Charlie in this thing is like if some horny fanfiction writer got drunk and rewrote Star Wars from memory, but only remembered the boob parts. She shows up in that half-assed space outfit that looks like it failed a cosplay contest, and somehow her tits are both the main plot and the side quest. Blonde, big, bouncing every time she pretends to do “space combat”. Feels less like a Jedi and more like a walking pair of soft hitboxes. And it kind of works, in a stupid, dirty way. The humor is pure 2009 internet energy: stupid puns on character names, sex jokes that don’t even try to be smart, and then suddenly a threesome scene that hits way harder than the build-up deserves. I was laughing at the dumb “force-skin” jokes and still clicking like a degenerate, which is a strange combination. Sometimes you want high art. This is not that. This is like porn Mad Libs written during a late-night shitpost session. And yet I kept going.

The “choices” are that funny kind of fake freedom where you know the dev is just teasing you, but you still pause a second like, ok, do I send Charlie to flirt with the old creep space master, or do I push her right into the princess’ lap first. One click and boom, she’s on her knees testing the “dark side”, like yeah, we all saw that coming, but it still hits nice when the camera gets a bit too interested in her mouth and the strings of spit. The threesome stuff starts chaotic in a good way, like the scene doesn’t know if it wants to be a joke or a straight-up fuckfest, and the result is Charlie stuck in the middle, tits squeezed together, someone behind her, someone in front, and all the dialogue is horny parody that absolutely overstays its welcome. I liked that everyone talks too much, then I got tired of it, then one stupid gag about the “shaft” made me snort again. The princess is written like that one smug girl from your porn search history who pretends she’s above it, then five minutes later she’s riding like she invented it, moaning something about “galactic peace” while getting absolutely railed. It’s crass, sometimes lazy, kind of embarrassing, pretty hot, and way too convinced its own dick jokes are clever. I’m not proud of how much I enjoyed watching Charlie “negotiate” with the pimp master using her throat, while some knockoff Jedi wisdom plays in the background like a bad YouTube parody. But I did. And if the idea of a horny blonde space bimbo juggling cocks and stupid puns in a galaxy that looks suspiciously like a Pornhub comment section makes you grin even a little, you already know where this is going.

This one feels like some horny nerd finally snapped during a Star Wars marathon and said, “fuck it, I’m making my own space porn.” You’re basically a scruffy nobody drifting around a very familiar galaxy that is totally not copyrighted, trying to make money, pull jobs, and slowly corrupt a bunch of Jedi girls who should absolutely not be alone with you in a locked room. There’s this cheap smuggler vibe to everything: backwater cantinas, shitty little side deals, coded messages, passwords that look like they were scribbled on a napkin after too much beer. Half the time I felt like I was playing some cracked version a friend sent on Discord, even though it’s just how the game is written. That ugly charm kind of works. You’re not a hero, you’re not a chosen one, you’re a guy who figures out you can push people with the Force and also push their morals until they start doing filthy things for you. Star Wars fantasy, but not the “save the galaxy” one, the “fuck the galaxy” one.

The girls are the real point, of course. They start off with that clean Jedi attitude, calm and moral and all that, then you grind their resistance down with training scenes, stupid errands, and those awkward “meditation” sessions that are 10 percent philosophy and 90 percent “oops I touched your thigh again.” Those CG scenes are where the game stops pretending and just goes full-on hentai brain: robes sliding open, lightsabers forgotten, a lot of messy facial expressions where they clearly don’t know if they should be ashamed or just moan louder. There is this moment early on when you finally get one of them alone in your ship’s crappy little cabin after doing some scam with a smuggler password, and she’s acting all formal, standing straight, talking about “discipline,” and you realize the dialogue wheel quietly shifted from teacher mode to “make her strip for ‘focus’ practice.” It’s ridiculous, and also hot, and also morally awful, and the game never really pretends it’s anything else. Sometimes it even throws you these awkward choices like, “Do you respect her boundaries” next to “Use the Force to make her horny,” and you already know what kind of game you clicked, so yeah.

There’s a nice little thrill when you punch in some code like INDIANATK or whisper a word like Nispack to the right shady character and suddenly a door opens, a new CG set unlocks, or a Jedi girl “accidentally” loses her top during a sparring session. It feels like cheating on a test you didn’t study for. The pacing is weird as hell: you might spend forever talking, grinding a bit of money, bouncing between planets, then bam, one scene where you have her kneeling between your legs in a dimly lit cargo hold, trying not to be heard by the crew. Then it cools down again and you’re stuck clicking through dialogue like some horny accountant. I wish the smuggler side of the game had more bite. You keep hearing about shady deals and dangerous runs, but most of the time it’s just menu choices and the occasional “job success” line, and then you’re back to seducing space nuns with fancy swords. But then again, I opened it for porn, not space economics, so maybe that’s fine. The whole thing feels half trashy fanfic, half dirty little puzzle about how far you can push a Jedi before she starts begging you to use the Force on her in ways the council would absolutely not approve. It’s crude, unpolished, and kind of exactly what it wants to be.

It starts messy, in the best possible way. You’re tossed into this warped version of the galaxy far, far away - not the kind that smells like burnt metal and destiny, but one thick with sweat and bad decisions. The whole thing feels like a fever dream that someone spun out after one too many Holonet smut threads. You’re the guy who somehow made it to Jedi Knight while everyone else got distracted by the war or by each other’s asses (and they’re massive here, holy hell). Half the time you forget why you’re supposed to be saving anything because Barriss bends forward mid-dialogue and the robe just... doesn’t hold. Then there’s Aayla, all cool confidence until her mouth opens, breathing hard like she’s half-daring you to break the code. They all do that. Even Padme - who says words about diplomacy but arches her back every time your name drops. It’s ridiculous and hot at once, like watching porn on mute during a political debate.

The turn-based fights almost feel like foreplay. Every encounter teases longer than necessary, camera angles doing that thing where you can’t tell if you’re fighting monsters or auditioning them for something darker. When Bo-Katan shows up, the whole tempo changes - less talk, more bite - and suddenly the lightsaber doesn’t look like a weapon anymore. My favorite stupid detail: in the menu, somebody coded a “meditation” button that just leads to sex scenes. Lazy? Sure. But it fits. Nothing here pretends to be noble; it’s all dirty Jedi business in slow motion. And when the game finally pops one of those creampie endings, you don’t even blink. You just chuckle, fix the screen ratio on your phone, and keep pressing through because apparently defeat can look like victory if the moaning syncs just right.

Weird thing is - somewhere between the teasing and the parody nonsense - it stops feeling like a joke. You catch yourself liking these twisted versions more than the real ones. Maybe that’s the Force talking. Or just the fact that the writing knows exactly how low you’ll sink for another glimpse under a Jedi robe.

You wake up as Lieutenant Arkay, already balls deep in Empire bullshit and not even sure if you’re the bad guy or just the horny one who signed the wrong paper. General Orbius dumps you on this secret research station called S.H.A.D.O.W., floating in space, quiet and cold, with that soft humming sound in the background that makes everything feel like it’s vibrating under your feet. Doors slide open with that smooth hiss, lights bloom across the floor, and every corridor feels like it’s hiding some dirty secret around the corner. It’s all very sci-fi and serious at first, then the “research” part hits: monster girls in containment, clone soldiers that look almost the same until you notice their tits or their eyes or the way they bite their lip when you grab them by the throat. There’s this weird mix of military discipline and pure filth that actually works. You’re still writing daily reports for the Empire, but between lines you’re thinking “yeah, I made her cum 3 times and then filled her ass, is that classified too, sir?”

The game plays like a sandbox of bad decisions. One moment you’re pretending to do your duty, checking data on some console like a good officer, next you’re cornering a clone in a maintenance bay, hand on her neck, thumb pressing into her pulse while the other one slides into her panties. The detail is nice in a dirty way: her breath getting shorter when you grope her, the way her thighs press together when you tease instead of fuck, the sticky sound when you finally push in after too much teasing. There is one scene where you’re in this observation room, watching a monster girl train with a group of clone girls. It starts as “combat exercise” and ends as you, behind one-way glass, jerking off while the monster girl pins one clone to the floor and licks her all over, and the others pile in. Full on group sex, tails wrapping around waists, hands everywhere, one of them riding a toy while you decide if you join them or just keep being the pervy voyeur. I actually liked the titfuck scenes more than I expected, which is stupid, because usually I skip those. Here, one MILF scientist in a tight uniform kneels in front of you in some random lab, pops her tits out of the white coat, grabs your cock and presses her soft boobs around it, slow, sticky strokes, leaving little smears of precum on her skin. You can feel in your mind that warm, slick slide, her glasses slightly crooked because you pulled her hair too hard. And I still think the anal scenes are the best part, except they kinda aren’t, except they are. The pacing is a bit strange: sometimes you spend too long just walking around the station, touching consoles, listening to Orbius talk about “important projects” while you’re just here waiting to creampie another clone. At one point I got stuck wondering if the clones even remember who fucked them yesterday or if it’s all blended into one long mission report titled “Arkay abuses his authority again.” Anyway, I got distracted by this tiny thing: the sound of doors. They always make the same noise, and now my brain links it with “someone is about to get groped.” It’s annoying. I kinda love it. I was going to say something about the fantasy part with the monster girls wielding strange powers, but now I just remember the way one of them clamps down around your cock when you push in her pussy while her tentacles hold another girl open for you, and yeah, whatever, lore can wait.