I didn’t expect to laugh this much during what’s basically a porn game about rebuilding civilization with your dick, but here we are. “Dickcare” doesn’t even pretend to have subtlety, which somehow makes it better. It’s like the dev looked at every crossover hentai fantasy - Velma squinting behind foggy glasses, Raven pretending she’s not into it, Tatsumaki rolling her eyes while secretly moaning - and said, yeah, let’s just throw them all in one ruined world and call it salvation. The writing’s half self-aware and half deranged sincerity; the voice lines swing between awkwardly horny and genuinely funny. There’s one scene with Frankie in a busted gym locker room that made me pause, not because it was hot (though it is), but because she calls you “hero” in this weird soft tone right before things get messy. It stays in your head longer than expected.

What’s wild is how much *sound* adds to everything. You can tell someone cared about the way a zipper slides down or the slap echoing off concrete walls. The sandbox part? Looser than it sounds. You wander, talk, get distracted by some zombie side plot that doesn’t matter, and suddenly Velma’s stuck halfway through a ventilation shaft. It’s ridiculous, yeah, but also... kind of perfect. There’s no grind, no fake moral choice. Just dirty, absurd freedom. Though, I swear one moaning loop cuts off too early - it’s such a small glitch but now I obsess over it. Maybe that’s the point: perfection would ruin the charm.

It’s funny how a game full of cum jokes and cartoon parodies ends up feeling more alive than most serious stuff. Maybe because it doesn’t care if you take it seriously. One minute you’re saving humanity, next you’re wiping something off Raven’s cape while she pretends not to blush. If there were awards for “Most Unnecessarily Emotional Cum Scene,” this one wins without competition.

Frank really picked the worst possible way to escape prison and the best possible place to wash up. Storm, wreck, boom, suddenly the dude is crawling out of the water into a familiar yellow square house that should not be this horny. He looks around, nobody home, nobody asking questions, so he just goes, “Yeah, sure, I’m SpongeBob now,” throws on the clothes and starts living this fake life under the sea. It sounds stupid as hell. It is stupid as hell. That’s kind of why it works. The game just leans into the parody thing completely, like a Newgrounds cartoon that got drunk, grew up and decided to stop pretending it’s for kids. One minute you’re wandering Bikini Bottom talking to cartoon weirdos, next minute you’re balls deep in someone with tits that would absolutely not pass broadcast standards. It’s all exaggerated, big tits, big asses, stretchy mouths, thick thighs, the whole hentai checklist but in this goofy aquatic world that used to run on Nickelodeon.

The tone is all over the place in a fun way. You’re this criminal hiding in plain sight, trying to remember you’re “SpongeBob” while also basically turning the town into your own personal sex playground. You can wander around, poke into houses you probably shouldn’t, get into some stupid mini-games, buy junk from shops, then somehow that leads to a blowjob behind a counter or a rough handjob in a back alley lit like a bad crime movie. The animated scenes are unapologetically dirty: sloppy oral with lots of spit, big cartoon cocks sliding between fat wet lips, pussy getting pounded while her huge chest bounces in that silly loop that looks wrong and right at same time. Sometimes it goes from silly to surprisingly graphic fast, like you’re laughing at a joke and suddenly there’s this intense vaginal close-up with her moaning like a full hentai OVA. The violence sneaks in too, not super serious but sharp enough you remember that Frank isn’t some innocent hero. He’s a fugitive who lies, pushes people around, fucks them, sometimes intimidates them. Definitely more male dom than soft romance here, even when the girls act all cutesy.

What surprised me most is how oddly cozy the sandbox feels even when everything on screen is nasty. You move across different Bikini Bottom spots, trigger crazy side events, stumble into lewd scenes you didn’t plan, then ten minutes later you’re grinding money again because you wasted it on some dumb store item that only unlocks one short sex loop. Some dialogues hit like shitposts from Reddit, other lines sound like the dev wrote them half asleep, but that gives it this raw energy. It’s not “polished narrative experience”, it’s “guy in a funny outfit lying to the whole town while shoving his dick where it doesn’t belong”. Sometimes the pacing goes weird and you’re stuck wandering around checking every door because the game refuses to tell you where the next scene is, and then out of nowhere you trigger a scene with a stacked character who rides you like she’s trying to break your spine. If there was a DLC where Bikini Bottom just leaned even harder into the corruption, with even more twisted hentai-style events and Frank losing the last bits of morality he has, I’d play that in a heartbeat. Even if I’d complain about some tiny bug in the shop UI and then completely forget I ever mentioned it once the next girl drops to her knees.

I kept thinking it would just be another lazy “fan VN with tits,” but it weirdly had… charm? Or maybe that’s not the right word. Whatever it was, it hit differently once the teasing started - the way Boa looks straight at you like she knows you’re full of shit but still leans in anyway. I swear the game flirts harder than the girls do. Sometimes it’s just dialogue boxes, sure, but you start noticing the pauses, the way her lines cut off right before something filthy. And then the sandbox kicks in, and suddenly you’re juggling Nami’s smirk, Vivi’s fake politeness, and Yamato being, well, Yamato - the kind of confident mess you swear you don’t want and then keep chasing.

It’s rough around the edges, like some scenes load too slow and the CGs shift quality mid-click, but honestly that almost makes it sexier? Like catching someone off guard. There’s one bit in Punk‑02’s route that had me grinning stupidly - not even because it was explicit (though it definitely was), but because it played off the whole exhibition thing like they knew you were watching too closely. That’s messed up, I know. And yet it’s probably my favorite little perversion this side of mobile gaming. What pissed me off though: they never fixed that hair glitch on Perona. She deserves better. But fine, maybe that’s her curse or something.

Pretty sure whoever wrote Lilith’s dialogues either had too much rum or just really understands frustration as foreplay. It’s so on the nose it’s perfect. I’d complain about repetition, but then I caught myself replaying Alvida’s scene three times just to catch a blink animation. Guess we’re all hypocrites here. Sometimes the story pretends to care about treasure hunts and pirates, then forgets mid‑scene because a button pops loose on someone’s shirt. That chaotic tone is what keeps it alive though - too sincere to be parody, too horny to be serious.

It’s weird how this one sneaks up on you. At first it feels like one of those parody dumps you scroll past on itch.io or Nutaku and forget - then you’re watching Hange fuss with her goggles and catching yourself halfway between laughing and, well, not laughing. There’s a kind of dirty sincerity here, like the dev didn’t know whether to make fun of the universe or to really bathe in it. One moment you’re getting briefed about Titans, the next Mikasa’s hand hesitates on your chest and you realize the “sandbox” part is literal - wandering through the quarters, flipping dialogue triggers that suddenly get hot without warning. That random transition is what makes it surprisingly human. You don’t see the gears until you stumble over one and it clanks.

I’ve seen folks complain that the pacing’s off: you chase down a half‑rendered encounter with Ymir that just sort of fizzles out, then an hour later Historia corners you behind the mess hall like she’s delivering classified files but she’s… absolutely not. I like that inconsistency though; it’s messy, like someone stitched a daydream with shaking hands. Animation’s oddly specific - hands twitch, breathing loops are slightly off - but when Petra looks up mid‑scene, it gets under your skin. Levi’s scenes? Short. Like they were scared to write him too softly. And yet, the quiet when he leaves the frame lingers longer than any moan line. Maybe it’s accidental genius, maybe just bad QA, but it works. The worst bug I hit was a sound loop that kept repeating a wet slap under normal dialogue. Left it running for five minutes on accident - didn’t even hate it.

What actually caught me off‑guard was the romance side. The game pretends it’s about strength and powerups and whatever, but half the time it’s people craving touch between apocalypse schedules. There’s this one sequence with Frieda where nothing explicit happens for, I don’t know, ten minutes? Just eye contact. I kept waiting for the usual payoff…and it didn’t come till later, in the next dream, where her voice cracks mid‑breath like she’s remembering that past life. The rough grammar in her textboxes somehow makes it sadder. It’s clumsy, hungry, and weirdly kind all at once - like the dev poured in every horny emotion and forgot to filter anything out. I respect that. I hate it. I can’t stop thinking about it.