I swear this game started like a joke. I opened it expecting some lazy swipe-right simulator with recycled anime faces, but it slapped me with this weird mix of horny sincerity and unhinged chaos. The first match I got wasn’t even hot at first glance - looked like someone’s OC from a forgotten DeviantArt page - but ten minutes later I was reading her chat logs like they were gospel. The writing flirts between cringe and genius. Sometimes she’ll tease you with a line that sounds like it came from a bad fanfic, then follow it with something so filthy it short-circuits your brain. I caught myself grinning like an idiot. That’s embarrassing to admit, but whatever.

There’s this rhythm to it, like the devs knew exactly how long to keep you waiting before dropping the next explicit scene. Not that the pacing’s perfect - half the time I was yelling at my phone because the dialogue wheel bugged out or the transitions froze mid-thrust (yeah, that happened). But when it works, it *really* works. The futa characters all have that exaggerated anatomy thing going on - huge everything - but it’s not just about size. There’s personality behind it, like each one’s got a story that’s been fermenting in some dark corner of the internet for years. You can tell someone poured way too much love into making sure the teasing feels personal. It’s messy, sure, but that’s kind of the charm.

The weirdest part? The game pretends to be about romance, but it’s really about control. You think you’re choosing dialogue options, but half the time the girls are steering you like a toy. There’s a scene with a rooftop confession that spirals into something obscene so fast I actually laughed out loud. It shouldn’t work. It does. And yet, I still hate that the text font looks like something from a 2009 flash game. Why is that what sticks with me? Maybe because everything else feels too alive, too raw, like it shouldn’t even be on a phone screen.

Elf MC, horny ancient ruins, and a world that looks suspiciously like someone mashed Google Maps with hentai brainrot. That’s kinda the vibe here. You’re this pretty boy elf guy wandering around a fantasy land that clearly wants you to get distracted by tits more than by history. One second you’re poking around some old kingdom mystery, clicking weird stone symbols, trying to solve what looks like a bootleg mobile puzzle from the Play Store, and the next second some monster girl is in your face asking for “help” that very clearly means “put it in me.” And yeah, the game doesn’t pretend to be shy about it. You talk, you point & click, you figure out what shiny thing goes into what hole, then usually something else goes into someone else’s hole. Clean loop.

The animations are actually decent for a first chapter, you get that 3D feel when the elf is buried between thighs or when he’s getting his cock stroked with slow handjob motions that don’t look like someone shaking a broom handle. Oral scenes go from gentle teasing to full deep throat pretty fast, which is nice, though the sound is sometimes weirdly quiet and then suddenly wet as fuck. Vaginal stuff has a nice rhythm when he’s pounding, especially when you finally push to creampie and you see everything pulse inside. They really like finishing inside. Like, really. Pulling out is apparently against elf culture or something. The romance angle is hit or miss; sometimes the dialogue tries to be sweet and it works, other times it feels like a pornhub comment thread translated through Google. But that kinda adds to the charm for me. It’s messy. The girls are a mix of “I will help you on your noble journey” and “take your pants off, traveler,” and the monster girl design is good enough I actually forgot about the treasure room behind her at one point. I still don’t forgive the game for making me replay the same little puzzle 3 times just because I misclicked once. That shit annoyed me and then I immediately forgot because there was an elf getting his cock sucked by a girl with fangs.

The point & click exploration has a nice “I’m lost but also kinda turned on” mood. Sometimes you’ll click something expecting lore and you get a blowjob offer instead. Other times you’re sure it’s sex time and it’s like “solve this pattern first, idiot.” The game loves teasing progress, edging you with small scenes before the bigger payoffs. There’s a part where you help a girl in danger, think it’s gonna be a quick thank you and goodbye, and then it just turns into this slow, almost romantic fuck with kissing, soft moans, and then a rough finish where she begs for you to cum inside her. I liked that. I also hated that the inventory icon is tiny as hell and my dumb eyes kept missing it. Never fixed that, just kept squinting like an old man. Whatever. If you wanna enjoy it, don’t rush. Click around, poke every corner, talk to characters twice, sometimes a normal line suddenly turns into flirting, and flirting turns into a hand under the belt. Let the elf be a little slutty scholar. Solve a puzzle, earn a blowjob. Fail a puzzle, reload and go again. That’s pretty much the religion of this game.

Temptation’s Ballad feels like someone took a horny D&D session, removed the shy players, pumped the bard full of slutty energy and then forgot to write a safe word. You start in this medieval fantasy city that pretends to be serious with demons and noble houses and gods and whatever, but the game is very honest about what actually matters: who you’re going to fuck, how badly you’re going to mess up your party’s reputation, and how much property damage your dick (or tits) indirectly causes. It calls itself “fairly linear” but it doesn’t feel stiff. More like a drunk march in one direction where you keep getting distracted by a hot ass in the alley, some half‑clothed monster girl in a tavern, or a noble milf who really needs “help” with her magic circle. One moment you’re trying to act like a real hero, the next you’re getting your face sat on by a smug futa demon who treats you like her favorite chew toy. The story leans on the classic trio of idiots party setup: disaster gay, smug bastard, and something in between that definitely should not be trusted around potions. Their banter is half the fun, because they talk like actual horny people who overshare, tease, flirt too hard, then pretend it was “just a joke” while obviously staring at each other’s bulges. There’s real romance in there, surprisingly soft sometimes, and the game just throws it next to scenes where someone is getting spanked in a backroom while a voyeur peeks through the cracks. It shouldn’t work together, but it does, like putting lube on holy water.

The erotic tone is really on that line between silly and nasty. You get all the classic stuff: sloppy oral, tits used like they’re religious objects, thick cocks that clearly don’t follow standard fantasy anatomy rules, creampies that would absolutely require healing spells after. The city of Axia feels like a sandbox for kinks, even if the main plot is straight like an arrow. You’ll walk into a side scene thinking “okay, just dialogue” and suddenly there is a dommy knight stepping on someone’s chest, or a monster girl wrapping a tail around a guy’s throat while riding him. There’s casual interracial stuff, big black cock jokes thrown in like shitposts, and netorare tension playing in the background when someone’s crush gets a little too cozy with a rival. The game never stops to politely explain corruption or cheating either, it just lets you sit there with that ugly horny feeling in your chest while a character moans another person’s name. Sometimes the pacing is a mess and a really nice emotional beat gets bulldozed by a sex scene with way too much groping and not enough build up, like the writer was afraid to let you breathe. I kinda hate that. I also kinda love it. The soundtrack is the quiet hero here, by the way. Fantasy tavern strings and flutes that slide into slow, bass‑heavy, low‑tempo tracks when clothes start coming off, the kind of music that makes you turn down your volume on Discord because you know exactly what you’re doing. There’s even this one track that loops during a teasing scene where a character keeps grinding on your lap but “won’t let you cum yet” and the rhythm matches the fucking text speed. That little sync made me laugh and then immediately shut up because it actually turned me on. It’s not a classy game. It doesn’t want to be. It’s messy, loud, horny, too obsessed with big boobs and bigger problems, and Axia feels like a place where every summer vacation ends with someone pregnant, corrupted, or tied to a bed. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

You start as this kinda broke dude just wandering the city, checking your phone way too much and pretending everything’s fine while you’re basically one missed payment from sleeping in the alley. Then a friend hits you with “hey, I need a favor” and suddenly you’re neck deep in horny zodiac bullshit and monster girls who are way out of your league. It feels like a dating app got drunk, fucked a horoscope site, and then the baby decided to be a sex sim. One moment you’re trying to be smooth with some tall Leo girl with big tits hanging out of her top like they’re about to apply for citizenship, and the next you’re answering weird personal questions from a cold Scorpio type who looks like she might peg you just to see if you cry. The flirting isn’t just click line, get sex. Sometimes you say the “right” thing and she actually gets pissed, leaves you blueballed with a half-open bra and you’re just sitting there like, did I seriously lose anal because I picked the wrong snack option.

What I really liked is how shameless the game is about the sex and also about humiliating you. One monster girl just straight up treats you like a toy, makes you follow her around shops while she’s basically showing off her ass and boobs to every NPC, and you can’t do shit except carry bags and get teased. Her dialogue stuck in my head, that line where she calls you “good boy wallet” before shoving your face between her tits on the street, people watching, and you feel like trash but also you don’t want it to stop. There’s exhibition stuff everywhere, like public blowjob scenes where you can decide to be a coward and hide, or let her keep sucking while a cop walks by and pretends not to see. Sometimes your choices just unlock extra dirty versions of scenes, like normal vaginal sex turning into “oh by the way I’m futa, put that cock in your mouth first” and you didn’t exactly sign up for it but you kinda did. The futa girls hit different here, not just “oh look, extra dick”, more like they’re playing with you, making you choose who gets the creampie, front or back, and there’s a line where one of them laughs at you for cumming too fast inside her ass, telling you she’s had better from a vibrator.

The whole money system is stupid in a good way. You grind little jobs, get a bit of cash, then immediately waste it on toys like vibrators, ropes, plugs, collars, all that shit you swear you’re “just testing”. Some scenes change if you actually bring the toy, like instead of simple oral she’s choking on your cock while you push a toy into her pussy and she’s moaning about how she’ll squirt in front of the window if you don’t stop. Or you show up broke and she just laughs and uses you as her stress relief, riding your face, not even letting you fuck her properly because “poor boys don’t get pussy, only work”. The romance is there, but it’s messy. One girl actually gets soft and cuddly after you creampie her, talking about destiny and signs, and then later she ghosts you for three in game days and you find her grinding on some other monster girl in a club. Sometimes the game feels romantic, like a real dating sim with texting and picking gifts, and sometimes it just punches you in the dick with a futa dom scene where you’re bent over and wondering how the hell you got here from buying coffee. It’s chaotic, horny, kind of mean, and the AI-style art gives everything this weird dreamy porn vibe where the big asses and big tits look almost too perfect, like you’re imagining it after jerking off on your phone for too long. Honestly I love it, and also it kinda pisses me off, which is probably the point.