. Open the wrong door and you catch a shy elf girl in cosplay, half naked, rubbing herself on a pillow and moaning your name she “totally doesn’t think about.” Or you get dragged to some dungeon by a fanatical nun who wants to punish you for “sin,” and that turns into a BDSM scene with spanking, ropes, and her begging you to fill her because “god is watching.” There are animated bits where asses jiggle when you go anal, tits bounce when you go rough, milk leaks when you play with the lactation stuff, all that good, fucked up detail the internet already ruined us with. The harem side kinda sneaks up on you too: one day you just realize you have a demon girl, a monster milf, some jealous human girl you’re cheating on, and a pair of twin sisters all fighting for who gets your cock first. You swear you’re gonna play “good route” and be loyal, then the game drops a voyeur scene where you catch two girls going lesbian with each other, and your only real choice is “watch and jerk” or “join and ruin everything.” And yeah, there is mind control, and it can get dark. Turning someone from righteous paladin into a corruption toy that begs for anal in public while you order her to show off her dripping pussy, that stuff hits different, in a fucked up way. The mobile version makes it even worse, because now you’re commanding your monster girl slaves from the bus or toilet like some fantasy pimp with a pocket harem, and it feels wrong and also very, very right.

Didn’t expect a parody game about cartoon moms and princesses to hit that weird sweet spot between trashy and oddly sincere, but here we are. It starts all innocent - bright colors, the kind of smooth animation that screams “safe for work” for about five seconds before the camera decides it’s not. The first scene with Violet trying to figure herself out (and failing, spectacularly) caught me off guard. She fumbles, she blushes, she *asks questions* like a real person instead of a scripted puppet. Then Helen shows up, and the tone flips. Suddenly it’s not awkward anymore, it’s charged - like someone turned the thermostat up but forgot to tell the characters. I laughed once, then shut up quick. Didn’t expect to feel anything, honestly.

The transitions are too slow, though. Like, you can feel the kinetic novel format dragging its feet sometimes, holding poses too long between lines. But the writing sneaks up on you - it’s not clever, but it’s self-aware enough to poke fun at itself. Elsa and Anna showing up later? Total chaos. The kind of chaos that makes you question who’s actually in control - the player, the “director,” or the girls themselves just deciding they’re done pretending. There’s one scene - you’ll know when you see it - where everything goes from soft kisses to something much rougher, and you can practically hear the line snapping between “curious” and “corrupted.” And yeah, the POV angles are shameless, but that’s kind of the point. It’s not pretending to be art, even when it accidentally becomes it for a frame or two.

What sticks isn’t the sex (though, okay, the anal bit was animated way too well for a parody). It’s that weird emotional aftertaste - like watching a bootleg Disney ending where nobody gets redeemed, they just get *real*. The soundtrack fades out, the light lingers on sweat-slick skin, and you realize the game never promised catharsis, just exposure. And somehow, that’s more honest than most “serious” adult titles trying to act profound.